Authors: Kracken
Well dressed, and with three well endowed women standing close and smiling vapidly, the pimp had been talking to Donny’s father at the time. Not interested in well endowed women, Donny hadn’t given them another thought. Now he was realizing that this man had been catering to the gathering as surely as the business that had delivered the booze and the buffet.
“You’re proud,” the pimp was saying to Donny. “You have morals and standards without a doubt. This isn’t a career, though. You can bow out whenever you like. Just look at it as a few days pleasure for a few days pay; pay that might be enough to get you off of this street and on to better things.”
It was a good pitch, Donny thought sourly as he moved out from under the man’s hand. He couldn’t say for certain whether he would have taken the offer or not, if he had been more desperate, but today, was not the day.
“No thanks,” Donny replied and hurried across the street to the bistro.
I’m not going to be a prostitute for easy cash, was a decision that seemed an easy one to make. When Donny, not much later, was being shown work tables filled with trays and buckets full of seafood that were being cleaned by weary looking men and women covered in fish guts, a traitor part of his mind asked him to reconsider.
“This is where we prepare the product for tonight’s menu,” the harried looking sous chef explained as he gave Donny the
three minute tour
. The man was overweight and stuffed into a white uniform. His balding head caught the over head lights and his scowling black brows made his irritated expression seem dangerous. “These areas need constant cleaning. Scrubbing down periodically and garbage detail at the back of the bistro will be part of your duties. No smoking, eating product, or excessive breaks. You’re on salary; no over time. Get your employee forms from Beth, fill them out completely, and be here tomorrow at twelve sharp.” The man was walking through the back areas of the restaurant as he spoke, not looking at Donny at all.
Donny had to ask, “I’m hired?”
The man did look at him then, throwing a disgusted look over his shoulder. “Do you see a long line of applicants? It’s not a position that’s in demand. You want it, you have it.”
Donny kept following the man as it slowly dawned on him that he had a job. The sous chef finally turned with an angry bark, “I told you to get your papers from Beth. The tour is over.”
Donny stopped walking, blinked, and then recovered enough to smile and say, “Thanks. You won’t regret hiring me.”
“If you can make it past a week, I won’t regret it,” the man grumbled as he left Donny behind.
Donny found Beth, an overworked looking blonde who seemed in charge of the wait staff. She left off a tirade about gum chewing on the job to a petite brunette to take Donny to a cluttered office. She jerked open an overstuffed file cabinet, that had seen better days, and unerringly pulled out a large envelope. Tossing it to Donny, she slammed the cabinet closed and told him, “Fill it out and bring it in on your first day of work. If you don’t have it, you don’t work. Caprende?”
Donny bit back on a retort. He didn’t have the luxury to feel offended. He had to swallow his anger and nod. She studied him as if he were an idiot, sighed as if at the foibles of her boss who had hired him, and then went back to work.
Donny found himself clutching the envelope as he left the restaurant and ended up back on the sidewalk. Looking inside the envelope, he found employment papers. The warm feeling of accomplishment he felt was suddenly banked as he considered the job that he was now in possession of. Donny was a fish gutter. He would probably be a fish gutter for months until he could get on his feet and find something better. A traitor part of his mind envisioned years of gutting fish, maybe even a lifetime. His doubts about his own abilities, fostered by his father, didn’t allow him to see anything better in his future.
Donny pulled out tissue and blew his nose. He had pulled off his deception, this time, but what would he do when he had to prove that he was healthy for hours? Donny considered his duties and the sous chef’s attitude of
I have better things to do
. Donny had a feeling that, unless he showed signs of something serious, the sous chef wasn’t going to be the type of man to notice anything other than the product that he cleaned. That only left his being physically able to carry out his duties.
Donny worked his way back to Peter’s apartment. That entailed a long walk, begging a ride halfway from a leather clad biker smoking a cigar, and borrowing two dollars for the bus from a kind hearted old lady who was waiting at a bus stop. When he finally reached Peter’s apartment and closed the door, he could only fall face forward onto the couch and lay there, dizzy and totally exhausted. Toeing off his shoes, he didn’t wake up again until the phone rang.
It took Donny a long moment to identify the sound as he levered himself up from the couch and yawned hugely. His muscles felt stiff and his brain didn’t seem to be firing on all cylinders as he reached for the phone and answered it.
“Parker residence,” he remembered to say at the last second, before anything having to do with the Mayor’s residence or his own name rolled off of his tongue.
“It’s Dan. How did the interview go?”
Donny raked a hand through his dark hair and took a moment to pull himself together before he replied, “I got the job, but hell if I know how I’m getting there without any money. I had to hitch and beg, today.”
“Why didn’t you say something?” Dan retorted irritably. “I could have issued you a bus pass. Don’t you any money at all?”
“None. I also don’t have any ID,” Donny remembered. “I lost my wallet.”
“They can’t hire you without ID. When do you start?”
“Tomorrow,” Donny replied and winced as Dan swore.
“What were you thinking? You’re ill!”
Donny retorted, “I was thinking that I needed a job so that I can stop freeloading on your brother. I thought that’s what you wanted?”
There was a moment of quiet after that outburst and then Dan sighed. “I don’t want that when it means that you’ll jeopardize your health.”
“I’m fine,” Donny insisted. “I just have some sniffles and even that’s almost gone.”
It was a lie, but one that he intended to make so convincing that he might even fool himself.
“I’m coming to pick you up,” Dan told him and he sounded as if he had risen, a chair scraping the floor and keys rattling. “I can take you to get new identification and see for myself how well you really are.”
That almost sounded like a threat, but Donny knew that Dan was only concerned for his health. “You’ll see that I’m telling the truth,” Donny replied.
“I hope so,” Dan said. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
There wasn’t any way to say no without appearing ungrateful. That left giving an academy award winning performance when Dan showed up. That, Donny thought, as he hung up the phone and dragged his weary body into the bathroom required some medication. Surely Peter had something for the flu?
When Dan showed up, Donny was feeling almost human after a few tablets of cold and flu medication. He couldn’t shake the weariness, though, and falling asleep as Dan drove him to where he could acquire a new ID didn’t help his argument that he was fine. When the man shook at his shoulder to wake him, Donny had a fleeting sour thought that he’d rather it was Peter waking him, preferably in Peter’s bed.
The wait in line took the rest of the day, but, when Donny had a new ID in hand, after Dan helped him tread through a stack of red tape to get it, he was both relieved as well as grateful. On the ride back to Peter’s apartment, Donny stared at his bad photo on the ID and rubbed it with a thumb.
“I want to keep seeing your brother,” Donny suddenly admitted, breaking the silence of the car. “Even after I move out of his place.”
He expected Dan to protest, to make a verbal list why that was a bad idea for his own sake as well as Peter’s. He didn’t. He only sighed gustily and replied, “I thought you would.”
More silence followed and then Donny had to ask, “Not going to lodge a formal protest?”
“I might as well try to stop a bullet train with a butterfly net.” Dan glanced over at Donny’s confused expression and then explained with a hard smile, “All Peter does is talk about you. I can lecture him, warn him, and cite, chapter and verse, how becoming attached to strays has only given him heart ache up until now, but he won’t listen. He tells me that you’re different.”
Donny first reaction was to smile, but then he was frowning. Stray; an unwanted pet thrown out into the cold because it wasn’t good enough. He had to make himself someone who could be wanted, who wouldn’t hurt Peter, before he picked up a phone and…. What? Asked for a date? Asked for sex? Asked Peter to take him in?
“I need…” Donny struggled to express himself. “Time,” he finished awkwardly, but Dan seemed to understand and approve.
“Thank you,” he said and meant it. “Know what you can do, what you want, and what you can achieve in the future before you start thinking about a relationship with anyone. Just keep that decision in mind for the next two weeks.”
“Two weeks?” Donny sat up in his seat, confused.
Dan looked apologetic. “You don’t get your first paycheck for two weeks. You won’t be able to afford rent until you get paid. That means that you have to keep living at Peter’s apartment.”
“I can’t stay there,” Donny argued, “You have to find me something now.”
“Is it that hard living with Peter?” Dan wondered with a raised eyebrow. “He’s told me that his other relationships ended because he was too boring and worked too much.”
“He’s not boring!” Donny retorted angrily.
Dan glanced over at him, startled, as he pulled into a parking space by Peter’s apartment building. “I wasn’t the one who said that he was,” he replied. “He did… or his boyfriends did.”
“He’s
not
boring,” Donny found himself repeating firmly. “He’s kind and giving and dedicated and…”
“Enough
‘ands’
,” Dan chuckled and then sobered as he faced Donny. “You don’t have to convince me that my brother is good as gold. That’s why I try to protect him, why I’m asking you to be sure before you start any sort of relationship with him.”
“Two weeks?” Donny asked as he gauged his self control.
“Two weeks,” Dan confirmed.
“You understand that I’ve never had to control myself before this?” Donny pointed out.
“You
were
arrested for prostitution,” Dan reminded him.
“I wasn’t selling myself!” Donny protested hotly and then knew it for the kneejerk lie that it was. His nostrils flared as he throttled down on his temper and took a few breaths. Only then was he able to admit, “Yeah, I guess I was selling it, but I probably would have done it anyway. I’m all about instant gratification. Getting paid for it had just been a plus.”
Donny waited for disgust, but Dan only nodded. “If you can see how you’re hurting yourself, you can begin to stop. I don’t like that you’re trying to work while you’re still ill, but you’re showing a great deal more strength and readiness to change than I would have ever suspected when I first met you.”
Donny opened his car door, feeling both pleased and sore at heart. He was proving to himself that he was strong enough to pick himself up and get on with his life, but he still had to accept that he was starting out at rock bottom and that he couldn’t escape that past. He had to live with it.
“You said that Peter talks about me,” Donny said as he paused with one foot out of the car. “I just need to know that…” He couldn’t formulate the question and he struggled for a moment, Dan watching him in amused silence. “Can I know… Does he…. Do I have a chance with him?”
There. He had asked it. It only required a yes or no answer on Dan’s part. Yes, and Donny would be hanging a brass ring at the end of his journey of self improvement. No, and… Donny searched for the,
and
, and then realized that there wasn’t one. He honestly couldn’t see beyond that rejection to achieving his goal.
“Peter is not a prize or a crutch,” Dan replied seriously, leaning a little forward to impress on Donny the weightiness of his words. “You need to improve for yourself.” He shrugged and smiled as he straightened and prepared to pull out of the parking space. “There, I’ve said my piece. I don’t know Peter’s mind, but I can honestly say that I’ve never seen him act as if someone were as delicate as a starved kitten. He wants to tell me every detail about you and ask my opinion about your health, your life, and whether he’s doing everything right. It does sound like he’s
involved
, if you know what I mean?”
Donny felt the responsibility that went along with being given that information as he climbed out of the car. “I feel better about knowing,” he told Dan, “But I still have to get my life straightened out first before I make any kind of move. I won’t change that plan.”
“Good.” Dan reached out and Donny took a bus pass from his hand. “I keep that in case of an emergency. You can use it until you get paid.”
Donny clutched at it and felt a surge of emotion that was hard to control. He could only nod and step back from the car, grateful beyond words, and watch Dan pull out of the parking space.
The apartment felt lonely. Donny made himself and Peter a sandwich of lunch meat and sliced cheese. He placed Peter’s sandwich in a plastic baggie on a plate, and put it at the man’s eye level in the refrigerator. Next to it, he placed a note that read,
hope this is all right for your dinner. Wish I could cook.
As Donny ate his own sandwich, he wished for more things than the ability to cook. He wished that Peter were there, so that he could tell him that he had a job, that he wasn’t such a loser, and that he was almost certain that he was feeling something special for the man.
His long day was making him feel exhausted, though. He knew that he couldn’t possibly stay up late enough to meet Peter when the man returned home from work. That was for the best. The more he avoided the man, the more likely he would be able to stick to his resolve.
Donny took a shower, smelling some hint of fish from the restaurant still clinging to him, and then dressed in loose shorts and a shirt. He watched the news, brushed his teeth, and then decided that he needed to get some sleep. Somehow, instead of his room, he ended up in Peter’s.