The Believer (39 page)

"Perhaps to see;" Elder Joseph suggested.

"Nay, she covers it with a towel. She carries it to set fires. Remember the fire at the West Family bathhouse? That was started with just such a lantern"

Hannah looked down at her feet. Elizabeth's heart sank as she saw the guilt on Hannah's face. "You didn't, Hannah. Surely you didn't;' she said.

Hannah looked up at her. "I didn't start the first two fires, but I heard people talking that maybe Payton had. I knew he didn't, but I thought it good for them to think he did. I wanted them to make Payton leave with us. So I set fire to the bathhouse. Everybody was in bed. No one was taking a bath. But my fire didn't burn. It just fizzled out:' Big tears rolled down Hannah's cheeks. "I'm sorry, Elizabeth. I know that was a bad thing to do, but I wanted us to be together. I didn't want to lose Payton like we lost our father."

When Elizabeth reached out her arms toward Hannah, the two sisters who had been holding her turned loose. Hannah ran into her embrace. The other Shakers stepped back away from them until they were alone in the middle of a circle with the elder and Sister Ruth.

"See. It is as I said,' Sister Ruth declared with satisfaction.

Elizabeth glared over the top of Hannah's head at her. "No, it is not as you say. If not for Hannah seeing the men set the fire and raising the alarm, the house might be burned to the ground and we might not be standing here unharmed. You should be thanking her instead of condemning her." She tightened her arms around Hannah.

Sister Ruth started to speak again, but Elder Joseph stopped her with a look before he turned back to Elizabeth. "There is truth in your words. On the other hand, we cannot condone disobedience, and the child has lacked greatly in obedience since she has come into our midst"

"She has a demon. They both do," Sister Ruth said. Around her several of the Shakers pushed their hands out flat toward Elizabeth and Hannah to ward off their evil.

`Are there any among you to speak for these sisters?" Elder Joseph asked.

There was a moment of silence before Sister Nola stepped forward. "The young one has much love to give"

"Undisciplined love;' Sister Josephine spoke up behind her with no charity in her voice.

"But much love," Sister Nola insisted. "She even loved the silkworms. Her heart is pure. There is nothing of the devil in her."

Sister Lettie pushed through to the front of the circle around them. "Sister Elizabeth shows much healing skill. She has a compassionate heart and is faithful to her duty."

Elizabeth sent Sister Lettie a grateful look. She didn't know why it mattered to her that the Shakers stood ready to condemn her when she had already determined to leave them come morning, but it did.

"Faithful" Sister Ruth spat out the word. "Nay, she is only faithful to her own desires. She has refused to shed the carnal ways of the world. She flaunts the outward beauty of her face and cares not who she might lead astray among us"

"Harsh words, Sister Ruth," the elder said. "Have you proof of this?"

"Nothing I can hold in my hands, but I know it is true:" Sister Ruth did not meet the elder's eyes, but instead swept her eyes around those in the circle surrounding them. "You can look at her and see it is true:"

Elizabeth shut her eyes as an uneasy murmur rippled through the Shakers. She didn't want to take the chance that she might let her eyes stray toward Ethan and condemn him in front of his brothers and sisters by her look.

She opened her eyes when she heard Payton's voice. "My sisters of the world and I came here seeking food and shelter after the death of our father and in your kindness you took us in. I fought against coming here, but it was surely Mother Ann's guidance that caused Sister Elizabeth to insist our paths led here. While they have not accepted the Shaker way as I have, they mean you no harm. I ask you to forgive them as you have already forgiven me:"

Hannah went stiff against Elizabeth as Payton spoke. Then she pulled away from Elizabeth to peer up at her. "He is one of them. No longer our brother," she said sadly.

"No, that isn't true,' Elizabeth whispered as she smiled down at her. "He will always be our brother. Just in a different way. So be brave. No more tears" She wiped the tears off Hannah's cheeks with her fingertips.

She kept her arm around Hannah as she turned her to her side so that they were both facing the elder. "Worry not about condemning or forgiving us. We had already planned to leave your village when day dawned on the morrow. Just let us go in peace and with the clothes we wear. That is more than we brought into your village, but we have worked for the good of all in the months since"

The elder looked glad to be relieved of making judgment on them as he said, "We force none to stay with us if the pull of the world is too great, but we sorrow for all who slip back into its carnal pit of sin"

A few woes rose from among the Believers as they began stomping their feet to get rid of any evil that might leak off Elizabeth and infect them.

"We cannot let you return to sleep with those who believe. You will stay the rest of the night in the tramp room. In the morning we will bring your meal and then you can be on your way. May the Eternal Father convict you of the error of your ways before it is too late:"

Elizabeth stiffened her back and clutched Hannah's shoulder as one of the brethren came over to lead them to the farm deacon's building where the tramp room was located. Hannah jerked free of Elizabeth's hold and ran to wrap her arms around Payton's waist. He hesitated, but then put his arms around her. Elizabeth thought there were tears in his eyes when Hannah pulled away from him to run back to her.

They walked through a gauntlet of woes and hands pushing against them. The stomping increased in frenzy until the ground shook. Sister Ruth looked at her with triumph as she stomped her feet. Sister Lettie reached to touch her hand. Sister Melva stood quietly with her head bowed, perhaps in prayer. Tears ran unchecked down Sister Nola's cheeks.

And there at the end before they passed from among the Shakers was Ethan. He stood silent and unmoving as he watched them. She let her eyes dwell on his face one last time to set his image in her heart and mind. Then she lifted her chin and turned her eyes forward once more.

Ethan hardly heard the commotion going on around him as Elizabeth and the little white-haired sister followed Brother Millward toward the Farm Deacon's Shop. He had willed her to look at him and she had. One long look of goodbye.

That was as it had to be. He was a Believer. It would be good that she was gone from them. She would find her way in the world and he would continue with the Believers. As it had to be. Perhaps in time he would even forget the way her lips had felt under his.

Brother Martin stepped up beside him. "Are you in pain from your hand, Brother Ethan?"

Ethan lifted up his hand to look at the splint. "Nay, it is not anything I cannot bear"

"Then perhaps the pain on your face is for some other reason:" Brother Martin's eyes poked into him. "It might be well if you were stomping down the temptation that threatens to destroy your peace and shaking free of the carnal desires that have no place in a Believer's heart"

"Yea, Brother Martin" Ethan stomped his feet and shook his arms and hands. The mashed fingers throbbed when he shook them, but instead of surrendering to the pain, he only shook them harder. Brother Martin looked pleased. He saw only the outward display of obedience. He didn't see how inwardly the movements meant nothing to Ethan. Inwardly his heart was chasing after Elizabeth, hoping to slip into the Farm Deacon's Shop and stay with her. Hoping that she would carry memory of his love away with her.

"Do you have the need to make confession of some sin?" Brother Martin asked.

"Yea, I often err and need to clear my soul of sin:" Ethan said the words out of habit. He had no intention of confessing anything about Elizabeth. Not yet.

"Unconfessed sin is a burden that will weigh down your heart and keep you from proper worship where you must shake off all pride, lust, self-will. Everything that hinders the free circulation of the pure spirit of Mother Ann. Only then, when you have done thus, will you know true freedom from all worldly things as you put your hands to work here at Harmony Hill:"

"Yea, I will do as you say, Brother Martin"

"That is good to hear, my brother" He finally looked as if he believed Ethan. "You must rid your mind of all thoughts of our former sister. She has made her decision for evil and you have made yours for good. That is well:"

He wanted to defend her, but instead he said, "Yea, it is as it has to be:"

"Good" Brother Martin put his hand on Ethan's shoulder for a moment before he turned back toward the Centre House. "Let us go rest until the morning. I have no doubt there will be no more midnight fires:"

"The little sister said men of the world set the fire"

"And you believed her?"

"She seems to be committed to the truth," Ethan said.

"What about the fire she started at the West Family bathhouse?"

"She did not lie about it. I think she spoke the truth. That men of the world tried to burn the Gathering Family house:" Ethan didn't know why he defended the child when he had not defended Elizabeth, but he didn't back down from his words as he braced himself for Brother Martin's displeasure.

But Brother Martin didn't disagree with him. "You could be right. We will need to keep watch. But even so, those men seem to have followed our former sister into our midst. You know yourself of the man who tried to carry the fallen one away. So Sister Ruth was right about them being the cause of the trouble, even if she did step too far from reason saying they had demons. Of course it is not so far wrong to call unsurrendered worldly desires demons. Such desires can torment a soul and lead only to destruction"

Destruction. Was that where he was headed? If only he could have done as Brother Issachar said. If only he could have found the courage to follow his heart. Then he could be there with Elizabeth waiting for the morning. But what did he know of the world except that every time he ventured into it tragedy awaited?

Elizabeth stared out the small window of the tramp room and dreaded the first fingers of dawn lighting up the sky while Hannah slept peacefully against her side on the narrow bed. It had not bothered Hannah to have the Shakers lock them in, but the turning of the key had seemed to echo in Elizabeth's spirit.

She was a prisoner. And while the Shakers were stern but kindly captors, she knew that when the door opened and she was let out to begin her new path, her next captor had no kindness. Colton had slept in this room, had been a prisoner for a night there himself once. Sister Melva had told her so, and it was as if his presence lingered there yet to leer at her from the dark corners of the room. She would never know freedom again.

As the sun began to push light up over the eastern horizon, the rising bell rang. All across the village, the Shaker sisters and brethren were rising for another day of work and worship. Yesterday she had been one of them, hurrying to dress and make her way to Sister Lettie's Medicine Shop. Today she could only sit and wait for the door to be opened.

Sister Melva brought them breakfast shortly after the bell rang for the morning meal. Along with the meal she brought two clean dresses and underclothing for them to wear away for the village. She fussed over the dresses as she laid them out on the bed. "It doesn't have the collar or the cap. Eldress Rosellen said you wouldn't need those in the world, but the material is good. It will last you many months:"

"Thank you:" Elizabeth touched the skirt of one of the dresses and felt a prickling of tears in her eyes. "That is very generous of you:"

"Nay, it's a necessary gift. We couldn't send you away naked" Sister Melva looked down a moment before she went on. "We would that you would stay. Become one of us"

Hannah moved over in front of Elizabeth and gave Sister Melva a hard look as if fearful Elizabeth would be swayed by the sister's talk.

Sister Melva sighed. "But I see that is not to be"

"Nay;" Elizabeth said, falling without thinking into the Shaker talk. "But I won't forget your kindness to me. To us:"