Stare Me Down (Stare Down) (30 page)

Saliva pooled in Jaxx’s mouth but she was holding off swallowing. Every time she did, the clamps tightened. Any second now she was going to have to bear it; otherwise she’d be drooling.

He tied her hands together behind her and just as promised, he threaded that rope through the collar so was unable to move her head down. She didn’t dare move it up because of the clamps.

She felt a tug and realized he was tying the end of the rope to table leg.

“Beautiful. Now let’s bend you over. You’re completely helpless right now. You have to rely on me to position you.”

Her heart pounded as she shifted forward. She had no way to break her fall if he let go of her.

“I’ve got you. This is my favorite sight of you. With your cheek pressed to the ground. Well, in this case the tabletop and your shoulders down while your ass is up and presented. I love this position for you.”

She closed her eyes as he put his hands on her. Pinching and rubbing, tapping at times, hard then soft until he got to her bottom. Then he wasn’t soft at all. He took hold of her cheeks and squeezed. Rolled. Pinched there too, until her skin and muscle tingled and burned.

“Did you see what I bought you in honor of my little art project? No?”

She couldn’t turn her head to look even if she wanted to, and at this point she didn’t want to. There were too many warring sensation rippling over her at once.

“What do you think?”

He held a stick with a little red leather heart on the top of it. She blinked and tried to focus, but when he smacked the heart in the center of his palm, she jerked and pain shot through her.

“Jewez Crips!” She nearly lost the chain, but managed to swear around it.

“Careful, babe. Those nipple clamps are a bitch, aren’t they?”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. In and out, she imagined the air moving through her lungs as she tried to find that place inside herself.

“Oh, no you don’t. You’re not going anywhere.”

The first strike landed across both ass cheeks, and her eyes popped open. That wasn’t too bad. Then the second strike landed, and that wasn’t too bad either. Maybe there was something wrong with her, because this should be painful. It should be stinging or something and it was just like he’d described her throwing that football at his back. A wee little bee sting.

Of course a few seconds later, when she realized he was gradually increasing the force of each strike, she started to pay attention.

“That’s better. Now we can begin.”

Jaxx was expecting more of the sensations she’d experienced when he’d used the belt that night in the maze, but this was different. The strikes were sharp. The sting from them lasted longer and when he got into a steady rhythm, something began to happen to her. It wasn’t from the external thing he was doing to her‌—‌this was more internal. Her state of mind was being altered. Everything had a new meaning. All the sensations gathered together and pushed upward.

She couldn’t hear the strikes as they landed anymore. All she heard was the sound of the ocean. All she felt were the waves of cool water lapping at her legs and washing over her breasts. This was heaven. This was where she was always meant to be. Floating on the edge of nothing.

Chapter Nineteen

Aries had never Topped a woman like Jaxx before. One who committed to the experience on a cerebral level. He was sure it brought her in deeper to center, because when she surrendered it was unequivocal and complete. Her body opened at the same time as her mind, and it was something to be a part of. Watching her slip into sub-space took his breath away.

He’d worked her in a slow and steady rhythm. Increasing force in a gradual but measured pace. Over and over he connected. Watching and waiting. Pausing every few strokes to test the heat on her skin. Gauging her threshold while he waited for her to react. He wanted her to let go. To laugh or cry. He knew she needed that kind of release where the genuine emotion was hers alone, but she remained quiet and still.

He leaned down and angled his jaw over her shoulder. Breathing with her. Pacing himself with her every breath and when he did he knew he wouldn’t see her let go that way as she’d already let go another.

“So beautiful.” He kissed her cheek and stood back to admire the blush colored marks on her ass. The sight of her was humbling. “Gorgeous,” he said, positive she’d never know what kind of a gift she’d just given him. Conscious or not, she’d put herself into his hands which meant on some unseen plane she trusted him more than she trusted herself.

“Here, babe.” He kept his voice soft and his movements unhurried. “I’m going to take the clamps off you. Open your mouth.” She didn’t, so he gently forced her lips apart and unhooked the chain from her teeth. “This is going to feel good soon.” He dislodged the clamps and rubbed each nipple with his palm. “When the blood rushes back to them, they’re going to be hot and tingly. Maybe I should get some ice. Would you like that?”

He spoke as he worked, knowing that she probably heard one tenth of what he was saying if anything at all, but he didn’t care. It made him feel as if he was more connected to her when he talked.

“There. All untied.” He rubbed her hands and wrists. Bringing them down slowly before he picked her up and carried her to his chair. He sat and tucked her up against him, good and tight. The heat from her ass burned through his leather pants warming him and wrapping around his cock while he gently rocked them. Damn, it felt good with her in his arms as he waited for her to come back to herself.

Curling his knuckles he stroked her cheek and thought about all the things she had to learn. The first thing he was going to teach her was not to check out on him so soon. He wanted to play with her some more, and she dove the first chance she got into the abyss. Had she been more experienced, he would have continued while she drifted, but not now. Especially when he wanted to get his words on her. Right above the ass he’d just marked.

When she shivered he hugged her close. As she trembled he rubbed his palms over her to create warming friction. The moment her teeth quietly chattered he drew her in tighter and touched his cheek to hers, whispering, “You’re amazing. So special. I love the way you got lost for me. Only me. Shh…”

He placed gentle kisses on her lips until eventually she calmed. Then he adjusted their position so she was folded nice and safe in his embrace. With his chin resting on top of her head while her slow and even breathing bathed his chest, he enjoyed the overwhelming satisfaction he was experiencing. Never in his life had he had an occasion to want a moment to be perfect, but now that it was he wanted it to last a lifetime.

“Take your time, babe. We have all night.” He kissed her forehead and murmured, “I’m here.” He held her close. “I’ll always be here.”

It was sometime later that she stirred.

“Mmm…” She stretched against him like a little cat waking from a nap. “That was remarkable.”

Her eyes were so bright now. Wide and alert when she tilted back to look up at him that he grinned and shook his head. “You know most women would have cried or begged, being caned like that.”

“Why?” At her frown, he realized she was serious.

“I don’t know. It hurts.”

“It does?” She wiggled her bottom against him and said, “It feels right somehow.”

His heart skipped a beat. “Why?”

“It makes me feel closer to you. Does that make sense?”

“Oh, yeah.” He kissed her forehead, each eyelid and the tip of her nose. “It makes all kinds of sense to me.”

When he leaned back, she snuggled up against him. Cheek to pec and said, “The feeling afterward reminded me of something.”

“What?”

“It’s stupid.”

“Nothing is stupid where you’re concerned. Come on, you can tell me.”

“I—”

She hesitated so he gave her an encouraging squeeze.

“It’s more like an observation but here goes. When I was ten my family went on a trip to Florida. After a few days there my dad said he had a surprise for me. I thought he was taking me to a water park, but that’s not where we wound up. Instead we went canoeing down the Hillsborough River. This wouldn’t have been so bad if it hadn’t rained ferociously the day before. When the bus took us to the launching area the driver explained that there were downed trees and all kinds of debris in the water so we should follow the yellow ribbons and keep the oars down as the overhanging vines had snakes and spiders on them.”

Aries was sure she didn’t realize she’d shuddered at the memory. What kind of a fucking asshole was her father?

“So, you know the first time I saw a gator push off the rock he was sunning himself on and swim toward us, I forgot myself. I lifted my oar to change paddle sides and hit the branches above us causing an avalanche of Spanish moss, leaves and sticks crawling with all different sized spiders to land in our canoe. Spiders, even daddy-long legs freak me out, so I was ready to jump in the water and test my luck with the gators, but then I saw how pissed dad was and I knew I couldn’t react. I had to deal with my fear. Swallow it and I did. I sat in that canoe and paddled the rest of the way, brushing aside the spiders that came too close. It was…”

He held her tight and whispered, “Was?”

“It was a weird experience for me. Being ten and surrounded by all those spiders, I was sure I was going to die until something strange happened. Eventually I went numb and by the time the trip finished I don’t think I was even inside myself. Oh, I remembered docking and climbing out of that canoe, but I also remember I couldn’t feel my legs and my muscles felt as if I’d expended them beyond endurance. Later that night I recalled bits and pieces of the ride not the whole time in continuum. That’s what I feel like now. I remember being on that table and bits and pieces of what you said and did, but not all of it.”

Aries frowned as he processed that comparison. “But you didn’t like the canoe trip.”

“I didn’t say that. I said it was a weird experience for me.”

“So tonight is weird for you too?”

“No.”

“I hear a ‘but’.”

“With the canoe trip I was forced to reach beyond my limitations out of fear of my dad’s wrath whereas with you, tonight? I was free to go beyond them because I trusted you.”

God damn. There was nothing sexier than a smart woman.

“Although, now that I think about it, the end result was the same. Both times I felt more alive afterward than I ever did before. There should be a difference, shouldn’t there?”

“Hm, if your dad wanted to take you on another canoe trip would you go?”

“No way.”

He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “What about if I asked you to climb back up on that table with your shoulders down and your ass up so I could give you more of my attention, would you?”

“Yes.”

“There’s the difference and I’m glad for it.”

“Me too.”

“Jaxx?”

“Hmm?”

He should leave things as they were. He shouldn’t push for more. “I haven’t finished with all I had in mind to do with our session.”

She sat up. “Did I spoil it?”

He reached for the O-ring on the collar and traced his index finger over it. “Of course not. I just didn’t want to continue when you weren’t all there. It’s too soon for that. One day, but not today.”

“What did you have in mind?”

He drew his bent knuckle over her nipples in a lazy series of loop-like patterns. Continuing the motion across the spiked center until he was sure he had her in the proper frame of mind. Then he said, “I want to write my words on your back in black permanent marker. After I do I’m going to bend you over and fuck you until both of us come hard.”

She didn’t miss a beat. “What kind of words?”

“Up you get.”

“Why?”

“There’s that word again.” He shook his head. “How about I show you, but I need to get a piece of paper.”

He took her by the hand to the cabinet and grabbed some paper out of one of the drawers. Then he walked them to the table. He wasn’t going to let go of her. Not now. Putting the paper down, he shifted ready to lift her up but decided against it.

“Turn around.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to see the marks I made on your ass, that’s why. Seeing them really does it for me. I love the stripes.”

She turned around and almost fell over trying to see behind herself to get a peek.

“Careful.” He steadied her and then ran a hand over the hot strips. Over and over he rubbed in a circle until she quivered and grabbed for the table. “How are your breasts, are they tingly?” Her nipples would be in continuous spike mode for the next day or two. One of the benefits of being properly clamped for a time.

“Aries.”

She leaned back against him, and a flashed image from his dream came to mind. He was so close to getting what he wanted from her. So very close.

“Let me show you what I want to write.”

With her back to his front, he leaned forward and picked up the marker. Putting it to paper, he wrote, i belong to Ramsey Taylor. Not all the words he wanted on her, but enough for now.

When he was finished, he held his breath, hoping he hadn’t ruined things. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her or make this too weird for her.

After she read the phrase she tilted her head and met his gaze. “I think I’d like that.”

The air rushed out of him. “Beautiful. Bend over the table. Arms stretched up over your head and cheek pressed into the wood.”

She did as he said without hesitation, causing heated adrenaline to race through his veins. He knew why he was feeling like he’d just conquered Everest. Owning a woman like Jaxx Gavin was a privilege. A blessing. A gift.

He kept his hand steady as he wrote his words across her lower back. In bigger script than he’d require if this had been a permanent tattoo. He wanted to enjoy this. Relish it. From hip to hip he claimed her. Marking her as his. And when she stood and he examined the words, her striped little ass and all that naked skin that belonged to him, something snapped inside. His restraint and the patience he’d been maintaining let go.

One minute he was standing there, looking at her, and the next he carried her over to the sawhorse and bent her over it. “Spread your legs.” He was already covered with latex, so he didn’t pause. Only took his cock out and then pushed it into her while he wrapped a hand around the collar and held her down. He tugged and pulled. Pumped and flexed into her as he stared at his words across her lower back. It was as if they taunted him to take, plunder and steal what he wanted from her. But then there was no need for thieving, because she opened herself up with a sigh and gave him all he wanted and more. She gave him everything, and he gladly took it.