Stripping Asjiah II (13 page)

I awoke the next morning curled up in the chair covered in one of her hand knitted quilts. I don‟t remember falling asleep or at what time I dozed off, but being pregnant had finally caught up to me and my body shut down.

My mind was usually overflowing with all kinds of miscellaneous thoughts but last night I didn‟t dream at all. Instead I allowed the constant beat of a tiny little heart to play a lullaby in my ears that eventually sung me to sleep.

In the kitchen I could hear the clanging of pots and pans, mixed in with the sizzling of bacon, and Grandma-me humming. The scent of oatmeal sent a wave of nausea through my body and within seconds I was on my knees hugging the toilet.

I didn‟t have an extreme case of morning sickness like most girls but of course there were certain things I couldn‟t eat or tolerate the smell of.

After spitting up parts of the cookies I ate last night, I brushed my teeth, coiled my hair into a bun, and went into the kitchen where a cup of tea was waiting for me.

She handed me a plate with bacon, scrambled cheese eggs, and a cranberry muffin. Grandma-me took a seat across from me and stirred the bowl of oats that had caused me to vomit moments before. I covered my mouth as the familiar queasy feeling began to fester in my stomach.

“Oh Pooh Bear, I‟m sorry.” She got up and dumped the oatmeal back into the pot trading it for the same thing she had just fixed for me.

Laughing I rubbed my stomach as the baby began to calm down. “I guess I should‟ve told you all the things little pooh doesn‟t like.”

“It‟s okay, I can eat that later. How did you sleep?” “Pretty good actually, I was really tired.”
“I could tell. I started to wake you so you could go upstairs to your room but you looked so peaceful.”
She stirred her tea in silence then cleared her throat.
“Are you okay Asjiah?
It was almost as if someone had pulled a light switch inside of my head and the dark room where I stored the things I tried to forget suddenly became illuminated for everyone to see.
“I can‟t go back there.”
“Go back where sweetie?”
“To Marie‟s house,” I knew if I looked in her eyes long enough I would begin to cry so I picked up our dishes and carried them over to the sink.
“She doesn‟t want me there anyway, so why should I stay somewhere that I‟m not wanted?”
“If someone has hurt you Asjiah, I need to know.” Flashbacks of my rape began to replay in my mind and I wanted to tell her what happened. I wanted her to have some special wand that would make everything okay but I knew she didn‟t. I walked over to her, kissed her on the cheek, and lied.
“I‟m okay; I would just rather be here with you.” If I told her the truth I knew she would call the police. I also knew they wouldn‟t catch him. Even if they did, jail wasn‟t enough to appease the pain he had caused me. I harbored so much hate towards him, so many ill feelings.
I wanted a more severe punishment than any jury could ever grant him, I wanted him to experience something far worse than what might happen to him in prison. I wanted his life. And now that I knew he was alive, if given a second chance, I was going to take it.

A fter breakfast I got dressed and began my hour long journey to Mansfield to see Angel. As I drove, the sun seemed to race above me behind trees that had begun to shed their leaves a sign of winter‟s approach.

Three bathroom breaks later, I pulled into the parking lot.
I noticed the warm rays that had danced throughout the sky just moments ago, now gave way to dismal clouds that loomed over the prison.
I was glad to see that the tacky guard, who was there the first time I visited, wasn‟t in attendance. I didn‟t have the energy to put up with his weak ass pick up lines and I was sure if I smelled his breath, I would throw up in his face.
I went through all the formalities and soon found myself waiting to be buzzed in through the huge metal door that would then lead me across a small courtyard and into the visiting room.
The C.O. that questioned my relationship to Angel kept his eyes glued to the newspaper he was reading as I approached the sign in desk. I was certain Angel had exchanged words with him, now he was afraid to talk to me. It was crazy that although he was the one being detained, he still put fear into people‟s hearts.
I followed the same routine as before and after getting snacks out of the vending machine I found a place in the corner for us to sit.
“Little baby,”
I was afraid that baby Jai would move as Angel hugged me tightly. I wasn‟t ready to tell him I was pregnant yet.
“How are you?” He looked just as neat and well kept as the last time I saw him.
“I‟m straight, what‟s up with you?”
“Actually I need to tell you something.”
The entire drive up here I was debating on whether or not I should tell Angel about Cash. I didn‟t want to upset him or cause him to worry but then again, he had the right to know that this fucking creep wasn‟t dead.
“Cash is alive.”
I could tell he was grinding his teeth by the way his jaw moved, the wrinkles in his forehead let me know that he wasn‟t too pleased with the news.
“What?”
“He was in my room.”
Angel ran his hands across his face and sat back in his chair. “You saw him?”
“No. When I got home after coming to see you last time, I heard someone walking around upstairs but by the time I got up the courage to go up there, whoever it was, was gone.”
Angel put his head down and closed his eyes for a second before looking back up at me.
“Then how do you know it was him?”
“Seriously, who else could it had been Angel? That nasty son-of-a-bitch was in my closet doing who knows what to my clothes, and he nutted in my bed.” I shivered slightly at the thought of his semen splattered all over my sheets.
“So where did he go?”
“I don‟t know. One of my windows was open but I wasn‟t about to stick around and try to look for him so I packed all my shit up, took Bear, and went over Grandmame‟s house.”
I looked over at my brother and I knew he was thinking the same thing that had ran through my mind. How the hell could he be alive?
“I‟m gonna call Caleb and let him know where you‟re staying.”
“C‟mon Angel, I don‟t need a babysitter.”
“Look, as long as that nigga is somewhere out in the streets, I‟m not gonna be satisfied unless I have people that I can trust watching out for you.”
“People?”
Angel waved his hand and dismissed my comment. “Just do what I say A‟!” Heads turned our way as his voice rose.
“I can‟t let anything happen to you.”
I discreetly ran my hand across my stomach as the baby shifted. I had more to think about than just myself now.
“Fine,”
Angel‟s eyes went cold as he looked at me. “As much as I would love to handle that bitch myself, I can‟t touch him from in here. Just know that Caleb will have the go ahead to murk that nigga on sight if he has to.”
“Okay.”
He slouched slightly in his chair and I could tell from his body language that his attitude was back to normal.
“Now listen up because I gotta lot of shit to tell you ina small amount of time so pay attention.”
I felt like I should‟ve brought a notebook and a pen to take notes but I didn‟t want him to think I was incapable of handling the responsibility he was giving me so I cleared my thoughts and relied on my memory to file away everything he was getting ready to say.
“Pretty much the shit is just basic math. A bird is no less than 1,008 grams but the one‟s I get are 1,022. They usually go for anything from $16-24,000 a key but this part isn‟t really that important because you‟ll always pay seventeen flat. Ounces are $800, half is $400, a quarter is $200 and a ball is $100.”
Angel took a sip from his juice then looked at me to make sure I was still with him.
“Make sense so far?”
“Yeah, it makes sense.”
“Shit isn‟t hard to run; you just have to have your mind and your people right. In your case, the pieces have already been placed on the board; you just have to make the right moves.”
“Like chess?”
“Exactly,”
Normally Angel‟s analogies or metaphors sounded like broken Dr. Seuss poems but when he talked about drugs, you would think he had written a manual.
I waited patiently as he took a bite out of the turkey sandwich, wiped his mouth, and then continued. “Don‟t worry about shit on the streets, Caleb will help you out on that end and pretty soon someone else will come into the picture to smooth things out.”
I wanted to interject and ask him who this “someone else” was but I knew he would just keep talking in riddles and not give me a straight answer.
“Seriously A‟, if you don‟t get it, or you have a question, just ask me.”
I stuffed some chips in my mouth and waved my hand for him to continue. ”I‟m good.”
“If you need to, find a couple of gullible ass dudes and use them to be your holders and movers. Buy a couple of book bags, and when you‟re about to make a move; small or big, use them as pawns. Your holders should be the ones touching the dope, not you. Not unless you have to reup. That should be the only major time you‟re involved.”
“Am I gonna have to cut it?”
“Good question little baby.” Angel smiled as if he was a teacher and I was his star pupil. “You‟re gonna give it to them soft. By the time it gets up our way, it‟s already been stepped on.”
“Oh, ok.”
“So to me, a smart muthafucka would just bust it down and sell it. Let the buyers fuck it up at their own risk. One thing they will know is that they screwed it up and not you.” Angel put his hand together so they were touching at the fingertips. He looked me dead in my eyes and the tone in his voice got more serious.
“This shit‟s a business A‟, I‟m not on no fuck shit when I say this but don‟t get caught up with these lame ass niggas and don‟t put them on to shit.”
I broke the seal on my bottle of water and drank some before addressing him.
“I‟m not on these cornball ass little boys so you don‟t have to worry about that. Besides, half of them are scared to talk to me because they know I‟m your sister.”
“Good. Let them know that I‟ll beat the fucking brakes off they ass if they try some shit.” His eyebrows wrinkled up as they always did when he got angry.
“Now like I was saying, the reason why a lot of people don‟t make it in the game is because they live out of their means. Just because you‟re making money don‟t mean you have to be flashy.”
I laughed as I remembered one of my favorite movies. “That‟s why ol‟ boy and his wife got popped in Goodfellas; buying new cars, fur coats and shit.”
Angel‟s mood lightened up for a second as he smiled at me and laughed.
“Right, I could‟ve been out there pushing Benz‟s n‟ shit but things like that bring unwanted attention. All the more reason I bought you something simple like a Civic. It‟s a cute little girlie car, nothing that you wouldn‟t have bought or couldn‟t have been given to you as a gift, feel me?”
“Yeah,”
“If you do choose to kick it or go out, do it somewhere else. Go to Columbus, down to Cincinnati, or someplace like that. Don‟t try to be Ms. Party all the time either. You‟re only doing this so you won‟t have to depend on anyone for shit. I‟m not always going to be there so I need to know that you‟re able to take care of yourself. All those runs I used to let you go on, all the times I used to let you watch me bag shit up, it was all for this moment. Use this as a stepping stone to start a business or something. Or use it to pay your way through college. Be smart about it so eventually you won‟t have to do what you‟re doing to get money.”
His eyes softened as he brushed my hair behind my ear. He looked as if he wanted to say something else; to tell me he was sorry that we were in this situation but now wasn‟t the time for emotions or weakness.
“I know I don‟t have to tell you this but if you get caught, don‟t say shit. No matter what kind of time they‟re trying to throw at you, no matter what kind of deal they‟re trying to offer you, don‟t talk. Loose lips sink ships, remember that.”
I grabbed his hand before he moved it away from my face and held it. “I‟ll be fine.”
“Alright, time‟s up!”
The correctional officers began to circulate through the room in an effort to wrap up everyone‟s visits and get the inmates back to their cells.
“And just like that it‟s over huh?” I brushed off my jeans and stood up.
“I guess so. Don‟t worry; I‟ll be home soon enough.”
“I miss you Angel.” My hormones were all over the place and I silently cursed myself as I hugged him and my eyes began to tear up.
“Don‟t go crying on me little baby. You‟re my sister so I know you‟ll be okay. And don‟t let that nigga Cash throw you off your shit. You‟re a Cappelli, we run from no man.”
Angel kissed my cheek and as I watched him walk away, I had a new found respect for my brother. Sure he had dropped out of high school but he had a certain kind of intelligence that you couldn‟t teach in a classroom or find in a book. He was a business man in every since of the word and I was his apprentice.

Danielle wiped her face trying to rid herself of the horrifying picture that Keyshia had just painted for her. She had told her everything starting with Vale and how she got turned onto threesomes and coke by him and his boy, the talk she had with Asjiah in the library, her sex tape and all the events in between that ultimately led up to her being in the hospital.

“I‟m so sorry.”
“Don‟t be. It was the life I chose, and the decisions I made that started all of this. I have no one to blame but myself.”
“So you have no idea who the guy was that attacked you?” Keyshia was silent for a minute before continuing. “No. I had never seen him before that day. I just hate to think that he‟s still out there. What if he knows I‟m alive? What if he knows that I‟m in here?”
“Do you have anywhere to stay? Are you planning on going home once you‟re released from here?” She chuckled and looked at her new friend, “You met my mother, would you go home to someone likethat?”
Danielle laughed, “Nah, I guess I wouldn‟t.” She took a minute to think about her offer before she put it on the table. Over the past few hours a bond had been formed between them and in a sense she felt responsible for her. God had placed her in her life for a reason and perhaps that reason was to look after her.
“You can stay with me if you want.”
Keyshia was shocked and confused all at the same time. What had she done to deserve such kindness? This girl had been by her bedside from the moment she found her and now she was offering her someplace to live? Her eyes watered with tears of joy as she began to cry.
“Come on, don‟t do that. You‟re gonna make me think that you‟re the one that‟s all bark and no bite and not Asjiah.”
Both girls laughed as Keyshia cleaned her face up.
“Seriously, my boyfriend is always in and out of town so you don‟t have to worry about him, it would be nice having someone around, besides we have an extra room anyway so you‟re more than welcome. You‟d also have your own bathroom so you don‟t have to worry about that either.”
“I mean, as long as you‟re cool with it, I don‟t want
to crowd your space.”
“Girl please; no worries. It‟ll be fun.”
“What‟ll be fun?” Walking into the room I casually sat down in the chair and looked at them; taken aback by how close they seemed to be.
“I see you‟re still here.” I half heartedly waved at Danielle then turned my attention to Keyshia. “Well hello Sleeping Beauty.”
“A‟, I…I,”
“You what, didn‟t expect me to be here? I was here almost every day when you were first admitted or didn‟t our little friend tell you that?”
Before she could respond I got up and walked over to her so I could get a better look at her face.
“The surgeons did a really good job, minimal scarring, you‟re healing up really well. I‟m glad you‟re doing better.”
Keyshia looked up at me with glazed eyes, “I thought you hated me, I thought you were coming here to gloat and give me a bunch of I told you so‟s.”
I was really beginning to despise my hormones and how baby Jai was making me super sensitive, I soon found myself fighting back tears.
“Who told you that? Keesh the last time we spoke we argued, we had opposing views, and you wanted to do something that I didn‟t want to be a part of. We both have really strong personalities so I didn‟t bother arguing with you. When I saw that tape I just felt like it was nothing I could do for you at that point. You were too far beyond my reach. I‟m sorry things turned out the way that they did but I love you. No matter what happens, nothing will ever change that.”
Keyshia extended her arms to hug me and I returned her embrace. For a moment we forgot Danielle was in the room until we heard her sniffling. We both looked at her and burst out laughing.
“Now what were you two talking about before I got here?”
“Danielle told me that I can stay with her until I get back on my feet.”
Still unsure of what role she played in all of this I turned to her eyebrow raised. “Oh did you? That‟s very nice.”
Sensing where I was going with this Keyshia cut me off.
“She‟s cool A‟. We talked and I told her everything.”
“She told me about her attack and it seems like we saw the same person.”
“What?” I was on the edge of my chair now. Danielle told me that she hadn‟t seen anyone when we were at the diner now all of a sudden she remembered who this nigga was?
“So you know him?” I looked from Keyshia back to Danielle waiting for them to shine some light on the situation.
“No, I don‟t remember his name but we both described the same person.” Keyshia shuttered as she thought of her assailant.
“And?”
“He‟s a black guy, tall, dark skinned, bald head, and…”
I couldn‟t breathe. I felt like my heart stopped along with baby Jai‟s. This was impossible. My palms began to sweat and my leg started to shake. Before she could form another word I finished her sentence for her, “He has a scar across his neck.”
Both girls looked at me petrified.
“How do you know him Asjiah?”
I joined them on the bed and tried to keep my composure, tears flooding my cheeks as all of the sordid details of my rape came back to the surface.
“Asjiah?”
“A‟ what‟s wrong?”
Danielle rubbed my back and Keyshia took my hand as they waited for me to say something. I looked from one girl to the other and allowed the cruel truth to spill out onto the sheets.
“He‟s my Uncle.”