Silken Desires (10 page)

Needing out of the hall, Jonathan dressed in
his running gear and headed downstairs to the gym. Roy gave him a
nod as he entered. Never having worked out in a gym before, he
wandered around aimlessly looking from one complicated piece of
equipment to the next. Finally, he asked Roy how to use the
treadmill since running was his thing anyway.

Once he got the hang of running on a
machine, he could see the lure of getting a membership to a 24 hour
gym. Running had always been therapeutic to him. Even on a bad day
when there was no desire to run, he always felt better after. Jake
had tried to get him in the gym for years, but he refused saying it
wasn’t his thing. Just as the thought of joining hit him, he saw
his buddy standing in front of him with his arms crossed over his
chest.

“So what’s got you in here? I gave up on you
ages ago, and yet, here you are.” Jake walked around the machine
and to his side.

Jonathan kept his gaze forward, and didn’t
look at him. “Just felt like a run,” he said, nonchalantly.

“Now, I know that’s bullshit. When you’re
done, come see me.” Jake turned and walked away.

About an hour later, Jonathan went to see
Jake to find out what he wanted to discuss. Pushing open the office
door, he saw Jake on his phone so he took up residence in a chair
across the desk from him. He sat back and, to kill some time, he
found a fitness magazine and paged mindlessly through it until Jake
ended his call.

“Want to talk about it?” Jake asked.

“About what?” He tossed aside the
magazine.

“Why you’re running in my gym. I’ve had this
place for five years now and this is your first appearance.
Something’s up.” Jake’s narrowed gaze told him he wasn’t getting
out of there without some kind of confession. His friend knew him
well.

“Roxi has me stressed out. I really can’t go
into what’s going on with her. That’s her business and the rest is
between the two of us. It’s hard and out of my league, but I want
to get through it for her. I love her and always will. It’s
confusing, and I don’t know if I’m coming or going with her. She’s
got some hold on me, and I just want out. It sucks.”

“What sucks?” Jake leaned his chair back and
propped his feet on his desk.

“All of the above. What doesn’t?” He shook
his head. “I gotta head out. I’m supposed to meet with some people
at the club. Can you check in on Roxi for me throughout the
evening?” Jonathan stood looking down at Jake wanting to say more,
but he would be crossing many boundaries in doing so.

“Sure. Are you going out for an all-nighter?
Or will you be back tonight?” Twisting his wrist he read his
watch.

“I’ll be back, but probably late.” Jonathan
tapped his fingers on the desk. “Thanks man.”

As he headed out, Jake spoke to his back.
“If you need to talk and have no one else, maybe we can lift the
rules a little to get you through whatever it is you’re dealing
with. I hate seeing you like this.”

Without turning around, he said, “Sure.
Maybe.” But he knew that would never happen, and Jake probably knew
it too, but it felt good knowing his friend had his back.

After his shower he heard Roxi moving around
in the bedroom. The bathroom had two doors, one out into the hall
and the other to the bedroom. They never used the door in the hall,
but this time he did. Heading out with a towel wrapped around his
waist he almost ran into her in the hallway. “Sorry. I didn’t mean
to wake you.”

“You didn’t, I was already awake when I
heard the front door open, and then the shower came on shortly
after.” She never once looked to his face, and made no bones over
checking out his body. She took a step toward him and he fought the
urge to step away. “You look good Jonathan. You took care of
yourself.” She reached out and ran her fingers down his chest to
his abs, stopping at the trail of hair below his navel. He tried so
hard not to think about what her fingers were doing and where they
were headed, but his dick twitched anyway.

She smiled as the head of his cock tented
against the towel, and he groaned. “Roxi, stop. I’m going out to
the club tonight.” Her head lowered. “Don’t wait up.” He walked to
the bedroom to dress for the evening.

Three days later in his SUV, Jonathan sat
thinking of Roxi and the past few days they spent together. They
fell into a monotonous routine as she healed from her injury and
her whipping. No matter what though, he couldn’t help the emotions
he had toward her. All of which he didn’t want to have. She left
him, damn it. It wasn’t fair that she could just take up residence
in his heart again after all that time apart.

Jonathan started his engine and headed for
dinner with Linda at a nice casual restaurant, and following that,
a chick-flick she wanted to see. His feelings were all over the
place. He thought about things so much before the evening with
Linda began, that by the time he met up with her, his mood turned
melancholy.

After the movie they walked silently,
holding hands. Once they reached the passenger side door, just as
his hand reached for the handle, she grabbed his wrist.

“You haven’t said one word tonight. What’s
wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing.” He tried to smile, but it felt
all wrong.

“I haven’t known you that long, but I do
know when you’re lying. Let’s go.” She tugged on his arm, took him
to the sidewalk, and sat on a small concrete ledge outside of the
theater.

Her feet dangled and he pressed in between
them lowering his lips to kiss her. She turned away from him.
“Nope. Talk first. What’s wrong?”

He sighed. “Roxi’s what’s wrong. I know you
don’t want to hear about it, so let’s just go on with our evening.
Do you want to go to the club or a hotel?”

“I don’t care where we go, but we’re
talking. Nothing else.” When he opened his mouth to protest, she
shook her head. “I don’t mind. Really, is she all right?”

“She’s just in a bad place. I’m trying to
help, but I don’t know if I can do it.” He stepped out from between
her thighs and leaned against the wall next to her.

“Why? What’s the problem?”

“I can’t really go into with you. Let’s just
say her past is catching up with her, and I’m in the middle.” He
crossed his arms over his chest.

“Jonathan, look at me.” He turned his head
toward her. “I know you care about her, in fact, I know you love
her. It’s obvious.”

Jonathan gasped. “I—I do, but we can never
be together like that, we don’t work as a couple.”

“I know, I get it, and you’re both pretty
adamant about that, but I get a feeling you’re going to do what you
can to help her. You’re not the kind of guy to walk away from
someone you care about.” She ran her hand through his hair, his
eyes closed, and he stopped a moan before it could escape.

He thought about what she said for a moment,
and slowly nodded. “You’re right.”

“I know, and maybe one day you can explain
it all to me. I’d like to understand; your past, present, and
future.” She continued to drag her fingers along his scalp.

“She’s my past, you’re my present, and I
hope you’ll both be a part of my future, in different roles, of
course.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
She grinned. “I just want to know more about you. It’s apparent
that she’s a huge part of you, so naturally I’m curious, but I
respect you enough not to badger you if you don’t want to discuss
it.” She started to lower her hand and he reached for her arm,
stopping her. She chuckled softly, and continued stroking his
hair.

“I don’t mind talking about her. We’ve known
each other since we were very young. Elementary school is when her
brother, Jake and I hit it off. We were the best of buds and
nothing could separate us.” His lips pulled into a smile at the
memory of doing everything with Jake, but then the smile faded
away. “I had a crappy upbringing, but if it weren’t for their
parents, it would have been a whole lot worse. I love them as my
own family, each and every one of them. Did you know Jake and Roxi
are twins?” She shook her head and he laughed at the surprised look
on her face, not many people knew they were twins. “Not identical,
but I’m sure you figured that out.”

He continued. “I got to spend a lot of time
at their house, so, as you would expect, I saw a lot of Roxi too.
She and I were the best of friends too, but in a way that Jake and
I couldn’t be. She was soft and sweet and let me be who I needed to
be. Not that Jake didn’t, but you can’t cry around your best guy
friend.” He looked at Linda, and she smiled warmly at him.
“Especially when your father doesn’t make it to career day when he
said he’d be there. I was there for Roxi and she was there for me
in that emotional kind of way. We have a unique connection that
I’ve never experienced with anyone else.”

Jonathan paused, glancing back toward the
parking area, and Linda remained silent. “And I just found out
recently that she never cried around Jake that he could recall. I
suspect it’s because I got the brunt of it, but I didn’t mind, and
I would never want to change what we had.” He turned his gaze to
Linda sitting there looking so sweet and listening so intently. He
realized then how much he truly enjoyed her company, and how much
he liked her.

With one last sweep across his scalp, she
lowered her hand to her side. “And you shouldn’t, you should hang
on to those memories of the two of you. That’s what will help you
carry her through all of her burdens right now.”

Jonathan couldn’t believe how kindhearted
Linda was being. He had a fucked up life, and lived in a fucked up
situation that she knew little about, but she knew enough. The
average person would’ve high-tailed it out of there and never
looked back. “Why are you with me?” he asked, quietly.

“What do you mean?” Her forehead wrinkled in
confusion.

“You know how I chose to live...you
know...my unorthodox lifestyle. You know Roxi is my ex, my ex who
I’m living with, no less, and who is currently my sub. What the
hell are you doing with me?” He wasn’t sure what the expression on
her face was, maybe a little empathy, and a little concern. “I’m so
fucked up.”

“Whose life isn’t fucked up? And for
starters, neither of us is looking for anything serious or
long-term, and I like you. I also trust that you’d tell me if
things were more serious with Roxi than her being your sub. I don’t
begin to know or understand the first thing about your lifestyle
even after reading about it.” Her face relaxed into a more sensual
look. “But I do understand that she is your sub and not your
lover.”

“Is that what you are? My lover?” he
breathed, and his heart did a little flip, he liked the sound of
that.

Her cheeks pinked up. “Well, I wouldn’t go
that far.”

He spun toward her and lowered his lips to
her ear, and whispered, “Why not?” Then he placed small, soft
kisses along her neck, eliciting a moan from deep within her
throat.

“Perhaps, in a
sexual
manner,” she
suggested.

That’s all he needed to hear to put him in
the mood. He planted himself between her knees again and kissed her
desperately on the mouth. Pulling away, he asked, “Club or
hotel?”

“I don’t care.” Her lips pressed back
against his. Their breathing rolled out fast and shallow, and as he
deepened the kiss, a nearby car door slammed, reminding him they
were in public.

“Let’s get out of here.” He wrapped his arms
around her waist and lifted her from the ledge, but not before
giving her a meaningful squeeze.

***

Pulling up in front of his house, he heard
Linda inhale a deep breath before she spoke. “Not a hotel, not the
club, but a
damn
nice place. Yours?” He cut the engine and
they sat for a minute.

“It is. Is this all right? I didn’t feel
like the club, and hotels are just…yuck.” He scrunched his face,
and she giggled.

“This is fine with me, a little overwhelming
though.” She looked at his not-so-modest home.

“It’s a little extravagant, I know. It’s a
family house, and they insisted I live here. I could care less,
really.”

She shook her head her mouth gaping open at
the beautiful home, and laughed out loud. “A little extravagant?
Why do you even work? Clearly you have money.” Finally pulling her
gaze from his home she looked at him.

“Clearly.” His response sounded dry. He
wasn’t much for the money or the things that went with it. Pulling
his key from the ignition, he asked, “Ready?”

“Yes.” Her smile melted his insides, and he
knew he made the right choice in bringing her home instead of
elsewhere.

Inside they were greeted by his housekeeper
and long time family friend, Pilar. “Hello Mr. Jonathan. I heard
your car…
Oh
, you have a guest?” She walked to Linda with her
hand extended. “Hello, I’m Pilar. Can I get you anything?”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Linda, and we just
came from dinner and a movie, so I’m good, but thank you for
asking.” The overly excited woman finally let go of Linda’s
hand.

“Anything I can get for you before I retire
Mr. Jonathan?” The woman asked, but kept looking at Linda.

“No, thank you.” Jonathan hugged the older
woman. “Sleep well.” Pilar did not reply, but had a huge smile
plastered on her face.

Once out of view and when they could no
longer hear Pilar’s footsteps, Linda asked, “Is she family?”
Jonathan took her hand and led her down the hall out of the
entryway.

“No, her family used to work for my parents.
When I came back from college, Mom sent her to me because, well,
look at this place. I couldn’t maintain it on my own.” He chuckled.
“That would be a disaster. I don’t even want to live here, but I
promised my mother. I’d prefer a small apartment or house,
honestly. This is too big for me and Pilar.”