Sweet Contradiction (21 page)

he scream of the little boy’s mom jerked me out of the shock I stood there in like nothing else could. Jen and I both ran to the edge of the river, but Matt was already only a step behind us.

“Oh, God. Billy!” The boy’s dad bellowed as he hopped on his one good leg to get over to where his son had fallen in. Just then Billy’s head bobbed up several feet away from the riverbank. He gasped in, greedy for breath just before a current caught him and he was drug under, further away from the shore, and down the river. Matt began running down the river and I was on his heels, my breathing coming in harsh pants, and the sound of the rushing river invading my head until all I could hear was water and my own breathing, like I was in a hollow cavern. We came up parallel to where Billy was being pulled down the river and just as I dared to blink I saw Matt launch himself into the river. I stopped at the edge where he had jumped and stood there with my heart pounding so loud it even eclipsed the sound of the river from my ears. I kept feeling like an outside spectator, like it wasn’t really happening, like at any moment I’d blink out of the crazy daydream.

Hunter grabbed my arm and pulled me further down the river. I saw Matt from the corner of my eye, making sure strides towards a little red bobbing head.
He’ll be okay. He’ll be okay and save the little boy. Everything would be okay
, I repeated as I ran, heedless of the branches and bushes that slapped at my arms and legs as I ran along the riverbank. I heard a small cry for help from the river and breathed just a little bit easier knowing the boy was still okay just then. When Matt made it to Billy, he grabbed him and hoisted him on his back. The boy clasped himself around Matt’s neck like a little monkey. It was clear really soon, though, that Matt was tiring out from carrying the boy’s weight and fighting the current. He made it to the halfway point of the shore when he could barely keep his own head above the water. Up ahead of Matt and Billy I saw a huge log lodged into the river and sticking up.

“Matt!” I screamed. Matt’s eyes met mine and I pointed to the branch and screamed for him to get to it. He pulled out all the energy he had left and swam until he was able to snag onto the branch. I breathed out a sigh of relief.

Hunter threw himself into the river and swam out to the huge log. Billy climbed off of Matt’s back and onto Hunter’s and they were both on their way back to shore after a short swim. Hunter heaved Billy onto the shore and into the arms of his hysterical mother. Hunter was breathing heavily, he wasn’t as good as a swimmer as Matt was, but he was good enough to help Matt back to shore. I glanced out at Matt draped across the log, my heart still racing and my breathing still ragged. Matt raised a hand to let me know he was okay when, just like slow motion, a smaller log that was floating quickly down river hit the log Matt was holding onto and flipped out of the water and struck him on his temple. A scream resounded all around me and it took me a moment to realize it had come from me.

“No!” Hunter screamed as he dove into the water. Matt’s body was lodged between the two logs, but his body was face down and his head was under water. He wasn’t moving.

I dove in behind Hunter and swam with every ounce of strength I had in me. Hunter had Matt under one arm and was struggling to drag him to the riverbank when I made it to them. I took his other side and grabbed him under his other arm and pushed my legs like I’d never pushed them before, dragging Matt as we went. When we got to the bank, Billy’s dad, mom, and Jen helped pull Matt’s limp body out of the water. Hunter pulled himself out and then helped me out. I pushed him away as soon as my knees hit earth. I shoved everyone out of the way until I was kneeling next to Matt. I cried out when I saw his ashen face and the bleeding gash on his temple.

“No, no, no.” He wasn’t breathing and I couldn’t find his pulse. I tilted his head back and started CPR. I pumped his chest,
1-2-3-4
, breathed into his mouth,
1-2-3-4
, over and over again until my arms were shaking from the force of my thrusts. “No, you’re going to be okay, you hear me, Matthew Wright?”
Pump, pump, pump
. “You are going to open your eyes, you hear me, damn you?” I cried out and wiped my tears out of my eyes quickly and then tilted his chin back again and breathed into his mouth. “You. Will. Fight. For. Me.”
Pump, pump, pump.
How long had it been? Minutes? It felt like an eternity and I knew it had been way too long. I heard Jen crying softly behind me, but I refused to give up. “Come on, baby. Open your eyes.” I breathed air into him again, willing my life force into him, I’d gladly have given him my soul if he’d just breathe again. After several more tries, Hunter’s hand landed on my shoulder but I shrugged it off harshly.

Pump, pump, pump.
“You will breath. You will do this for me!” I screamed. “I will not lose you, Matthew! Not when I didn’t get to tell you how much I love you.” I sobbed as I thrust my palms down onto his chest. “Fight, Dammit!” I thrust once again, with all my might, and water suddenly gushed out of his mouth. Someone nearby gasped as I rolled him onto his side. He expelled more river water from his body and then drew in a loud, rasping breath of air. I pushed the hair from his face and rubbed his back.
Thank God
, I whispered.
Thank God.

Billy’s mom and dad followed us when we took Matt to the hospital. By the time we left and they had told Matt for the hundredth time how much they appreciated him and could never begin to repay him for what he’d done, little Billy was already doing dare devil stunts in the parking lot. I marveled at how resilient children were, how Billy had already put the entire debacle behind him and moved onto to more important little boy things. I. on the other hand, had had my whole world shook up. I had been within a few seconds of losing Matthew and that made me realize just how much I needed him, how much I wanted him, and how much I’d be willing to give up for him. The entire event had shaken my very being.

Matt received eight stitches for the gash on his temple and a bottle of pain pills for the nasty headache he had as a result of his lost fight with the log. Matt’s mom was not near as hysterical as I thought she’d be when we showed up at her house with a stitched up, drug-hazed Matthew and our bedraggled group. Hunter pulled her aside to tell her what had happened as I helped Matt get into his bed. Matt was out the moment his head hit the pillow.

“Sleep well, babe, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I whispered into his ear as he snored. I left the room quietly once I was sure his breathing was regular. I pulled the door shut quietly behind me. Hunter, Jen, Pastor and Mrs. Wright were all standing in the hall when I emerged. I ran a hand through my tangled hair and grimaced.

“The doctor said to wake him every few hours to check on him since he’s had a head injury,” I said softly. I held the pill bottle they’d given me out with a shaking hand for him out for his mom. Her eyes were wide as she looked at me, holding back tears. The floodgates opened and I felt myself sway as the enormity of what I’d gone through, of what had almost happened finally clawed its way up from the back of my consciousness. In a split second I was wrapped into Mrs. Wright’s arms and I was unable to hold back the tears any longer.

“Oh, my sweet child. What did we do to deserve someone as wonderful as you in our lives?” She held me and rocked me as I cried for everything I hadn’t realized I’d had and everything I’d almost lost that day.