“Would you, please? He has to know he’s safe here and protected. Last night he kept telling me he didn’t want to leave and please don’t send him away.” Carter turned away so she wouldn’t see the tears burning his eyes. “I’ll do anything to make sure he’s safe.”
“Of course.” She squeezed his arm. “You’ve done remarkable things for him; you have to know that. I’ll make sure to find out if anything is going on.”
There was so much Carter couldn’t tell her—how he owed her everything for the help she gave him, how lost he’d be without her guidance. But it wasn’t his way to be warm and fuzzy although he tried his hardest with Jacks. Instead he gave Helen a brief, tight smile and headed out the door, forcing his mind to shift to the day ahead and his business; at least there he was always in complete control. The office ran with the tight military precision he required. He might not have control over his personal life, but he damn well would in his professional one.
Which was why, when he arrived at the office and found himself waiting for his first clients to show up, his already strung out nerves frayed to the breaking point, Carter snapped at his secretary, whom he usually treated like gold. He hated when people were late; it showed a lack of professionalism and consideration.
“Lucy!” he yelled out from his office to his secretary. “Where are you?”
“I’m right here, Carter. No need to holler.”
Lucy McCrae had been with him since he started Haywood Public Relations with the idea of internet advertising marketing. No matter where people went, they had their phones; why not use their location to push ads to local business onto their social media accounts based on their shopping history? As a single mom, always looking for ways to save money, Lucy had given him the idea to offer business discounts through coupon codes on their smartphones, and the business took off from there.
Instantly contrite, Carter backed down. “I’m sorry. Rough night.”
Lucy, one of the few people who knew about Jackson’s existence, gave him an understanding squeeze of his shoulder and a small smile.
“I’m sorry. Is it Jackson?”
Lucy might know about his brother, but that didn’t mean Carter wanted her sympathy. Care and concern, no matter how generous, grated on him.
“It’s all fine. But where’s my first appointment? They should’ve been here ten minutes ago. I have another meeting at ten and then lunch with that couple who’re flying in from Florida.”
“Don’t worry; I’ll make sure everything runs smoothly for you.” Both her smile and pat on the shoulder were meant to be comforting, but Carter didn’t need words, he needed action.
“Please. I promised Jackson we’d go for ice cream tonight, and I can’t be late.”
Absolutely nothing would keep him from leaving the office at his designated time of six o’clock in order for him to be home for Jacks. And, of course, to relieve Helen. She could only stay in his home so much. He made it known to the people he did business with that they should not expect evening phone calls or late dinners with him. When he was home, his time was solely devoted to Jacks and would be more than ever now if his brother continued to show signs of feeling unsafe and insecure.
“You won’t let him down, I promise.” There was genuine warmth in her voice, and she cocked her head. “I hear the elevator. I’ll bet that’s them.” With a quick tug at the sleeves of her blouse, Lucy hurried out of his office, heels tapping on the wooden floors.
Thus began his whirlwind day of back to back (to back) meetings and phone calls with barely a break even for the bathroom. At noon he left to meet with Dan and Carole Grabowski, the potential clients from Florida, who’d never been to New York City before and wanted to see the sights. He took them in a limo, and as they wove their way through the streets, he pointed out landmarks: the Empire State Building, Macy’s Herald Square, Madison Square Garden, and of course Times Square. In the daylight the sheer crowds and facades proved overwhelming, even for a New Yorker like himself. Carole wanted to see some of the theatres on Broadway, so Carter had the limo wind its way through the streets so she could take pictures of the famous marquees. The car turned the corner on West 52nd St., and the bar where Reed worked came into view as they drove up the block.
The limo sat idling, stuck in typical noontime traffic, and Carter took the opportunity to pitch his sale one more time.
“How about we head back to my office, and we can talk about what I can do for your business?”
The young, tanned couple from Coconut Creek looked at one another and shrugged.
“We don’t need that—you more than explained everything here today. I’m satisfied, and I know Carole is too,” said Dan. “I like your no-nonsense style, and we’re anxious to break into the New York scene. Why don’t we stop and have a drink and something to eat over here and toast the deal? I don’t need to be persuaded. We’re ready to sign.”
The zing of another success and pride in himself and his business rushed through him. The potential for this company was huge; New York City was at the beginning edge of a healthy-food revolution, and he planned for Dan and Carole’s business to appear at the perfect time to take advantage of it.
“I didn’t think you guys drank alcohol. Not healthy enough.”
Carole quirked a brow. “We most certainly enjoy our cocktails,” she said with a knowing smile. “How do you think we stay happily married?”
Carter still had an hour and a half before his next telephone call, and making nice with the clients was all part of the job. He leaned forward in his seat to tap on the divider.
“Can you pull over, please, when you get the chance?” The driver took the opportunity of a small space and maneuvered into a No Standing Zone spot. “Thanks. You don’t have to wait.”
“Are you sure, sir? You have the car for the next hour and a half, and then I’m scheduled to drive them back to the airport.”
Damn. “That’s right. Tell you what. We’ll be ready in an hour; try and grab yourself something to eat.”
“Very well, sir.” They got out of the car and stood on the sidewalk. It was a beautiful spring afternoon and the sidewalks hummed with hordes of people. Carter assumed Reed was in class and wouldn’t be working, and he was proven correct when they entered and he saw only one older man behind the bar.
During daylight hours the bar looked completely different than in the evening party atmosphere. Several other people had the same idea as they did, occupying two of the booths along the side wall, with drinks and lunch plates in front of them, while the bar hosted several older men, their attention captivated by an afternoon ball game on the overhead television.
The bartender came to take their orders. “I’ve seen you in here before, haven’t I?” He stared hard at Carter for a moment before recognition dawned on his face. “Oh, right, you were with Reed. He’ll be in shortly.”
A warning alarm buzzed inside Carter; the last thing he needed was for Reed to think he was forming an attachment to him by dropping by during the week. That wasn’t part of their arrangement. “You must have me mistaken. We’d like to order please; we’re in a bit of a time crunch.”
They placed their drink orders, and the bartender walked away, glancing over his shoulder with a frown. Carter didn’t miss the dubious look he received but ignored it and turned back to his clients, giving them a half smile and an indifferent shrug.
“I have that kind of face people think they recognize, but they’re usually wrong. Now let me outline what I have planned for ‘Chop to It.’” He kept talking, taking out from his soft leather briefcase the pad he’d brought with him to finalize their agreements. Using that and the charts he had previously downloaded from his computer to his phone, Carter smoothly outlined his plans to make their custom salad and fresh juice restaurant the next New York sensation.
The drink Carter ordered sat in front of him, remaining largely untouched as his enthusiasm for the project grew, and to his surprise almost an hour had passed by the time they finished ironing out the fine details and agreements. He took a sip of the now watery vodka and grimaced. A fresh drink appeared on the table in front of him. Grateful to the bartender, he glanced up from his notepad to thank him, only to be shocked by the sight of Reed standing in front of him. The memory of their last weekend together sent a surge of lust through Carter, disturbing in its intensity. He shifted in his seat, uncomfortably hard.
“Hi,” said Reed, a hesitant smile curving his lips.
“I’m sorry, we’re busy here.”
Carter’s shoulders tensed, and he sat stony-faced. He knew it was a mistake to come here; he needed to shut this down immediately before Reed got the wrong idea and assumed Carter was here to see him. “I’ll let you know if we need anything else.”
An embarrassed flush stained Reed’s face, and his fingers clenched spasmodically at his side.
“I—You don’t—” Reed stuttered, then swallowed, and as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down Carter had a crazy desire to lick Reed’s throat and taste that all-warm skin. Instead he kept a tight rein on his emotions even as he watched Reed struggle with his own. Like that night in the club, Carter’s protective instinct flared, and he wanted to reach out and comfort Reed, but chose the coward’s way out and let Reed flounder, hating himself for not helping and for being the cause of the problem in the first place. Carter’s heart hurt almost as much watching Reed struggle as it did when he watched Jacks.
“Sure, whatever.” Reed spun around and hurried back behind the bar. From beneath half-lowered lids, Carter watched the older man pat Reed on the back and Reed jerk away from his touch with an irritated wave of his hand. A moment of shame swept through Carter when Reed, obviously still upset at the slight, closed his eyes and stood still, then, heaving a great sigh, began polishing a huge stack of glasses sitting on the bar. Carter turned back to pay attention to his clients with a practiced, smooth smile, although on the inside he felt like the shit he was.
“I think that about wraps up what we wanted to accomplish. I’m thrilled you want to work with me, and I look forward to helping you take New York City by storm.”
His phone buzzed, and it was a message that the driver had arrived back outside to take Dan and Carole to the airport. Since they wanted a chance to pick up some souvenirs before their flight, they planned to head directly to the airport. He walked them out to the car and shook their hands in farewell. Dan held the door for Carole, then climbed in and leaned out the window to speak to him one final time.
“Send me the contract today. I’ll sign it when I get home tonight, and we’ll be up and running.”
“Excellent. You’ll be hearing from me before five o’clock.”
Carter watched them drive away, then pumped his fist in the air.
He hurried back inside, and to his surprise the large stack of glasses in front of Reed had vanished, and Reed stood furiously polishing the bar even though to Carter’s eye it gleamed spotless. Unaccustomed shame washed over Carter at Reed’s obvious state of distress. He looked distraught, pale, and nothing like the confident man who’d held him down in bed and made him scream his name in passion.
Before he could stop himself, Carter strode through the bar and took hold of Reed’s wrist, dirty washcloth and all. No surprise, however, when Reed yanked away from Carter’s grasp and turned away, his body stiff with tension.
Carter had no choice but to speak to Reed’s back. “I’m sorry, but it was a business meeting, and I don’t mix business with pleasure.” Even as he spoke the words, Carter heard how weak an excuse it sounded.
Vibrating tight with anger, Reed threw the washcloth on the floor and faced him.
“It wasn’t that. I don’t… You…” Reed’s chest heaved, and he looked as if he was holding on to the edge of his rapidly deteriorating self-control.
Without thinking Carter went into protective mode; his only thought now was to calm Reed down from his overwrought state.
“Shh. It’s okay. Take deep breaths and relax.” Like he did when Jacks had bad moments, Carter kept his voice soft and soothing, hoping to temper Reed’s anxiety, and after a few moments it worked; Reed’s breathing steadied, and he was able to draw a deep breath and speak again.
“I don’t like this, this,”—he waved his hand in the air, his lips thin with anger—“whatever you call what we have going on between us. I understand your need for holding your professional life separate from your private life. I get that.”
“Then what’s the problem?” Carter genuinely didn’t understand.
“It was the way you dismissed me, like I wasn’t worth the time you took to speak to me. It brought me back to our first night together when you thanked me for sleeping with you, like I was the hired help. I’m a person, Carter, with feelings. We may only be hooking up, but that doesn’t mean you get to ignore me in public. Or think it’s crazy for me to text or call you sometimes. There’s no reason to be ashamed of me, yet you are. I’m a human being with real feelings, not someone you simply fuck once a month and forget.”
Standing at the bar listening to Reed unburden himself, Carter understood the damage he caused by his selfishness, but he didn’t have the ability to change course. “Will you sit down with me? I have a meeting to get back to at the office, but maybe we can talk before I leave.”
For a moment Carter thought Reed might refuse. The sharp line of his jaw remained tense with anger, and a muscle ticked in the smooth skin.
“Please?”
Reed gestured to the table Carter had sat at with Dan and Carole. “I have to clean the table anyway, so you might as well sit.” Without waiting for a response, Reed walked off and Carter trailed behind, admiring the fit of the snug, dark-wash jeans across his ass.
Carter liked the slightly dominant side of Reed that surfaced every once in a while. It usually had to be coaxed out of him, but now he seemed in full command. And for Carter it was a huge turn-on. Perhaps it was the result of fending for himself since he was a child and now being so tightly cordoned off from any personal contact except for Jackson that made Carter secretly long to cede that control to someone else.