Stare Me Down (Stare Down) (31 page)

Chapter Twenty

“Hey, sunshine.” Aries kissed her shoulder. “Are you awake?”

Jaxx didn’t answer him. She just rolled over and put her hand to his cheek. He looked so great in the early morning light. His big, tanned body was the picture of health, wrapped in the crisp white sheets. She threaded her fingers through his sleep-rumpled hair and pulled him down for a kiss. This led to more kisses until she was underneath him.

It was quiet and calm. Unhurried and wonderful. So different from the night before that she went with the experience. She lost herself in it, and in him. He was heartbreakingly gentle as he touched every part of her with his lips and hands. She never even opened her eyes when he broke contact and she heard him reach into the nightstand. She didn’t want this newfound euphoria to end.

And when he entered her, it was slow. Easy. As he filled her up and consumed her. Rocking her in the cradle of the mattress. Steady and wonderful when the light came in. When the heat built inside her and the air got thin and all those lovely tingles wound around her. Pushing upward from her toes. Over her calves, knees, thighs and landing beautifully between her legs in a nice, tight squeeze.

She drew in a breath…‌until her inner muscles constricted one last time and gave way.

Her breath caught and held suspended for a blissful moment before she sighed it out. Deep and long as she rode the crest of this orgasm all the way home.

It wasn’t until Aries collapsed on top of her and growled, “Damn,” that she came back to herself. Loving the contact as his forehead rested on hers while he caught his breath.

It was a surreal moment. One she’d never forget. With his heart beating rapidly against hers and the early morning sunrise breaking through the shadows that fell on his bed, Jaxx Gavin realized she felt whole for the first time in her life. Both her physical and emotional state of being had just worked together as a team. Melding into one so she could enjoy herself instead of tearing her apart with guilt over all her failings.

So this is what inner and perfect peace feels like?

“Are you crying?”

“No.”
Sniffle.

“You are. Did I hurt you?”

“No. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why?”

“Even I’m beginning to hate that word. Never mind.”

She went to roll away from him, and he wasn’t about to let her go. He pulled her back until she was forced to spoon with him. “Oh, no you don’t. I want to know what’s bothering you.”

“You’re crushing me.”

“Tough, spill.”

She didn’t fight him, but she wasn’t talking either.

“Jaxx.”

“I had an orgasm. Okay? Are you happy now?”

“Yes, I am, and I would think you’d be happy too. So why the tears?”

“I’ve never had an orgasm with a guy before.”

Aries looked at the ceiling. The window. And then at the back of her head. “Ah, last time I checked I was a guy, and not to toot my own horn or anything, but you’ve had multiples with me.”

“I meant nice guys.”

“What?” He laughed and moved to make room for her to rollover. Shifting until they were nose-to-nose he stared her down. “I’m a nice guy.”

“Not when we’re screwing. You’re usually mean.”

“Mean?” He pulled back and scowled. “I’m mean?”

“Maybe bad is better, but don’t worry, I like it. I just never knew that I could have an orgasm with a nice guy.”

“Who’s the nice guy?”

“You were this morning. The experience took my breath away.”

Now he understood. This was important to her. A learning curve that would give her more power over her sexuality, because now she knew without out a doubt she wasn’t frigid when it came to vanilla sex either.

“I just worry too much sometimes.”

“We all do.”

“Not you.”

He searched her face and then sighed. “Even me. It just may seem like I don’t because I appreciate the power of a moment for what it is. I never stop to examine all the things it isn’t.”

When she grinned he pulled her in for a hug, pleased that she was happy. After a time he leaned back. “So I took your breath away, did I?” At her nod he whispered, “Want me to do it again?”

Damn there were those dimples when she smiled and said, “Maybe.”

This is what he loved. A woman who was game for anything. He let go of her and leaned up on one elbow. “Rollover. I want to look at your ass.” That wasn’t all he wanted to look at. He wanted to see those words and know he hadn’t dreamed all this. Especially the part where she’d said, “I’d like that.” Of course, black marker was one thing and a bona fide tattoo another. But this was a good start.

When she shifted, he sucked in a breath. The immeasurable satisfaction he got spying the ink on her stunned him. The lettering looked and seemed so right. So perfect, as if his name should have always been there.

Just like in his dream.

Tracing his finger over the script, he knew this was no dream. And as such, he had to be careful. Bide his time for a little longer and he’d be able to make this their new reality. He told himself he wanted her for keeps because she surrendered to him like no woman had before, but that wasn’t the real reason behind his feelings for her. He suspected the real draw for him was her mind. She was the most interesting woman he’d ever met. A little fucked up, sure, but then, everyone was, weren’t they?

“Stay exactly like this. I’ll be right back.”

“Where are you going?”

“Don’t move,” he called and went into the playroom. Going to the cabinet, he found the item he was looking for and headed back. “Did you move?”

“No.”

“Good. Now no squirming.” He dripped some lube into the crease of her ass, and she clenched her cheeks together.

“Aries, what are you doing?”

“Relax. Don’t tighten up.”

She was putty in his hands as he used the tips of his fingers to spread the lube. Pausing to gently circle her tight little ring, pressing and testing to see how far he could go with her. When she didn’t balk, he tugged on a condom and covered himself with the oil. “Very good,” he breathed and positioned himself against her opening. “Relax,” he repeated but her body automatically clenched. “Don’t. Deep breath, babe. That’s it. I’ll go nice and smooth. It’s going to feel good after this first part. Don’t fight it. Bear down.” He flex forward and pulled back and then pushed some more. “Relax. That’s it. Just a little…‌a little more.” Finally the tip of him went through the band of resistance and he slid all the way into her. “There.” He leaned down and bit her shoulder blade.

“God. That kind of feels good.”

“I know something else that will feel good. I’m going to make you come. It will be more intense now. Are you ready?”

“Oh, God…”

*****

A few hours later when Jaxx stretched awake and discovered Aries wasn’t beside her she couldn’t help feeling abandoned. She’d been literally crowded in bed with him earlier this morning as he hovered and hugged, and she had to admit she loved it.

Once she found her clothes and got dressed she went on a hunt. She didn’t have far to go. Two steps out of the bedroom and she heard his hushed voice coming from the kitchen. He was speaking to someone on the phone.

“I told you I didn’t want to ask her. Now what choice do I have? I’m committed. No. I said, no.” He was standing by the counter and just finished wrapping tape around something he held in his hands. “Look, I have to go. Oh, hell yeah, you’ll make it up to me.”

Jaxx didn’t move as Aries threw the phone and the tape on the counter and stalked to the front entrance. He was completely oblivious to her so when he left and slammed the door, she jumped and then headed to the window. She spotted him walking across the lawn with that wrapped-in-tape object in his hand. Looking beyond him she noticed an older woman fidgeting, sitting in the full morning sun on an Adirondack chair next door, while a younger woman sat on the doorstep behind her, messing with something on her phone. When the younger woman saw Aries approach, she stood and stepped out of the shade.

Trill

“Jesus.” Jaxx nearly bumped her forehead on the glass when the ring sounded. Placing a hand over her heart and taking a deep breath, she ignored the call as she continued to watch what was taking place next door.

In less than a minute, Aries had the older woman sitting in dappled sunlight and whatever he’d given her, had managed to calm her down. Odd, but he didn’t even speak to the young woman who stood by. He just moved the older woman into the shade and got down on his haunches to talk with her. Jaxx was so busy admiring how great he looked she’d completely forgot about the caller until she heard the sexy voice on the answering machine.

“Don’t be mad. I hate it when you’re mad at me.”

Wild Shar.

Jaxx was still frowning over the message, when Aries came back to the house. She pushed away from the window and headed into the front hall, determined he wouldn’t miss her this time.

“Hi.” Although he smiled, it was a half-ass attempt.

“Hi back.”

“I could put some coffee on, would you like some?”

“Sure.” Following him into the kitchen, she was unsure about what else to say given his present mood. She watched him scoop the coffee into the machine and decided he was less mad than he was distracted. Over what? Wild Shar or the older woman?

“Aries?”

He didn’t turn around when he spoke. All he did was continue with the task of getting out two mugs and bringing down the sugar bowl. “I know I promised to spend the day with you today, but—” he paused to still the spoon that rocked on the granite, “—something has come up that I have to deal with.”

Not something. Someone. God, even his voice was distant. Cool when he’d spoken.

“I understand,” she lied and continued right on fibbing. “It’s just as well you’re going to be busy. I am too. I have groceries to get, housework to do and I am on call this weekend.”

He turned and came to the center island where she stood. With the width of that between them, he bent forward and braced his elbows on the counter. She nearly sighed noticing how good the days’ worth of stubble darkening his jaw looked. It caused her heart to race and her pulse‌—‌damn, the more time she spent with him the more he affected her. Take right now for instance, she couldn’t decide which was nicer. The tiger-eye granite or the steel-grey eyed man leaning over it.

“I thought you spoke to Maggie about working over the weekends?”

“I did. But it’s my turn. No biggie.” And before he questioned her further, she changed the subject. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What did you give your neighbor? I saw you through the window. The poor thing looked upset until you handed it over. It seemed to have a calming effect on her. Does she suffer from dementia?”

He eyed her as if he were debating whether to go with the new topic or stick to the old. Thankfully he chose the new.

“Alzheimer’s.” He stood and stretched his back. “I did the paper towel trick. It always works.”

“Trick?”

“Yeah. I noticed when my dad got agitated like that, he’d pick at things. His shirt or pants. Maybe specks on the table. It was as if his mind knew it needed to be occupied but it was too confused to make anything productive happen. Except for the picking. So you work with what you got. I rolled a bunch of paper towels like a pipe one day and then used masking tape to cover it all. I made a big show of needing his help, handing it over to him, and I asked him to unravel it. He spent hours trying. It kept his mind calm and he wasn’t so stressed out all the time. Betty’s at that phase in the disease.”

“So, your dad has Alzheimer’s?”

“Had. And yes.” When the coffee machine beeped he went and poured them each a mug. “It’s an awful illness. The only thing worse are naïve family members who live in denial. Betty’s grandson thinks he’s doing her a big favor keeping her out of a facility, but he’s not. He and his wife work so much and travel that she’s left in the care of a mish-mash of nurses. This one’s a real problem, but they haven’t fired her. They should. She’s dangerous as Betty constantly wanders on her watch.”

He finished stirring and handed her over the cup. She was surprised he remembered how she took her coffee, but then he was good at remembering things. “Geriatrics was the field I wanted to specialize in.”

He got his own mug and joined her. “But you didn’t.”

“No, Maggie talked me out of it. She said there wasn’t enough growth for someone like me. I needed to choose a field where I could build a client base, and with the elderly…”

“They die off. That’s cold. Is that why you write your column?”

This surprised her. “You know about that?”

He leaned against the island. “Yeah, I used to read it to my dad. He thought your answers were funny.”

“Not all of them, I hope. I do have the occasional senior concern that needs to be addressed.”

“Sure. And I’m just going to put this out there. It really pisses me off that Maggie had any say in your career path. You and only you should choose what you want to do.”

Jaxx was glad the tension was easing and things between them were beginning to feel normal again. After what they’d done last night and this morning she needed to feel normal with him. Actually, all she wanted to feel at the moment was wanted. “Maggie isn’t all bad.”

He snorted and put down his mug.

“Really, I know she can be a bear, but she’s always been in my corner, you know?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

Unfortunately, Jaxx finally owning that truth came with some unforeseen consequences. It forced her to come to terms with the fact that Maggie cared for her. She’d always tried her best to protect Jaxx from harm whenever she could. Admittedly, she was overbearing and, at times, overprotective, but she was never malicious in any form. Add to that her genuine concern over Jaxx heading for a huge fall with Aries and this thing between him and Wild Shar this morning going on and worry began to set in.

She wasn’t going to let it rule her.

“I, ah, seem to be constantly talking about my family and problems. What about your family? You said your dad passed?”