Read Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work Online
Authors: Paul Babiak,Robert D. Hare
Tags: #&NEW
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Lies mixed with truth
. His story would be plausible, but I’d notice inconsistencies. When I questioned the discrepancies, he would either explain them away or accuse me of being paranoid.
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Totally brazen lies
. A normal person, even one prone to exaggeration, would never think of making the extraordinary claims that Montgomery made. For example, Montgomery said he was awarded the Victorian Cross, Australia’s highest military honor, for his heroism in the Vietnam War. Well, he never won the medal. He never served in Vietnam. And even though he walked my dog every morning wearing a Special Forces beret, he never served in the military.”
Once you understand what has happened, you may feel like a patsy or a fool. Many former victims report saying to themselves,
“How could I have fallen for these lies?” or “I’m such a fool.” This is a normal feeling, but it is not without its costs. People who feel like fools wish to hide their foolishness. Rather than seek out confirmation or validation of their new view of the psychopath, they tend to avoid others. They sometimes believe that others have not seen what is going on, and while this may be the case, it is far better to confide
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in trusted friends and family than to allow the perception of foolishness to fester. Talking about your experiences and writing in a journal are good ways to dissipate your foolish feelings. You may also want to begin documenting what had transpired since you met the psychopath. Clearly, you should check your finances, personal documents, and other valuables that might have been taken or misused by the psychopath. It is important that you distance yourself and take action to protect yourself from further contact and retribution.
13. Work Through Your Feelings of Shame
Shame is a natural response to abuse. Because of this, many abusive situations go unreported. It is imperative that any feelings of shame be discussed with family, friends, or a trained professional. The first reason is that you do not deserve to feel shame, just as you did not deserve to be abused. It was not your fault; the psychopath is a predator and you were a target and victim. The second reason to seek help is that shame itself leaves you vulnerable to continued psychopathic manipulation. Consider some abused wives who, despite beatings and verbal assaults, beg their abusive husbands to take them back or go on to new abusive partners. It is just as easy for a psychopath to use your own shame against you as it was to use your flaws, lacks, and fears in the first place. Do not let shame for being conned prevent you from seeking help and guidance; do not let the psychopath use it as a weapon against you.
14. Anger and Vindication
By the time victims contact us, they are in the stage where they feel intense anger toward the person who manipulated and abused them, and they want to get even. We believe that this may be a healthier stage to be in, as long as the victim does not act on these feelings.
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Anger and the need for vindication are normal emotional and psychological responses, part of the repair and regrowth process. The anger often comes from the residual feelings victims have had all along but could not express because of fear and submission. It is critical that former victims work on their angry feeling with a trained mental health professional.
The need for vindication seems to be satisfied, at least for some people, by confirmation that the person who victimized them was truly a psychopath. Many victims have reported that the more they learned and understood about the psychopathic process the better they felt.
Some individuals want to uncover the psychopath for what he or she is. This is best left to the authorities if a crime has been committed. However, warning friends about the behaviors to watch out for can be useful and possibly save someone else from falling into a psychopath’s web of deceit.
Frank arrived at John’s office a little after 3 P.M., his arms loaded with files.
“Want some coffee?” asked John, standing at the credenza with a coffeepot in his hands.
“Yes, that would be great. I think we might be here a while,” answered Frank, putting his files on the coffee table and walking over to John. “What did you find out?” asked John.
“A lot, and it’s not good. Apparently, the team problem is just the tip of the iceberg. I pulled Dave’s personnel jacket, spoke at length with some of the folks on the team, and got an earful from some of the other department heads, including Tim in purchasing and Matthew in security.”
“Security? Oh, boy, this is going to be good. Why don’t you start at the top?”
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“Well,” began Frank, “while checking Dave’s personnel file I noticed some discrepancy between his original letter, his résumé, and his application blank.”
“Yes, what kind of discrepancy?” asked John, leaning forward.
“Apparently, he listed three different, although very similar, college degrees on these documents. I wasn’t sure if this was intentional or just a clerical mistake, so I asked Melanie to check his education.
Turns out that the university on his résumé was actually one of those online diploma mills. It’s bogus.”
“Why hadn’t Melanie brought this to our attention before?”
asked John with concern.
“Well, she hadn’t checked his background because we offered the job to him on the spot, remember? She said that normally she follows up on these things once—”
“I remember, yes, we jumped the gun,” said John, shaking his head. “What else did she find out?”
“He doesn’t have a criminal record.”
“That’s nice to know,” interrupted John.
“But he does have quite a few speeding tickets. Not really an issue, but since we’re taking a closer look, I asked her to get everything she could.” Frank sipped his coffee and continued, “I also found a note in his file from Tim asking Dave to—” Frank pulled out the note and read, “ ‘stop ordering supplies and equipment directly from suppliers.’ ” Frank looked up to find John staring at him. “Yes, apparently he’s been using his signature authority to buy a new computer, some peripherals, and a few small things without going through channels. Eventually, one of the internal auditors questioned Tim and he followed up with a note to Dave.”
“What did Dave say to Tim?” asked John.
“He said he was sorry, was new to the company, wouldn’t do it again, et cetera.”
“And nobody ever mentioned this to you?”
“No, Tim bought Dave’s story and decided to put a copy of the note in his personnel file should anything ever come up about it,” an-Unraveling the Puzzle
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swered Frank. “Melanie also suggested I talk to Matt in security, and he told me that Dave had caused a scene one day when a guard wouldn’t let him park up front.”
“Well, Matt’s group can sometimes blow things out of proportion,” said Frank.
“It wasn’t the only incident. Dave tried to enter the building after hours when he was new and didn’t have card access. He apparently went ballistic on the young lady at the desk, threatened to have her fired, and so on. So she wrote it up. Eventually, he asked me for access, and now, according to Matt, Dave and this guard are ‘best buddies.’ ”
“Please, let’s not start any rumors about that kind of thing.”
“I’ve got some more from Melanie.”
“Okay,” said John, pouring a second cup of coffee.
“She tried to check some of Dave’s references and found that out of the four he listed, one no longer worked at the company, two would only give neutral comments, and one said he was a ‘great guy.’
However, Melanie said that when the phone was answered on the last one, it sounded more like a fraternity house than a company.”
John frowned, and Frank continued, “so she did some digging around and came up with two contacts at Dave’s last two companies who agreed that he was trouble.” Frank picked up his notes and read,
“Quote ‘He’s a loose cannon, always chewing people out, lies a lot, a back-stabbing ass-kisser,’ unquote.”
“Pretty much what your guys are telling you,” stated John.
“Yes, the picture fits. And the new product project—”
“Yes?” said John, hesitantly.
“The whole idea, from concept to action plan, even the executive committee proposal presentation, was Dorothy’s work. Dave just tapped into her and took her ideas as his own.”
“You got that from Jerry?” asked John.
“Yeah, he never suspected, but Dorothy found a copy of the presentation on Dave’s desk and saw that her name wasn’t on it, so she confronted Dave in the meeting two days ago. He talked around it,
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telling her that I took her name off the slides. She then went to Jerry, who came to me this morning, but I had already gotten the story from my guy who wants off the team.”
“What else?” asked John, finishing his coffee and putting down his cup.
“That pretty much sums it up; there are more incidents and other details, but the bottom line is Dave is not the guy we thought he was. He can’t be trusted. I can’t trust him.”
“I agree, he doesn’t belong here,” said John, glancing at his watch. “I’m sure Melanie has left for the day; let’s take a walk over to Jack’s office and see if we can shut this operation down tonight.
Dave’s only been here about ten or eleven months, right?” Frank nodded. “Good, this shouldn’t be much of a problem. Melanie can draw up the letter tomorrow.”
Frank could see the lights were still on in the executive wing and felt relieved. As they headed down the hall, they ran into Victoria, Jack Garrideb’s secretary, leaving for the day. “Hi,” said John. “Is Jack still in?”
“You know he is, John,” smiled Victoria. “Mr. Garrideb never gets out before the cleaning folks arrive.”
“Yeah, you’re right about that,” said Frank, smiling. “Is he busy?”
“He has someone in his office. I didn’t see who; they must have come in while I was at the copier. But you can hang out and wait if you like.”
“I think we will,” said Frank, smiling at Victoria as she left.
John and Frank took seats near Victoria’s desk, positioning themselves so they could see when Jack finished his meeting and opened the door. They took the time available to review their material on Dave and strategize how they were going to inform Jack.
Given what they now knew about Dave, there were few options. In fact, they saw only one. They agreed on what each would say, and Frank took notes.
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Twenty minutes went by. Occasional sounds of laughter came from Jack’s office. Frank and John smiled at each other, remembering the first time they heard Jack’s laugh at a company function. Their attention then turned back to the door and the meeting they were waiting for.
Jack’s voice got louder as he had risen from behind his desk and was approaching the door to let his visitor out. Frank and John collected their notes and rose. “So we’ll have that drink another time, right?” asked Jack, heftily patting his visitor on the back.
“You bet,” said Dave, shaking Jack’s hand vigorously, and turning to walk out of the office.
It was one of the slow motion, car crash moments when their eyes met Dave’s. Frank and John stood mute, barely keeping their mouths from dropping open. Dave paused, smiled broadly, and with a twinkle in his eyes said, “Hi, guys, always good to see you,” before he walked past them out toward the corridor.
Ellyn carried her daughter up the three flights of stairs to her apartment. The little one was asleep after a long day in her mother’s arms.
Kicking the door closed behind her, Ellyn went directly to the bed-room, put her daughter in the crib, and kissed her on her forehead.
Returning to the kitchen, she filled the teapot with water, turned on the gas, and sighed. The door opened and her mother came in.
“Shhhh, she’s asleep,” Ellyn warned. “I’m making some tea for us.”
Mom took off her old blue coat and hung it on the peg behind the front door.
They sat at the kitchen table, drinking tea and chatting excitedly about the day. “Good haul,” said Ellyn, pulling a roll of bills from her shirt pocket and dropping it in the middle of the kitchen table.
“Impressive,” said Mom, smiling. Together, they started to sort the money into piles. Most were singles, but there were a lot of fives and tens as well.
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Hearing the sound of a key in the lock, Ellyn got up to open the door. “Hey, baby,” said Mark, her husband, kissing her as he entered.
Mark carried the folding card table into their apartment and leaned it against the counter. He took the playing cards from his shirt pocket and placed them on the counter with his keys. “How’d we do?” he asked, eyeing the pile of money on the table.
“I think we might have beat you today,” she said as the women laughed. “Mom deserves an Academy Award! You should have seen her on Forty-third. One old lady had tears in her eyes as she handed me this!” Ellyn picked up the fifty-dollar bill and waved it in Mark’s face.
“Great job, Mom,” he said, kissing his mother-in-law on the forehead. “Usually it’s only the ‘suits’ who give us a fifty!”
Mom rose slightly and took a mock bow as Mark and Ellyn ap-plauded. “Oh, shhhh, she’s asleep,” warned Ellyn, remembering their young daughter in the next room.
“Well, I did pretty well myself,” bragged Mark, taking a huge roll of singles from his backpack and adding it to the table. “Where would we be without people’s greed?” he joked, grabbing a beer from the fridge and taking a seat.
“And guilt,” added Mom, sipping her tea, a Cheshire cat smile on her lips.
“Lots of tourists today. And the heat wasn’t bad either,” he said, commenting on the absence of cops most of the day.