The Beginning of Us (128 page)

I started to laugh. “I missed you, too.”

He walked away, leaving me staring at the book.

I traced Ivy’s name on the front and the words ‘keep out’. Obviously, Stosh wanted me to read it. It felt wrong, but I had to know the truth, no matter what it was.

I took a deep breath and opened it to the first page.

Chapter 7

Back Stabbing Bitch.

We got the little books when we were fourteen, so the first couple pages were her complaining about her hair and talking about crushes she had. It wasn’t until I got halfway in when things became apparent.

Jan 26
^th

Once again my parents praised Willow for her perfect report card. Do they even pay attention to me at all? I kept my room clean for the whole month and they never even walked inside. Of course, little Mrs. Perfect got to go out to a fancy dinner at the country club with dad for getting straight A’s. Can’t they see that I need help with my school work? I guess they only need one child to make them proud.

Feb 10
^th

My sister is so oblivious to life. She hides behind those books, like she’s too good for everyone else. Now she’s all up in that new guy’s ass. They make me sick, smiling at each other the way they do. It’s so damn obvious they want each other. If that dude thinks the virgin Mary is going to give it up, he’s going to have a shriveled up dick while waiting. PATHETIC. That’s what they are!!!

I was already crying after reading just those two. I couldn’t believe she was saying those things about me and then acting like we were best friends.

April 15
^th

Shoot me now! I hooked up with someone at a party and I can’t remember which guy it was. Randy is hotter, but Ben is built better. I wouldn’t want to date either of them exclusively. Shoot me now!!

Why does this always happen to me? I didn’t even drink a lot. Maybe I shouldn’t have taken the ecstasy. My period is due in two weeks. Hopefully I get it and this nightmare will be over with. My parents will kill me if I get pregnant. They offered to get my sister an apartment at college, but haven’t offered me shit. I can’t wait to get out of this Hell hole. I will find a way.

April 27
^th

I have got to figure out how to get away from this cesspool of assholes. It’s exhausting trying to pretend that I give a damn. Now I know why kids scheme to kill their parents. I’d do it myself if I wasn’t scared that they’ve left everything to Willow. It’s apparent who their favorite is, so clearly they’d leave me on the street. The sad part is that Willow would feel sorry for me and share. Why does she have to be so pathetically sweet? Ugh! I hate her so much!

May 20
^th

I am so sick of hearing about my sister getting into her dream college. Gag me please. The worst part is that she doesn’t know if she wants to go. She says she doesn’t want to leave me. I just want her gone! I am so sick of living in her shadow. I want my own life.

May 22
^nd

Something amazing happened today. Willow won’t know what hit her. I’m going to get that little bitch for everything she’s ever taken from me. When I’m done with her she’ll leave and never come back. The best part was that I didn’t even have to look for it. It came looking for me.

May 23
^rd

Can this guy be anymore lame? I mean, who wants a guy that acts like an old man. He actually opened the door for me. We aren’t even really dating. He thinks I am letting him date me to make my sister jealous and like him. What an idiot.

I will never forget the look on her face when we told her we were going to Prom. She looked like she was going to throw up.

I hope she did. She deserves it.

I wish she didn’t exist.

She gave me some excuse for not wanting to go to Prom, like she was too good to be acting like a teenager. Gag me! I hate her so much.

May24th

Hearing my sister cry herself to sleep, never gets old. That’s what she gets for making me cry myself to sleep for years. She doesn’t know what it’s like to hear her own parents saying that she’d never amount to anything.

She’s so upset over this guy. Soon, she will pack her shit and leave. My plan couldn’t have worked out better. Only a few more little details and I’ll be waving goodbye to that bitch once and for all.

I slammed the book shut and began to bawl. Everything I ever knew about my sister had been a lie. She’d set me up and watched me fall. I’d never felt so much hatred in my entire life.

Stosh must have heard me. He came running in and wrapped me in his arms. “Willow, I’m so sorry, babe. God, I’m so sorry.” He rocked me back and forth as I let out all of the pain and frustration. I felt like I’d been abandoned. Everything that I ever thought had been a lie.

“How could she do this me? What did I ever do to deserve this?” I could barely talk, but somehow he understood me.

“I asked myself the same thing.”

There was nothing he could say that would help. He just held me and let me cry. We’d both been betrayed by my sister. She’d cost us our future together and we didn’t even know it. I couldn’t believe that I knew someone that was that vindictive.

A little while later, after I’d cried so many tears that I didn’t think I had any left, Stoshua got up and got me a drink. I sipped the water slowly, feeling like I was going to throw up.

“You’re going to be okay.” He tried to assure me.

“I appreciate that you think that, but everything that I’ve ever known about my sister has been a lie. I shared everything with her and she pretended to care. I should have known. I should have done something. She blames me for everything.”

I looked over at the diary. He saw what I was doing. “How far did you get?”

“The night before Prom.” It was hard to talk about it, without getting choked up. A couple more sobs escaped.

“You don’t have to read anymore tonight.” He grabbed my hand.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this when you found out?” He should have called. He should have told me right away.

“I guess I didn’t want to try to explain on the phone. You wouldn’t have believed me anyway. Besides…,” he pulled my hand up to his lips and placed small kisses over my knuckles, “I think it worked out better anyway. You’re here, with me. This is where you belong.”

As much as I wanted to know more, it was finally sinking in that we’d been kept apart. I was tired of hurting and I knew one thing that would take my mind away from all the pain. I looked up into his eyes, while he kept kissing my hand. “Make love to me, Stosh.”

He stopped kissing my hand and slowly sat it back down on the bed. We stared at each other for a few seconds. “What about the diary?”

I grabbed the book and tossed it across the room. “What diary?” I pulled my shirt over my head and watched him do the same. It had only been a couple hours ago that he had me naked. I wanted to be that way again.

This time, we didn’t take our time.

I’d waited five years to feel his naked body against mine. Nothing was going to keep us from being together. Clothes flew around the room as they were ripped off of our bodies. Our kissing intensified the more naked we became. We rolled around the bed like we were wresting. His sculpted body felt smooth under the palms of my hands. His ass was a masterpiece to hold. It was both muscular and soft at the same time.

The more I touched, the less I needed to know. I was memorizing every inch of his body like it was a textbook.

He held my hair back with his hand and pulled me forward. I fell on the bed on top of him, while never taking a break from his hot kisses. His tongue was like a drug. The more it teased me the more I craved. I couldn’t get enough of him touching me, watching me, seducing me.

He let go of my hair and put both hands on my ass. With slow movements, he started guiding my ass to grind over top of him. We both made sounds as the friction turned us on even more.

I sat up, letting my natural breasts  free for him to see. I ran my hands into my hair as I rocked back and forth. He held my hips and slowed my pace. “I’ve waited a long time for this. I’m not about to go fast with you, Willow. I want this to last all night. I want you to think about being with me every time we’re apart. I want you to need me, like I’ve needed you.”

He didn’t know how much I already needed him. I became his puppet and he was my master. He was in control and I wasn’t afraid. I knew I was going to love it, because I already loved him.

When Stosh picked me up and carried me topside, I wasn’t sure what he was thinking. He sat me back down, on the blanket where we’d been sitting before. The night sky was the only light out on the dark sea.

Stosh kneeled down in front of me, taking my hand and kissing his way up one of my arms. I watched his every move, making sure that I held every single kiss in the most sacred part of my memory. This was real and it was happening. I no longer had to lay in my bed and imagine being with him. I was experiencing it for myself.

He lifted my arm and placed it on his shoulder. I ran my fingers in his wavy hair. He smiled and met my lips halfway between us. While still touching his mouth to mine, I felt him loosen his lips. “I never thought we’d be like this.”

“Me either.”

He kissed my neck, then down to my breasts, taking each one into his mouth. With every touch, I felt like my heart was mending. I forgot what had brought us together, because it didn’t even matter. We were overwhelmed in each other, soaking up our emotions in our love making.

Every kiss, every touch was euphoric. He made his way down to my waist and continued on his journey until he reached my eagerly waiting pussy. I gasped when he kissed me there for the first time. His tongue became a tool, never running out of batteries. His rhythmic tongue set a pace as it put just enough pressure on my tiny bud. It didn’t take long for me to cry out into the dark of the night.

I grabbed at his hair, holding him against my sex. He continued licking me, even after I’d stopped panting. I’d never had such a powerful orgasm. It made me feel lightheaded and I wasn’t even standing. I began to tremble and as he continued kissing me down there, I cried out even more.

Finally, when I couldn’t take it anymore, he wiped away my juices with kisses that trailed up to my mouth. I tasted myself on his lips and it turned me on, knowing where he’d been.

I cleaned off his chin with my tongue, savoring the taste of what he’d done to me. The butterflies were still there, reminding me that this was different than anything I’d ever experienced with another man.

Shortly after my body relaxed, Stosh took his time, sliding inside of me. I would have returned the favor, but he was too involved to stop. I took deep breaths letting my walls adjust to his size. It fit like a glove, sliding the right amount of intensity to feel perfect. Our moans echoed off the still water. He felt so good, going in and out of me.

We changed positions, with me sitting on his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rocked my body around. He seemed to enjoy the way I moved my hips. He grabbed the cheeks of my ass and used his strength to steady a good pace.

My nipples hardened as they rubbed over his hard chest. I leaned into kiss his lips, and tease him with my tongue. Then I leaned back, showing him the way my own stomach muscles looked as we made love.

There was nothing that could stop us, short of the boat sinking, and that wasn’t happening. We were completely alone and together as we should have always been. I finally understood why he’d wanted to bring me out into the middle of the open water. I appreciated the way everything was playing out. It didn’t matter what the next day would bring. I wasn’t going to be alone anymore. No matter what I had to do, I was going to be with him.

We made love for hours, taking breaks when we became out of breath and going back at it after resting. We couldn’t get enough of each other and I think we both knew that as long as we were making love, we didn’t have to worry about anything else.

There would be consequences for what she’d done to us.

I was ready for them.

I think we both were.

Chapter 8

You were my idol. I wish you were dead.

I’m not sure exactly what time it was. I woke up wrapped in a blanket, in Stosh’s arms, on the floor of the boat. The wind was brisk and the once calm waters were a bit more rough. I sat up and looked around, before standing up and going beneath to use the bathroom.

I hadn’t meant to stop in the bedroom, but I wanted to grab our pillows. I made it halfway to the door when I tripped over the diary. My stomach dropped when I thought about the things my sister had said and done to me. I felt betrayed in the worst way.

This was someone that I would have given my life for. I’d give her an organ if she needed it. I would have done anything for her.

How could she hate me the way she did? How could she want to sabotage my life? Who does something like that? Who did she think she was, playing God like she was allowed to?

I didn’t even know her.

I certainly didn’t like her.

I picked up the little book and opened it where I left off.