Stay (23 page)

“Julian.” I say his name qu
ietly.

He turns around and finally acknowledges me for the first time since these two walked up. I’m not sure what I read in his eyes, but it’s clear he’s really uncomfortable. He starts to explain this is a work thing, but I cut him off before he finishes his sentence. I do so by silently turning around and walking the other way. I don’t even look back as I head anywhere but here. Did he really expect me to just stand there and wait? If so, he doesn’t know me at all. The worst part is he just lets me go and doesn’t call out
to me.

If I had a car, I would be out of here so fast. But I don’t, and all my stuff is in his car anyway. Tears spring to my eyes, and I’m kicking myself that I’m in this situation. I wanted to go public. I wanted to be part of his world. I was so stupid. It’s much easier to be with Julian in private. I definitely don’t like sh
aring.

I go to the only place where I know I’ll feel better. I go find Luke. I know Luke won’t ignore me and make me feel invisible. And if I’m being honest, I know it will piss Julian off when he finds me there. I stop in the ladies’ room before I head up to Orion. I need to compose myself before Luke sees me, or he’ll know something is
wrong.

Luke notices me a few minutes after I get to the bar. “What’s wrong, Lex? You’re either about to cry or kill someone. I can’t tell.” Well that took all of about two seconds. Luke knows me so well, and of course he can read my expression. So much for composing m
yself.

“I don’t want to talk about it. Please just get me a shot of Pa
trón.”

Luke looks at me quizzically. He knows I’m not really a shot
girl.

“Seriously, Luke. Get me a shot please. Actually make it
two.”

“If you tell me what happened.” He’s just standing there staring
at me.

I’m not in the mood to play games. “I’ll go somewhere else, Luke. Just get me a
shot.”

He sees I’m serious, so he pours two shots and puts them in front of me. I down them quickly and feel the warmth course through my
body.

“Jesus, Lexie, what the hell is wrong? You’re freaking me
out.”

I really don’t want to tell him what just happened. I know he doesn’t want to hear about Julian to begin with, and I know he doesn’t want to hear about Julian and other women. Or maybe he does. He does like to be
right.

“I’m fine, Luke. Julian had to take care of some business, and I came up to sa
y hi.”

“You’re a horrible liar, Lex. Did he do something to hurt
you?”

Ugh. “No, Luke, but he pissed me off. Please just let i
t go.”

“I told
you …”

Luke stops midsentence as Julian comes up and stands next to me at the bar. My body betrays me, and I have to summon all of my mental strength not to turn and address him. Thirty minutes ago, I was in his arms, and now I want to run
away.

“I thought I would find you here, Alexa.” I hear the sarcasm in his voice, and I know he’s pissed I ran to Luke. Good, serves him right. I keep staring forward and refuse to acknowledge him like he refused to acknowled
ge me.

“Uh huh. I came to see a friendly
face.”

Luke is looking back and forth between Julian and me, and I know he thinks it’s awesome we’re fighting. It doesn’t surprise me Julian decides not to respond negatively. He won’t get into this in front of
Luke.

“Are you ready to go, Alexa?” Julian sounds hostile and impatient. Seriously? He’s the one who felt the need to ru
n off.

“After I have another shot. Luke, please get me another.” Luke looks at me like I’m nuts and shakes his
head.

“I don’t think so, Lex. The third is never a good idea for
you.”

Julian grabs my hand and tugs on it, physically asking me to look at him. I meet his glare with one of m
y own.

“Third? You’ve only been up here for twenty min
utes.”

“And?” I look back at Luke. “Another shot please.” My voice is dripping with sa
rcasm.

Luke shakes his head and pours me another shot. I hold it up and toast to both Luke and J
ulian.

“Here’s to you two men thinking you know what’s best fo
r me.”

I down the shot quickly and turn to face Julian. “I’m ready to go
now.”

He’s staring at me with fire in his eyes, and I know I’ve crossed a line. I’ve embarrassed him in front of Luke. I glance at Luke, and his expression matches Jul
ian’s.

“Are you okay to go, Lex?” Luke uses the opportunity to come to my rescue even though I can tell he isn’t happy wi
th me.

“She’s good, Luke. C’mon, Alexa, let’
s go.”

I hear Luke become my white knight. “You don’t need to speak for her, Ju
lian.”

Uh-oh. They’re staring at each other, and it’s anyone’s guess which man will back down first this time. This is getting way too intense. Luke needs to remember Julian is his boss. I would hate for anything to happen to his job because of me, especially when he really is just looking out f
or me.

I lean across the bar and give him a quick peck on the lips. I know that is going to piss Julian off even more, but I really don’t
care.

“I’m good, Luke. I’ll call you l
ater.”

Luke shakes his head at me and reluctantly walks away. I get off my stool and turn to walk toward the stairs. Julian follows behind me, and when we’re out of earshot of the bar, he grabs my hand and turns me a
round.

“What did he mean by he told you? What were you two talking about when I walke
d up?”

I yank my hand away. “Nothing, Ju
lian.”

“I’m not playing, Alexa, tell me what he meant? What did he tell
you?”

I can’t help myself. I’m pissed, hurt, and now a little buzzed. “He told me to stay the fuck away from
you.”

Julian’s eyes blaze, and the laugh that comes out of his mouth isn’t one of amusement. “And what was his reason for that, A
lexa?”

“Does it ma
tter?”

“Oh yeah. I’d love to hear why Luke thinks you should stay away from me.” Julian’s posture is rigid, and I can tell he’s trying to stay
calm.

“Um, maybe because he doesn’t want me to be part of your ‘girl of the night’ club.” Sarcastic Alexa is fully out and not holding bac
k now.

“Would that be
my
girl of the night club or
his
? Because I’m sure he’d be okay with you being part of
his.”

I shake my head. “What are you talking about, Ju
lian?”

“Gimme a break, Alexa. Luke goes home with a different girl almost every night. And he’s worried about me?” Now I’m frustrated. This isn’t about Luke. This is about how Julian treated me ea
rlier.

“No, Julian, he’s worried about
me
, and after how you just treated me, he appears to have good re
ason.”

Julian’s expression softens as he formulates his response. I’m anxious to hear how he’s going to defend hi
mself.

“I’m sorry I treated you the way I did, but it was the better of two evils. Victoria and Elyse are not nice women. Victoria, the one with the black hair, and I have been together a few times. She wanted more, I didn’t. Had I put you in her line of fire, she would have gone after you. I’ve seen her do it. She doesn’t understand why I don’t want her, and she would question why I want
you.”

“Why? Because I’m not a m
odel?”

He doesn’t miss a beat.
“Yes.”

“And I’m sure it would’ve been really hard for you to explain it, right? I mean why you were with me.” My heart is breaking as I realize this is how it’s probably always going to be. People will always question what he sees
in me.

“Were? No, Alexa. Are. I
am
with you, and I don’t have a problem telling anyone why. But those two are mean and nasty. I didn’t want them to even talk to
you.”

“Well thanks for protecting me. It sure seems like you surround yourself with some quality women. Present company excl
uded.”

“I’m sorry, Alexa. I really am.” He tries to pull me to him, but I put my hand up to stop him. I’m not feeling okay with thi
s yet.

Julian shakes his head. “Please don’t do this,” he says in a pleading
tone.

“Do what, Julian?” My hands are on my hips, and my posture is defensive. I’m very stubborn when I’m
hurt.

His answer isn’t more than a whisper. “Pull
away.”

“Pull? Let’s be clear here. You pushed, Julian. You pushed.” The last part also comes out in a whisper, and I realize I don’t want to fight with him about this. It’s exhau
sting.

“Maybe. And you ran right to Luke, didn’t
you?”

“Julian, I’m not going to keep having this conversation about Luke. He’s my friend, a good friend who’s only looking out for my best inter
ests.”

Julian takes a deep breath and exhales. He’s over this too. “Okay, Alexa. I don’t want to keep fighting with you about Luke, or anything really. I can’t tell you how sorry I am we even came here tonight, but I really need you to do something fo
r me.”

“
What?”

“Please just think about whose interests Luke is really looking out
for.”

Before I have a chance to reply, Julian pulls me in close to him. This time I let him. He kisses me on the forehead and holds me in his arms for a few minutes. He takes my hand, and I know he isn’t going to let it go no matter what. As we walk through the hotel toward the parking garage, several other people try to approach him. He puts his hand up to each one and tells them to go find Ruben. He doesn’t even
stop.

Julian finally lets go of my hand when we get to his car. He opens the door, and I get in. I glance over at him as we exit the garage, and see he’s pensive and tense. He’s very quiet, and when I catch his eyes, he gives me a thin smile. My insecurities kick in, and I wonder if he’s as worn out by this drama as I am. He has to be. We have been arguing or fooling around for the last twenty-four hours. This relationship, or whatever we’re doing, is wearing me out big time. I feel like everything is different now, and in true Alexa fashion, I really just want to go home. I can’t help but think about all the women Julian has brought to his place. I’m sure the girl from the bar has been in Julian’s bed, and I can’t get that image out of my head. I begin to feel anxious, and nothing good ever happens when I start feeling like
this.

Before I can stop myself, I open my mouth. “Julian, you’re not going to like what I have to say, but I think it would be a better idea if I went home tonight. I’d rather not get to your house and go through that drama a
gain.”

I watch Julian grip the steering wheel with both hands. Even though we’re only a few blocks from his house, he pulls over. He takes a deep breath in and then exhales. He turns and looks at me, and I can see he wants off the roller coaste
r too.

“Alexa, it’s one o’clock in the morning, and I’m exhausted from this day, which feels like it’s lasted forever. We’ve been all over the map emotionally and physically, and all I want to do is get into my bed, wrap my body around you, and go to sleep. We seriously can do that. Just go to sleep. But if you really don’t want to be with me, I’ll take you home. But I won’t
stay.”

Julian is calling my bluff. He’s telling me he wants to wrap his beautiful body around mine, and I’m questioning his feelings? What is wrong with me? We started out this night with such great plans for the weekend. Damn it. Why am I letting everyone ruin this for me? I’m here with him, and he wants me. And despite every crazy emotion I’ve experienced today, I want him too. I nee
d him.

I take a deep breath. “Never mind, Julian. Take me home with you. I’ll
stay.”

He nods as he reaches over and squeezes my hand, and we make the rest of trip from the hotel to his condo in silence. Even the elevator ride is quiet. The last time we were in the elevator, Julian had his hands and mouth all over me. I can’t help but be a little turned on by the memory. However, I don’t see a repeat of that night happening now. Aside from holding my hand and a hug or two, Julian hasn’t really touched me since we left my house earlier. I think maybe that’s some of the problem. I’m craving the contact. It helps ground me and lets me know without any doubt he wan
ts me.

We enter his unit, and once again I’m amazed by how beautiful it looks with the moon and stars shining through the windows and across the
floor.

“This view is so beautiful. I can only imagine what the sunrises and sunsets look
like.”

I know the way to his bedroom, but I haven’t really seen the rest of the condo. I walk through the foyer and into the living space. The white slate floor continues throughout the whole area, and the whole back wall of the condo consists of floor-to-ceiling windows. The view is breathtaking. I look around and take in the rest of the place. The kitchen, dining, and living room are open concept and join together for a large living space. There is a huge leather sectional sofa in a chocolate brown and a flat screen TV that covers almost one whole wall in the living room area. The other furniture pieces are a mix of white, grays, and browns. It’s decorated very tastefully with muted, nondescript artwork, but in my opinion, the style is very impersonal. There are no pictures anywhere, and I don’t know if I see Julian anywhere in this style. The hotel seems so much more warm and vibrant, like him. I wonder if someone decorated his condo for him. It’s definitely expensive looking, but I find it cold. I would love to get my hands on this place and add some color and personal touches. My home is nowhere near as nice, and I definitely don’t have these views, but it feels like a home, and we have pictures every
where.