“Okay, that’s all,” Dean Big Sister Nina said, and stretched her legs and crossed her arms. “Number two, you can go and pick up the microphones now.”
Cajen put her notebook and pen in her backpack. As soon as she walked out of the auditorium and into the lobby of the building, she saw Jason talking to a girl. Her heart stopped. She panicked. She didn’t know what to do. Should I talk to him now? Who is that girl? What do I do? The questions raced through her mind. Overwhelmed and unsure, she stopped dead in her tracks.
Jason looked up and saw Cajen. He was glad to see her because Gina was talking her head off about nothing and he didn’t want to be rude and cut the conversation short. Now he had an excuse—Cajen.
Gina, who was cued earlier to look for Cajen, knew she was supposed to stop the conversation when she saw her walking out of the door of the auditorium. So she told Jason that she’d talk to him later. He said okay and turned and waved to Cajen.
He has some nerve. And why is he waving at me? He hasn’t returned any of my phone calls. I don’t believe this jerk, she thought.
“Hey, Cajen,” Jason said, with a fake wide grin.
She looked over her shoulder to make sure none of her big sisters was coming through the door, and then walked over to him.
“Cajen, I’m sorry I haven’t returned any of your calls,” he said in a deep, mellow voice. Then he contradicted himself. “Actually, I did try to call back, several times,” he explained. Then he went into some story about hearing that one year some big sisters went into a pledge’s room and listened to her messages on her answering machine, and she got into trouble because of a message her boyfriend left. He assured her that he didn’t want to get her into the same kind of trouble if something like that happened.
Cajen refused to fall for his story.
“So, why did you say you hated me on my answering machine? What was that all about?” he questioned.
Maybe he doesn’t know, Cajen thought. Her heart started to soften. She then came to her senses and realized she still had to let him know what he had done to her. She had to let him know how irresponsible they had been and how much he had hurt her. She remembered what Tiara had said about the third floor being empty. “We need to talk, Jason.”
“Well, I’m supposed to be in this rehearsal. Didn’t you know I was going to be in the auction?” he asked.
“Jason, we really need to talk, and rehearsal can wait. I need to talk to you now,” she demanded.
“Cajen, you trying to tell me this can’t wait until later? All my boys are gonna be here in a minute, and we promised your line sister—what’s her name? Tiara—that we’d be in practice, and on time.”
He spoke quickly, hoping to change her mind, but Cajen was feeling the anger that had been building over the past four and a half weeks. She knew if she didn’t take Jason to the third floor and talk to him, she was going to explode. Staring him right in the eyes, her right eyebrow stood at attention, “Jason, fuck practice!” she said in a low, strong voice. “I need to talk to you now.”
“Damn, baby,” he said, in his usual cool voice. “Is it that bad?”
“Come on,” she said and started to walk, not even looking behind to see if he followed. He’d better be behind me, she assured herself.
They walked down the lobby and up the stairs to the third floor. Tiara was right. Unlike the heavy activity on the first floor, the third floor was empty. Most of the lights in the classrooms were out. It was as if they were in a different building altogether. Cajen and Jason walked midway down the hall and into one of the classrooms. He sat on the desk in the front of the room. Keeping her distance, she sat in a chair in the middle of the room.
“So what’s so important that you had to drag me all the way into no-man’s-land?” he asked sarcastically. “What’s up?”
“I should be asking you that same question.” She folded her arms and rolled her eyes.
“Cajen, it’s not my fault you started pledging. I can’t help it if we haven’t been able to talk. You can’t be mad at me for that,” Jason said in a placating voice.
“You don’t know, do you?” she asked. She couldn’t believe it. He was acting like he still cared about her.
“Don’t know what?” he questioned. “Listen, I don’t have time to play games with you. Just spit it out so I can get down to the practice.” He was becoming frustrated.
“Jason, after I spent the night and had sex with you, I went to the doctor a few days later and had an examination.” She paused and walked over to one of the windows in the back of the classroom. “The doctor told me that I have an STD.”
“An STD. Wait a minute, are you trying to say I gave you a disease?” Jason exclaimed.
“I’m not trying to say anything. I’m straight-up telling you you did,” she said, and walked closer to him. Her anger gave her the strength to move into his space. “When was the last time you went to the doctor to get a checkup?”
“Well, it’s been a while . . . but I haven’t needed to go to no doctor.” He was offended by her attitude. He had never seen this side of her.
“Well, I wish you had gone to see a doctor before you met me, because since I had sex with you, I have herpes. And I got it from you, Jason.”
“Herpes . . . from me? Nah, Cajen, you didn’t get nothing from me. Un-uh, I’m sorry. No sir.”
She couldn’t believe his nonchalant attitude. “Jason, you know I’ve only had sex with one other person in my life. And I haven’t been with him in half a year. I’ve had my annual checkup since then. It wasn’t until after I was with you I got herpes, and you cannot deny it, because you did give it to me,” she argued. “I can’t believe that you are trying to deny this.” Cajen was furious. She had to sit down to calm herself.
“Look, I’m not trying to deny nothing. It’s just that I don’t have any symptoms, so I don’t have it,” Jason said.
“Do you even know what the symptoms are?”
“Well, not really.” He stood up, sighed, and put his hands in his back pockets.
Cajen wasn’t sure if he was going to walk out of the room, or if he was even paying attention, but she continued.
“Jason, you need to go to a doctor or a clinic, or something, because you do have herpes and you gave it to me—and God knows whoever else.” She got up out of the chair. “You know what? I’m outta here, ’cause I can see I’m wasting my time with you,” she said. “I just want you to know that you have completely ruined my entire life. Thanks a lot,” she said, as she started toward the door. He stopped her.
“Wait.” He grabbed her arm.
“Why? Why should I wait?” Cajen asked.
“Well, because I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I messed up your life. But I do want you to know I’ve been thinking about you since I saw you last. You have been on my mind, and I know you are mad at me, but I don’t want to stop seeing you just because of this. We can work through this,” he said, and stroked her cheeks with his fingers.
Cajen found some small relief in those words, because although she was upset with him, in a strange and inexplicable way she felt comforted by his still wanting her. She rationalized that if they stayed together, she wouldn’t have to ever worry about being with another man and explaining that she had an STD.
Who else would want me anyway, she thought. Then she looked deep into his eyes to make sure he was sincere.
“I want you in my life, and those other girls don’t mean nothing,” Jason said. “Listen, when you cross, we’ll talk about this again. No, as a matter of fact, let’s leave this discussion in this room. Let’s not talk about it again. We’ll just move forward together.”
Jason left Cajen speechless. She was under his spell again, and she couldn’t argue.
Maybe there was no need to talk about this situation again, she assured herself. Everything was going to be all right between them.
Jason put his arms around her and said, “This don’t mean nothing. We can get past all of this. I know we can.” Then he pulled away to look in her eyes and asked, “Are you all right now?”
“Yeah, I’m okay,” Cajen answered.
“You don’t still hate me, do you? Because if you do, it won’t work,” Jason said, pulling her close to him again.
“I don’t hate you,” she whispered, as she breathed in his scent. Her anger started to dissipate and was replaced with relief. She felt that as long as he stayed with her, and she didn’t have to go out into the world and face other men, she would be all right.
“Good . . . Good . . .” He hugged her.
“We need to get back downstairs.” Cajen pulled away reluctantly. Although she wasn’t ready to leave that room and the closeness she felt with Jason at that moment, she knew she needed to be at the rehearsal.
“Yeah, we do,” he said. “Are you gonna be okay?” he asked again, and looked into her eyes.
“As long as I have you in my life I will,” she responded. They hugged again. Cajen embraced him even tighter this time, convinced he truly cared about her.
“Well, I have to pick up the microphones. I’ll see you in the auditorium in a few minutes. Okay?”
“Okay, beautiful,” he replied.
Cajen walked into the auditorium just as they were ready to run through the entire show. Her line sisters looked at her and noticed she seemed to be in better spirits than she’d been in for some time.
“You can bring the mikes over here,” Tiara said. Cajen walked over to her. “Jason’s here,” she whispered into Cajen’s ear.
“I know,” she whispered back to her, while they connected the microphones to the plugs in the stage floor. “I already talked to him.”
“Are you all right?” Tiara asked. She was unsure about Cajen’s emotional state, but relieved that she wasn’t a wreck.
“I’m fine. I’ll tell you about it later,” she said, and walked off the stage past Don and Chancey.
Don told Chancey of the conversation he had had with his agent. He was excited because his agent had assured him that his chance of going in the first round of the NFL draft was great. He was even expecting him to go in the top twenty-five.
Chancey shared his excitement. “We need to celebrate the news!” she said. “I can’t wait until things get back to normal. Then we can really spend time together again.” She looked over her shoulder. She wasn’t comfortable, because she was preoccupied with making sure her two big sisters weren’t watching.
“Chancey, they’re not watching us,” he assured her.
“I know. I wish I could get just one little kiss from you, but I know I can’t,” she teased.
“You can,” he said. “Wait one sec.” Donald walked to a corner in the very back of the stage that was blocked from the seating area by the half-opened curtains. Once there, he motioned for Chancey to come over. She was nervous but excited. She casually walked over to him. He grabbed her and laid an extra-wet, extra-sensual kiss on her. She tried to pull away, because she didn’t want anybody to see them kissing, but he wouldn’t let her go. He was getting a kick out of the whole thing.
“Don,” she whispered.
“Not yet, not yet. I want another one,” he begged. They kissed again.
“Excuse me, lovebirds.” Tiara interrupted their moment.
Chancey was so embarrassed that she jumped as far away from Don as she could.
“Did anybody else see?” she asked.
“Nah girl, but you two are steaming up the place.” She laughed and walked over to center stage, where Malena and Ray were. They were discussing the best place for Ray and Don to place her for the introduction.
Every time her big sisters looked away from the stage, Ray tickled Malena on her side and she’d hit his hand. Just as Tiara got beside them, Malena hit Ray for tickling her. Unfortunately, Dean Big Sister Nina saw her.
“Malena!” she scolded. “Why are you hitting that gentleman?”
“Dean Big Sister Nina, I was not hitting him,” she responded. “It was an accident. I was stretching out my arms and he was in the way, and I accidentally hit him.”
Nina knew she was lying, but decided to let it slide. “Okay, Malena. But let’s not forget our purpose for being here.”
“No, Big Sister, I have not forgotten,” she responded, and walked to the side of the stage that was blind to the audience. Ray followed, pressing his lips together to restrain the laughter.
“You’re gonna get it!” she whispered, and they both laughed quietly.
Tiara walked up to the microphone and prepped everyone to begin. They went through the entire show. All the guys followed Tiara’s directions and remembered their spots. They even knew when to move and turn. The music was perfect, and Malena’s introduction was fantastic. Dean Big Sister Nina and Big Sister Kendra seemed pleased, almost impressed, even. The evening went well.
After the participants and Big Sisters Nina and Kendra left, and only the line sisters were in the auditorium, Tiara couldn’t resist asking Cajen, “What’s the deal with you and Jason?”
Cajen blushed and explained that he was outside of the auditorium when she went to pick up the mikes. She informed them that he said he didn’t know he had “it,” or that he had given “it” to her. And that he had apologized, assuring her that he wanted to make their relationship work. She hated the word
herpes
and vowed never to let it cross her lips again.
“And that’s all that it took?” Stephanie asked incredulously.
“Well, yeah.” She shrugged. “At least now I know he’s not gonna leave me.”
“Is that all you were worried about? Cajen, he was irresponsible. And I don’t care what he says, Jason is a player, and he is not going to be faithful to you,” Stephanie argued. “I’ve known him for three years. We came in to college together, and he has always been a womanizer. He has never taken any relationship seriously. He’s gonna hurt you again. In only a matter of time, his true colors are gonna show.” Stephanie hated being so hard on Cajen, but she also hated seeing her be so naÏve.
“I was irresponsible too. I could have easily told him to use a condom,” Cajen said. “Plus, you don’t understand. If I don’t stay with Jason, I won’t have anybody. Who else would want me?” She put her head down. “Jason wants me, and I’m just gonna have to make it work with him.”
“Cajen, you have yourself,” Tiara said. “You don’t need a man to define your self-worth. I haven’t had a boyfriend yet. I am still a virgin, and I know I am worth a whole lot, with or without a man.”