The Alien Library (9 page)

“How? You didn’t gift me with your scent.” She sat, gathered the blanket up over her lap.

“There was a part transfer. More subtle, still affective,” he answered. “The rest might sense it. It won’t anchor you here. As it does Daniel.”

She ran a hand through her hair. “Subtle?”

He slid a hand under the cover and placed it at the small of her back. “Pindari also gave you a mother’s gift.” His fingertip touched the dragon scale and lightly pressed. She sighed and fell against him, unaware of why. He curled up around her. “Take a nap. With me. I will not push you for more than sleep. I want to rest in the comfort of you, for a short while.”

“Just sleep,” she murmured.

“And maybe dream,” he agreed.

She sighed and simply slipped into a soft nap. He inhaled deeply and held her as the light grew.

Daniel stalked about the estate, furious with himself. Cameron and the situation frustrated him terribly. When Tendar told him of the journal from Pandra-i, he’d felt his heart soar, then fall steeply at the idea of her now working with the Gatherers. He’d slept and tried to reconcile the conflict in his heart and found little there.

He didn’t speak with anyone until Tommy found him in the Earth Garden, to say that lunch was being prepared. The group in the dining room was argumentative. Tendar sat at the end of the table, just watching. Daniel sat down next to Parlani, who smiled at him.

“We were debating the merits of leaving tonight or tomorrow.”

“The backalongs enjoy night travel,” Daniel observed. “Especially at this time of the year.”

“You would certainly know about backalongs,” Teemin snorted, looking across the table at the human doctor. “When will you be returning to the road?”

Daniel smiled slightly. “When I feel the need, Teemin. Right now, I feel no need. I have a home here.”

Teemin’s eyes narrowed. Jefarin leaned over, laughing loudly. “He’s shared Tendar’s scent, Teemin.”

“You can’t do that.” Teemin rose from his chair.

“I did,” Daniel calmly stated. “And I flourish. As does Tendar. The world is complicated, isn’t it? And interesting.”

Teemin glared at the end of the table. “You dishonor our mother.”

“I do not see this as dishonor, brother. I see it as the highest honor. I treasure what was precious to her. What
is
precious to her, excuse me.” Tendar stared his brother down.

“Congratulations, Daniel,” Thandin loudly spoke.

“Yes, congratulations to you both,” Parlani laughed. “So much to be pleased about. I look forward to seeing the library. Now, what has Pindari made for us? Sit down, Teemin! Jefarin is calm. Daniel is glowing, all is well. No sudden death, no slow death. Just life!”

Teemin growled, but sat down. “Pindari, how is she doing without the kitchen wench I keep hearing about? Hidden her away?” He shot a look at the cook, who was smiling at her sister.

Pindari laughed. “I am doing fine, Teemin. Thank you for having such concern for my well-being. Kitchen wench, indeed.”

The meal was noisy, the uncles anxious to return home. Teemin kept silent, shooting irritating looks at Daniel and quietly arguing with his father. Parlani and Thandin easily discussed the upcoming trip home.

Pindari saw the table cleared and Tendar led the way to the new library doors. He paused. “The arrival of the new books came with a surprise. Her name is Cameron.” He opened the doors and led the group past the bookshelves to the central hub. Cameron stood at the foot of the steps, speaking to Sil. She looked over, nodded at him, then calmly walked to the rug.

She inclined her head at Tendar. “Gentle patron. The library isn’t fully stocked, but progress has been made.”

“Very good. I depend on you.” He turned to the larger group. “This is Cameron. The librarian.”

“You weren’t allowed to keep a Thinker,” Teemin stated. “She is the one who escaped to the Ixian Garden. Pindari’s kitchen wench?”

“I work with Pindari on Fridays. I enjoy time in the kitchen and Pindari assists in my education,” Cameron calmly spoke up for herself. Tendar had told her not to be intimidated. “What may I show you?”

Thandin stepped forward. “Parlani stated you have a good-sized natural science section. What of coastal interests?”

“Certainly. I can show you where we are presently stocking books on coastal resources, is that what you have in mind?” She smiled at him, then held out her hand. “You must be Thandin?”

“Yes, I am. And coastal resources is good. Ship building, navigation, fishing techniques. But I am also interested in fiction set on the ocean.” He grinned. “I also understand you have a good poetry section.”

“No! He is not allowed a new Thinker! She must be allotted to someone else!” Teemin attempted to set a hand at Cameron’s arm. Before Tendar could step in, his older brother had placed himself in the way. Cameron kept in Thandin’s shadow, despite Teemin’s attempting to take hold of her.

“Stop it.” Thandin finally drew Cameron to his front and set his hands at her shoulders. “You already bruised this one. I’ve been told of the episode in the garden and of her ability to hide her intellect. I want to see the library.”

Cameron leaned back slightly, making it clear she had no fear of Thandin. When Teemin stepped back, she moved to a stack of paper. “Here is a map of the library. This is a very user-friendly layout.”

“No card catalogue?” Teemin sneered. “You aren’t a librarian!”

“Modern libraries require more modern techniques,” Cameron answered. “On Earth, this building would house dozens of computers and a fair collection of books on tape, musical recordings, newspapers and magazines.”

“Computers?” Parlani questioned, glancing at the floor plan.

“Yes. It is possible to read books on a computer now. One day I imagine entire libraries like this will be carried around on handheld electronic readers.” Cameron sighed, “Not a bad thing, really. Save a great deal of paper and waste.”

“Not here,” Tendar chipped in. “This is home, Cameron.”

“Yes, of course. My old home,” she stated. “This is my home, now.”

“She arrived with the books, at the same time? Same shipment?” Jefarin eyed her with interest. “That is interesting. How were you taken, woman?”

“I am Cameron. You are?” Her tone was civil, even if her words were pointed.

“Oh, you’re feisty! I’m Jefarin, father to those three, oldest brother to those four.” He inclined his head slightly. “How are you educated?”

“Eight years of elementary school, four years of high school, nearly a dozen years at assorted junior colleges and many years’ experience with books, at many different book sellers.” Cameron acknowledged his second question. “My degree was in language and literature.”

“Not in library studies,” Jefarin quietly spoke. “How were you taken, Cameron?”

“In the dark, late at night, while on my way home,” she simply replied. There was a period of quiet, as they all stared at her until she ventured another comment. “How are others taken? Is it so unusual?”

“You remember, that is unusual,” Daniel stated. “It doesn’t matter. She is the librarian. She belongs here.”

“Perhaps,” Jefarin said. He bent to studying the floor plan, turning to look for something specific. The rest began to scatter. Tendar watched her swept away by Thandin and Parlani. Daniel moved to sit with the Kharmon at the bottom of the steps.

“It went well…” he sounded unsure. “What is your father about?”

“I have no idea. She remembers being taken? How did he know?” Tendar sighed. “He actually seems to be offering support?”

“Thandin seems taken with her,” Daniel snorted.

Tendar said nothing. For the next few hours, they watched Cameron wander through the library, leading individuals in exploring what was available that interested them, save two of his uncles, who showed no interest in the books, but did investigate the building. Cameron was constantly under watch by either Thandin, Parlani or Pindari. Tendar wasn’t worried about her as long as they were near.

She finally had a chance to take a break on her own and sat near Sil at the window. He smiled at her. “The library is a success.”

“Books are hard to resist. Even my detractors like the books.” She sighed and rolled her neck. “My secret helpers did a fairly good job at shelving. Though I’ll spend weeks setting the books straight.”

He reached out and pulled a strand of hair out of her face, a look of admiration filled his face. She closed her eyes and tried not to be aware of it. When she opened her eyes, he’d gone. She saw him, sitting next to Tendar at the table downstairs. Daniel looked up at her, then glanced to one side. A moment later, one of the uncles stood directly in front of her. He grimaced at her. “You’re tempting Sil.”

“Sil is my friend,” she answered. “Who are you?”

“Jovani,” he answered. “You don’t smell right.”

“What is right?” She tried to slide past him, but he blocked her way. She sighed. “I belong here, Jovani.”

“I doubt that. You belong in a bed, with your legs spread,” he said bluntly.

“Oh, how romantic.” She had the temerity to laugh at him, then push him aside. Tendar reached out a hand and took hers, having moved quickly to join the two. “I definitely don’t have enough romance in my life. Tendar, your uncle wants to fuck me.”

“Well, I can hardly blame him,” Tender escorted her down the stairs, speaking dryly to her. He looked over his shoulder. “Jovani, I believe Teemin is interested in departing within the hour.”

Cameron leaned slightly on his arm, noting Daniel glare at Jovani. She straightened her back. “Thandin has invited me to the coast. As soon as the library is sorted out.”

“We’ll see what we can do. It’s been some years since I’ve visited his province,” Tendar stated.

“I didn’t say you were invited,” she tartly replied. Tendar laughed, but Daniel nearly growled. Pindari gestured her to join them at the table. She did.

Parlani was reading through a book on beavers. She pointed at the photograph. “This is an animal. Why was it in the dam building section?”

“That is a beaver, and they build dams in the wild,” she replied. “They are one of nature’s engineers, Parlani, and that book concentrates on that fact, so I put it in with other books on dams. Are there are no beavers here?”

“No, but there are animals that build. Dams? Really?” She flipped through the book. “Out of felled trees. How fascinating!”

Cameron glanced at Tendar. “What sort of books were in the old library? Beavers aren’t new.”

“The books were old, Cameron. There hadn’t been a new shipment in decades. There were sketches, but no photographs,” Tendar answered. “At least, very few. An occasional book would arrive but not many. These new books are a revelation. Like you.”

She shot a glance at him, then at Pindari “He’s being very…courtly.”

“Isn’t that what you want? To be courted?” Pindari just glanced at her. “Make them both…what is the phrase? I heard you use it once…
jump through hoops
?”

Cameron stared at Pindari, then pushed away from the table. “I’m going to begin straightening up.” She blinked and looked at Pindari with confusion before darting away.

Tendar schooled himself to show nothing as Cameron shivered. Parlani closed the book on beavers and snarled at her sister, “You have no finesse.”

“We’re all tired,” Tendar softly said. “Not long now.”

“Where is Teemin?” Daniel suddenly appeared. “I went looking for him and didn’t find him.”

“Packing?” Tendar suggested.

Thandin wandered in to the big tables, set several books down. “She said these were duplicates, that I could take them.”

“Invited her to the coast?” Daniel snorted.

“She once lived in a city on the coast,” Thandin replied. “She asked about dragons.”

“What about them?” Tender asked.

“Where the name originated. If humans named them, and why they were called dragons.” Thandin smiled. “She is very engaging. Feel free to send her to me if she has need of a safe place to hide. We can always keep her moving if necessary, between us.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.” Tendar shook his head. He saw his four uncles at the top of the stairs, Teemin coming up behind them.

Teemin glared down at the table, then called out, “You break covenant if you keep her. I’ll see a council called and your privileges revoked. Jefarin! We’re leaving!”

“Pity, I was quite enjoying the sex books.” Jefarin appeared from the direction Cameron had disappeared. Daniel took an involuntary step that way, but Tendar put out a hand, signaling him to wait. “So many variations!” Tendar’s father joined Teemin at the stairway, a small volume in his hand.

Tendar didn’t acknowledge his brother’s challenge, simply watched the group walk from the room. He knew others would supervise their departure. Pindari, Parlani and Thandin left the room, following the rest. Tender set Daniel free. “Find her.”

Daniel darted into the stacks. He found her sitting on the floor, in the section around the corner of human sexuality. Hugging her knees to her chest, she sat shivering with a frightened look on her face.

He knelt next to her. “Cameron? What is it?”

“He said such ugly things, and bitterness poured from him,” she whispered. “Gone? Is Jefarin gone?”

“On his way to being gone.” He leaned against the stack, his shoulder touching hers. “He has a way with words, both kind and cruel. I am sorry.”

“He really hates you.” She leaned her head back, gazing at the ceiling. “Not sure about me. He might hate me.”

“Or he might not,” Daniel whispered. “I’m not sure what would be worse.”

“Hell.” She leaned against him, allowing him to set an arm around her shoulder and offer comfort. She’d never tell them what he said. The details were too bitter and spoken so casually, as if he didn’t know she listened. Only at the end, when he bent down and touched her cheek has she been certain he knew exactly what he was doing.

Tendar found them huddled together, both with tears on their cheeks. He saw the library cleared and slowly walked the stacks himself, looking for any mischief. His uncles behaved with no class. They’d scattered books here and there, bent pages, shown deliberate carelessness. When he heard Daniel speaking again, he returned to where they sat, at the big table.

He took a chair and looked at the pair of them. “We have several months. It will take time to call a conclave.”

“Huh?” Cameron set her head on her hands. “What’s a conclave?”

“An official gathering of the province heads to officiate over conflict,” Daniel answered. “Probably held…where?”

“I’ll propose the coast,” Tendar said. “He might not protest the coast.”

“I’d like the coast, to see a new ocean.” Cameron sighed. “Why would he agree to that?”

“He thinks Thandin is pliable,” Tendar replied. “Now, we all need sleep. Sleep and food.”

“I’m not hungry.” Cameron climbed from the table. “But I do want to go to bed. Alone.”

Tendar simply bid her goodnight. Daniel did the same, with eyebrows knit, obviously unhappy. He looked at Tendar. “How long will she stay so cold?”

“I don’t know. Sil is waiting for her. She may send him away, or let him stay. Pindari believes she wants to be won over. I don’t think she knows what she wants.” Tendar chuckled slightly. “Come on, we’ll leave her to the library. Guards will still be posted. She will be safe.”

“Your father and poisonous words. His talent is still well developed on that front.” Daniel sighed. “Are you sure she’ll be all right?”

“No, but we have to trust her to ask for help if she needs it,” Tendar answered. “Come, I could use a bath.”

Cameron didn’t send Sil away, but she also didn’t promise to be terribly receptive. He surprised her with his patience and eventually she rested against him, pleased at the experience. She’d nearly been convinced that Daniel and Tendar had ruined her for simple sex. Sil kept it simple and she found it very restful. Over the next few weeks, he stayed with her several times.

She didn’t see Tendar, but Daniel made a point of spending time reading in depth through the medical books. He’d done a casual scan before. Now he told her he needed details. She discovered a book missing from a small boxed set on the sexual practice using bondage methods and he told her it seemed likely Jefarin took it. The thought made her shudder. In time, she discovered several other books on bondage and sadomasochism missing. She tried not to think about it.

Her routine settled down. She spent six days at the library, then one in the kitchens. Pindari often sent her to the Earth Garden for several hours at a time, to relax and get sun. “You’re too pale, Cam,” she simply stated. Her comment at the library didn’t come up again, though it continued to play through Cam’s mind in a truly annoying fashion.

The library continued to absorb her, watching it come into shape, deciding what books to place where. The freedom to be slightly unconventional with shelving amused her. Hence, the beavers were in the section on nature and engineering. The Kharmon, she realized, had needs and viewpoint that were different than humans. It might be helpful to see how other species had solved problems. And that included beavers.

Nearly two months passed. Daniel became distant with her and she saw Tendar only twice. Both times were in company, with Pindari hosting a dinner, which included several guests at a time. At most of these gatherings, she featured favorite entrees that Cam remembered. The librarian made friends with several of the humans at the Earth Garden in an attempt to alleviate the growing sense of loneliness she felt.

At first, she thought of the humans as simple. But referring to them as simple bothered her conscience. She considered the pseudonym often used on Earth – special people, but that didn’t feel right, either. Finally, she just decided on referring to them as the flower children. They so much reminded her of what she’d read of the idealistic era of San Francisco in the 60’s. She knew reality had been much harsher than the ideal, but not here, not on Ix.

Daniel heard her use the term with Pindari and asked how she’d come up with it. It took some time to explain it. Though once he caught on, he smiled slightly. “I remember one of the Thinkers from that era. He was a brilliant artist, but insisted on seeking out plant and herbal derivatives to get
high
, as he termed it. Finally, he settled on the southern continent. There are jungles there and all the chances to experiment that he wants. I know Saphiri worries he’ll kill himself one day.”

“Likely will. After what the gaba did accidentally, I hope he’s careful. Or on purpose, I suppose.” She’d shrugged. “I thought the other humans here were being drugged at first. They act like they are high.”

“So I understand.” He’d pulled away after that, returning to the research in the library; it had been one of the rare times he conversed with her in a familiar fashion. He’d grown very formal.

Cam found Daniel very confusing. She wanted to ask Pindari if something had happened, but the harsh words at the library unveiling kept her from it. She decided she’d have time to see it all figured out. The books were priority.

She’d reached a place of equilibrium, with the position thrust upon her by the situation and circumstances completely beyond her control. The crates of books never seemed to end, arriving deep in the night while she slept. It kept her busy. Sil continued to visit, even accompanying her to the Earth Garden and frolicking with the flower children. It made her laugh. After that, he often tried to make her laugh.

She didn’t know how much time had passed, or how long she’d been on Ix. The passage of time seemed irrelevant. She had no watch, no calendar on a wall, no holidays, vacation, time cards.

Then Pindari sat her at the kitchen table one day and closed the cookbook before they could discuss what they were going to tackle. The kind Kharmon gazed at her for several moments, saying nothing. Cam finally looked away. She’d never win a staring contest with any of them.

“Cam, are you happy?” Pindari softly asked.

“Well, yes.” Cam took the time to think before answering and smiled. “It surprises me to realize that I am happy and content.”

“Sil has heard you laugh. I have heard you laugh but it is rare. We need you to be happy, truly happy and settled. The conclave will take place in three months. On the coast. You will be questioned,” the cook stated.

“But I am happy! You don’t think I’m telling you the truth? Because I don’t laugh often? I just don’t! I’ve never been an easy laugher.” Cam wrapped arms around her torso and hunched her shoulders.

Pindari sighed. “You are uncertain of us still. Look at you! A simple question and you huddle up to protect yourself. From me!”

“You’re attacking me! Acting like I’m lying or pretending!” The human pushed away from the table. “What does it matter so much if I’m truly happy? It’s not like I can go back! Or be sent away! Are you going to send me away? I’m working so hard! Trying to get the books put away!” Her voice shifted from anger to fear.

“Cameron, calm down. There is no need to get hysterical. No, you aren’t going to be sent away. But yes, it matters if you are truly happy. Daniel told you about Howard? The artist? He was such a joy but now he lives far from us. He wandered where he would be happy. We don’t want you to feel the need to wander, Cam. It scares us,” Pindari finally admitted. “You scare us because we aren’t sure how to how to keep you.”

Cam stared at her, terribly confused. Slowly, she sat down, then set her head on the table, hands clasped in her hair. “Shit,” she muttered. “What you need is an analyst. A therapist, someone schooled in psychology. I don’t know what to tell you. You need me to be happy because if I’m not happy, I might choose to walk away? But the conclave is all about sending me away, assigning me to some other province. Isn’t it?”

Pindari addressed the head of hair, since Cam wouldn’t look at her. “Yes, but if we succeed in seeing the assignment here made official, you could still choose to leave.”

Cam lifted her head and then gently banged it on the table top. “Why would I do that? This world is too damned strange for me to feel comfortable going anywhere. Maybe, someday, just for the sake of seeing more of it. I’ll try to laugh more, okay?”

“We miss you when you disappear inside yourself. Times in the Earth Garden where you appear so sad.” Pindari saw the head rise and Cam’s brown eyes locked on.

“How often am I spied on? So near to read my face? And I don’t notice anything, do I? Why haven’t I seen Tendar? Even Daniel is being aloof. And don’t give me that crap about needing to be chased. Wanting them to jump through hoops. Damn, what a bitchy thing to say to me!” Cam was finally angry enough to rise above the hurt.

“Bitchy? I just thought it a truth, Cam. Tendar is busy trying to see the two damaged Thinkers back to themselves. Daniel helps and looks for an answer regarding your implant.” Pindari appeared flushed. “Spy? We watch you, looking for how to please you. But there is no pleasing you!”

Cam jerked from the chair and drew in a long breath. “Get a life. Find a new hobby. I’m not in need of fixing. I am what and who I am. I have always been sober, somber even. I have always found solace in my own company. I’m not a social person! I’m just not!” She turned and left the kitchen.

Pindari gripped the book on the table and then threw it. She took a deep breath and sat, sorrow carved deep in her face. Cameron didn’t understand but she couldn’t explain. It was just too hard.

*****

Cam stormed back to the library. All her life she’d been harassed to smile more, to laugh more, to lighten up, not be so serious.
You’ll look prettier if you’d smile.
She remembered that comment from her grandmother. The list of similar advice went on and on. She just didn’t care about it anymore. It used to bother her to no end, and she’d try. But then she’d find herself accused of being a fake.

She did feel happy. At least, she
had
felt happy.

The library echoed with quiet, offering her solace. She climbed the steps and sought out the sanctuary of a small side room, one of several. She had designated each a different regional zone. There was mountain, coast, desert, jungle, and wetlands. They didn’t hold much, because most that might have fit were shelved in other areas. But now and then, she’d come across an odd volume that simply belonged to a region. The one she chose shelter in was desert. It held three books.

She pulled out the huge photography book on the American deserts and slowly flipped it open, looking for some peace in the golden expanses it showcased. Instead, she found sorrow completely overwhelming her. She was so tired of failing at the expectations of others. Human or Kharmon.

In the end, she put the book back and shoved herself in a small, deep hole created by several oddly put together shelving units. She hugged her knees and sobbed quietly. For days after, tears always accompanied her and she didn’t fight it.

Sil asked her what made her sad.

“I just don’t know for certain, Sil. I keep thinking if I just let the tears flow, they will eventually dry up.” She’d shrugged and closed the subject.

The news traveled to Pindari and to Tendar. Daniel was on the road, joining a source to discuss Cameron’s device. He wouldn’t be gone long, as the mechanical engineer intended to meet him partway. It had been noted in the garden, that Cam’s incision grew red and more visible. Time was running out.

She finally realized the change herself. Daniel was gone five days by then. She wiped the condensation from the bathroom mirror and saw the redness at the long-healed incision. She lightly touched the sight and flinched. She hadn’t noticed the soreness in the shower. She shuddered, wondering who to tell.

She carefully slid her light underdress on, then the kitchen tunic. It was her day with Pindari. She wasn’t really looking forward to it, but she kept her promises. She’d apologize to the cook; she was ready to do so, even if she wasn’t sure she owed an apology.

Pindari commented on how pale Cameron appeared as she walked in.

Cam shrugged, winced and sat down. “Sort of tired today, sorry.” She sighed. “Pindari…I’m sorry…”

“No, I’m sorry. I just have too much to tell you and feel like there is never a right time to do so.” Pindari shook her head. “You are a somber person. You have a right to what is your natural countenance. We, the Kharmon, are perhaps too sensitive to failure. What?”