Something Like Fate (2 page)

“You love it. Now read.”

Blake reads. “‘Hiding behind your protective layer is wearing you down. With the moon in dramatic Leo, you’re inspired to launch a personal crusade to support your future ambitions. Keep your eye on the prize and continue handling unrewarding arrangements with calm determination. When the dust settles, you will prevail in a domestic or personal transaction.’”

I’m like, “Now what have we learned?”

“Hmph.” I can tell Blake is fighting it. He has to admit there’s something legit going on here.

“Doesn’t it make you feel better about things?”

“I’m not particularly motivated to go out and launch a personal crusade yet. Maybe this applies to a year from now?”

“It can be for whenever you want.”

“Let’s ask Magic 8 Ball,” Blake says. I have a special glittery Magic 8 Ball. We always consult it for matters of importance. “Is it time for me to launch a personal crusade?” he asks. Then he shakes Magic 8 Ball and turns it over. “‘My sources say no.’”

“It does
not
say that!”

“Yuh-huh!” Blake shoves Magic 8 Ball at me.

“Okay, well . . . like I said, it can be for whenever.”

I just hope that whenever gets here soon. Blake should be living the life he wants.

“Who’s the boy?” I ask.

“What boy?” she goes. I don’t know why she bothers pretending. She knows I know there’s a boy. I can always tell.

I’m like, “The boy you’re in love with.”

Now that Erin’s scored the glossy new Beetle convertible she’s been lusting after forever (in heaven blue, which is a seriously sweet color), I don’t have to wait for Mom to pick me up after school. I love the feeling of riding home with Erin, like we’re totally free, like we can go anywhere. Her Beetle gets about twenty-four miles per gallon. This could be better, so I only partially approve of its efficiency. But I absolutely approve of the cute flower holder, which I keep filled with flowers from my garden.

Since Erin got her car, she’s been great about driving me home. Everything’s so spread out in our town. Some people take walks, but just when they feel like walking. They don’t actually get anywhere. I’ll ride my bike to go somewhere nearby, but you need a car to get anywhere real. When Erin gives me a ride home, it takes her all this extra time to go from my house to hers. Good thing she’s so into her car. Any excuse to drive it works for her.

“There’s no boy,” Erin says. She has this secret smile and faraway eyes. It’s obvious there’s a boy.

“Oh,” I say, “there’s a boy.”

“Well.” More faraway eyes. “There
might
be a boy.”

“If there was a boy, what would his name be?”

“Jason.”

I’ve had a few classes with Jason, but I’ve never really talked to him. He’s in Erin’s multimedia elective. She was lusting after him so hard when spring semester started, but she couldn’t figure out what to do about it. Then they got put together for a group project and started talking.

Actually, they were talking a little before that. They have a big group of mutual friends. I call it the Golden Circle. It’s the same group I used to be in, but that was before it absorbed Jason and some other kids I don’t really know. I’d still be part of that group if I were the same joiner I used to be. Oh, and if Bianca didn’t have that tizzy fit last year.

I don’t know what her problem was. I guess she noticed that I was gradually drifting away from everyone. It wasn’t like a conscious decision or anything. I just didn’t feel like doing as much group stuff anymore. Especially since it felt like the same parties at the same houses with the same hundred people. My connections with them started to seem so superficial.

Bianca took offense.

“Why are you being like this?” she went. A bunch of us were hanging out after school at Green Pond, just goofing off and wasting time. I was getting bored. I found a big rock jutting out over the pond and went to sit there alone. Bianca followed me.

“Being like what?” I asked.

“You’re acting like you’re better than us.”

“No I’m not.”

“Then why didn’t you come out with us last weekend?”

“I just didn’t feel like it.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t realize it was a required activity.” I had no idea why Bianca was harassing me. She was getting more annoying every day.

Bianca was all, “Since when don’t you feel like hanging out with your friends?”

“It’s not like that. I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, but are you having a good time?”

“Where is all this coming from? Did I do something?”

“You think you’re too good to be around people who aren’t activists or whatever.”

“No I don’t!”

“Just because we’re not out saving the environment doesn’t mean we’re losers,” Bianca huffed. “We do a lot for the school, you know.”

The Golden Kids have a reputation for being friendly and helpful. They do a zillion school activities. They’ve completely taken over the student council. A few of them mentor at the middle school, which Erin’s been thinking about doing. They’re all popular, but not crazy popular like the jocks. They’re sort of all the kids who are lucky enough to have both decent looks and decent home lives. Which means they also have a decent amount of money to play with. I’d rather have my parents save money to help me with college, so I’m not into the Golden Kids’ materialistic ways.

But it makes sense that Erin’s still friends with them. She loves volunteering, especially with little kids. Erin was a candy striper in the pediatric ward at the hospital for a long time. She’s the best babysitter. She even has a bag of tricks that she brings over when she babysits. She’s completely not embarrassed to still like all the fun stuff we were into when we were eight. Kids love Erin as much as she loves them.

Anyway. After that confrontation with Bianca, I basically stopped doing stuff with the group, except for Erin. I’d still talk to everyone if they talked to me, but after a while they stopped.

It’s interesting how you can know someone for a long time, and then one day you just see them in this whole different way. That’s clearly what happened to Erin with Jason.

“I think he likes me,” Erin gushes.

“Cool.”

“Everyone’s been pushing us to get together, so they must have a reason.”

“Maybe he told someone he likes you and now they all know.”

“You think so?”

“Totally.”

“Of course we got put together for multimedia. The Energy is bringing us together.”

I definitely believe everything happens for a reason. I’m just not sure I believe Erin’s reason for why she got put with Jason.

Erin’s all, “Jason stayed after yesterday to ask me about something he totally could have found out from anyone. But he asked
me
!”

“Because he obviously likes you.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Why else would he ask you?”

“I know!” Erin’s cheeks get pink. “He is
so
cute.”

“Yeah.”

“You think he’s cute?” Erin thinks I can get any boy I want. She’s seriously delusional. The boys who approach me are usually obnoxious types who dedicate their lives to picking on anyone even remotely different from them. Like that’s attractive.

Erin knows that we could never be interested in the same boy. Not that I’d ever go after him if I were. But it would be impossible for me to like a boy she likes. We have totally different types.

I go, “He’s cute for you, I mean.”

“Really?”

“Totally.”

“All signs point to us being together. I had a dream where I was eating this huge ice-cream cone. You know what ice cream represents?”

We always interpret our dreams. Erin believes that symbolism in dreams foretells the future. I’m more into the kind of dream analysis where you interpret how the symbolism relates to your current situation.

We’re both obsessed with fate. Anything that helps us make sense of this life is fascinating. At the beginning of the year we made a chart. The chart has topics related to fate that we want to know more about. Each topic has its own month. During that month, we learn as much as we can and have these intense discussions about everything we find out. By the end of this year, we’ll be experts on fate.

Here’s our chart:

Even though we were just learning about dream analysis, I can’t remember what ice cream represents. Or if I even learned that one. It’s impossible to memorize the meanings of more than a few symbols. We decided that the key to dream analysis is checking a reliable website or book after every dream.

“I don’t remember that one,” I go.

“It symbolizes compensating for lack of contentment and foretells that the best is yet to come. Oh! The ice cream was this rusty orange color? And the next day Jason was wearing a shirt that exact same color!”

“Get out.”

“Well, it was almost the same color.” Erin tells me more about Jason and how she thinks he likes her but how she doesn’t know for sure so she’s going to wait and see if he asks her out.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” she wants to know.

“Yeah. Or you could always initiate things.”

“But isn’t it better to wait for him to ask me out?”

“It is, but don’t wait too long. What if he asks someone else out because he doesn’t know you like him?”

“If he likes me, he shouldn’t be asking anyone else out!”

“I know. I’m just saying if he doesn’t do anything soon, you might want to.”

If we weren’t so close, I might be jealous that Erin has a boy to like and I don’t. But I just feel happy for her. Erin and I are bonded for life. Being bonded for life isn’t the same as being best friends. I mean, we’re best friends, but it goes way beyond that. What do you call it when two people have an intense shared history? When nothing can ever separate them? Soul sisters. That’s what we’ve been ever since the accident.

Except lately I can feel things changing. It’s like we’re growing apart or something. The weird thing is, this somehow happened when I wasn’t looking. There’s not really any one thing I can say is the reason we’re drifting. Maybe that’s just what happens when you grow up. My parents hardly know anyone they went to high school with. How is that possible? Do you graduate and then just let your friends fade away? Even when they seem like your whole world?

I know that won’t happen with Erin. I love being so close to another person, knowing that our connection will always be there. It makes me feel safe. Only . . . if I were going to be really honest with myself, I would have to admit that we’re not the same Erin and Lani we were before. I can’t tell how much of our connection is because of the things we still have in common or the one thing that bonds us for life.

But no matter what happens, I know I can totally count on Erin for anything. And she knows I’d do anything for her.

I’m trying not
to spill more paint. So far, I’ve made five signs and spilled blue paint on my floor. At least my house has hardwood floors, so it wasn’t impossible to clean up.

To make this sign for the cafeteria recycling bins, I’m using bold colors and big letters. I’m also putting on glitter and outlining the letters in metallic markers. I want to make it impossible for people not to notice the bin labeled BOTTLES & CANS. I’m so over kids using the tired excuse that they didn’t see the sign every time they throw their water bottles in the garbage can. With my new signs, no one will have an excuse not to recycle.

Marnie and Bianca were supposed to help me make the signs, but they canceled at the last minute. I wish they weren’t in our club. It’s so obvious they’re just using it to put on their college apps. Danielle came over for a few hours, though. We became really good friends after I broke away from the Golden Circle. These days I have more in common with Danielle than Erin. She’s the only other person at school who cares as much about saving the planet as I do.

I’m president of One World, our school’s environmental club. A junior gets to be president for two years, so at the end of next year we’ll vote for a new president. I guess you could say my love for Earth is genetic. My mom’s an environmental-health specialist and my dad builds greenhouses. They obviously have the environmental thing in common, but Mom is fifteen years younger than Dad. So that’s where the similarity ends. Dad’s ultimate night involves sitting at home working on a crossword puzzle or reading a mystery novel. Mom’s all about the social life. She loves meeting new people and getting the word out about green living. We even have an organic garden in our backyard. Mom sells vegetables from it at the green market every summer.

Everyone in town knows my mom. We live in one of those small New Jersey towns that’s close to a lot of other small New Jersey towns called things like Tranquility and Peapack and Glad-stone. Everyone tends to know everyone else in towns like these. So my friends are used to Mom’s house rules. When they come over, they always turn off the lights when they leave a room. They never let the water run when they’re not using it. We also have to unplug the TV and computer when we’re done with them, because when they’re left plugged in they still use electricity, even when they’re turned off.