Summer I Found You (12 page)

The phone rings again. Instead of answering—I’m avoiding too many people—I wait for a new message.

Now it’s safe to see who called.

“Hey…Connelly. It’s Melinda…Pilot. I got your number from Roberts who called in the middle of the night the other night, but I was up. Again. Anyway, he said you’re not too far from here, and I’d really like to see you. Please call…um, thanks…bye.”

Her words crash into me. Push me under. Pull me down. I can’t talk to her. I can’t see her. Because it’s not
just
her. It’s the wife of the guy I watched die. The wife who cooked this monster barbecue for all of us and made us promise to bring her husband home safe. I don’t know how to see her. How to face her.

I clutch my phone until my knuckles turn white, and nearly hurl it out the car window.

“How you liking the new wheels?” Foster leans into the car, and his face falls when we make eye contact. “What’s up?”

I jump when I realize he’s so close. “Melinda called.”

“And?”

“I’m not that far down on my list yet.” My body feels all numb and tingling.

“You need an outlet, Aidan.”

“Wanna add something to my list? Because it’s all feeling pretty fucked up right now.” I toss the phone into the passenger’s seat.

Foster pauses, probably ready to correct my language. “Nope. Just want to make sure you’re okay, have somewhere for your energy to go.”

“Okay. Thanks.” Maybe I’ll pick Kate up from school. That would be a nice place for my energy to go. And a hell of a lot easier than anything else I got going on.

The second Foster steps back I pull out of the driveway and head to Kate’s school to wait for her day to finish.

Kate’s whole face lights up, and it was worth it to come here for this. She’s not even trying to hide how big her smile is, which just makes her even prettier.

“Hey.”

This is exactly what I need right now. She’s the perfect distraction. Perfect. Kate—the feel of her, the smell of her, it pretty much blocks out everything else.

“Hey.” She walks toward me until she’s about arm’s length away.

Was our kiss a big deal? Should she be closer? Should I be doing something to get her closer?

“Are we okay?” she asks.

“Are we okay?” I’m confused.

Her cheeks flush. “I just wasn’t sure, you know, how you felt about…”

“Kissing you?”

Her lips are pushing together, but not hard enough to keep in her happiness. I reach my hand out and take hers. She’s pressed into me almost immediately, and I breathe her in.

“I like your new car.” But her eyes aren’t on the car—they’re on me. And her stomach’s against mine, and her breasts are pressing into me, and her hips are pressing into me.

“Really? ’Cause I think it’s boring.” And I can’t believe I found words with how she feels next to me.

“It’s an Edward Cullen car.” I swear she’s out of breath. Is it because of
me
?

“A what?”

“You know,
Twilight
. Edward Cullen. Sparkly vampire guy? Love interest in the Twilight movies? He drives this car exactly. At least in the first film.”

“Oh. Great.” I glance back, the guys are so going to give me crap over this—at least I didn’t
know
and can give them crap over that. “Well it’s fast, and most importantly, I can drive it.”

“So, are you really giving me a ride home?”

“I might expect a small payment, you know, maybe…”

But her lips are on mine before I can finish. This girl makes me crazy. She’s pressing our bodies even more tightly together as I lean on my car.

“Wanna show me the inside?” She’s out of breath, and her cheek is on mine until her lips hit my neck.

“Definitely.”

It’s a bit tricky maneuvering into the backseat with only one arm. I keep reaching out to support myself or to touch her, and nothing’s there. This is going to be frustrating, but Kate doesn’t seem to notice. She’s pulling me to her so hard that there really isn’t time for me to notice what I can and can’t do. I half fall on her and she laughs, leans forward, and bites my lower lip.

I’m not sure how much time we spend kissing in my car, but it’s like I can’t stop. Can’t take my mouth off of hers as long as she wants to move with me. My one arm is wrapped around her, holding her to me, and it’s okay. Not ideal because I want to touch her arm, stroke her hair and still keep a hand on her smooth back, but it’s still good.

“Wow.” She leans the tiniest bit away from me. “There’s more room in the backseat than I would have guessed.”

My face pulls into a smile, nothing but me and Kate, and I don’t have to care or worry about anything else right now. I push her hair

off her face. “You’re pretty.”

Her cheeks are immediately pink. I love embarrassing her.

“And you make me really like white t–shirts.”

“What?” I glance down. “Is that totally boring?”

Her eyes aren’t on my face anymore. Her fingers trace patterns on my chest, and down my stomach. These light little touches push waves through me. Waves of feeling Kate. Waves of blissful distraction.

“Careful.” I’m trying to tease, but my voice isn’t working right because I want her. Really want her. And this is not the place or the time or the way we should be doing anything more than what we’re doing. “You have me really turned on.”

“Sorry.” She jerks her hand away.

I grab her hand, and slide our fingers together. Something about how small her hands are makes me feel stronger, tougher, good. “Don’t be.”

Our eyes meet again. Our lips meet again for not nearly long enough. “If I’m not home soon, Mom’s going to flip.”

“Okay.” But part of me doesn’t want to move. I want to hang with her in the backseat of my car. We could talk. We could kiss. Maybe I could show her how turned on I get around her.

Her hands go up the back of my shirt, and the heat of her about makes me insane with how I want her. I slide my hand under her shirt, and up her smooth side. She gasps and pulls me closer. Kisses me harder. We’re both totally out of breath when she sits back.

“Maybe you could pick me up again sometime?” She’s not looking at me, but at my lips.

Pick her up again? Like a routine? That thought sends a prick into me. I’m not sure what it is, but this is the whole attached, boyfriend thing I’m not sure I can do. I don’t know
how
to do. But I look over her sweet face, and remember her hands on me, and know I’ll happily come back for more.

“I’m sure I’ll end up back here sometime.” Her face falls, just slightly before she kisses me again and crawls out of the back. Guess I’m going to have to be a little more careful about what I say to her.

Okay. I’ve got the packet from the community college spread out around me on the counter, and the History Channel’s playing my favorite show—
Mail Call
. I’m trying to get excited about something, but it’s not happening. I’m supposed to see the counselor tomorrow, and I have no idea what we’re going to accomplish if I walk in with a blank head. There was a brief time I thought about teaching, but school wasn’t easy for me, so it’s probably not the best option. My career was taken from me, and it’s a hard thing to get over.

I turn off the TV, and shift my weight on the stool, hoping that it’ll help me focus.

A knock at my door rescues me from my thoughts.

“Come in!”

Jen steps in. I’m pretty sure this is a first.

“What’s up?” I ask as I drop my pen. It still feels weird to hold the thing with my left hand. My handwriting is like a second grader’s scrawl—another thing that goes on the list of things I can’t do anymore.

She closes the door but doesn’t really move into the room. I’m on a barstool in the tiny kitchen waiting for her to say something.

“About Kate.” She sighs and folds her arms, so I know it’s probably going to be something I don’t want to hear.

My nerves settle in. “Yeah?”

“She…” But now her brows are all pulled down, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jen look anything but put together.

I sit and let her be nervous.

“Look, she’s my best friend, and…” She pauses for so long I start to get frustrated.

“
And?
” I don’t want to have this conversation. I have no idea how to be a good boyfriend to anyone, especially right now, but I don’t want to let her go. Maybe I’m hopelessly selfish for wanting to be around her, or maybe we both need distraction. I don’t know, but I do know I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t really want anything to taint how good she feels against me.

“She has a lot going on right now.”

“Don’t we all.” It takes conscious effort for me to not throw the pen into a window or against the wall.

“Right. I…” She pushes out air. “I’m sorry. I know you’re family, but I barely know you and I’m—”

“Looking out for your friend.” I’m trying to keep out what I’d like to tell her, and I’d kind of like to tell her to butt out. She’s the one who set us up in the beginning.

“Yeah, um, thanks.” She starts to turn, but stops.

“Something else?” I start to fold my arms, but again, one fucking arm doesn’t cross well. And I have no idea what exactly Jen wants from me.

“We used to use this place once in a while for movies and stuff, and since you like her, I thought maybe we could do a movie night here or something?”

“Is this ’cause you want to spy on me with your friend or because you’re trying to tell me it’s okay that I like her?” Mostly I’m confused as hell.

“Umm…both?”

I chuckle, and her whole body relaxes.

“Thanks for being honest,” I say.

“Yeah. I guess let me know when’s good for you.”

“Friday?” Do I sound too anxious? I’m not sure.

“Probably Friday, yeah. Thanks.” She gives me a brief wave before walking out the door.

Kate has a lot going on? What can possibly be going on? Also, she didn’t seem very hesitant in the back of my car. I mean, I thought a kiss would be nice, but that was…well, it was enough to push down some of the walls I’ve kept up between us, that’s for sure. At least I have Friday night to look forward to.

D
EENA AND I SIT
comatose in front of the TV. I’m still in shock over how Aidan made me feel in the back of his car. I’ve never been that way with a guy. I’ve never felt like that, like I wanted him to go further, and it’s crazy because I barely know him. And now I have this nervous anticipation over Friday and watching a movie at what’s sort of his house.

In Jen’s (now Aidan’s) small garage apartment was the furthest Shelton and I ever got—on a
movie night
. And that wasn’t all that far. Probably about on par with the backseat of Aidan’s new car. What’s with me?

“I’m so nervous.” Deena turns toward me, looking a little less pale than normal. I don’t think she’s been throwing up as much, but I’ve been pre-occupied.

“What’s up?” Do I want to know?

“Lane’s coming in this weekend.” She starts chomping on a fingernail—something I haven’t seen her do since she was in high school.

“And that’s good, right?” How long has she been here and not seen him?

“I hope so.”

“Well, I’m crashing at Jen’s on Friday. Movie night.”

Deena’s eyes are hard on me. “Aidan?”

I try so hard not to react, breathing slowly, and anything I can think of, but my stupid grin spreads anyway.

“Be careful with that boy.” She raises a brow.

“What boy?” Mom sets down two laundry baskets, and I can tell by the look on her face that not only is she about to butt in on our conversation, but she’ll want me to fold laundry as well.

“Aidan.” Deena grins poking me in the side.

This is kind of a dead giveaway that Deena and I may have talked about him once or twice, which is going to make it really difficult for me to convince Mom that he and I are no big deal—even though I don’t know what he and I are.

“He’s two years older than you.” Mom rubs her temple like she always does when stressed.

I push out a laugh. “Mom we’ve only…” Only what? Groped each other in the back of his car? Twice? Had a few sort of amazing moments while babysitting? Had a great day of driving around in silence while I skipped school? Can’t really talk to Mom about that.

“Only?” Mom prompts.

“Seen each other a couple of times. It’s not a big deal.” But as the words come out, I kind of think it is a big deal. At least it feels like a big deal.

“You split with Shelton not long ago and you two were together for quite a while.” Mom’s doing her eyebrow raised thingy that says—we both know this might not be the best idea.

I nod. “Yeah, but we were headed to different colleges anyway.” Because I’m getting out of here to join Jen at USC.

“And what are Aidan’s plans?”

“Mom! Seriously? I’m not marrying the guy! I’ve met up with him a couple of times and both were with groups of people!” No one else knows about the pick-up from school or the fabulous kissing in the back of his car. Just us. Us. Him and me. Me and him. His lips. My lips. His hand. My hands. And then I let out a giggle—not what I should be doing to convince Mom to let me spend time with him.

“Okay. Just remember that he’s dealing with a lot.” She frowns.

I pull in a breath and try on my best serious face. “Yeah. He lost his arm and a good friend. I get it.”

“You get it?” Her brows rise in disbelief.

No one could really understand what he’s been through, but he seems to be doing fine.

“Mom!” I’m completely exasperated. “When have you ever asked me so much about someone I may or may not even like?”

Mom shifts her weight to one leg. “Be careful. The age difference worries me, and so does his situation. I want you to know where I stand before you get involved.”

“Okay.” I fold my arms, and want to tell her that I think we’re done, but it probably wouldn’t be the smartest move.

“Mom?” Deena turns toward her. “Kate’s going to be in college next year. Two years is nothing.”

Wait. What? My sister who was worried a minute ago, is now okay with this?

Mom sighs and her eyes are on me. “We trust you, Kate.”

I can’t believe she’s pulling that card. “
Mom
.”