Sins of September (3 page)

I moan softly as I bring myself to orgasm.

I’m getting really good at this.

June 1, 2010

2914 Juniper Drive, Fort Smith, Arkansas

Jesse’s moved into a regular house now. I’m not sure when that happened because we haven’t been in touch much over the past few years. Scout comes to Meridian once or twice a year, but Jesse drives her down and then comes back to pick her up. I’m usually not at home when he does, and that’s by design.

The truth is part of me hasn’t forgiven him for not keeping me with them. It’s been four years and the pain has now morphed into a dull ache that rarely surfaces, but isn’t totally gone. Maybe it never will be.

“This is nice,” I say to him, following him down a hallway to where the bedrooms are located.

Jesse still looks handsome at twenty-nine and my teen-age eyes are drawn to his ass and how his jeans make it look kind of epic.

“Thanks,” he replies, entering the second door on the right. “Here’s your room.”

“I have my own?”

“Yep. Got three bedrooms now. You and Scout share a bathroom, I have my own. Your mom always wanted a house like this. Too bad she didn’t stick around long enough to see me make that happen.”

And I know for whatever reason, Jesse still thinks about her. More than I do, that’s for sure.

I turn to face him and I catch his blue eyes perusing me, as if seeing me for the first time. I’m wearing tight shorts and my long legs are lightly tanned already. His eyes move back up to mine.

“It’s good seeing you again. You’re growing up to be beautiful.”

I watch his full, sensual mouth; his words finally make their way to my brain and connect. “Just like your Ma,” he finishes.

And the compliment is
spoiled.

From the back of the house a door slams and I hear the sound of Scout’s voice ring out.

“Is September here?”

“I’m here!” I call out and within seconds she’s bouncing into my room, throwing her arms around me tightly.

“Hey there, take it easy, Scout,” Jesse scolds though he’s smiling down at his daughter with pride. “Don’t break your sister.”

And with that he leaves us alone. Scout is talking a mile a minute, filling me in on how much she loves the new school she goes to now that they’ve moved to this new house, and her new friend, Catherine, that lives just next door.

“Wanna go meet her?” she asks, her blue eyes sparkling with happiness. And I’m glad that she’s happy.

“Sure,” I reply, tugging at her ponytail. “Lead the way.”

And so we go outside and across the concrete driveway, Scout’s hand in mine, as she knocks on the screen door of the two-story white colonial with red shutters and proudly presents her ‘big sister’ to her new friend, Catherine.

Catherine looks to be about the same age and mumbles a shy ‘hello’ and then off they go down into the basement to kill water bugs.

“That’s their new favorite pastime,” a thirtyish looking woman says, coming out onto the porch, giving me a smile. “You must be September, right?”

I nod.

“I’m Catherine’s mom, Casey,” she says, holding her hand out for me to shake. “That’s all Scout’s been talking about for the past two days. It’s really nice to meet you. You wanna sit for a minute?”

Before I have a chance to respond, she tells me she’s got some sun tea in the kitchen and instructs me to have a seat while she fetches me a glass.

I take a seat on the porch swing, wondering why she wants to chat with me. She doesn’t even know me.

It doesn’t take long once she returns to figure out that it’s Jesse she’s interested in—in a major way.

“So, that father of yours sure does work hard and long hours, doesn’t he?”

Sipping my iced tea, I’m aware of the slight blush that colors her cheeks after she makes the statement. “He’s my step-dad,” I clarify, “And I guess I can’t speak to his work routine, because truthfully, I haven’t spent any time with him over the past several years since my mother took off on us.”

“Oh, so he’s divorced then I guess? Scout wasn’t sure. . ,” she’s fumbling now all over her words. Jesse must affect her big time.

“Actually, I’m not even sure about that myself,” I answer honestly. “Want me to ask him?”

“Oh heavens no,” she replies quickly. “I didn’t mean to be nosey like that. He’s just kind of a quiet person and hasn’t lived here long; I guess I’m just curious.”

Curious? Nosey? What’s the difference?

I remain silent.

“Now I offered to keep Scout if he needed me to since I’m a school teacher and I’m off for the summer, but he wouldn’t hear of it. Said he didn’t want to be an imposition. I suppose that sitter he was using didn’t work out for him since he has you here now.”

She’s pressing for information that I simply don’t have. “I guess,” I reply with a shrug. “I haven’t had a chance to talk to Jesse yet. So thank you Mrs. . . . ?”

“Just call me Casey, hun. I’m not a ‘missus’ anything anymore. Catherine’s dad and I are divorced you see.”

“Yes, M’am—I mean, Casey. Thanks for the tea.”

“Anytime, sugar. And tell your step-daddy I’ll have you all over for dinner soon, kind of a get-to-know-your-neighbor thing, okay?”

“Sure will. See ya.”

Luckily, I wait until I turn and head down the porch steps before I let go of my eye-roll. I know that Jesse has every right to pursue female company, even at my age I can understand that. And then my mind wanders to the possibility of Jesse falling in love with Casey. I mean, they
are
around the same age I suppose.

I’m bothered by the thought of him being in love with her, or with anyone for some reason, and I’m not sure why. Clearly I think he deserves better than my mother, so it’s not about hoping for them to reconcile. I’m not sure what it is, so I push it from my mind and head back into the house to catch up with Jesse and find out exactly what his expectations are regarding my duties for the summer.

July 4, 2010

It’s been a little over a month since I first arrived at Jesse’s home in Fort Smith. We’ve got a nice routine going, and taking care of Scout and doing the housework has proven lucrative for me.

He pays me one hundred and fifty dollars a week to watch Scout, clean the house, do laundry and prepare meals. Scout helps me a lot so it’s not really
that
big of a deal. He gives her weekly chores to earn an allowance and she loves tucking her ten dollars a week into her piggy bank. She’s saving for a skateboard and helmet.

Jesse rolls his beautiful dark blue eyes every time she starts yammering about it. Once she leaves the room he confides in me that he hopes she changes her mind about the skateboard by the time she has enough saved.

“Why?” I ask.

“It’s too fuckin’ dangerous,” he mumbles.

“Then why don’t you just tell her ‘no’?” I ask, showing my confusion.

He gives a pensive smile. “Because it’ll only make her want it more, and I don’t want it to be a bone of contention between us,” he replies. “She’ll lose interest before she has enough money, especially since I keep telling her the price is going up.” He gives me a rare wink and I melt.

“You’re a good dad.”

He steps closer to me and I can feel my heart race at his nearness for some reason. The masculine scent that’s only his and is familiar once again assaults my senses. “And you’re a good sister to her, September,” he says softly, pushing a stray lock of my blond hair behind my ear. “It’s been good for her having you here. I want you girls to always be close with one another, no matter what.” His dark sapphire eyes are warm with affection and my belly feels like butterflies are swarming.

“We will be,” I reply smiling, “No matter what.”

The moment is broken when his cell chimes and he looks at the caller I.D.

“Casey,” he says, “I’ll take this in the other room.”

I take a deep breath and my mind quickly pushes those thoughts I have about Jesse out. It doesn’t seem appropriate, besides he and Casey have started seeing one another.

That’s right.

True to her word, she invited us all to dinner the week after I arrived, and broke the ice with my step-father rather nicely. She sends casseroles over through the week to help me out, and baked goods that are to die for. The woman can cook and bake for sure. She’s a nester, no doubt about it.

He works twelve hour days, when in town, and his overnights to Oklahoma have dwindled to maybe once every other week. He’s always home on the weekends to spend time with Scout and me.

The last two Saturday nights he’s taken Casey out to dinner and then to a movie. It’s getting to be a routine it seems. Casey pays me twenty bucks to watch Catherine when they go out.

Catherine spends the night at our house, and last Saturday, I noticed Jesse’s truck was back in the driveway an hour and a half before he came through the door.

“Waiting up for me?” he teased.

I felt my cheeks flush, and I quickly tried to cover my embarrassment by saying something lame like I didn’t know how late it was.

He comes back into the kitchen where I’m finishing up the breakfast dishes.

“Casey’s invited us all over to her place for a cookout this evening,” he announces. “Scout and Catherine are going to camp out in the backyard. Apparently, Catherine got a pup tent that she wants to try out.”

“Okay, sounds like fun. Does she need me to bring anything?”

“I didn’t think to ask,” he replies sheepishly. “Want me to call her back?”

“Never mind. I’ll pop over there in a few minutes myself. Catherine left some of her Barbie dolls over here and if I don’t take them back over, Scout will claim squatter’s rights on them.”

He chuckles softly. I love seeing him happy—just not with
her.

“You two getting serious?” I ask and immediately wonder what the hell I was thinking by asking that. He doesn’t owe me any explanation and it’s seriously not any of my business.

“Not really,” he says with a shrug. “She’s a good woman, but I’m still officially married, and she knows that. I can’t commit to anything permanent at the moment, not that she’s expecting that or anything.”

I’m still shell-shocked at the fact that my mother hasn’t divorced him—or vice versa. He notices the expression of shock on my face.

“You okay?”

“You’re still married to Mama?” I ask, not hiding the total surprise that overwhelms me.

“She’s done nothing about it and it’s kind of hard for me to do anything when I don’t even know where the hell she is.”

“But,” I continue, “What if you want to marry someone else someday?”

“I won’t,” he says, wanting to change the subject. “So, are you in for going next door this evening? If you have other plans, it’s okay.”

How could I have other plans? My life is totally wrapped up with taking care of Scout—and Jesse, too. He realizes the absurdity of what he’s just said.

“You know, I feel bad that you’re spending the summer away from your friends—and maybe even your boyfriend. I know there’s not much time for you to meet friends here, but anytime you want to venture out on the weekend, you know—like to the mall or something, please just ask. I’ll let you borrow the truck or figure out some way to get you there, okay?”

“I don’t have my driver’s license yet. Just my learner’s permit from Mississippi” I reply sheepishly. “My grandparents said I couldn’t get my license until I could afford my own car and insurance.”

“Well, I guess we need to work on that, too.”

He’s really an awesome guy.

“I mean I know I’m not your
real
dad, but you kind of feel like a daughter to me, and I need to think about the fact you’re seventeen and there’s things teen-agers like to do. It’s been awhile since I was a teen,” he explains.

It doesn’t matter because the fact that he’s just referred to me as kind of being like a daughter to him has me bummed—royally.

“Thanks,” I say, turning to go to my room and get ready to shower. “I’ll let you know.”

Once in my room, I feel a plan forming in my hormonal-crazed, teen-aged mind that if nothing else happens this summer, I will lose my cherry.

One way or another.

I gather up Catherine’s dolls to take back over to her house. As I near the screen door on the back of the house, I hear Casey’s voice. She must be on the phone with someone. I pause thinking maybe I should come back later until I hear Jesse’s name mentioned.