Sins of September (5 page)

I realize the longer I delay making an appearance, the more suspicious it makes me look, even though I’m pretty damn sure he knows that I saw them.

Then it occurs to me that
he
has more to be embarrassed about than I do! And if I play it right, I can probably sprinkle some guilt on the whole thing to help put a wedge between him and Casey.

I don’t want them together—and it has nothing to do with my mother and the fact that she and Jesse are still married.

Please.

I’ve developed this major crush on Jesse—I mean are you surprised? It’s pretty damn obvious, isn’t it? But it’s not an adolescent crush like what I first had on Todd. There’s a sexual edge to this one and that’s totally on me—not Jesse. He’s never been anything but
fatherly
to me and that part sucks no doubt. It only means that I’ve got my work cut out for me.

I need to bide my time. The woman in me is telling me that and I will listen because I have to handle this very shrewdly or I’ll look like a total adolescent.

There’s that word again. Geesh!

I get up and hurriedly put on a pair of shorts and a tee, brush my teeth and put some semblance of order to my hair. I make my way into the kitchen with my ear buds in, listening to some of my favorite downloaded tunes.

Jesse and Scout are seated at the kitchen table eating breakfast. He’s set a place for me. The kitchen clock shows that it’s past ten.

I smile coming into the room, removing my ear buds and setting my phone on the table. “Sorry you had to make breakfast, Jesse. I slept later than usual,” I greet with a smile, acting very nonchalantly even though I’m not feeling that way at all.

“That’s not a problem. I like doing it when I don’t have to work. You know that.”

I can tell he’s not buying it. He definitely knows that I know so it’s there’s no getting around the fact that he’s gonna be bringing up the subject later—when Scout is out of earshot. I have time to prepare.

I put some eggs and bacon on my plate, and grab a slice of toast; making a chore out of spreading jam on it all the while I can still feel his eyes on me.

“Finished,” Scout declares, pushing her plate aside. “Can I go outside and play now Dad?”

“Your bed made?” he inquires.

“Yep.”

“Okay, brush your teeth and then skedaddle.”

She takes her plate up to the sink, rinses it and then loads the dishwasher. She’s outta the kitchen like a rocket.

He gets up and clears his plate and utensils. By the time he’s finished loading them into the dishwasher and refilled his coffee mug, Scout has already slammed out of the house, declaring she’s gonna be over at Catherine’s. I’m picking at my food, my nerves on edge because I know that he’s been patiently waiting for Scout’s exit before he addresses the subject of last night.

He sits down across from me and takes a sip of coffee. I can tell he’s uneasy about starting the discussion, turning the mug around in his hands. “September,” he starts, trying to choose his words carefully, “Were you watching Casey and me through her window early this morning?”

There it is—point blank in Jesse style.

No mirror is needed to show me just how beet-red my face has gotten as I look down at my plate. “I didn’t do it on purpose,” I say which is the God’s honest truth. “Scout came in from the tent because she’d peed in her sleeping bag. I helped her get cleaned up and in dry clothes, but she didn’t want to go back out there. I didn’t think Catherine should be left out there alone without Casey knowing it, so I went over to let her know. I wasn’t spying on purpose. I’m sorry.”

I finally have the nerve to look over at him to see how acceptable my explanation has been. I catch his frown.

“Well why didn’t you just ring the bell? Why were you at the front window?”

Oh God.

“I was going to,” I blurt. “But then I heard strange noises and I guess I was just . . . curious.”

“Curious,” he repeats. “Well, I have to tell you that Casey is . . . well,
mortified
that you’d do that. I mean think about it for a second. You’re damn near eighteen and by this time you know all about the birds and the bees—and about adult relations, am I right?”

I nod—feeling the pissiness starting to sink in.

“It wasn’t as if I stayed and gawked,” I lie. Now it’s time to put it back on him. “I guess I’m a little
mortified
too, Jesse. I mean after all, you’re still married to our mother.”

Hah!

I start to get up from the table, but his hand reaches across and stays me. His touch is like a bolt of electricity, sending ripples of shock waves through me.

“Now just a minute here,” he says, his tone getting firm, his eyes flashing darker. “Your ma left me years ago to be with someone else. I guess I’m expected to be what? Some kind of a monk?”

“Oh—so you do this all the time?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but no, actually, I
don’t.
What with my work hours and taking care of Scout, I haven’t had time to cultivate a relationship. It just so happens that moving here has given me the opportunity to meet a nice lady like Casey, and I guess it feels nice to have someone to care for and get the same in return. Can you understand that?”

I look into his eyes and see that he wants my approval for some odd reason. But he’s not getting it.

“No—I don’t,” I deadpan. “I’m a teenager, I get that, but I kind of had to grow up fast if you remember. I mean don’t get me wrong, I realize I’m not quite an adult yet either, but why would you string someone as nice as Casey along, when there’s no chance of marriage until you divorce Mama?”

Planting the seeds of guilt.

“What are you talking about? Who said anything about
marriage
?”

This is an opportunity I don’t intend to let slip by. “Well, I mean—Casey and I
have
talked before, you know? Girl talk sort’ve things and she shared with me stuff about her divorce, and that she wants to get married again. In fact, she asked about your status with Mama. That very first day I met her she asked about that, so I guess that’s why I mentioned marriage.”

“Hmmph,” is all he manages.

“But really, don’t
you
think it’s time you ended the marriage? I mean, what’s the point in staying married to someone that’s gone—deserted all of us the way she did?”

“Let’s not sway from the subject,” he replies, looking at me with those piercing eyes of his. “I think it might be a good idea if you apologize to Casey so she doesn’t feel quite so . . .
uncomfortable
about the situation.”

“Sure. No problem.”

He gives me a smile now, glad that I’m so acquiescent to his request. He continues to evade the obvious though. Why hasn’t he divorced Mama?

“Thanks, September. I appreciate it and I know that she will too.”

My phone rings. It’s Austin.

“Hi Austin,” I gush, getting up from the table to show Jesse I need some privacy.

Perfect timing.

I’m just putting the finishing touches on my make-up; having dressed in a really tight, really short jean skirt, with a clingy white summer camisole with a built-in push-up bra. My toned legs are smooth and glowing from the exfoliation I did this afternoon in the tub, along with the bikini wax that I was a bit over-do for.

I’d gone over to Casey’s around noon, asking her if she had a couple of minutes to talk. She came out onto the porch, rubbing her bare arms, and I could see how uncomfortable she was.

“Listen,” I said, “I’m really,
really
sorry about last night.” I explained to her the same thing I had explained to Jesse.

“I had every intention of ringing the bell, but well—I was kinda caught off-guard when I got to the steps and then heard those . . .
noises
coming from your open window. I seriously thought someone was in pain or being tortured and I guess I wanted to make sure that nothing was wrong, you know? You hear so much about home invasions and that sort of thing . . . so I was simply trying to play it safe. Be cautious in case I observed a crime in process and needed to call the authorities.”

I watched as Casey’s face turned several shades of pink as I explained my rationale for window peeping to her.

“I totally understand,” she murmured, not wanting to belabor the topic.

“So, am I forgiven?” I asked coyly.

“Oh honey, I was never
mad
at you—just embarrassed and of course, a little concerned that you might be upset or angry or something. You know all I want to do is make your step-daddy happy, right?”

“I get it,” I assured her. “In fact, I told him just this morning that he needs to stop dragging his feet with getting a divorce. I mean it’s been
years
since our mother left, and I expect he’d like to get married again. It’s perfectly natural that he wants a woman in his life, and I think you’re perfect for him.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah. I mean what my mom did was just plain wrong! Jesse deserves better than that and I can tell that you’re in no way anything like our mother.”

“What did Jesse say?” she asked, totally curious now.

“He said that up until he met you, he’s not wanted to have a relationship and that he
really
cares about you,” I replied with a big grin. “I mean I can tell that you make him totally happy.”

“Really?” she repeated again, not hiding her enthusiasm.

“Yep. But here’s the thing. Jesse works so many hours that he’s finding it kind of difficult to find the time to track my mother down, so that he can find out where she’s living and start the divorce proceedings and all. I was thinking that maybe since you’re off for the summer, you might be able to help him out with that.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” she replied, frowning. “I might be over-stepping my bounds.”

I shrugged, my expression turning dismal. “Well, I’d do it myself except I don’t know where to begin. Jesse doesn’t have a home computer so the internet is out. I thought maybe you being a teacher and all, having a computer at your house, you might know of ways to do that.”

I watched as she bit her lower lip thoughtfully. “You know, my brother-in-law has a business that does nothing but skip-trace work for collection agencies. Do you think that you can get me her social security number?”

“I’m sure I can,” I replied, eager to help. “Let me check around and I’ll try and get it for you by tomorrow.”

“Sounds good. I’ll give my brother-in-law a call as soon as you get it to me, how’s that?”

“Perfect. And Casey? Let’s not tell him that I asked for your help. I don’t want him getting pissed off at me for dragging you into it.”

“Trust me. This will be
our
secret.”

“Great! Gotta get back home and start my spa day. I’ve got a date with Austin tonight.”

“That’s great, honey! I think you and he will really hit it off.”

“I know we will,” I replied, waving good-bye to her as I headed down the steps of her porch. “See you later.”

I give myself one final look in the mirror and see that the smirk I’m wearing after thinking back to my conversation earlier with Casey is tell-all, so I lose it.

Tonight I have plans with Austin and I’m sure that he’ll be totally down with them. After all, his aunt is financially looking after his best interests for our first date.

I grab the condoms that I’d swiped earlier from Jesse’s room and toss them into my purse.

Showtime!

Jesse is in the living room playing a game of checkers with Scout when I make my appearance.

“How do I look?” I ask, twirling around to give them a full view.

I’ve added my brown heeled sandals, and I’ve pulled my blond hair up into a perky ponytail, to keep cool in the summer evening heat.

“You look pretty!” Scout says, her eyes widening. “Are you going on a date with Catherine’s cousin?”

“Sure am,” I answer with a smile.

I don’t miss the fact that Jesse’s eyes are perusing me as well, giving me the elevator stare, up and down, down and up. I see his brow furrow in concern. “Where exactly is the boy taking you?” he asks.

“He said something about going to a summer carnival over in Waldron,” I reply. They have rides and arcades set up—that sort of thing—and then a fireworks display.”