Staying Strong: 365 Days a Year (16 page)

Goal:
If you’re hurting, do your best to seek outlets that are healthy. Find a friend to talk to, express yourself artistically, write in your journal, or seek professional help.

October 17

The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.

—MARIANNE WILLIAMSON

If everyone in the world were to hold on to all their past resentments and cling to their pain, there would be no hope for the future because everyone would be angry and bitter, glued to their past. The practice of forgiveness is powerful beyond words. Forgiveness is an infectiously beautiful act of humility. It means you are able to put aside your ego and decide that it’s better to be happy and at peace than to be “right.”

Goal:
Invest your energy in things that make you happy and don’t worry about being right.

October 18

Never give up.

We’ve all heard this phrase countless times in our lives. It’s only through living this motto that I’ve come to understand why so many clichéd phrases are so truthful. Sometimes when your dreams and your faith are challenged it’s not that all hope is lost. Instead it means you’re being tested. When you rise above the challenges and show the universe that you want it in spite of everything, your prayers will be answered and your dreams will be fulfilled.

Goal:
Think about what it is you really love doing in this life and keep chasing it.

October 19

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.

—ZIG ZIGLAR

Just remember: Whatever goals you are working on right now, you have to work at them every day. It’s not enough just to write out your goals and visions for the future; you have to work hard to get anything in life.

Goal:
Make a point to spend every day of this month doing at least one thing to bring you closer to your goal.

October 20

If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin.

—IVAN TURGENEV

Don’t sit around and wait for the timing to be just right. There’s no such thing as a perfectly opportune moment. Had I waited for the perfect moment to start my career, I wouldn’t be where I am today. So work hard and dream big. You just have to go out there and make it happen for yourself.

Goal:
Stop procrastinating a goal you have.

October 21

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.

—RODIN

So much of my journey and life has been about figuring out who I am. I used to think that if I didn’t already know everything then I never would. Now I’ve come to realize that it’s the process and the journey that have defined me and made me whole. It’s taking risks, trying new things, and continuing to grow and learn that matter the most. I know I’m being guided toward it, and that’s enough. I want to keep growing, keep learning, and exploring. Embrace the unknown because that’s where all the magic lies.

Goal:
Be grateful for your journey because it is yours alone.

October 22

When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.

—PAULO COELHO

Love is the ultimate healer, the best remedy. Love makes all things possible. It empowers us and allows us to become more open and compassionate than we ever dreamed. There is no such thing as loving too much. People will be grateful that you are able to love with all your heart.

Goal:
Use your love and the love from others to heal yourself.

October 23

So starting today, I’m breaking out of this cage. I’m standing up, I’ma face my demons.

—EMINEM, “NOT AFRAID”

Whatever you have been through in life there’s always an opportunity to break out, to break through your struggles. Many of us have to experience something really horrible before we can get to the other side. Regardless of where you are at this moment, don’t forget that it gets better and that you always have a choice to ask for help and face your demons.

Goal:
Look inside yourself, gather all your strength, and stare down what’s holding you back.

October 24

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

—MARK TWAIN

As an artist, you have to be fearless about pursuing your dreams. You have to be willing to leave your comfort zone to grow not only as a human being but to push your own boundaries. I encourage anyone chasing dreams to be fearless; go into emotional areas that aren’t always comfortable or comprehensible.

Goal:
Do something out of your comfort zone today. Some-times the things that scare us help us grow.

October 25

Never expect, never assume, never ask, and never demand. Just let it be. Because if it is meant to be, it will happen.

When we learn that we can only control our actions in this life, it seems confining and even unsettling because on some level we all want to feel like we’re in complete control. But when I thought more about this I came to a deeper understanding that actually made me feel free. Some things may happen exactly as you planned and others may not, but in the end it will be exactly as it should be.

Goal:
Think about one thing in life you have no control over right now and find peace in that.

October 26

When anger rises, your conscience falls, so be aware of your self-righteousness and try to see it from all points of view.

Anger is such a powerful emotion, so much so that when we really experience it, it has the tendency to cloud our judgment and our ability to reason. We have to accept our feelings but also know that when we don’t regulate our anger it has the ability to destroy our common sense.

Goal:
Don’t let your anger get the best of you. Think rationally and be careful of how your emotions affect others.

October 27

We can’t change the world unless we change ourselves.

—BIGGIE SMALLS

As imperfect beings on this earth it’s important to always stay open, to keep growing and expanding. When we change ourselves and seek to improve our lives we make the world a better place.

Goal:
Join a philanthropic cause—do your part in the world.

October 28

You can’t live your life for other people. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if it hurts some people you love.

—NICHOLAS SPARKS

Celebrate your independence today and the fact that you can make your own decisions. It’s impossible to please everybody around you but it is always possible to make the right choices to please yourself. In the end that’s all you can worry about.

Goal:
Don’t make decisions based on other peoples influences or advice.

October 29

I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.

—ANNE FRANK

If Anne Frank, who went through such unimaginable trauma, could still maintain a positive attitude and believe in the goodness of others, then I can too.

Goal:
When you’re feeling sorry for yourself or need perspective—think of how good your life actually is. You are blessed.

October 30

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.

—HELEN KELLER

The fact that this quote came from someone who couldn’t even see is so profoundly beautiful. She was able to see the light within herself and within each of us just by shifting her perspective; this attitude is so admirable and something we can all learn from.

Goal:
Choose to surround yourself with positivity and you will be able to handle any challenges.

October 31

One of the scariest things in life is when you come to the realization that the only thing that can save you is . . . yourself.

There came a time, after treatment, when I realized no matter how many people I leaned on, nobody was going to save me unless I saved myself. Change comes from within, not from other people. You can’t force someone to change.

Goal:
Look inside yourself and honestly answer the question, do I need guidance?

November 1

You have to stand up for yourself because nobody else will.

There have been times in my life when I knew there was something wrong about the way I was being treated but I was too afraid or shy to stand up for myself. It can be really hard and scary for people, because I think we’re afraid that we will be liked less. But if you don’t stand up for what you believe in, then you will get taken advantage of. Whether it’s intentional or unintentional, it feels just as awful. I believe that when you start standing up for yourself, you will actually be respected so much more.

Goal:
Stand up for yourself with grace and confidence; own your power.

November 2

Love yourself today ’cause, baby, you were born this way.

—LADY GAGA, “BORN THIS WAY”

Often when you’re bullied or teased, it will have negative and lasting effects. When I was younger, I was losing my identity because I was changing things about myself the bullies didn’t like. One day, I realized I was no longer myself. I needed to love who I was and who I’d always been. Once I found that, I was able to feel better about myself.

Goal:
Never sacrifice yourself by trying to conform to other people’s standards.

November 3

Be kind to unkind people, they need it the most.

—ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT

When you start observing strangers you will find that some people seem truly happy while others seem like they’re angry at the world. Don’t take it personally because those people are suffering on the inside. Think about the miserable-looking guy in line next to you or the security guy at the airport yelling at everyone; those people are obviously yelling because of something negative they are feeling on the inside. They need kindness the most and they will most likely be extremely touched you reached out even if they don’t know how to show it. If you’re vulnerable with them, they will most likely be vulnerable with you.

Goal:
Today, respond to anger in a positive manner.

November 4

This is a good sign, having a broken heart; it means we have tried for something.

—ELIZABETH GILBERT

There will always be times when we try genuinely for something and end up feeling disappointed. It means that you were willing to take a risk. Even though the pain can hurt I hope you remember that it’s a good sign because it shows you care. It’s a reflection of all the love you have inside of you.

Goal:
Love fearlessly and bravely with all your heart.

November 5

Nobody deserves your tears, but whoever deserves them will not make you cry.

—GABRIEL GARCíA MáRQUEZ

There will be plenty of people who will bring you to tears in life or at least make you feel like you want to cry. Those people do not deserve your tears. The people who will be there to comfort you when you cry and help you wipe them away are the ones who will never make you feel that way.

Goal:
Do your best to surround yourself with people who will comfort you and help lift you up when times are hard.

November 6

We should regret our mistakes and learn from them, but never carry them forward into the future with us.

—L. M. MONTGOMERY

We already know that no one is perfect, but knowing that doesn’t keep us from doing things we might feel badly about later. I’ve found in times like that it’s best to come clean and own your mistake. People will be so much more forgiving and sympathetic when you are honest about it because they can relate. Even better, you will inspire them to do the same thing by showing them how honest and beautiful you can be without being perfect.

Goal:
Tell on yourself today about something you feel badly about having done or said in the past month.

November 7

Honestly have you ever been honest with yourself.

—TERMINAL, “DARK”

In life we often need to reevaluate where we are and the things that we’re feeling. I remember hearing this lyric and thinking, wow, am I being myself right now or just trying to fit in to whatever society wants me to be? It’s always helpful to remind yourself to always stay true to who you really are.

Goal:
Discover yourself and don’t compromise your values.

November 8

I dream of painting and then I paint my dream.

—VINCENT VAN GOGH

Your dreams are amazing gifts. All my life I dreamed about being a performer. I wanted to sing, dance, and act. Those dreams allowed me to go after what I really wanted. Now that I’ve acted on my dreams, I’m thankful for where I am today.