The Blank Canvas (Apartment #2) (9 page)

“Oh this is just perfect! I will bring you over to the dark side yet, young Skywalker.” Emma loved to picture herself as the head of an evil empire of fashion fierceness.

They spoke about the date: where they might be going and how formal it might be. After deciding on an elegant wrap dress and the perfect pair of heels, Emma’s voice grew concerned.

“Hey, all of the fun stuff aside, are you really okay with this?”

“Okay with what? Having you help me? Of course, or I wouldn’t have called.”

“No, no. Everything with Ethan. This date. Giving things a real try with him even though he hurt you so badly.”

“I’m not sure,” Lily said honestly. “Part of me feels like I’m walking on eggshells, and the other part feels like a giddy schoolgirl who’s getting everything she ever wanted. I’ll admit that I’m still feeling a little resentful and I’m not completely sure that I trust him yet, but I’ve only ever wanted him back… that’s never changed. Now that I have that chance, I really don’t want to spend the rest of my life making him eat shit.”

I also don’t want to spend the rest of my life waiting for him to freak out and leave again
.

“So you’re just going to forgive and forget it all? I mean, I love my brother dearly and I hope this all works out, but if it were me, I might make him sweat a bit.”

“Yes, but what you guys keep forgetting is that he promised me nothing before, and I was the one who hoped for everything. I wasn’t even officially single and I had planned my whole future with him. I should have ended it with Scott a lot sooner than I did, and made myself truly available. I am the one who set myself up to be hurt so badly, so while I might appreciate an explanation from him as to why he took off like that, I still couldn’t ever imagine putting
all
the blame on him.”

“Wow, you’re better than me. I would be trying to find ways to get even.”

“But get even for what, Emma? Not saying goodbye? Yeah, that stung like a motherfucker, but even if he hadn’t been such a chickenshit about it and had told me why he was leaving, it was still his right to leave. Just because one person is okay with how something is working doesn’t mean the other person is. That would be like saying nobody ever has the right to end a relationship if the other person is content.”

“Yeah, I guess, but—”

“But what?” Lily interrupted. “Think about it. He didn’t cheat on me, he didn’t lie to me, and he would never hit me. He just… left. It hurt and I missed him like crazy, but if he’s willing to give it a real try and not run away at the first sign of trouble, then so am I.”

“Well I guess you have your answer now, don’t you?” She could tell Emma was smiling.

“You little shit. You did that just to drag my real feelings out, didn’t you?”

“But you’re sure now, aren’t you?” Emma giggled.

“Okay, I’m letting you go now. You’re too evil for me, Darth.” Lily ended the call, frustrated but laughing.

* * *

When 6:30 finally arrived, she was dressed in a curve-hugging dark blue silk wrap dress and a killer pair of black high-heeled shoes. Her hair was in loose curls that were hanging down over her shoulders and she wore a light dusting of makeup to even out her skin tone. She was watching the clock nervously and pacing around the room, hoping she wasn’t making the biggest mistake of her life.

When the knock sounded at her door a few minutes later she almost jumped, somehow missing the sound of his footsteps on the stairs. She rushed to the door, stopping briefly to take a deep breath and calm down. It turned out to be pointless once she got a good look at her date.

Ethan was literally breathtaking.

He was standing before her wearing a mouth-watering charcoal gray suit that she could only assume had a designer label and a sleek black tie. It was clearly tailored to fit his broad shoulders, and it somehow even made his bruised face look civilized, as if he were some bad boy rich kid who got punched out at a casino in Monte Carlo. Simply put: Ethan was fuckhot.

It took her a moment to find her words, and before she could speak he cut her off. “Wow,” he breathed. “You look… amazing.”

“That’s funny,” she laughed softly. “I was going to say the exact same thing about you.”

“Here, I brought you these,” he said as a telltale pink colored his cheeks. She looked down to see his hand holding out a gorgeous bouquet of pink stargazer lilies.

“Oh Ethan, they’re so lovely! Please, come in while I put them in some water.”

“I hope that you don’t think lilies are too predictable, since that’s your name and everything. I just wanted to bring you something different than the standard roses.”

“No, I love lilies! I love all kinds of lilies, but these are actually my favorite,” she said with her own blush.

As she walked into the kitchen he followed behind her, leaving the front door wide open on purpose—secretly hoping that having it open might prevent him from grabbing her and throwing her down on the floor. She looked so unbelievably sexy in that wrap dress, just thinking about what one tiny little tug on the tie could do had him adjusting himself in his pants already. Also, he’d never seen her wearing anything other than sneakers or boots. The full-on fuck-me heels she was sporting now were worthy of their very own fetish.

He hovered in the entrance to the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe as he watched her grabbing a vase under the sink. The sight of her bending over made him groan under his breath, but it was masked by a loud yowl from down by his feet. He looked down to see a tubby orange tabby cat pawing at his legs.

“Well, hello there,” he smiled, bending down and scratching the cat’s head. “I don’t think I’ve met
you
before.” Another yowl came from behind him. Ethan turned his head to see an identical cat staring up at him before it stood up and perched its front paws on his thigh. “Or you!” he laughed.

“I see you’ve met my babies,” Lily chuckled, crouching down next to him and flashing a decent amount of cleavage as she did so. “Ethan Foster, this is Wembley and Boober.”

“I guess we’re down at Fraggle Rock, huh?” he laughed loudly, scratching each one on the head simultaneously. “Those are great names. But how on earth do you tell them apart?”

“Well, Wembley’s the fat one.”

“I hate to break it to you, but they’re both on the portly side.”

“I know, I know. I guess I’m just used to them. They have different stripe patterns around their eyes if you look close enough. Anyway, I’m all done if you want to get going.”

“Okay, great,” he smiled, scratching each cat on the head one more time before standing up.

“C’mon guys, stop being beggars. Mama already fed you, and he doesn’t have any treats,” she said to the cats, shooing them away from the kitchen.

“Why didn’t I see them here last night?” he asked on the way out the door.

“Oh, they were at my dad’s house. Sometimes when I’m working and he’s not, I drop them off there for the day, sort of like kitty day care. I don’t need to, they’re perfectly fine on their own for a while, but ever since I moved out, my dad sort of misses them. He’s the one who suggested it,” she laughed.

Ethan escorted her downstairs to his waiting car, and she gasped when she saw the sleek silver Lexus. “What happened to the Audi?”

“That was a rental. I have a different one now back at the house, but this one is my dad’s. Is it too pretentious? I just wanted to take you out in style.”

“No, not at all,” she said as she adjusted her safety belt. “I think it’s very elegant. Thank you for going to so much effort for me tonight.”

Ethan turned to face her, illuminated by only the dashboard light. “You’re worth it, Lily.”

She was thankful that the darkness of the car hid her blush.

* * *

They made polite conversation the entire way to Bettendorf, each of them sneaking longing looks at the other when they had the chance. When they pulled up in front of the restaurant she was surprised that it looked like such a simple place from the outside. She’d assumed that Ethan would hunt down the most lavish place available in an attempt to wow her, but The Red Crow Grille just looked like a basic restaurant at the end of a strip of businesses.

Until they went inside.

It was the fanciest place she’d ever been taken by far. The waiters wore long aprons and described the menu items at length. They had food she’d never heard of, paired with wines she’d never tasted. To say that she was out of her element was putting it mildly.

“I hope you don’t think it’s too much,” Ethan whispered as they were led to their table. He had reserved one of the special oversized red booths by the pianist. “It was one of the nicest places in town, and I really just wanted to make this evening special.”

“No, not at all… I think it’s charming, actually. I’ve never… oh, never mind.”

“Please,” he said as they were seated. “What were you saying? You’ve never?”

“Well… I’ve never had anyone put so much thought into anything like this for me. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t need to be wined and dined to be impressed, but this?” She gestured around the room. “This is impressive.”

Ethan smiled and reached over the table, taking her hand in his. He stroked his thumb across the backs of her knuckles in small circles as he looked deeply into her eyes. “I’m happy you’re enjoying yourself.”

He didn’t add that there was no reason she should be so moved by a simple restaurant when there were places he’d taken Rachel that cost more than most people’s car payments. She hadn’t even batted an eye at the cost, either, taking it all in as her due. That was one of the things he was beginning to treasure about Lily: she actually appreciated things. Hell, just thinking of how she’d teared up when he made her a fucking sandwich was enough to make him want to shower her with diamonds and sapphires. And then shower with her.

They talked and laughed as they ate, feeling more comfortable with each other by the minute. Lily updated him on all of the new changes in her life, including the fact that she was saving up for a trip to New Zealand and hopefully Australia as well if she could swing it. She had no idea how long it would take her to save enough, but even if it was still a few years away, she didn’t care. She was just happy to finally be doing something for herself.

After a while, Ethan took the conversation in a more serious direction, needing to finally be up front with her about why he left. He explained his fears and hesitations, and how he had truly thought he was doing right by her. He filled her in briefly on what she still needed to know about him and Rachel and their rocky past full of addictions. He apologized again for leaving the way he did, and then shared the story of how Eric had found him and literally knocked some sense into him.

“When I asked you last night if that was why you were coming to see me, you said ‘yes and no.’ What did you mean by that?” Lily asked, handling the subject matter much better than Ethan had anticipated.

“I guess I just meant that technically, yes, his punching me out was what finally got me motivated to get off my brooding ass and come back here to fight for you. But no, it wasn’t what made me want to do it.” He reached over and took her hand again, fighting to ignore the instant jolt he felt at the contact. “You’ve got to believe me, Lily. I thought of nothing else for months… I just honestly figured you had gotten married and it was too late. I let myself get sucked into some sort of downward pity spiral, convinced that I was too damaged and not good enough for anybody, even my own family. I should have given them more credit than that… and I should have had faith in you.”

Lily wiped her eyes quickly and patted the back of his hand with her own. “I should have ended things with my ex so much sooner and told you how I was starting to feel about you—your little privacy rules be damned. I guess I was too scared that you would reject me.”

He swallowed uncomfortably. “Man, I guess I didn’t help that perception by running away like a thief in the night, did I? I have to be honest and say that I think I also panicked because things went from playful to serious way faster than I expected. It was all such a romantic notion, having this unattainable secret lover… it made me want you for myself even more. And then when I found out that not only were you actually leaving him, but you were also friends with my entire family and they loved you? I just started freaking out, trying to convince myself that nothing could be so perfect. I was so wrong… because to me, you
are
perfect.”

She wiped another tear from the corner of her eye, blinking rapidly until she could see him clearly again. “Maybe you should wait ’til you get to know me better. I’m far from perfect, Ethan.”

“But that’s another thing that makes you perfect for
me
.”

After they had lingered at their table for over two hours, sharing dessert as they talked, Ethan signaled for the check. As they walked to the car he asked her if he could take her out for a drink before they headed back.

“Of course, but they had a full bar at the restaurant,” she said, confused.

“I know, but there’s a place I’ve been meaning to check out just across the river in Rock Island, over in The District. They have live music.”

“That sounds great,” Lily smiled.

He drove them to The Rock Island Brewing Company, RIBCO for short, and although it was obvious they were way overdressed, Lily found the place charming. She had heard about it before from friends at work but had never been to a show there.

They grabbed a small table in the back and listened to an adorable girl on tour from San Francisco called Uni & Her Ukelele who sang the most quirky, beautiful songs about unicorns and rainbows and love and heartache, all while playing a mean ukulele. They sat with their heads together for almost an hour, whispering questions and answers during the song breaks about their favorite music and artists. Lily leaned her head on his shoulder at one point and he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her even closer to him in silence, both of them touched by how right it felt.

When the set was over, Ethan bought two CDs from the singer (intentionally overpaying for them), and thanked her for a great show. When Lily asked why he bought two, he explained that this way they could each have one as a souvenir of their first date together.