Stepping Up To Love (Lakeside Porches 1) (21 page)

She turned to look at him and gave him a sad smile. “Yes, absolutely. It could really help us a lot, and I might never have thought of it. Probably Lyssa never thought of it either.”

“Are you and Lyssa in touch with each other?”

Manda told Joel about the graduation card and told him they talked every few months by phone just to stay in touch.

“But you’re not close?”

Manda shook her head. “The marijuana maintenance plan, remember?”

“How could I forget?” Joel said wryly. “Well, if there’s money in trust, it may take some legal intervention to track it down and release it to you, but it’s worth pursuing. Any effort to contact you probably hit a dead end, since you and Lyssa had both moved away and moved several times. Manda, I can see this is a downer for you. I’m sorry.”

Manda felt tears threatening. “No, it’s really helpful. I just haven’t thought about their deaths. That got left off my inventory.” Joel covered her hands with his, and she felt his warmth deep inside. 

“I’ve really missed your touch.”

He squeezed her hands. “Do you want to talk, or do you need to be alone?”

“I think right now I need to call Lyssa.”

“Why not call from here?”

When she agreed, he handed her his smartphone and excused himself.

Manda heard his bedroom door close. She reached Lyssa on the first try.

Lyssa had not given any thought to an inheritance but she did remember the blow-up with Aunt Estelle. “She just gave away all our records and books and trashed the posters. Yeah, that was the first and only time I heard about our trust. Aunt Estelle threatened to block it until we were old and gray. Well, thirty, like you said. I totally haven’t thought of it since.”

Lyssa also remembered the name of the judge and gave it to Manda. “Hey y’all let me know what you find out, ya hear?” Lyssa said in her adopted Texas twang.

“I will. Thanks, Lyssa. I love you.”

“Oh, gol’, I love you too, lil sis. You know I want you out here.”

“I’ll come visit when I can. I’m sober now. I have a few months.”

“No foolin’? How it is for you?”

“It’s way better, Lyssa. I’m happy. I want you to be happy, too.”

“Maybe. How y’all doing it?”

“AA. It’s working. You okay, Lyssa?”

“Course I am. Don’t you be worryin’ ’bout me.”

“Call me on my new cell” Manda gave her the number.

She stood staring out at the rain for a while until she felt Joel’s hands on her shoulders. She turned to him and welcomed his strong arms around her. She breathed in the clean smell of him and rested her head against his shoulder until she found her voice. “She remembered the judge’s name. Can you help me figure out the next steps?”

“I’ll make some inquiries. We’ll see where it leads.”

Manda pulled back to look in his eyes. “Sometimes I wish you’d met me when I was grown up instead of at the beginning.”

Joel’s smile blossomed. “It’s pretty fascinating this way.”

Manda was a regular at the women’s meeting in Clifton Springs on Fridays instead of Joel’s meeting in Tompkins Falls. She rarely saw Joel at meetings, but, to her delight, she saw his sponsor Phil every Wednesday at his Big Book meeting.

Phil had founded the meeting several years earlier as a way for members to study and discuss the “bible” of Alcoholics Anonymous, which they referred to as the Big Book. She quickly learned that Phil was a local expert on the AA literature, particularly the Big Book, and she loved hearing him and the other old timers talk about it.

Most weeks, Phil invited Manda and a few other newcomers to join him after the meeting for cold drinks on his big back porch on the lake. Conversation freely ranged from summer concerts, to the fracking controversy, to the local economy, to Middle East hot spots.

One Wednesday, Manda was the only taker for the back-porch gathering. Phil shushed her when she tried to bow out, and asked her to carry the jug of iced tea out to the big round table. “I’m getting old, you know,” he laughed.

“You don’t look it, Phil,” she assured him. “You look like you walk every day and probably play a few rounds of golf every so often."

“Well, you’re right on both counts,” he told her. “But I’m seventy-eight, and that boy of ours is wearing me out this summer.”

Manda diverted her attention to the lake.

Phil tolerated her silence a while before gently prompting, “Are you going to ask me about him?”

“I haven’t seen him very much.”

“Do you want to?” he probed.

“When I see him, it’s good—really good. But things got more complicated than I could handle, so I took my sponsor’s advice and backed off Joel’s and my relationship to focus on recovery for a while and work and, mostly, just growing up.”

“Who’s your sponsor, Manda?”

“Gwen Forrester.”

“Good woman. Very experienced sponsor and counselor. Did she tell you to stop seeing him?”

“No, more like change the emphasis, back off the personal intensity for a while.”

“Do you love him?”

“I think so, Phil. I care about him and admire him and enjoy him. I’m just not sure what love is or how to do it. Half the time I feel like a whacky teenager. Gwen says that’s early recovery, and it will get better.”

“You said the relationship got too complicated. What did you mean? Sex?”

Manda shook her head. “I didn’t realize, until we argued after Joel’s party, that Joel is somehow involved with Lorraine. Now, I mean, in the present, and I don’t know how to sort out a relationship with him under those circumstances.”

When Phil was quiet a while, Manda looked at his face. It was in shadow, and she couldn’t read him.

Phil told her, “He feels guilty for what happened to Lorraine after he ended the engagement, and he’s stuck there. He’s letting her choreograph his role in her revenge against Kristof. It’s wearing me out. I’m glad you have the good sense to stay out of it.”

“Revenge,” Manda said in a spooky voice. “It sounds like another bad movie with Kristof as the villain.”

“That’s a good way to put it. And our boy has no business playing out revenge fantasies; his own or anyone else’s. But I can’t get through to him on that point. He’s not being a sober AA acting the way he’s acting.”

“What are he and Lorraine up to? Do I want to know?”

“It involves developing Cady’s Point as a high-end gated community.”

Manda laughed in disbelief.

“Why’s that funny?”

“It’s just stupid,” Manda said. “I mean (A) it’s not revenge, unless I’m missing something; how does that hurt Kristof? And (B) it’s not consistent with Joel’s way of doing business; he’s a benefit-the-community, maybe-for-profit kind of businessman. And (C) Cady’s Point is a place of spiritual healing and ought to be developed as a retreat center or rehab or something like that. What they’re doing is just stupid.”

“Well, Manda, you’ve got all the arguments, and I wish you’d sock it to him. I’m sick of arguing with him about it. As for their relationship, it’s nonsense to think Joel is ‘involved with’ Lorraine. He’s fronting her business deal, nothing more.”

Manda pressed her fingertips to her forehead. “Gwen said something just like that.”

“And what was that?”

“When I said Joel seemed to be having a relationship with Lorraine, she said probably Lorraine was planning something and Joel was just going along with it.”

“Bingo!” Phil shouted. “Gwen’s known him longer than anyone, and she’s hit the nail right on the head. He’s feeling guilty and he’s going along with Lorraine’s wishes.”

Manda let out a huge sigh. “That makes me feel worse, not better. Joel told me he’s seeing a therapist. Did you know that?”

“Yes. I kept after him to do that after the fiasco with you on his anniversary. It’s not your job to save him from himself, Manda” Phil cautioned. “I guess it’s not my job either.” He was quiet another minute, and Manda could feel the weariness and agitation in the older man. It wasn’t good for his health to be worrying about Joel.

Save him from himself? Is Phil being dramatic, or is Joel going off the deep end?
Manda asked pointedly, “You think Joel is self-destructing?”

“Probably not. But I’m seriously concerned, just the same,” Phil told her. “I took the liberty of putting in a call to his Uncle Justin.”

Manda kept her voice light. “Where is Uncle Justin these days?”

Phil shook his head. “I only know he’s not answering his voicemail. Could be taking walkabout through the Australian Outback, for all I know.”

“Do you have an email or Twitter or Facebook name for him? Is his last name Cushman?”

Phil chuckled. “Manda, I have no idea what you just asked me, but his last name is Cushman, yes.”

“I’ll see what I can find out. And just maybe I’ll have that promised conversation with Joel about his various business plans. See if I can bring the conversation around to this stupid one he’s got going with Lorraine.”

“You, young lady, have a good mind. And Joel is crazy about you, and he listens to you.” Phil brightened. “I will plant the seed. I feel more hopeful now.”

Manda leaned over to kiss his scratchy cheek. “It’s nice when I can give back to you guys, even a little, for all you’ve done for me.”

The next sunny day she took a walk on the grounds of the Manse after work instead of going to the lakeshore. Joel met her on the path, and she knew it was not a chance meeting. “Just wondering how you are,” he told her and stood a few feet away.

She smiled and nodded. “I’m doing well, thank you. It’s nice to be part of the staff. I appreciate the way you and Dan are giving me more responsibility. Any suggestions for me?”

The question surprised him. As the first part of his answer, he did a wordless scan of her clothes and demeanor and gave an approving smile. “No suggestions. You’re doing a good job.” He gestured to the path as an invitation to walk together. Manda fell into step with him. “You asked once about the business plan for the Manse. I don’t know if that’s something you still want to hear?”

“Very much.” Manda knew they needed to use their formal voices at work, but it was a strain for her.

Joel told her, “I’m sure you’ve noticed that the Manse is not a big money-maker, nor was it intended to be.”

“We almost operate as a not-for-profit?”

“That’s a good way to frame it. Obviously we don’t have that status and can’t, but profit was not the motive. The impetus for the Manse was twofold; to do something useful with my family home and to do it in a way that benefits the local economy.”

Manda looked at him sideways. “You grew up in this mansion?”

“I did. The mansion was not where I wanted to live when I came back to this area. I looked at the level of luxury and fine taste the place represented, and knew it would appeal to wealthy clients and to locals who wanted a very special venue for weddings and the like.

“In phase one, the house was the core of a luxury inn and spa. After a few years, we added the function rooms and more exercise facilities. At this point in time, the function rooms—large and small—represent the bulk of the income. Our largest expense is—"

“Buildings and grounds, right?”

“Exactly. Maintaining the façade is critical to the business, and the cost of that is factored into our packages for business meetings, corporate retreats, weddings, bridal and baby showers, wine tours, and so on.” He turned to her, “Want me to stop?”

Manda shook her head. He was on a roll, and she wanted to hear whatever he had to say.

“Our catchment area is more than regional; we draw from New York City and the corporate headquarters in the greater New York metropolitan area. I don’t think we’ve had a corporate training event or corporate retreat since you’ve been on staff, have we?”

Manda shook her head.

“The downturn in the economy impacted that aspect of the business, but we have one coming up in July. You’ll see activity this month as we upgrade the training rooms with new technology. In fact, a technology specialist from St. Basil’s has done the design for us and will be consulting through the implementation. You may want to stop by and introduce yourself.”

“I will, thanks.”

“We need to watch our time,” Joel was still using his manager voice. “On the way back, ask me questions and tell me what you think we could add or do different.”

The path back to the Manse was clear. Joel put his hand on Manda’s back as they walked, and she relaxed under his touch.

“I’ve always wondered why there’s no development of the lakefront.”

“What did you have in mind?”

“At the very least, a gazebo and lighted paths along the shore would have romantic appeal for the weddings and weekend packages. The shoreline seems like a natural for a big dock for swimming, a few moorings for lake residents who come for dinner. I’m sure it opens up safety issues, but there are many possibilities for water activities for families.”

“That last would move us into the ‘resort’ category, and you’re right, it comes with a host of safety issues. To be honest, I never thought of the dock and moorings, because I’m not a boater.”

“That surprises me.”

“Sea sickness. I don’t do boating, and I don’t think about it.”

“Do you swim?”

“I do and I love it. We’re debating: build a pool or promote the lake?”

“You know my vote.”

“Lake?”

“Lake.”

“Your gazebo idea has real potential.”

Manda laughed. “And it’s not an original idea, right?”

Joel chuckled. “It’s actually in the plans for this year, now that the fitness trails are in place.”

“I’m hearing that you want exterior changes to be kept natural.”

“Yes, very much.”