Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work (40 page)

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them to differences in understanding about objectives. Take advantage of this opportunity if it is made available to you. But remember to keep your self-evaluation focused, balanced, accurate, and suc-cinct. This is also a good time to reflect on your developmental needs, and be open to hearing about them during your review.

When you receive your performance review (face to face is best) you will be better prepared to participate in the discussion if you have carefully reviewed your own performance. During the review meeting, you should ask questions about points you do not understand, correct misunderstandings, and, of course, take notes.

A well-written review should contain few generalities (such as

“John is a poor performer,” or “John is a team player”). Instead, it should contain specific behaviors that can be repeated (if positive) or changed (if negative), such as “John handed in the report three weeks late” or “John’s status reports at team meetings were always accurate.” If something on your review is not clear, ask your boss to give you actual examples of any incidents or behaviors that are mentioned. To the degree that your review is an accurate reflection of your true performance, the official record will better support your reputation for being competent and loyal.

Some performance reviews allow the employee to add written comments or submit an addendum for inclusion in the personnel file.

Even if your review is outstanding, you should add a note. If your review contains inaccuracies, and your boss does not want to modify the final document, then this may be your only chance to correct the record. Do not write something in haste. Instead, carefully write down your view of the events in question. Make sure your note is professional and without emotion or inflammatory language. You may wish to have a friend read it and offer suggestions for improvement before you send it to human resources. Should your performance, reputation, or credibility ever be called into question, your performance reviews are the record the company will turn to first.

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4. AVOID CONFRONTATIONS

Having a blowout with your boss in public is never a good idea; taking on a psychopath can only lead to disaster. Psychopaths will set you up to explode—by pushing your hot buttons—when it suits their purpose. Do not take the bait. As hard as it may be, you should always remain cool and calm when being attacked, however unfairly.

We are not suggesting that you be submissive, but rather that you rely on your strengths—through assertiveness, not aggressiveness—

when confronted. The safest, although not always practical, position is to minimize or avoid all contact with a boss you believe to be a psychopath. When you must interact, make sure there are others in the area that can witness your calm, professional stance and the psychopath’s ranting. Then document the interaction in your date book in accurate, unemotional terms.

Psychopaths will sometimes berate their subordinates in front of their superiors to demonstrate their own “leadership.” Because they are uninformed about true leadership, they think that this will help their careers; in most cases, it does not. Seasoned executives know that berating subordinates in public, especially during management meetings, is bad management. It shows them that the boss is not in control of him- or herself or the situation, and this sign of weakness is not lost on those higher up. However, you should never get angry and retaliate against your boss (that is, take the bait) in these situations. Rather, defend your decisions, judgments, or results by stating the facts. If you are in the wrong, admit it, apologize, and ask to be allowed to try again. If others are clearly at fault (for example, another department did not deliver material on time), mention it but do not come across as shifting blame to others. Make sure to note that you made every effort within your power (including asking for your boss’s help) to achieve the goal or objective. To the best of your ability, you should come across as competent and loyal, even to the boss who just berated you in public.

Psychopaths, especially the bullying kind, seem to enjoy dressing
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down subordinates in the privacy of their own offices. This is an especially difficult situation to handle. These confrontations are meant to establish or reestablish the psychopath’s dominance over you.

During these “meetings,” you should calmly state the facts as you know them (again, assertively, not aggressively). If you are clearly in the wrong, then you should not shift the blame.

You should also take good notes of what your boss says. Some nonpsychopathic bosses and many psychopathic ones will use profanity. Many corporations do not tolerate this form of verbal abuse; it is almost never appropriate, except perhaps when someone is about to do something dangerous on the job (for example, push the wrong button on a nuclear reactor). In the majority of cases, however, the use of profane language works against the speaker, and it should be noted verbatim in your date book, for future reference.

If you truly believe that you are in a meeting with a psychopath, then your only tactic is to take it. It is rarely, perhaps never, advisable to walk off the job. If the psychopath has targeted you as a rival or a threat, then this plays into his hands. It may be better to get out of the meeting and regroup.

5. MAKING A FORMAL COMPLAINT

Before you make a formal complaint, you should assess your situation very carefully. What is the perception of your boss in the company; what is his or her reputation? Is he or she seen as competent and loyal? Is he or she well connected in the power hierarchy? Recall that the industrial psychopath has established a psychopathic fiction in the minds of those in power: I am the ideal leader. Understand and anticipate that the psychopath has already disparaged your reputation in the eyes of those same people: John is incompetent, disloyal, and a complainer. Now, consider your options. You may have to accept the fact that you cannot prevail in this situation.

You may find that your organization has provisions for employees bringing issues to the attention of human resources or upper
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management. Read and understand these procedures carefully, and weigh them against the abuse you have received. Some companies have anonymous hotlines or tip lines that employees are encouraged to call should they witness any illegal (such as stealing company funds or lying on production records) or abusive behavior (such as sexual harassment or bullying). Learn more about these options and the proper way to take advantage of them should the need arise for you to make a report.

Confidentiality is an important part of organizational life. But it is important to understand that you may not be afforded confidentiality should you complain about your boss or coworker. If you feel threatened or fear retribution, you should make your report anonymously; you can always come forward later if you choose. However, keep in mind that some companies do not place much credence on anonymous complaints, considering them rumors or hearsay; your complaint may go unheard in these cases. Sometimes it takes multiple complaints about the same boss to get any attention.

It is also important to understand that just because you complain, the company need not take action, or the action they take may not be what you expected. You should be prepared for the fact that the company has put trust in the boss’s supervisory judgment. It will take a lot to change this. If you are dealing with a psychopath, he or she may be better entrenched than you think. Your complaint may bring to the surface a history of your own poor performance or disloyalty, as carefully and consistently created by your psychopathic boss. You may end up losing your own job in the process.

6. LEAVE ON YOUR OWN TERMS

In the days of the psychological contract, employees expected to have jobs for life, or at least until retirement. Times have changed and so should your approach to employment. It is wise to always have an up-to-date résumé, with a list of your completed projects, achievements, and performance reviews on hand. It is your security
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blanket. It might be fruitful to check the local newspapers or the Internet occasionally for openings elsewhere. You do not have to be actively looking or even thinking of leaving; this is just good career management.

If you are truly working for a psychopathic boss, your only re-course may be to distance yourself by applying for a transfer or, in the worst case, leaving the company. Many companies have job-posting bulletin boards on which positions in other departments and locations are advertised. Learn about the posting process and take advantage of it early. Should you apply for an internal transfer, keep in mind that the hiring manager will read your past performance reviews and seek a reference from your boss. It behooves you to try to maintain a good relationship with your boss—psychopath or not—

for the length of your tenure. You may be surprised that your psychopathic boss may help you get the new job, especially if it is seen as an easy way to take care of a rival or threat. If you worked on in-terdepartmental teams, you should ask individuals from other areas to be internal references. If you received commendations for doing a good job, for instance, an employee of the month award or a gain-share award, make sure these are in your personnel file. When you weigh your options—and only you know how you feel about your situation—you may opt for a lateral move rather than wait for a promotional position. If you have taken courses in a new field—for example, you currently work in the accounting department but are working toward a master’s degree in marketing—then a junior-level position in the marketing department may be a good choice for you as well as for the company. The key is to keep your options open at all times and be attuned to changes in the perception others have of you because of the machinations of your boss.

There may come a time when you decide that the best course of action is to leave your employer. Because this decision concerns your spouse and family as well, make sure all bases are covered before you act. The ideal situation is to already have a new job lined up before you announce your intent to leave.

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If you are asked to leave, then it is important that you understand the benefits due you at your termination. Things like termination pay, health insurance coverage, unemployment insurance, accrued vacation, and sick time pay may be due you. Your human resources representative has the responsibility to apprise you of these things.

You may be given the opportunity to resign, or you may ask for this opportunity, because having been fired can be problematic down your career road. You will most likely be asked to sign a release form in that event. It is wise to seek legal counsel before you sign anything so you fully understand what you are agreeing to.

You may be asked to give your reasons for leaving, usually during an exit interview. Here you must use good judgment, and seeking the advice of legal counsel is not out of the question. It is always appropriate to state “personal reasons” and leave it at that. But you may feel the need to apprise the company of the difficulties you have had with your boss. You may find that they already know about his or her behavior; they may even offer you an incentive to stay if they realize that you have been competent and loyal and an asset to the company (do not count on this, however). Always leave on good terms; do not burn any bridges.

7. GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE AND YOUR CAREER

Once you are out of the grips of the psychopathic relationship, you will feel many things, some of which were described earlier. Most of all you will feel relief, as if some great burden has been taken off your back. Put your previous job and the psychopath behind you.

Seek counseling if you need to, but move on with your life. Consider the experience as one of life’s hard lessons and take on your new job with enthusiasm and eyes wide open.

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Handling a “Psychopathic” Coworker

You may be working with a psychopath in the next cubicle and never know it. However, you may have suspicions based on how he behaves toward you or others. Whether or not you choose to do something is largely a function of the nature of the interactions you have with him.

Clearly, all the suggestions noted above on handling a psychopathic boss apply to this situation as well. To protect yourself, make sure you invest energy in managing your own reputation, build open and honest relationships with peers and your boss, work up to your abilities, and follow applicable policies and procedures. Be sensitive to and resist manipulation attempts, such as those described in earlier chapters of this book.

Try to keep your distance from psychopaths. However, if you are required to work closely with them, avoid doing their work for them, and resist their attempt to get you to hide their own poor performance. These forms of collusion are quite common and will be used against you should a psychopath decide you are no longer useful to his or her career. And, above all, do not confront the coworker you believe to be a psychopath.

1. DO NOT LABEL A COWORKER A “PSYCHOPATH”

Avoid labeling a coworker a “psychopath.” It will get you nowhere and may lead to those in authority wondering about you. Psychopathy itself is not illegal, despite the problems it causes for those around individuals with these traits. Behavior, however, can be illegal, unethical, hurtful, and so forth. It is paramount that you focus on the actual behavior of the individual whom you believe to be a psychopath. Observe it, document it, and if you are intimidated or feel that you are in danger, bring it to the attention of those in authority or, at least, someone you trust.

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