Content and full, Christopher leaned against the vast
tree trunk. Jesse’s head was in his lap, and Christopher carded through his
hair, both of them watching as the stars blinked above the mountains.
“So, you know why I sing. Tell me about jewelry. How did you
get into designing it?”
“My mom and I have always had a kind of fraught
relationship.”
“Something we have in common,” Christopher murmured.
“But one thing we always agreed on was jewelry. She was
quite the collector and I loved how shiny and beautiful the pieces were. I
started making my own when I was sixteen. All clumsy, awful stuff. I took some
classes at Arrowmont and made the usual chunky beginners pieces and was pretty
proud of them. It helped that they were in vogue back then.”
“My mom always wore really sparkly things,” Christopher
said. “I mean, before my folks’ marriage fell apart. Once we joined Christ
Light she stopped wearing jewelry at all, except for her wedding band. It was
devil’s lure or something like that. I just remember she was never as beautiful
after my dad’s affair came out. It snuffed a light out in her and Jesus hasn’t
brought it back.”
Jesse grabbed hold of Christopher’s hand and kissed the
knuckles. “My folks didn’t divorce, but they weren’t ever happy.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get us off track. Tell me more
about how you realized you loved making jewelry.”
“Well, that was the beginning. It helped that my mom
approved greatly and it drove my dad nuts. Then when it was time for me to
graduate high school I realized I didn’t want to go to traditional college.
There was a fantastic program in London and my dad was pretty eager to see the
ass end of me for a while by that point. I’d embarrassed him pretty badly during
my high school years.”
Christopher heard the slip of gravel behind his voice, a
catch of remembered pain. He bent low and kissed Jesse’s forehead, breathing in
the scent of his skin and the sweet, earthy field odors that clung to his hair
and drifted on the evening breeze.
“I did quite well there, but didn’t graduate. I decided I
was too good for that place, which, looking back, was insanely arrogant and I’m
embarrassed for myself. I used my dad’s connections and money to set up a tour
of internships with renowned jewelers all over the world. I never made it to
China or Australia, but otherwise I hit most of the countries I wanted to see.”
“That’s amazing. I’ve never been anywhere. I saw the beach
exactly once when I was thirteen.”
“That needs to be remedied.”
Christopher shrugged and turned his gaze to the mountains,
unwilling to meet Jesse’s eyes in hopes that he seemed more nonchalant about
it. “Money. It’s never been there. But my Gran had this kind of upsetting
conversation with me the other day…”
“Yeah?”
“She said when she goes she wants me to have the house and
that there would be some money for me too. She said to do something
irresponsible with it—travel or something.”
“Will you?”
“I don’t go against Gran.”
Aw, that’s my sweet boy.
“She sounds like a wonderful woman.”
“She is. She saved me more than once.”
“You know, I remember you said once that it was your fault
that Books and Fudge closed. What happened?”
Christopher sighed. “Gran would never agree that it was my
fault, of course. She’d say that ‘fault’ had nothing to do with it. But when I
was a freshman in public school, my best invisibility act stopped working. At
least when it came to a certain set of assholes who had figured out that I’m
gay. They never actually hurt me, but they made my life hell with threats and
taunts. I felt like a complete outcast.”
“Fuckers.”
“At the same time, Mom married Bob and the constant
harassment about my sexuality started at home too. I was near a breakdown,
honestly. I had no resources or coping skills to deal with the constant
negative attention. The more I tried to make myself invisible, the more these
guys would bully me. Gran came to visit and saw what was happening. She talked
to Mom about it, saying I needed to go to a private school where I would be safe.
Mom, of course, said there was no money for that and I needed to just accept
Jesus and the problem would go away.”
“Why do religious people pervert so much stuff?”
“I don’t know. But they aren’t all like that. Gran isn’t.”
“I know. It’s just…” Jesse sighed.
Christopher smiled softly and continued his story. He knew
what Jesse meant. “Gran was furious. She actually went to my father, the only
time I know of after the divorce. She knew he had the money to send me
somewhere. But his new wife—the first of three more—was the jealous type and
wanted his money going to
her
babies, not his
children from his first marriage.”
“Wow.”
“She was a bitch. I feel okay saying she was the worst of
them all because she was the only one I ever met. Jackie keeps up with him, but
after I found out about how he refused to help me, I haven’t been good about
staying in touch. Every once in a while we’ll talk on the phone, or he’ll show
up at SMD with his kids and want me to give them perks.”
“What a dick.”
“Gran sold Books and Fudge to put me in a private high
school. She owned the building outright. She made a ton from the sale, more
than enough to send me to school, and it’s what pays for her nursing home now,
and Jackie’s college and her two weddings. Gran floated me in Nashville for two
years before my pride just couldn’t take it anymore.”
“Did the bullying stop at the new school?”
“For the most part. I mean sometimes it would come up, but
it was never sheer hell like it had been.”
“Then she did the right thing. And it sounds like it worked
out for everyone, including her.”
“But she loved Books and Fudge. Everyone did.”
“Sure, but now people can love Black Doughnuts & Bear
Claws instead. And you got out of a bad situation.”
“You sound like Gran.”
Because he’s a smart man. Listen to him,
Christopher. Best catch you’ll ever get. Much better than a doctor.
“She sounds like a smart lady.”
I love him. You should marry him.
Tomorrow. Invite Bob to the wedding. It’ll kill him quick.
“She’s unique,” Christopher agreed. “You said your mom was
the one who got you into jewelry. Does she still support you in your career?”
“Oh, yeah. She demands custom-made pieces several times a
year. Usually to match some god-awfully expensive evening dress for some posh
party in Miami. Your family isn’t the only one with skeletons in the closet.”
“Yeah?”
“My mom…well, she’s the one who taught me that jewelry keeps
secrets and will never betray them to anyone. It’s the one little mystical
thing she ever bought into and I think it was just to soothe her guilty conscience.
Sometimes she’d buy a new piece, and she’d sit down with me and show me the way
it was put together. Then she’d say to me, ‘This one holds an important secret
for me, Jesse.’ I’d ask her to tell me, beg her even, and she’s laugh and say
only the piece knew and it would never tell.”
“That’s kind of mean in a way.”
Jesse laughed. “Oh, definitely. But I’m pretty sure I know
exactly the secrets those pieces hold. She tried to offload the guilt of her
trysts and occasional affairs with one of dad’s married colleagues. Always when
they were over, I think. Like a way to commemorate and yet define that it was
done.”
Christopher lifted his eyebrows.
“We’d never talk about it. Not in a million years. She and I
don’t have that kind of relationship. We barely talk about anything at all. But
looking back I remember several things that can only be explained that way.”
“Such as?”
“For example, when I was around nine, Mom, Amanda and I went
on a sailing trip in the Virgin Islands. Dad didn’t come. Work probably.
Anyway, the captain of the vessel was a handsome young guy named Don. Younger
than her by far. I woke up in the middle of the night once because I heard my
mom making a noise that sounded like crying.
“I got out of my bunk and headed to the little room she was
sleeping in, but she wasn’t there. I could hear her crying from the room Don
was staying in, and when I opened the door I saw her with her nightgown hiked
up and her legs spread on the bed. The captain was kneeling shirtless between
them, his face close to her…”
Christopher whistled. “Whoa.”
“At the time, I didn’t understand it. I said, ‘Mommy, are
you okay?’ or something, and my mom jolted up, grabbed my hand, and dragged me
back to my bed. Told me that she’d hurt herself in her private area and Captain
Don was trying to help her with it.”
“Wow.”
“It was only sometime in my teenage years that it all
clicked and I understood what I’d actually seen. And there were other men too.
A guy named Dabney that my dad worked with a lot. A distributor who would come
through town—sometimes when dad was away—and he’d always stay at our place. I
was fifteen when I saw them on the back porch fucking at three in the morning.
I was sneaking back in after some sexual shenanigans of my own so I couldn’t
exactly call her on it. And I didn’t want to anyway. Dad was in love with his
business. She was a society wife. They weren’t in love with each other ever.”
“Well, then. It sounds like our families are both shit
shows. How…comforting.”
Jesse laughed and sat up. “Oh, speaking of family, I brought
something for you. I’ve had it done for a few weeks now but I wanted to save it
until we were together doing something special. It brought us together after
all. I hope you like it.”
He lit a battery powered lantern in the twilight and dug
around in a side pocket of the picnic basket, bringing out a black jewelry
case. “I should have given this to you when it was still light.” He opened the
case, and there was the locket.
“Matt actually had deer teeth to the exact specifications
that I needed. It was like this locket was meant to be.”
Christopher picked it up, examining the heart of deer teeth
on the front, the acorns, and the perfect clasp that easily opened under his
fingers, so he knew Gran would be able to open it too. The small frames for
photos were beautifully filigreed. Every last detail was perfect.
“This is probably the kitschiest thing you’ve made since you
were a teenager.”
Jesse stayed silent.
Christopher let out a soft laugh, his heart in his throat. “And
she’ll love it. It’s perfect.”
“I’m glad.” Jesse exhaled audibly.
“I appreciate you doing this for me because I know it’s not
your style and—”
“Shh. My style is what it needs to be to make my client
happy. And I want to make you happy, Christopher.” Jesse’s voice held so much
more meaning.
“I’m incredibly happy—with the locket, and the picnic, and
the company.” Christopher frowned. “But, uh, do you have one of those credit
card thingies for your phone or something? I don’t have cash.”
Jesse shrugged. “I don’t think I want you to pay me.”
Christopher’s mouth fell open and he shook his head. “I’m
not comfortable with that. I commissioned you to do a job, which you did
beautifully, and I want to pay you for it.”
“All right. I’ll have Amanda bill you.”
“The same amount you’d bill anyone else.”
Jesse’s lips turned up slyly at the edges. “Am I so obvious?”
“Yes.”
Jesse’s fingers were cold when they touched Christopher’s
face. “C’mere.”
Christopher kissed him. His mouth was sweet and warm, still
tasting of pumpkin spice and the hard cider they’d sipped. In the darkness
beyond the lantern, the grass and leaves rustled in the breeze, and the night
sounds in the woods came to life.
Jesse pushed up to kneeling and took Christopher’s face in
his hands, deepening the kiss until Christopher was gasping, shaking all over
with urgency and affection. Jesse pulled back, his eyes glowing in the low
lantern light, and their shadows cast over the field.
“Lean back,” he whispered, pressing on Christopher’s
shoulders until he sat against the tree, the night air making their breaths
come in puffs between them.
Jesse clicked off the lantern and the moonlight became their
only light, disappearing and reappearing from between dark clouds shifting
slowly across the sky. Christopher’s hands shook as he touched Jesse’s face.
His rough stubble, less groomed than usual, dragged against Christopher’s
sensitive finger pads. He leaned in for another kiss, taking Jesse’s mouth,
praising it with his own and moaning as the kiss took heat again.
The tree rubbed against his back as he dragged Jesse
forward, gripping his jacket in both hands as spit and breath wet their chins,
cheeks, and lips in sweet, urgent touching. As Jesse moved his mouth down
Christopher’s neck, shiveringly good, wracking Christopher with a wish for
more—right now,
please
now—he stared up at the night
sky. The stars and moon above, the clouds, and the black outline of the
mountains carved out the privacy of this tiny valley for them. Just for them.
Jesse dragged his hands up Christopher’s spread thighs,
cupping his hardness, and he grunted against his neck. “I want to suck you.
Now.”
Christopher groaned and knocked Jesse’s hand away,
whispering, “Hold on, hold on.” He pushed up the tree, keeping his back to the
bark, the bite of it as he stood centering and compelling. With fumbling
fingers, he got his cock free, and he shivered at the shadowed form of Jesse
kneeling in front of him. He grabbed hold of Jesse’s hair, and Jesse steadied
himself on Christopher’s thighs, then opened wide and took him in.
The difference between the cold air and the heat of Jesse’s
mouth and throat was intoxicating, and Christopher threw his head back, crying
out sharply—a sound that echoed all around. A twitter of bats or birds were
jostled from the trees across the field, flapping in the night. His jacket was
bunched up on his stomach where he held it with one hand, and his underwear and
jeans pulled tight around his hips, but his cock was buried in Jesse’s mouth,
and he was close enough to coming just from that. It’d been over a week since
they’d had this, and based on the way Jesse was sucking him like he wanted to
pull his orgasm out of him before his next breath, they were both desperate for
it.