Stranded On Christmas (11 page)

“
I’ll
make this memorable. You will never embarrass me in church again.
Grab onto the edge of the table and don't let go.”

I
wrapped my finger around the edge and held on tight. He paddled hard
and fast. It didn't take long, and I was stomping my foot on the
floor. I was bucking wildly, but I didn't let go. I was basically
standing next to the table. I tried to lie back down, but he never
took a break, so I couldn't.

He
was still really going at me. He scolded me, but I couldn't
understand him over my own noises. I wasn't able to take this
quietly.

I
felt his hand on my shoulder. He was pushing me down. I was shaking
so bad that it hurt. It felt like a seizure.

Once
he had me lying down, my body slowly started to relax even though I
was sure that he would start in again.

I
really hated that cutting board, and I would enjoy chopping up the
leftover vegetables on it.

“
Calm
down, baby. It's okay. Just breathe.” His hand was still on my
shoulder and my panting was slowing down.

He
was a monster. How I could have ever trusted him and thought that he
was a great guy was impossible to piece together now.

“
When
you can, see to our lunch.” His hand moved away from my shoulder. I
heard the door and wondered if this was some sort of trick.

Was
he really finished? What about corner time?

Why
didn't he just let me go? We just didn't match well together. I would
never be a good homemaker. I was a businesswoman through and through.

When
I could, I got up and straighten myself up. I saw that I was really
alone in the kitchen. I lifted the heavy pot out of the oven even
though I felt like I was going to pass out. I removed the lid and
basted the meat before I put it back in the oven.

This
whole housewife game was exhausting me. I wasn't used to hard work.
Why couldn't he understand that?

Besides,
I had a headache. I got myself a glass of water and slowly drank it.
I often suffered from headaches. Water usually helped.

I
forced myself to wash off the table and set it. Just one thought went
through my head. How much more could I take? This constant work and
punishment was too much for me. I wasn't tough. I was a softy.

I
felt sick to my stomach. I moved slower than before and couldn't pull
myself together.

Gideon
came in and sat down. I pulled out the roast again and cut him a
piece and added vegetables before I laid it down in front of him. I
made myself a plate, but I just wasn’t hungry. I sat down across
from him and folded my hands.

He
started to pray, and I started to cry. Sitting hurt me, and I just
couldn't take it anymore. I sniffled as quietly as I could, but I
could hear that he was getting mad. First, when he was finished
praying did he look at me.

I
was making him mad, but I wanted to yell at him and curse him. If he
wanted a maid, he should have hired one and not just kept some poor
woman who happened by, namely me. My inner battle to hold my tongue
wasn't going well.

In
my head I was a badass who had very clever things to say, but in
reality I was sniffling at the table, trying not to cry.

I
was just so tired that I had to cry. My bottom was sore and it hurt
to sit. I wanted to go home and have a nap on my sofa and maybe take
a couple of aspirin.

“
Just
leave. Get up and leave, but when I get up to our room I better find
you ready for me with the belt laying next to you on the bed.”

I
had already stood up when he started to speak, and I was walking away
from him. When he continued to give me instructions, I turned to look
at him. I walked right into the doorframe with my left shoulder.

I
was still looking at him, so I saw that he almost stood up. He had
looked worried, even concerned, but I needed to get away from him as
quickly as I could. I had been crying before, and now I just couldn't
control myself.

I
wasn't even sure what I had done wrong this time. Was he going to
punish me because I had cried at the table?

I
hurried up and went to the bathroom, thinking that I just couldn't
take three major spankings on one day.

Why
did he think that I would love him again if he kept punishing me?
This week had been hell.

I
got ready quickly, knowing that he could eat fast when he wanted.

I
lay down on the bed and waited. The first thing he would see when he
came in would be my upturned backside.

I
was fighting to stay awake.

He
still wasn't here, and I was getting really unsure. I went through my
mind, thinking about what he had told me to do. I was kind of sure
that he said I should be here.

Today
was the first day of the year. We hadn't celebrated.

Tomorrow
I would be missed. No one would think to look for me here: half
naked, lying over Gideon Thompson’s bed, waiting for a spanking.

This
was my life now. I wouldn't be getting away. I had to somehow make
peace with him, but he was still so mad at me for turning him down.

In
my mind I often went back and time and reacted differently to his
proposal. My daydreaming made me fall asleep. I imagined myself
accepting his proposal and softly explaining about my company and
employees. In my dreams he was kind and listened to me. He kissed me
like he did before.

I
felt loved and absolutely adored as I fell asleep.

Gideon

I
was kind of mad at myself for scolding her like I had. I cleaned up
the kitchen before I went up to her. I had wanted to say that I
wouldn't punish her, but I didn't want to hear her begging to get out
of punishments either.

I
needed to think before I sentenced her to any punishment. I just had
to pause for a moment before I said anything, contemplate it, and
then inform her that she had a punishment coming and what it would
be, confident that what I was saying was right.

Quietly,
I walked up the stairs. I didn't want her to hear me coming. If she
would scramble around at the last second to get into position, I
wanted to know about it.

The
door squeaked as I opened it. I made a mental note to oil it but then
immediately crossed it off my to do list. I wanted to hear if she was
trying to run away at nighttime.

What
kind of marriage could we have when I was constantly worried that she
would run away the second I turned my back on her?

I
pulled the door open wide and saw her pale body lying over the bed
the way I had told her to do it. I was kind of disappointed. If she
hadn't obeyed me, I would feel more like punishing her.

She
wasn't moving. Her hands were laying left and right next to her head
and not reaching out and grasping the blankets like she normally did.
I moved closer to her and listened.

She
was sleeping. She slept in church, and now she wasn't taking this
serious. I picked up my work belt, which she had gotten ready, and
really let it crack across her behind. I'd teach her to take me
seriously.

She
jerked to life, and her hands reached back.

“
I
guess that means extras. You must love corner time.”

She
cried then but not in her normal way. It sounded like I had broken
her heart. I took a step back and looked down at her. She was all
red. She had only cried. Now she was too scared of me to sit down at
the table without crying.

This
wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to kiss her and have her smile at me
again, like before. We had been happy, both of us. But then she
admitted that she had been playing with me.

I
was suddenly very upset with her again. I stepped back and belted her
hard while she screamed and sobbed.

My
anger was spent. Those two blows were enough. I laid the belt down
next to her. She was crying very softly.

“
Get
into your corner.”

She
slowly got up and stumbled over. She reached out and pressed her
fingertips into the wall. I could hear her saying something.

“
Are
you praying?” I asked.

“
Yes,
sir.”

I
tried to listen to what she was saying, but she was being too quiet.
I just stood there looking at her. I could hardly believe that I was
in a room alone with a woman who was my wife.

I
had pictured myself being happily married. Of course, I would have
had to punish her when she did something unacceptable, but she never
would have been punished a couple of times in one day.

I
heard her say the words
'watch over me'.
She wanted God to
watch over her.

That
was actually my job.

Whatever
she was saying, she was repeating it again and again. She was rocking
back and forth on her feet. She was really upset.

I
was the world's worst husband. I needed to get over what happened and
move on. She was my wife now, and that was all that mattered. The
fiasco of our wedding should be forgiven and forgotten now.

When
she settled down a little, she noticed that I was standing behind
her. She peeked back at me, but then her head shot back to the wall.
She was shaking a little. I never thought that my wife would be
afraid of me.

“
Okay
baby, let's get this over with.” I didn't want this anymore. I had
been cruel all week, and now I just wasn't that mad anymore. I just
wanted her to like me again, but that didn't seem likely with all of
these punishments.

She
nodded and moved herself back over the bed side of the bed. I caught
a glimpse of her face as she past by. She was frowning, and I felt
sorry for her.

What
was I doing wrong, besides everything?

I
just didn't know any other way to get her to stay.

I
quickly dealt out the extra blow and put away the belt. “I cleaned
up the kitchen for you, but that was a one time deal. In this house
we clearly divide women's work from men's work. You may take a nap
now, but when I wake you, I expect you to be pleasant. Have I made
myself clear?”

“
Yes,
sir.”

I
left and went about my chores, having her here was time consuming.
She wasn't that big of help.

I
checked on her two hours later. She was asleep in bed, naked. I knew
that she was really sore, but her breasts were peeking out.

I
was hard and ready for my sleeping beauty. I quietly got undressed
and joined her under the covers. I kissed her cheek to wake her up.

She
reached out and laid a hand on my shoulder. I kissed her some more,
and she really woke up and just looked scared of me.

I
kissed her and told her how beautiful she was.

I
had been clear that we would be making love every night before we
went to bed, and I knew that she liked that. She told me so while we
were making love, but she was just tolerating me at the moment. I was
scaring her.

I
had to stop, but I really didn't want to. The feeling her body gave m
when she was in my arms felt so right.