The Beginning of Us (126 page)

Shouldn’t I be glad that he was somehow always going to be in my life? Had I wasted so many years of not being with them over something that was just an adolescent action?

I looked over at Stosh. He took his arm and pulled me closer. We stared into each other’s eyes. As much as I wanted to be the better person, I couldn’t imagine not having him for myself. In one selfish move, I leaned up to his mouth and kissed those perfect lips. While our physical contact became downright involved, I had not one single regret. In fact, my sister never even crossed my mind.

After several minutes of tasting every inch of his tongue, I pulled away. We kept looking at each other. It was so intense. “I love kissing you. I love everything about you. I know you want to walk away from this. You think I don’t want you, but you’re wrong. I want you, babe. You’re all I want.”

It was too much to hear. I’d switched back to Ivy and realized that he was talking to her. He was so in love with her that this was an attempt to get them to reconnect. I was giving him false hope at reconnecting with his wife. It was wrong on so many levels and it made me feel like shit inside.

I got up, out of his arms. “I need to use the bathroom. Be right back!”

I hurried into the small bathroom and buried my face into my hands. The tears were falling and I didn’t know what to do. Ivy was my only sister. I couldn’t do this to her. Even if she didn’t want to work things out with him. I could never be with him. It would never work.

Knocking caught me off guard. “Babe, are you alright?”

I wiped the remaining tears off of my cheeks. “I’m fine. Just needed to freshen up.”

“I’m going to start cooking the chicken. You sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah. I’ll be out in a second.” I leaned over and washed my face, before looking at myself in the mirror. I had to decide whether to be Ivy or my self. Without questioning my sanity, I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and dialed my sister. It went right to voicemail. I called back again and this time she answered.

Hello?

Hey, it’s me. Listen, things are getting intense and I don’t know what to do. He brought me on his parent’s boat to try and work things out with you. What am I supposed to do now?

Great. I can’t believe it has taken him this long to admit what he wants.

Ivy, can you please just help me here?

Oh yeah, sorry. I guess you’re going to have to keep him happy.

What are you implying?

For Christ sakes Willow, I told you to do whatever you have to. Look, Stosh and I aren’t exactly on the same page.

What are you saying?

You’re a grown woman. Figure it out! Please don’t call me unless it’s an emergency. Gotta run!

I found Stosh standing over the stove. He was preparing a nice salad in a large wooden bowl. He heard me walking up behind him and he leaned back to kiss me on the cheek. “There you are. I thought you got lost.”

I tried to smile. “I knew where I was.”

We both laughed.

“Would you mind setting two places and pouring us a glass of wine?”

I opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of red wine. It was weird how my sister liked the same brands as me. We’d always been that way. I’d once saw a picture of her on Facebook and she was wearing a jacket that I had just bought. Since we didn’t even live in the same state, I knew she’d gotten in online.

Once the table was set, I handed Stosh his glass and he tapped it against mine. “To us.”

I smiled and thought about what that meant. “To us!”

The night was still young and the elephant in the room was getting restless.

I kept seeing that saying in my mind ‘The truth will set you free’. It wasn’t setting me free. It was making me go crazy.

Chapter 5

Sexual Chocolate and Rainbows and Sunshine.

After eating dinner, and finishing off two bottles of wine, we were both feeling the effects. I wasn’t belligerent. In fact, I knew exactly what I was doing. Things were just way more relaxed.

It was a good thing that I’d never ran out of things to talk about with Stoshua. To keep up with the charade, I sat across from him, discussing the economy and what it would be like to live in another country. I felt comfortable, like nothing was going to happen to jeopardize anyone’s relationship. That was until he brought out a bag of chocolate covered strawberries.

“Look what I found in the refrigerator.” He smiled so big that creases on either side of his cheeks looked like dimples.

“I think you put them there.” I grabbed the bag and read that they had been soaked in liquor, before being dipped in chocolate. My eyes got big as I looked up at him.

He put his arms up surrendering. “Maybe I did.”

He grabbed the bag and pulled one out, taking a bite, before putting it up to my lips and waiting for me to respond. The way he watched me was so intense. I never took my eyes off of him as he fed me.

He licked his lips, so I licked mine.

His face got closer, but our eyes never closed.

I felt his mouth touching mine.

My eyes closed and he swept me away with his erotic kisses. I felt his hand grabbing the back of my head, so I grabbed his. Our tongues stroked and mingled together. Our warm, wet kisses were just the beginning. His hands went right for my tank top and I didn’t stop him. I needed to feel his hands on my skin. I felt him sliding them up to my ribs and right under my bra. He pulled his lips away from mine, but only to start kissing over my neck. I put my head to the side so I could feel his lips working their way over every part of it.

I grabbed his shirt and balled the fabric into my fist. The more I tugged, the higher his shirt lifted. With little effort, he pulled on it from behind, in between kisses, and removed it over his head.

I paused for a moment and looked at his chest. A little patch of hair sat at the top. I ran two fingers over it, learning how he’d turned from a teenager to a grown man. He wasn’t just sexy, he was tantalizing.

I was on fire for this man.

He looked into my eyes as he grabbed the edge of my shirt. Moving as slow as possible, he lifted the tank over my head. I didn’t feel shy or embarrassed. All I felt were the butterflies fluttering inside of me. I’d waited and wanted. This was my chance.

I stood up and unhooked my bra, twirling it around in between my fingers. He leaned back, but went right for the button to my shorts. I took a step closer, so he didn’t have to reach so far. He pulled both my shorts and my underwear down to my hips and pulled me close enough so that he could kiss me there. I watched his lips trail from one hip, across my abdomen, then to the next hip. I could feel the tingles all the way up to my nipples. In fact, they hardened immediately.

I bit down on my lips and watched him tug them down another couple of inches. Thank God I’d shaved everything when I grabbed a quick shower before we left. That would have been so embarrassing.

It wasn’t like I’d had anyone to impress. It didn’t look like I was an Amazon woman down there, but it was still in need of attention.

My bottoms were just at the base of my pussy. His tongue licked the skin right above it. I ran my hands through his dark hair and threw my head back. I hadn’t been touched like this in a long time.

Actually, I don’t know if anything had ever felt this way before. This was different. This was Stoshua.

He pulled my bottoms off of me, allowing me to step out of them, then he pulled me back down to kneel in front of him. He pushed the hair away from my face. “So beautiful.”

I was completely naked in front of him, feeling warm and free from the alcohol. He grabbed another strawberry and took a bite before feeding me the rest. Our next kiss tasted of fruit, but was even deeper than the first.

“Tell me you want me.” He requested.

I did want him. I wanted him more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life. “I do.”

He took my hand and ran it over his trunks. “Feel how much I want you.”

He only had to move my hand across it once, before I slid it down the front of his shorts. He was so warm, so smooth, so hard. I gasped as I got my hand around his girth. He groaned when I began to massage it with one hand.

I liked my lips again, salivating at just the idea of having it in my mouth. I wasn’t promiscuous, but I wanted this man. I wanted to feel his smooth shaft against my lips as I took him into my mouth. I needed to have him. I wanted him inside of me.

His head leaned close to my ear. He kissed it before speaking. “I’m so in love with you.”

Then I just froze.

I was kneeled in front of him, with my hand down his pants and all I could think about was him being married to my sister. They’d said vows. He was in love with her. This whole day was about them working things out.

What kind of person was I?

I stood up and grabbed my clothes, covering myself with them, the best I could. “Oh God! I can’t do this.”

“Babe, wait! Where are you going?”

“Stosh, I’m so sorry. I never meant for it to go this far. I swear.”

He tried to grab my arm, as I began putting on my clothes. I was already crying, desperately trying to figure out how I was going to explain myself to Ivy. I was supposed to be keeping everything in order while she was gone, not seducing my way into her husband’s heart, making him think I was her. I hated myself. “Can you just hold on a minute. We’re on a boat.”

“You need to take me back to shore, Stosh. Trust me, this was a huge mistake.”

When I had my shorts up and my bra hooked, he spun me around and held my arms with both hands. “Is this because I said I loved you?”

I shook my head, but continued to cry. “You’re never going to forgive me for this. I’m so sorry. I’m an awful person.” I pulled out of his hold and started to go down toward the galley. I just wanted to lock myself in the bathroom until we were back.

“Willow, wait!”

I froze, halfway inside and yet still topside. I said nothing, thinking I just imagined it.

I could feel him standing right behind me. “Please don’t walk away from me.” He sounded like he was about to bawl.

I turned slowly, looking him right in the eyes. He was breathing heavy and his eyes were intensely staring right at me. “I meant everything I said.”

“I don’t understand.” I took one step back.

He took one step forward. “You think I can’t tell the difference between you and Ivy? I’ve been in love with you since the first day I saw you. The two of you may be identical, but there’s nothing about you that’s the same to me.”

I just kept looking at him. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. “How long have you known?”

He chuckled. “Since I walked into a clean house.” He took one step closer. “Since you cooked me the best home cooked meal that I’ve had in years.” He took another step closer. “Since you sat there watching a channel that your sister can’t stand.” He took one hand and ran it down my arm. “Since you put ranch on your steak.” He brought my hand up to his lips. “Since you ordered that doughnut, when you wanted my fritter.”

“You were testing me?” For just a second, I felt played. Sure, I was pretending to be someone else the whole time, but it still rubbed me the wrong way. “Why did you let me keep acting like her?”

“Would you have spent time with me, if you knew I knew? Would you have let me kiss you?”

That tingly feeling overwhelmed me again. I thought about all of the places that his lips had been. “I…”

“Willow, more than anything, I knew it was you the first time I kissed you yesterday. Nobody has ever kissed me like that, except you, in the hallway when we were in high school. I know you remember it.”

I didn’t know what to say. “I don’t understand.” I had to sit down, because I was feeling like I was going to pass out. “Please tell me what’s going on. You’re married to my sister. I can’t be with you, Stoshua.”

“You want to though, right? You want to be with me?”

I wanted to answer him, but this was wrong in so many more ways than me just pretending to be Ivy. He hadn’t even asked about his wife. “Do you know where Ivy is?”

He shrugged. “I don’t care.” He sat down beside me and leaned in, like he was going to kiss me.

I pushed him away. “I care!”

He laughed at me. “Will, you’ve been gone for four years. Your sister hasn’t changed a damn bit. She’s a manipulative bitch. Did you think you were really here to help her?”

“She said she needed my help. She said she was desperate.” Now I really wanted to know why she’d asked me to come. What was he not telling me?

“She needs help, but it isn’t something you can do. That bitch is mental. She thinks she can control people like they’re her puppets.” I could hear the hate in his voice.

“Stop saying that! She’s your wife. You loved her and you married her. I know it, because I was there!” I pointed right at him. “I won’t let you say these lies about her.”

He shook his head and looked away. “I should have known you’d act this way.” He got up and walked away.

I sat there in the pale moonlight and tried to gather my thoughts. I thought about all the things that he’d been saying since we’d been together. He was talking to me the whole time. For so many years, all I wanted was to be his.

None of this made sense. It was too much to take. I felt like I was in the middle of a web of lies.

I found Stosh sitting on a cushioned bench at the bow of the boat. He had a bottle of liquor in his hand and was looking out at the water. He didn’t even look my way as I approached him. “If you came over here to bitch me out, save it! I’m not in the mood, Will. I can say I’m sorry a million times, but you’re never going to believe me. I know I fucked up.” He took the bottle and threw it out as far as he could, then put his hands over his head and looked down.

What was I supposed to say when I had no idea what was going on?

I wanted to know the truth.

I wanted to know where my sister was and why she’d asked me to come.