“Oh, come on, you know that’s not true. Your life would have been unbearable. Charles has issues, more issues than you think. Men like that always do! You don’t think this is his only transgression, do you? I should say not!
And
I should say, we don’t even
want
to know what else we’d discover if we started digging!”
Lauren straightened up and squared her shoulders. “Will you help me get my things out of Charles’s penthouse?”
“Of course, honey!”
“And then, I have to really address the practical side of things,” Lauren gave a sardonic little laugh. “I have no fiancé, no home, and no job.”
Kelly impulsively gave her a big hug. “You have me!” she exclaimed. “We can figure this out.” Then Kelly added quietly, “And I’m betting you still have Caleb.”
At this, Lauren’s eyes did tear up, and she shook her head slowly back and forth. “Caleb’s not that kind. He’s put me in his past. I know. He’s gone.” She gave another bone racking sigh and held her head in her hands. “I just want to cry and cry, and I can’t. I can’t even cry!”
“And do you know
why?”
asked her friend.
“Why?”
“You didn’t love Charles.” When Lauren attempted to interrupt, Kelly stopped her. “No, no! Don’t start with me. Thou protests too much! Be honest with yourself, Lauren. You
didn’t
love Charles. You loved the fact that a powerful man chose you and gave you a big ring and proposed. You loved all this magnificent wedding crap. You loved the Central Park West penthouse. You loved being asked to chair different charities. You loved going to exclusive parties and clubs on Charles’s arm. You hardly knew the man! If you did, you would have never said yes. And it’s a sure thing Charles didn’t love you.
That’s
been made painfully clear. A person like Charles is a sociopath. He can’t love anyone. Really. He can go through the motions, but the real feelings,
normal
feelings, don’t exist. And you’re a normal person, Lauren, with normal needs and desires. You said so, just now to Charles on the phone. You said you were an old fashioned — what was it now? — small town girl. You need to address that. Don’t forget, I’ve known you longer than anyone else in the city. You just got caught up in some nasty seduction. You didn’t know Charles, but what’s worse, you’ve lost touch with yourself. You don’t know Lauren.”
“What do I do about all the wedding plans?”
Kelly seethed with exasperation. “Have you heard a single word I’ve said? Walk away, Lauren.
Walk away.
It was all a sham! A ghastly sham. Wash your hands and your face and get that dirt off you. Start over.
Reclaim yourself.”
Kelly lowered her voice and spoke more gently. “Look, hon, I know it’s been a shock, no matter what I say. We’ll get your things this afternoon and this evening. You can stay here for as long as it takes to get on to the next step of your life. This is a good thing, Lauren, no matter how it feels right now.”
Lauren nodded, and two big tears slid down her cheeks. Leave it to Kelly to lend the proper perspective to any situation.
Later in the afternoon, when Brian had returned from his softball game, the three friends went to the penthouse to begin to pack up. As they disembarked the cab, Lauren stopped on the sidewalk just outside the door of the building.
“You okay?” asked Kelly, her hand on Lauren’s arm.
“I feel so weird,” Lauren said. “Like I hardly recognize it. And it’s just been a little over twenty-four hours since I left it.”
“Well, let’s get this over with,” Kelly said grimly. “Brian, did you call the truck so we can load this stuff and take it somewhere?”
Brian nodded. “I’ll wait here on the street until it comes. We can take it to the place where you stored your furniture from the Murray Hill place, Lauren.”
“Thanks, Brian,” said Lauren. Suddenly, Brian seemed even more like a golden retriever, infinitely good natured and completely dependable. She was beginning to feel truly grateful for having two such steadfast friends. “I don’t have too much to take. Mostly just clothing, and some artwork and books.” Lauren took a deep breath, and with Kelly close behind, she went into the building.
Albert, the doorman, greeted her. “Good afternoon, miss.”
“Hi, Albert,” Lauren answered. He pushed the elevator button for her.
The two friends rode up the elevator in silence. It came to a stop, and the door opened into the hallway of the penthouse. There were a number of boxes and some suitcases piled in the hallway. Dennis came out of the foyer.
“Oh, Dennis,” began Lauren, “I’m so sorry, but — ”
Dennis held up his hand. “A very unfortunate turn of events, Lauren,” he said. “I’ve taken the liberty to pack as many of your things as I could identify. Charles called me shortly after noon.”
“You packed my things?” said Lauren in disbelief. “Did Charles tell you to do that?”
“Yes, miss, he did.”
“Well!” Kelly snorted with indignation.
Lauren looked at Dennis. “Did you know about Sally Chong?”
He coughed uncomfortably, but answered her nonetheless. “I did, yes.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
Dennis looked her straight in the eye. “It’s not my prerogative to comment on Charles’s business. Frankly, I thought the matter would resolve itself.”
Lauren laughed bitterly. “Oh, but it has. It has, Dennis. Why didn’t you tell me? Why would you just stand back and let something like that go? I thought you were a different person.”
“The man signs my paycheck,” said Dennis flatly.
Lauren gave a sarcastic smile. So it came to this. All Dennis’s fussing and caring, his attentiveness, these were a sham, too. She knew now that the minute she left the penthouse forever, Dennis and Tina would never think of her again. They were bought and paid for. They were owned.
“Ha!” said Kelly, not afraid of giving her opinion openly. “Like she said, she thought you were a different person! Well, this will be easier than we thought.”
Dennis ignored Kelly’s comment. “You may look through the rooms, Lauren, just to make sure I didn’t forget anything.”
“I will do that,” Lauren said, and she walked by him into the foyer. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Kelly curl her lip at him as she followed Lauren into the living room.
Instinctively, Lauren drifted through the rooms to the bedroom, and into her dressing room. They had been ruthlessly stripped of all sign of her. Dennis had been thorough.
“What a good employee he is,” muttered Lauren cryptically. Then she paused. “Hey, I’ve just thought of something I have to do.”
“What’s that?” asked Kelly.
Lauren didn’t answer her, but she dug around in her bag and brought out the wedding folder. She held it up triumphantly to Kelly. Kelly looked at her questioningly and watched while Lauren went to the French doors, opened them, and walked out onto the balcony. With a single motion, she threw the folder over the edge. The air currents caught it, and all the papers, clippings, photos, and contracts flew out in different directions like so many birds being released from a cage.
“Hey!” exclaimed Kelly. “Don’t you have credit card numbers and stuff like that in there?”
“Only Charles’s,” said Lauren, and she actually smiled. “Let’s get out of here.”
Later on in the evening, Lauren sat at the dinner table with Kelly and Brian. She watched them carefully, enviously, even. For all her thinking of Brian as a golden retriever, she could see the real love her friends had for each other. She watched as they moved around the loft, each unconsciously aware of the other. She watched Brian’s hand lightly touch the small of Kelly’s back each time he passed her, even if just on his way to the refrigerator. Her heart nearly broke for herself when she saw them catch each other’s eye, telegraphing something only the two of them understood. Something intimate. And then there were the smiles shared between them. Every time one of them came into the room. As acerbic as her personality might seem at times, Kelly always smiled at Brian when he entered the room.
This is what I want.
Brian poured red wine into crystal stemware.
“Let’s toast,” he said, picking up his glass and holding it high. “Let’s toast to a new chapter of life for Lauren.”
“A mystery though it is,” said Lauren somewhat glumly.
“A mystery perhaps,” Kelly replied, “but unfolding as we speak — or, ah, drink.”
“I’ve been thinking…” Lauren paused to take a sip of the wine. “I’ve been thinking about what to do.”
“And?” prompted Brian.
Lauren set the glass down and twirled it between her fingers. “I do have something left. I have my grandmother’s house in Vermont. I know I’ve put it on the market, but it needs fixing up, and I need some place to be right now — and something to do. I’ve got a little stash, enough to finance me while I regroup. I’m going to pack up my things, go up to New England, and set up housekeeping there. It’ll be temporary, but it’s quiet and safe. And I can do a lot with the house. It needs painting and cleaning, and an occupied house always sells better than a deserted one.”
“I like that idea,” said Kelly. “I’ll miss you dreadfully, but I like that idea.”
“Doesn’t Caleb live in that same town?” Brian asked, staring at the legs of wine as they slid down the inside of his glass.
“Yes, yes, he does,” breathed Lauren, nodding her head slowly. “You know, I’ve been thinking about that, too. I’m no one to hold up as a paragon of morals. Look, I cheated on Charles.”
“That’s because you fell in love with Caleb,” said Kelly. “If you had been in love with Charles, none of this would have happened.”
“I did fall in love with Caleb. And I lost him. I lost him because I was afraid to give up what I had built, or what I thought I built. I only regret my total foolishness. I would give anything now just to have him back, but he’s not that kind of guy. Once something’s done, it’s done for him.” Lauren paused, sighed deeply, and took another sip of her wine. “I can live with it, though. At least I had that little interlude. That magic encounter. No matter what, I have my memory of that, and I can be pretty good at living with my memories, too.”
Kelly reached over and put her hand over Lauren’s. “You’re seeing things more clearly than you have in months,” she said. “Things are back on track. It will all come together now.”
Lauren looked at her friend. She was not so sure, but right now, this was her only option.
A L
ATE
S
UMMER
D
AY
one week later found Lauren standing in the driveway of her grandmother’s house, motioning to the driver of a midsized moving truck as it backed up to the door of the garage. “Okay, back a little more,” she called, illustrating with her hands just how far he had to go before he should stop. “Okay, stop! Good.”
The doors of the truck opened, and two men got out. “Where do you want this stuff?” the driver asked.
Lauren had already made a plan. The truck contained the contents of her Murray Hill apartment. She had sold most of the furniture, but she’d kept the sofa and two wing chairs, the dining table and chairs, drapes, some occasional tables, a small chest of drawers, and a few of the better table lamps. The boxes contained books and artwork.
“I’m going to store it here in the garage until I finish painting and redoing the inside, so it can all be unloaded here. I’ll take things in as I need to.”
The driver smiled at her. “That’s easy enough. Usually we end up carrying pianos up three floors!” The two men began to unload the truck. Lauren looked up when she heard another vehicle pull into the yard. It was Joan Halloran, the Realtor. She stepped out of her car and smiled as Lauren went out to meet her.
“How lovely to see you up here, again!” said Joan. “What’s this? Are you moving in? I came as soon as I got your call.”
Lauren laughed. Joan was a good enough soul, after all, even though her demeanor could be somewhat irritating. “Oh, no, Joan,” said Lauren, extending her hand. “It’s good to see you again.”
“Well, tell me, what’s happening here?”
Lauren took a deep breath. “I’m taking a break from the city. I decided that I’d come up here, chill for a little while, and get the house in some kind of real order. You know, paint, paper, decent furniture. Thorough cleaning. New drapes. That kind of stuff. Don’t you think that’ll improve the chances of it selling before winter?”
As was her habit, Joan overreacted, clapping her hands and squealing. “This is wonderful! Yes, that will help us get a better price for it! And stir up some competition, too. And just in time for foliage season. The leaf-peepers come up here, and they’re always looking for places to have as second homes. Summer places, winter escapes. This is wonderful news. My! And you’re moving right along, I see.”
“I have a specific block of time, and I’m going to get as much done as I can. I like the house a lot, and I want to see it restored. I’ve called a painting contractor already. They should be able to start tomorrow. At least that’s what he said.”