Something Worth Fighting For (16 page)

“You don’t bother me, I would tell you if you did.” I batted my eyelashes at him.

“I don’t doubt that for a second actually.” Atlas kissed the back of my hand.

“When is the wedding?” Felix teased.

“Whenever she finally says yes.” Atlas said seriously.

“Not until I finish college. Then it’ll be when he has a serious proposal.”

“You’ve proposed?” Felix grinned at his son.

“At least a dozen times.” Atlas sighed dramatically. Felix laughed loudly as we walked through the kitchen.

“I hate to tell you but you are definitely my son. I proposed to Dromy about a week after we met. Then at least once a week until she said yes.”

“I get it honestly then.” Atlas said to me, pointing at his father. “Great house.”

“Yeah,” Felix looked around with sadness in his eyes. The silence fell heavy around us. “I have something for you.”

“Oh, okay.” Atlas said hesitantly as Felix left us in the kitchen.

“It’s going better than I thought it would.” I admitted.

“Yeah, it’s going well, thank you.” Atlas pressed his forehead to mine.

“Stop thanking me. I’d do anything for you.”

“Marry me.”

“Not yet.”

Atlas groaned, planting a sloppy kiss on my forehead. “I know, I know, May.” I nodded smiling up at him as Felix came back with a small box.

“You can open it when you get back to your mother’s.” He said handing it over to Atlas.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I hope it brings some clarity or hell, anything.” Felix and Atlas both grabbed their chins at the same time, the small action made me smile.

“We should probably get going. I told Ma we would help her get ready for tomorrow.”

“Of course, what time should I expect you guys?”

Atlas looked to me. “Don’t look at me, I’m just here for decoration.” Both men shook their heads laughing at me..

“Three?” Atlas suggested.

“Three sounds great.” Felix walked me to the door as Atlas went for his hat. “Ellie, thank you.” He turned hugging me. “I am sure you had something to do with getting my boy here. I can’t thank you enough for that.”

“You’re very welcome, sir. He wants so badly for you to be proud of him. He is an amazing man and I am so lucky to have him. You are too, so let him know that. Don’t mess this up again. I’m not sure I can perform too many miracles.” I squeezed his forearm gently as Atlas came to the door. “I’m going to give you two a minute. I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Ryker.” Blowing Atlas a kiss I walked out to the truck.

From where I was standing I couldn’t hear their conversation. No matter how hard I tried. Atlas was nodding, staring at the ground. Not something I was used to seeing such a confident man doing. Felix reached out to shake his hand but Atlas surprised us both by throwing his arms around him. There were tears in Felix’s eyes as he gripped Atlas tightly, fingers digging into his back. I had to look away, wiping my own watering eyes.

Atlas had come back to the truck looking on the brink of tears. “What did he say?” I asked once we were on our way back to Andy’s. He took a sudden turn and parked the truck on the side of a dirt road.

Atlas leaned forward, his forehead against the steering wheel as he began to cry. My chest physically ached as his shoulders moved every time he choked out another silent sob. Unbuckling myself, I pushed his shoulders back and crawled into his lap. He immediately clung to me.

“It’s my turn, I got ya’, Cowboy.” I whispered, wrapping my hand around the back of his neck, holding him in the crook of my neck. “You did so good. I’m so proud of you.” I kissed the side of his head. “You did it, baby.”

“I-- I’m sorry.” He stuttered quietly.

“No, no, no. Don’t be sorry.” I lifted his face planting kisses across his forehead, over his eyes, down his cheeks, tasting the salt of his tears.

We didn’t say much else, I held him while he cried. For the pissed off teenage boy who needed his father, for the little boy he became a father figure to, for forgiveness, acceptance, and finally hearing just what he needed to hear.

Just as he said Atlas took me to dinner and around the downtown square that night. It was perfect description of old town charm. I had fallen in love with it when we came to surprise Andy but all lit up at night with the twinkling of Christmas lights, it was magical.

Atlas hadn’t said anything more about what Felix had told him and I didn’t ask. I knew he would tell me all in time. He had put the box on the nightstand as we showered and changed for the night. Neither of us had touched it; I think he was a little afraid to.

When I came out of the bathroom in my pajamas Atlas was sitting on the bed spinning the box in his hands. “I was waiting for you.”

“I know, for twenty five years.” I smiled sweetly at him as I climbed in bed.

“And every life before.”

“Good answer,” I bumped his shoulder, “We going to open it?”

“You do it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Atlas slid the box to me.

“What if it’s a bomb?” I teased.

“I would jump on it.” He replied flatly.

“Would you if-- no, not going there.” I waved my hand fighting off the thought. “Lets open it!” I pulled the middle of the folded sides, peeking in.

“What is it?” Atlas looked over my shoulder.

My hand went over my mouth, trying hard to fight off tears. “Birthday, Christmas, graduations cards, letters... Your dad, aunt, grandparents, uncles...” I lifted out dozen of envelopes onto the bed. “There’s at least fifty cards here.” I turned over the box letting the rest fall out.

“Damn,” Atlas said softly picking one up. “Lets open them.” We sat together laughing, me crying, and both of us stacking up piles of money. Each card held at least one hundred dollars and the ones from his father had five. “Well it looks like I can buy that ring now.” Atlas grinned at me.

“Don’t you dare spend your money on me.”

“It’s my money I’ll do whatever I want with it.”

“Don’t make me hurt you.”

“You think you’re bad enough?”

“Oh I know I am.”

“Bring it, Ginger.” Atlas stood up on the bed, arms crossed across his chest. “But you better catch me first.” He jumped off the bed, yanking the door open, and took off running out of the room.

“Oh hell no!” I scrambled over the bed, dashing off after him.

“Keep up, Ginger!”

“Keep talking and see what happens.”

“I’m not scared.” He ran around one side of the couch then into the kitchen. I lept over Ares laying in the middle of the living room floor and followed after Atlas.

“Be careful you two!” Andy chastised us as I chased Atlas around the island.

“Yes Ma,” we said together. Atlas spun around on me, effortlessly picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder.

“Atlas Quinn put me down.” I kicked my legs, squealing.

“No can do, Penelope Noelle.” He swatted my pajama clad backside.

“Penelope?” Andy smiled.

“Yeah, Ellie is short for Noelle, Penelope is her first name.”

“If I had a daughter I would have named her Penelope.” Andy said with a wistful smile.

“See, that’s destiny. Now if you would just say yes.” Atlas grabbed my inner thigh, tickling me. I squirmed in his hold, howling with laughter.

“Do we have to have this discussion while my ass is up in the air?” I scowled, pinching the back of his arm.

“Ouch!” Atlas smacked my butt again. “Violent little firecracker.”

“I’ll be civil when my feet are on the floor.”

“Hm...” Atlas saluted his mother and turned on his heel marching back to his room. “Feisty thing.” He said, his pronounced Texan accent making me laugh.

“Yes I am.”

Atlas picked up the money and put it on the nightstand then tossed me on the bed. With one knee on either side of my thighs and his hands by my head, he leaned down kissing me butterfly soft. I was aching for more.

“I love you, Ellie.” Atlas pressed his forehead to mine. “So much it hurts. I’ve learned so much about you and about me these last two days. You helped me do that. I appreciate you pushing me to do it. I appreciate you. When...” He took a deep breathing burying his face in my chest. “When we left he told me he was sorry for leaving, for hurting all of us. He said he acted selfish and screwed up the best thing he ever had. He had no idea about me or what I do but he is impressed by the man I turned out to be.”

“He should be.” I closed my arms around him, rubbing his back.

“He said he’s proud of me. That he has to get one of those “My son is a Marine” stickers to put on his Beamer.” Atlas’ laughter was muffled in my skin. “He said he’d never graffiti his car that way but he will for that even though I think they’re kind of lame. He told me he loves me.”

“Of course he does, Atlas. Someone would be a damn fool not to love you.”

“I’m glad you think so.” He tilted his head, pressing his lips to my neck. “I always thought that if I forgave him I would be betraying Ma. I knew she forgave him but that didn’t mean I could. I saw how much it hurts you not having your mom in your life. My dad wanted to see me. That’s what made the difference, you did.”

I couldn’t find any words. Part of me was happy for Atlas and the other was jealous. For the mother who didn’t want me. The mother that blamed me and called me a liar when I needed her the most.

“Stop thinking about her.” Atlas whispered in my ear.

“How did you know?”

“You get the saddest look in your eyes and I hate that look.”

“Sorry,” I felt the corner of my mouth jerk up in a half smile.

“Don’t be. We’re going to count this money, think crazy, and go watch some TV with my brother.” Atlas rolled off of me and pulled me up. Handing me a stack of bills we each began silently counting.

“What do you have?” I picked up the stack of bills, wide eyed.

“Five thousand and forty. You?”

“Six thousand seven hundred and sixty.”

“Nearly twelve thousand dollars.” Atlas said in disbelief.

“That’s insane.” I shook my head as he tucked the money into his bag.

“It’ll go into savings.”

“Good place for it.”

“With what I already have it’s a good down payment for a house one day.” Atlas gave me a small smile, searching my face for my reaction.

“With my savings it should be no problem.”

“Next summer?”

“Yeah, next summer.” I leaned over the bed, kissing him.

“Lets go watch a movie with doofus.”

“Lets.”

❋❋❋

Between Atlas’ grandparents, aunt, uncles, cousins, and everyone else I had been thoroughly hugged, kissed, and questioned. His grandmother had cried when she saw him and I had to look the other way so I wouldn’t join her. He was turning me into a sap.

I was seated between Atlas and his grandfather. He was well into his eighties with sagging skin and a contagious laugh. Him and Atlas bickered over whether or not Cookie, (which apparently was his nickname because according to him he was just so sweet), we're going to run away together. Atlas threatened to hunt him down if we did all the while winking at me.

Around 2:30 Atlas announced we were leaving and most everyone assured us they would still be here when we got back. I excused myself to fix my makeup and brush my teeth.

“You’re beautiful.” Atlas wrapped his arms around my waist.

“You have to say that.” I pulled at my black blazer, adjusting the fit.

“I mean it.” He kissed behind my ear, looking at me in the mirror.

“I’m glad you think so.” I offered him a small smile as he pulled me out of the bathroom.

“Everyone thinks so, especially Cookie.”

“He’s so charming, you better watch out.”

“Hm... I’m going to keep an eye on him.” Atlas helped me into the truck, scowling at my four inch heels. “These shoes are impractical.”

“You’re six foot five, I’m five foot one, give a short girl a break.” I stuck my tongue out at him as he shut my door. “Besides, they’re hot.”

“Yes, yes they are.” Atlas’ eyes roamed over me appreciatively.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Which one?” He gave me a smug smile as he pulled out of the driveway.

“Either? Both.” I answered boldly causing him to smile wider. The mischievous look in his eyes had me curious.

“The one on my shoulders thinks you look hot. The one in my pants wants to see you in nothing but those heels.”

“That could be arranged.”

“What?” Atlas jerked his head in my direction.

“Watch the road!”

“Don’t tease me.”

Not knowing what came over me I lifted my hips, unbuttoning my slacks, starting to slide them down my hips. Atlas pulled the truck down the county road that led to his father’s house, throwing it into park on the side of the road. In fluid movements he had me unbuckled and in his lap.

“Do you know how sexy you are?” Atlas ran his fingertips along the soft exposed skin below my waist. My voice was caught in my throat. All boldness had evaporated at his touch. Atlas’ breath was against my neck. “You make it so hard to keep my hands to myself.” His lips grazed my collarbone, goose bumps spreading across my skin. “I want you so bad it hurts.” A kiss on my throat. “Every second,” a kiss on the other side of my neck, “of every day,” a kiss on my chest, “all of you,” a kiss between my breasts.

“So why haven’t you?” I asked in a raspy voice. The question caused, much to my dismay, the trail of kisses he was laying on me.

“I...” His face was strained. “I’m not sure.”

“Well I’m not against it if that’s what you’re afraid of.”

“I thought that maybe since... well... ya’ know...”

“You thought that since I was almost raped I had no interest.” I said bluntly with a knot in my stomach.

“Something like that.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“How so?” I scowled climbing back into my seat, fastening the buttons back on my slacks. “What? How’s that ridiculous, Ellie?” Atlas turned in his seat to look at me.

“It just is.” I threw my hands in the air, exasperated.

“How?” Atlas pushed.

“Because I know you’re not him!” I shouted. “I haven’t so much as looked at anything with a penis since Spencer.” His name made me want to gag. “But you make it okay, better. Because I firmly believe you’re the only person that can give me, me back.” My voice fell as I looked out the window.

“I-- I didn’t know that.” Atlas’ own voice was quiet. “What did
you
think?” He reached over brushing my hair over my shoulder. Shaking my head, I didn’t respond. “Ellie what did you think?”

“I can’t say it.”

“Why not?”

“It’s...”

“Yes?”

“Embarrassing.” I sighed.

“Embarrassing.” Atlas repeated.

“Yes.”

“Tell me.”

“No.”

“Ellie.” He growled.

“Atlas.” I countered.

“Tell me.” He insisted. “Tell me, Ellie.”

“I thought you didn’t want me, okay?”

“What?!” Atlas bellowed.

“Like
that.
” I emphasized.

Atlas looked at me wide eyed, mouth hanging open. His stare was unnerving. A mix between shock and anger. His jaw clenched as he gathered his composure. “You thought I wasn’t... That I didn’t want you sexually.” He said with a surprisingly even tone.

I nodded not knowing what to say.

“That is just ridiculous.” Atlas leaned back into his seat, gripping the steering wheel tight enough to turn his knuckles white. “Baby, I want you more than I know how to express. Any man would be an idiot not to want you.”

“I thought you were just saying it that maybe you really didn’t. I don’t want just any man to want me.”

“I know that, Ellie.”

“Lets just go.”

“No I’m not leaving until I know everything is good between us.” Atlas reached over grabbing my hand.

“We’re good.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes Atlas,” I laughed, “Just because I act like an over sensitive, low self esteem, emotional girl doesn’t mean we’re not okay.”

“Well if you say so...” Atlas started the truck pulling back onto the road. “I can’t believe you thought I didn’t want you.” He snickered.

“How’s a girl supposed to know if you don’t tell her?” I defended myself. “I’m not a mind reader.”

“I’m male? You have more curves than a mountain road. You don’t see the way guys stare when you walk by do you?”

“No,” I answered honestly.

“Trust me there are been more than once I’ve wanted to kill a man for looking at you.”