Authors: Delia Delaney
“Yeah, so let’s go.”
I said a quick goodbye to Kailey in the kitchen and rushed out the door behind my sister.
“Oh, and don’t be surprised if Harlan is there,” Dawn said as she squealed out of the driveway. “I invited him
and he was already going to be in the area
.”
“Oh. I thought he worked today.”
“At three. You should have at least invited him.”
“Uh, okay…”
I didn’t understand why she was so perturbed with me. I’d had two
casual
dates with Harlan. Now I was supposed to invite him to family gatherings?
“So where’s Wyatt?” I asked.
“Working.”
I wondered if it wa
s something he really had to do
or if it was just an excuse to get out of a family funct
ion. The guy worked for his dad
so it wasn’t like he couldn’t take the time off.
We
really
were the last ones to arrive
at my parents’ house
, but thankfully David wasn’t there, and Mallory was very nice and understanding about it. My sister wanted to crucify me, but no one else seemed to care. I spotted Harlan
speaking with my dad
and he smiled at me. Just as I was walking across the room to greet him I heard my mom ask Dawn what the hold up was, and Dawn replied, “
Someone
was talking to her ex-convict
friend
.”
My blood almost went cold because I could just feel half of the room staring at me. My mom pretty much shushed Dawn for the time being, but Harlan looked at me with question.
“You have an ex-con for a friend?” he
quietly
asked with a smile. He did lean forward to kiss me on the cheek, but after he handed me a glass of punch, he waited for my reply.
“Yes, I do. But he’s a good guy, so don’t listen to anything my sister says.”
He bobbed his head. “Okay.”
I took a deep, silent breath to un
-rattle myself, and remained
on high alert for any more of Dawn’s
outbursts.
David was surprised with the party that Mallory had planned, and it seemed pretty successful. I just tried to enjoy my time with Harlan and avoid Dawn at the same time. I
t
worked for the most part, and I was even glad when Harlan offered to take me home.
“You seem really on edge today,” he said in the car. “Is everything okay? You having a disagreement with your sister?”
I sighed. “She and I disagree about ninety percent of our lives, you know.”
“Yes, I’ve discovered that,” he smiled. “But you can’t live without each other.”
“No, unfortunately not.”
“So what’s got you upset?”
I took a few moments to think, and I decided the only t
hing I could really do was be
honest with him. “I was talking to Tyse on the phone before the party,” I told him.
“Sure, your…sort of boyfriend,” he said with a smile. Harlan knew quite a lot about Tyse since he had asked and wanted me to be upfront. But there was one major piece of information that I’d left out. I could tell he put Dawn’s
comment
together with that, and he slightly nodded his head. “Oh, I see.”
“He is a good guy, Harlan. What happened to him was just…really crappy.”
“So
tell me about it.”
We
were just pulling into my driveway
and I looked at the clock. “But work…”
“I have time.”
I reluctantly agreed, and shared with him
what I knew
. I’d never even told my family about it.
But
Harlan was easy to talk to, and even though I felt like he would be fair
with
his opinions, I had mixed feelings about sharing it with him. I didn’t know if I was betraying Tyse—although he had never said any
thing about keeping it a secret—but maybe I really was.
“Anyway,” I finished. “I’d rather
you
keep all of that to yourself. My family knows that Tyse went to prison, and they know I believe he’s a good guy, but I’ve never told them all of that. You know, about his family and what they did.”
“Why not? Why haven’t you told your family?”
“Uh, just because of all the contention it’s
already
caused. They’re not willing to see my side of it, and I’m just afraid that they still won’t get it even if I do explain everything to them.”
“You won’t know unless you try. Knowing
only
a little part of that particular story is
probably
a lot different than seeing the entire picture. The poor man has faced the world at it’s worst
—his family turned against him
. I’m sure your family can
sympathize with
that.”
I didn’t know what to reply so we just sat there in silence for a few moments.
Finally Harlan said, “You’re afraid of a future with Tyse because it might not include your family. Your worst fear is that you’ll have to choose one or the other, and you desperately want to have both. I understand that. But you can’t possibly make a decision about something unless you’ve done all that
you can to make things happen your way
.”
I slightly nodded.
“I think you need to make your parents hear it all—even how you feel about Tyse—before you subject yourself to a fate that might not even be necessary.”
I totally agreed with him. Why had I held off all this time? Tyse was coming for Christmas. What had I even done to prepare myself for that except just worry about it? Did I expect that everything was just going to magically work out somehow?
“Yes, I agree with you,” I said. “I suppose you are older and wiser than me.”
He chuckled. “Well don’t take my advice as fact. It’s only my opinion.
And
I am definitely not an expert at romantic involvements.”
I snickered at that, and mimicked
, “ ‘Romantic involvements’…
”
“Hey…” he warned.
I laughed, but I really felt a little overwhelmed at the moment.
“You’re still worried,” he noticed. “What’s the matter?”
“Well, you I guess.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Me?”
“Yeah. How can you do all this? Sit there and give me advice about another guy? Isn’t
it…
Well, aren’t you upset with me? Doesn’t it bother you?”
He slightly shrugged. “Well no, I’m not upset with you. But it is a bit tough. I only want to be with you Ellie, but it’s not fair to either of us if your heart is indecisive. I want you to be happy, and if that means giving you every opportunity that you need to help in your decisions, then that’s what I’ll do. I don’t want you to be with me for any other reason other than you
wanting
to be with me.”
I realized, despite all the struggles that I had in relationships with guys, that I really was pretty lucky in my friendships with them. My respect for Harlan grew even more that day, and instead of waiting for his cute little peck on my cheek, I gave him a big
smooch
on his.
“Thanks, Harlan. Call me for breakfast tomorrow.”
I decided to
visit
my parents’ house that night
,
and I sat down with them to explain everything that I could about Tyse’s past. I held their complete attention from the very beginning
, and even though they were
entirely
blown away by some of the things that I said, they were still a bit cautious if it was the “real” truth. I tried not to get upset with them. I tried my hardest to understand things from their point of view. I told them that they at least needed to give him a chance.
“
Y
es, everyone deserves a chance,
” my dad said. “E
specially if they’ve been dealt a tough hand.”
“And I think he has. No, I
know
he has.”
“You can’t always believe every
thing a person tells you, Ellie,” my mom said. “
I know you’re a cautious girl, and you’re very smart, but sometimes we only see what we want to see. It happens to all of us. It’s our desire to be charitable, to give someone a chance.”
“I can see it in his eyes,” I barely whispered. “
It’s
there, plain as day for m
e to see.”
“What’s there, sweetie?”
“His soul. And it’s
good
. He needs me, Mom.”
In realizing that, it made my eyes water. My parents weren’t used to seeing me cry, so they just kind of sat there for a minute and didn’t say anything.
Finally my dad said, “So will you answer the question I asked you almost a month ago? Do you have a romantic interest in Tyse?”
It was silent for a few seconds and I finally chuckled sarcastically and pointed to my face. “I don’t know, what do you think? I mean I’m crying, for heaven’s sake.”
My
dad smiled, but my mom’s serious expression didn’t change
at all
. I could tell that the news didn’t excite her too much.
“So is that a yes?” my dad asked.
“Yes, that’s a yes.” I sighed and took a moment to wipe my tears. “I miss him. And although it was so good to see him after Thanksgiving, it kind of made it even harder for me.”
“What is it about him that makes you feel that way?” he asked.
I thought for just a second, not because I didn’t know what to say, but because I didn’t know where to
start
.
“He’s always encouraging me to be confident with my decisions and to have a little faith in myself. He makes me feel like I’m the only one whose opinion matters to him. I feel comfortable around him, and I trust him. And he’s very sweet and thoughtful. Sometimes he’s blunt, and he says things that I don’t really want to hear, but it’s kind of nice to have someone be so honest so I can look at things objectively.
And he just… He makes me feel perfect the way I am.
”
Neither of my parents responded. They glanced at each other, but whereas my mom looked away from me, my dad returned his eyes to mine.
“So he is coming for Christmas, right? I mean he is welcome, Ellie, I told you that, but just so we know.”
“Yes, he’s coming for Christmas.”
“And where is he staying?” he asked a little more firmly.
“Uh, probably with me
.”
Neither of them liked that idea, and I knew they wouldn’t anyway. They didn’t even like it when Gage had stayed with me, but what could I say? I was almost twenty-one, and I didn’t live at home anymore. What did they think they could do?
I didn’t say anything
about it
though, and I guess they decided not to either because my dad wanted to know when and for how long Tyse would be visiting. After that was established, my mom asked, “And what about Harlan, Ellie? Where does he fit into all of this?”
“Harlan and I are friends.”
“I thought you were dating?”
“
Maybe
. We haven’t really progressed much beyond the
friends
stage. He knows how I feel about Tyse. I was very clear about that before I agreed to go out with him.”
“He must really like you,” she said knowingly. “That must be tough for him.”
I explained to them the conversation I’d had with him earlier, from his advice to talk to my parents about Tyse to why Harlan was choosing to be patient with me.
“He’s a very smart, very mature young man,” my mom partially smiled.
“Tyse was the same way about Gage, Mom.”
“But I thought Tyse didn’t express any feelings for you when he was here. From what I know, you two were only friends. Do you mean to tell me that Dawn was right? Gage was worried that you and Tyse were involved with each other—”
“No
,
we were not. And no, Gage shouldn’t have thought that because we talked about it. I’m only saying that Tyse understood how uncomfortable our friendship was for Gage, so he really just backed
off out of respect
.”
“Apparently not enough if Gage felt threatened by it.”
“Donna,” my dad warned.
“Mom, Gage and I didn’t break up because of Tyse. We broke up because he wanted to date other people. Well, maybe he just didn’t want to date me, I don’t really know,” I frowned.
“Honey, we don’t need to talk about Gage,” my dad said.
“Good, because he kind of broke my heart a little, Dad,” I said with tears again.
“I know, sweetie.”
The room was quiet again until I took a deep breath. “Are we done yet? Is there anything else you guys want to know or need to hear?”