Summer I Found You (13 page)

“Don’t forget to check your blood-sugar while you’re out with friends. You tend to forget.” She does this weird almost moving thing, but pausing long enough to maybe show me that I’m lucky for getting off so easy because she has more to say. I’m not sure that I got off easy at all.

Since I’m still practically on house arrest after my doctor’s appointment, and then my high blood sugar read at school, Jen’s very nicely visiting me between all her student government/overachiever activities and make-out sessions with her boyfriend.

Our legs stretch out in front of us as we sit in front of my bed. I’m not sure why, but it always feels easier to talk when we’re on the floor.

“Have you and Toby had sex?” I whisper. “You two have been… together a lot lately.” I’m assuming she would have told me, but we haven’t seen each other much the past few days.

“Not yet.” She bites her lower lip as she holds in her smile.

“But you’re thinking about it,” I urge.

She nods. “It’s like I’m scared, but it’s Toby, so I’m not scared, you know? I mean, I know he’s going away to school, and the thought of us not staying together sucks, but we’re both smart enough to know it could go either way. I’m at the point where I know I love him, and I know he’s always going to be the guy I loved in high school no matter what happens over the next four years in college, and…”

“And you trust him and want him to be your first,” I finish.

“Yeah. Pretty much.”

“You guys still have all summer.” Only I’m pretty sure he’s staying in Oregon for college, and Jen and I are leaving.

“I know.” She smiles. “I know there’s a chance we could make it, but I realized it doesn’t matter either way because I love him right now.”

“Wow.” I lean my head on her shoulder. “He’s pretty awesome.”

“And you seem recovered.”

“From what?” I sit up.

She laughs. “Shelton.”

“Oh. Right.” I let out a breath. “It still sucks, but mostly because I wish he would have been honest with me, you know?”

“Because honesty is a big deal.” There’s this authority/mother tone in her voice that I’m not liking.

I lean away. “What?”

“Aidan really needs to know you’re diabetic if you guys are going to keep hanging out.” She purses her lips. “If you get all wonky it would be nice for him to know how to help.”

My jaw flexes in frustration. “I know. It’s just. It’s so nice to be around someone who isn’t always watching me for some sign of weakness. Does that make sense? I mean, especially right now with this whole text every blood sugar read to Mom and Dad. I’m tired of it all.”

Jen puts her arm around my shoulder. “It makes perfect sense, but the longer you wait, the more awkward it’s going to be.”

I nod. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll find a good time.”

Jen shakes her head. “You’re turning it into a big deal, Kate. Just tell him you carry a monster purse so you can check your blood sugar. No biggie.”

No biggie. Right. Because it’s not her that’s carrying half a pharmacy everywhere she goes.

E
VEN THOUGH I’M THINKING
about Kate a lot, I’m also trying not to set up some ridiculous thing where I’m picking her up every day. I almost text her four times to say I’ll get her, which I can’t make a habit of, so I jump in my car and head to Mom’s house to prevent starting that whole high school smothering thing.

I pick up McDonald’s for the twins on my way, figuring that should buy us at least a few minutes of talk time, and maybe buy my mom a sanity moment.

Mom opens the door immediately after I pull up and gives me grateful smile as she takes the two Happy Meal boxes from my hands.

In about two minutes Mom and I are on the couch together, while the twins stuff themselves with McDonald’s.

“How’s Kate?” She jumps right in, which I guess is good since we’re always short on time.

I suck in a breath. “She’s…” And now I’m smiling. “I like her, but don’t know how—”
To be a boyfriend
. Or if I can be right now.

“How what?”

“I don’t know what she wants or how to give it to her, or if I should, or if I should be leaving her alone.” It’s all sort of a mess, and I probably shouldn’t be thinking about it so much. I have a lot of other stuff that really needs to be sorted out.

“You really, really like her.” Mom sits sideways on her couch, resting an elbow on the back.

“Why do you say that?” I slouch lower so I look more relaxed than I feel, but there’s probably no point in doing that in front of Mom. She always sees through me.

“Because you’re putting her first. Not you. If you didn’t like her as much, you’d just be enjoying yourself and taking what she can give.” Mom’s lips are pressed together, making her look even happier because she’s trying not to.

“Maybe. I feel like I’m still getting to know her, even though she just says the most random things. Like I get the surface her, and not the real her.” It’s something I don’t know if I fully noticed until I say it out loud. The cool thing is that I want to know her better, and she doesn’t make me too nervous like some of the girls I’ve been around. Maybe this is a place where our age difference will help me.

“Do you want the real her?” Mom asks.

“Yes and no.” It’s scary. And it shouldn’t be because she’s just a girl.

“Then you’re being as careful as you need to be.” Mom rubs the back of her finger up my cheek. She’s done this since I started shaving. It’s her way of doing something over the top
Mom
while still showing she knows how grown up I am.

“She’s so much younger, you know?”

“I’m close with my sister and I’ve spent a bit of time around Kate. I think she’s lived a lot more life than she’s letting on.” And something passes behind my mom’s eyes that makes me wonder if she knows something I don’t.

“Maybe. And now I feel like a total girl for over-thinking the whole thing.”

“I’m glad you are. The only thing that I’m going to warn you about with her age is to let her decide how fast you two move, okay? No pressuring the girl, or going too far too fast.” And this is the warning look. The one that says I might be in deep shit if I screw up.

I can feel a smile spread as I think about her hands under my shirt in the back of my car.

The back of Mom’s hand slaps my chest as she smiles.

“What was
that
for?” I laugh and hold my arm between us.

“It’s all over your face. Time to realize you like her a lot, and be careful, okay?”

“Yeah.” I nod as it all sinks in. “Okay.”

I step into the guidance counselor’s office at the community college, having no idea how Mr. Burn might be able to help me.

The guy behind the desk is as buried underneath glasses, beard, and button-up shirt as his desk is in papers.

This was supposed to be my first thing, but I don’t even know where I am on the list anymore, only that Kate’s now definitely on it—in as many places as I can fit her without jumping into a relationship too fast. Though, it might be too late for that.

“What can I do for you, Specialist Connelly?” He smiles, using my rank.

“Not specialist anymore, Mr. Burn.” I shake my head a bit surprised.

“I won’t agree to that.” He chuckles. “Sergeant Burn, 756th Infantry.”

And I relax. This guy will actually sort of “get” some part of me, even if he looks like a disaster.

“Nasty scrape you got there.” He gestures to my arm.

I grin. “Yeah. Scrape.”

“What can I do for ya?” He leans forward resting his elbows on stacks of papers.

“Tell me what I should do with my life?” I chuckle. Only laughing is about the last thing I feel like doing.

“What were you thinking of doing after the Army?” He gestures to a seat, and I take it.

“The Army.”

“Well, shit. Sorry soldier.” He flips a pen over in his hand a few times.

The guy’s cussing. Understanding. Not looking defeated by me being completely clueless.

“If that’s the case then my guess is that you want some sort of end goal, something to make all this school crap worthwhile.” He spins to his computer and starts hitting keys.

“Yes, sir.”

“I can put you through some aptitude tests, and tell you where your talents lie, but I’m not sure that’ll help you, Connelly.” He spins back to me.

“So…”

“I want you to not think about school and classes and all that. I want you to think about something that’ll really make you feel good. Here.” He pats his chest. “Or pick something that’ll make you a boatload of money.” He chuckles at his own joke.

“You don’t blow smoke.” He’s definitely more straightforward than I expected.

“Doesn’t really do either of us any favors, does it?” he asks.

“No, sir.”

“Here’s what we’ll do for now. I’m going to hand pick some really great teachers, put you in classes that I think are a little more interesting than average, and maybe you’ll have an epiphany sometime during your first semester.”

It sounds great, but…“What if I don’t?” I ask.

He chuckles. “Then we’ll hope for it the next semester, or the next, or at least soon enough that you can graduate in four-ish years with a degree in
something
.”

This is not what I want to hear, and I feel more defeated than when I stepped in.

“Aidan?”

“Yeah?”

“Sometimes trying to focus and think on something makes it even more elusive. Think on it, but don’t hurt your brain on it, and I bet it’ll come to you.” He leans back and rests an ankle on his knee. At least he knows how to cross his legs like a man.

“I’ll add it to the list.”

He cocks a brow.

“Long story.” I sigh.

Mr. Burn frowns. “I feel like I haven’t helped you, and I really hate that.”

“Nah. You’ve given me someone to talk to, Sergeant.” I stand up.

“Okay. Come back in if you think I can help with something else.” He jumps to his feet and we shake over his disaster of a desk.

“I’ll be back. You’re still on my list.” And now I gotta figure out what’s coming up next. I’m pretty sure the guys are coming home, and I really should be more excited to see them all again. But tomorrow night is my next date with Kate, so I’m pretty sure I’m going to slide her into the next slot on my list.

A
S I STEP UP TO JEN’S
house, Shelton’s car is here. Toby’s car is here and two others. What’s going on? I’m not into a big group for movie night, especially since I’m sleeping over so I can’t just leave if it gets weird. I also really don’t want to sit in the same room with both Aidan and Shelton. It’s way too soon to be anything but awkward. And how could I snuggle against Aidan the way I want with Shelton there? He might not have any issue parading Tamara around, but I couldn’t do it.

“Hey, Kate.” Aidan steps out of his apartment and lightly jogs down the stairs. Red T-shirt today, making his hair look even blonder. The red also sets off his tanned skin and blue eyes and my heart leaps a few times.

Aidan looks like I want him to. Easy. Comfortable.

Aidan walks like Aidan wants to walk. Like Aidan wants to dress. No pretension. No nothing but Aidan. His emotions on his face, the straight-backed, forward movement that stuck with him from the military.

“Are you here? Do you need me today? Or should I leave you with your thoughts?” Aidan teases as he moves in close.

“I’m good. You?” I take a step so we’re touching—chest, hips, a small part of my thighs.

“Yeah.” His fingers slide along my hand.

I immediately slide my hand through his and my body and mostly my lips hope for…but I don’t get to finish the thought before his lips touch mine again. The way I feel next to him scares me. Like I’m too comfortable, want more of him. Well any girl would want more than that little soft kiss.

And my needles don’t matter, and my overly strict parents don’t matter, and Shelton doesn’t matter. Just Aidan. Okay. And his lips.

“You’re stubbly.” I pull away and rub my finger across his chin.

“Sorry, I got busy today and didn’t shave.”

I kiss his chin, just to feel the prickly hairs on my lips again, and smile.

“We ordered pizza,” he says. “Jen insisted on ordering a salad with it—”

“Oh, good.” Pizza is a pain to count carbs for.

He rolls his eyes. “Not you too.”

“Kate!”

I spin around just in time to see Shelton give me his perfectly placed, white-toothed smile.

My heart drops. Oh. This is nice. I’m standing between them.

“You look like you’re feeling better today.” He jogs down the steps from Jen’s front door, and once again the difference between the two guys is a bit staggering. Perfectly pressed and poised Shelton versus relaxed and comfortable Aidan. Why was I so broken up over Shelton?

“Oh, right. Yeah. I’m fine,” I spit out, realizing that he’s referring to the stupid shot he had to give me. The one I’d rather Aidan not know about. Not yet.

Aidan’s eyes are on me, and I hope the conversation keeps rolling so nothing needs to be discussed.

“What are you guys up to tonight?” Shelton asks. His gaze glances down to my hand laced with Aidan’s.

Toby, Jen, and the rest of student government come out of her house, and slowly wander down from the porch.

“Movie night,” Aidan says.

Shelton freezes. He and I both know what happens on movie night. We pick out one movie we all want to watch, and another that no one wants to watch so we can make out. Shelton’s eyes snap back and forth between Aidan and me a few more times.

“I’m going to go check on pizza.” I smile back at Aidan, touching his stomach briefly, because my fingers apparently have a mind of their own, and I really need to avoid looking at Shelton and jog up the steps before anyone asks me anything else about school and shots.

“Hey, Kate!” Jen’s mom smiles from across the vast entry. “The pizza should be here any minute.”

“Oh. Thanks.” That was way too fast. And easy. Now I’ll have to go back outside and try to make nice. Maybe Shelton’s gone.

“Hey, Kate?” Shelton’s voice. Okay. Maybe not. I turn slowly. “What’s up?” I can sound casual. No big deal.