The Blank Canvas (Apartment #2) (10 page)

She knew without even listening that it was already her favorite CD she’d ever owned.

The drive back to Aledo was fairly quiet, both of their minds preoccupied with arousal and self-restraint. When they arrived back at her building Ethan walked her upstairs, both of them stopping to face each other in the hallway when she opened the door.

“Lily… thank you so much for joining me tonight,” he said quietly. “I had a great time and I hope you did too.”

“I had an excellent time! Thank you.”

The silence was deafening as they stared openly at each other’s lips. As if pulled together by magnets, their bodies drifted toward each other almost unconsciously. When they were only mere inches apart, Ethan raised his hand slowly and cupped her cheek, as if he were holding the most priceless, fragile treasure in existence.

“Lily,” he gasped, and she could feel his hand shaking.

“What’s wrong?” she whispered, almost against his lips. She could tell he was holding back even the simplest of kisses.

“I just can’t believe that you’re really in my arms again. Dreams aren’t supposed to come true twice… I don’t want to fuck this up.”

“Ethan,” she whimpered, “please kiss me!”

Unable to resist her plea, he finally closed the distance, covering her mouth with his own. He had intended for it to be soft and gentle, only a small taste of a still-forbidden fruit, but when she cried out and shoved her hands into his hair, he went a little mad. A loud groan tore from his throat as he drove the tip of his tongue between her succulent lips, instantly tangling it with hers. The silky texture he felt brought so many memories flooding back to him that he feared he might cry, both out of frustration and the joy of being able to experience them again.

His arms wrapped around her waist tightly as he shoved her against the doorframe, grunting into her mouth when he felt his erection brush against her stomach. Lily moaned and rubbed herself against him more firmly, causing starbursts to explode behind his eyes.

“Ethan,” she panted as she came up for air. “Do you want to come inside?” She knew if she hadn’t spoken, things probably would have continued on seamlessly, but she also wanted it to be his conscious choice after the way he’d acted the night before.

She could see the very moment that awareness of his surroundings entered his heated gaze, and suddenly it was his turn to whimper. Dropping his forehead to her shoulder, he took a few deep breaths before slowly pulling away.

“It’s not a question of
want
,” he choked out, squeezing his eyes shut tightly and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Of course I
want
to, but I promised myself that I wouldn’t. Not yet.”

“What is it that you’re waiting for?” she asked softly, trying to hide the rejection she felt.

“I need to make you truly believe how important you are to me first. I don’t think I’ve done that yet.”

“Ethan, I’m not looking for penance.”

“I know… but there is something that I’m arranging, something that I hope to do very soon. If we can manage to wait until then, I think you will finally see.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” she huffed. “It’s not like there’s some magical event that will erase everything that’s happened between us. We have an awkward history that we have to get past together. How is some grand gesture going to change that?”

“This isn’t just about waiting for a grand gesture, Lily.”

“Then will you try to explain this to me so that I can understand it better? Because the way I see it, we’re consenting adults and can have sex if we want to.” When he opened his mouth to protest she held up a hand to signal that she wasn’t finished yet. “Now, I’m willing to hear you out and you don’t have to spill the big surprise, but I need you to
stop
leaving me out of decisions that affect both of us.” She crossed her arms in front of her and looked up at him expectantly.

“
Shit
!” Ethan sighed loudly and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “I’m fucking doing it again, aren’t I? I’m totally deciding what’s best for you.”

“He finally gets it,” Lily said with a smirk.

“I’m sorry,” he groaned in embarrassment. “I have no idea how to do this. I
told
you I’ve never dated before.”

“I understand that this is new for you.” Her voice lost its irritated edge when she realized that he genuinely felt bad. “Listen, I’ll understand a lot more when you decide to
communicate
with me.”

“I’ll try,” Ethan whispered, leaning in to kiss her on the forehead sweetly. He was immediately hit with a wave of her intoxicating perfume. “Christ, you smell good!” He leaned down by her neck to inhale her deeply, which sent a shockwave of arousal through his body that caused him to shudder against her. It took him a few moments to collect himself and think clearly before he spoke again. “I promise to try my best if you promise to be patient with me.”

“Deal.” Lily smiled brightly, happy that he seemed willing to compromise, even happier that he was clearly still as affected by their proximity as she was. “Now tell me why you think we should wait.”

He took a deep breath, choosing his words carefully. “I guess I’m worried that if we start getting physical right away that’s all it’ll ever be. I get near you and all I can think about is having you again. Feeling your body moving underneath mine—”

“
Not
helping!” Lily interrupted, her breathing suddenly shallow. If Ethan kept talking like that she wouldn’t be responsible for what she did to him right there in the hallway.

“Sorry. See? I can’t even give you an explanation without it turning sexual.” He watched the rapid rise and fall of her breasts as she tried to gain her composure, forcing himself to look her in the eye when he spoke again. “This is what I’m talking about. I love that we have so much chemistry together, but I don’t want that to be all we are. I want the whole experience with you.”

“Whole experience?”

“The dating experience. I want to court you, as lame as that may sound. I want to woo you. I want to take you out to a movie. I want to cuddle with you in front of the TV and watch old reruns. I want to talk to you for hours and get to know you more than anybody else ever has.”

“You mean my ‘true soul that I hide away from the rest of the world?’” Lily asked with a shy smile, using the same phrase he’d used when they first started their affair. The beauty of those words had always stuck with her.

He looked at her then, deep into her eyes, and there was no mistaking the heat that was radiating from his gaze. “I meant that then, but it’s even more true today. I want to learn everything I can about you, not just certain parts that conveniently fit into my life.”

Lily couldn’t help herself after that—she simply had to kiss him. Her arms went around his neck and pulled him to her roughly, causing their bodies to crash together at the same time as their lips. She led the kiss, probing the spicy depths of his mouth with her tongue and conjuring a loud moan from him for her efforts.

Ethan allowed himself to enjoy the surprising embrace for a few moments longer before slowly forcing his traitorous body to back away from her. He could feel every muscle scream in protest as he did so but he knew that he couldn’t let his resolve weaken so quickly.

“Lily,” he whimpered when he saw the blazing desire in her eyes. “Please tell me you understand.” He took an extra step back from her as he waited for her reply, not trusting himself to remain so close.

“Are you saying that we can’t even make out?” She sounded out of breath and slightly panicked. “Because most couples make out, you know.”

“Oh we’re going to make out,” Ethan growled. “I plan on making out a
lot
, don’t you worry. I just hoped that we could build up to it a little bit when we’re together, or at least try. Does that sound okay?”

Lily thought for a moment, trying to ignore how kiss-swollen his lips were. She felt a strong tug deep in her belly that told her to drag him into the bedroom and show him how silly he was being, yet another part of her couldn’t deny that she wanted to see how this would play out.

“I guess a little wooing might be nice,” she finally answered, feeling the truth in her words as she said them.

Ethan sighed loudly in relief and hugged her tightly. “Thank you! Thank you for being so understanding.”

“Well, thank
you
for making me understand. I appreciate you explaining it to me and I’ll do my best to take it slow, but we both know that it’s going to be
hard
.” To emphasize the word she brushed against the front of him again, his prominent erection dragging across her stomach.

“I know,” he groaned almost painfully, forcing himself not to thrust his hips. “All we can do is try.”

“Okay then. But for the record, I am ready and willing whenever you are.”

Ethan groaned again and nodded, kissing her chastely on the cheek before pulling away from temptation.

“I’d better go. Thank you again for tonight,” he smiled weakly. “I’ll call you soon.”

“I’d like that.”

* * *

Lily stood in the doorway until he was gone, missing him already. She felt hollow and swollen, and there were parts of her that ached that she had previously left for dead.

Taking her time getting ready for bed, she skipped pajamas due to the heightened state of arousal her body was in. Slipping under the covers, she had just begun to slide her hand between her legs when her phone rang. She would have ignored it completely and called whoever it was back later, but it was Ethan’s ringtone.

“Hello?”

“Lily?” his velvety sexiness oozed through the receiver. “I know it’s late, and I just left you, but would it be ridiculous to admit that I really wanted your voice to be the last thing I heard tonight?”

She realized with rising excitement that the wooing had already begun.

“No,” she smiled. “Not at all. I was just thinking of your voice. Well, not only that, but it’s wonderful to hear again right now.”

“Are you angry with me about earlier? I hope you believe how much I wanted to stay.”

“Of course I’m not angry. It’s actually a very sweet notion. It just doesn’t help how…
tense
I am right now.”

“You and me both,” he groaned.

“Oh really?” she said, smirking in the dark as an idea came to her. “Well, let me ask you a question,” she said, dropping her voice to a husky level.

“Yeah?” She could hear his thick swallow over the line.

“Where does
talking
fall into your plan of things? I mean, we wouldn’t touch each other. We would still be waiting. Just helping each other to relieve a little bit of this tension.”

“Oh shit,” he groaned, and she could swear she heard him drop the phone. After some quick fumbling in the background, he spoke again. “God, I don’t know. Are you sure you want to?” His resolve was audibly weakening by the second.

She would gladly respect his wishes about actual touching, but she’d be damned if they were going to go another day without
some
kind of connection. Taking a deep breath, she went in for the kill.

“Come on, Ethan. We had our beautiful, romantic date… but now it’s over. I know there’s still a dirty boy inside there who’s dying to come out and play.”

“
Fuck
!” he grunted. As if someone had flipped a switch, her beautiful stranger was back. “Take off your clothes,” he commanded.

“Way ahead of you,” she sighed.

“You’ve been lying there naked this whole time?”

“Yes. I was just about to start touching myself when you called.”

“God! I’m almost sorry I interrupted you,” he groaned. “Almost.”

“I’m not. This way I can hear you, too.”

“Fuck… okay, baby… I need you to touch yourself for me. Tell me how wet you are.”

Lily slid her fingers between her slippery folds, moaning at the feeling. “Oh… so wet. I’m so fucking wet for you.”

“What does it feel like? Tell me everything.”

She swirled her fingertips around a bit more, trying to find a good way to describe the bliss she felt. “Everything’s so soft and swollen… I can barely feel my flesh because there’s so much wetness.” She could hear his breath coming in soft pants on the other end. “Did you already start? I don’t want to miss that, either.”

“Don’t worry baby, you won’t. I haven’t started yet… I’m just getting so turned on I can’t see straight. Keep going.”

“It’s throbbing so badly that I know I’ll explode in two seconds if I rub my clit, but I don’t want to be finished yet.”

“Nobody’s finishing anything yet,” he said roughly. “Even if you come, I’m not finished with you yet. Now, slide two fingers inside yourself. Tell me what it feels like.”

“God, Ethan… it’s so hot… and tight… and slippery,” she gasped.

“Now slide them in and out,” he panted. “Does that feel good?”

She did as she was told, sliding them in deeper, already feeling familiar tingles shooting up her legs. “Oh… it feels so damn good. I’m so wet that I can hear everything I’m doing.”

Ethan groaned loudly on the other end, his panting getting louder. “Baby… do something for me. Put the phone down there and let me hear you.”

“Really?” she asked. She was always a little embarrassed by the wet noises.

“Fuck, yes! I miss that delicious little pussy so much I’m about to start crying. If I were there right now I would be lapping up every fucking drop.
Now let me hear it
,” he growled.

“Okay… I’m putting you on speaker. I want to hear you, too.” She threw the covers back and slid the phone down between her legs, not wanting to miss one single grunt that he made. Pumping her fingers a bit more roughly so that he could hear, she was rewarded with a loud snarl coming through the phone.

“Fuck! I just want to bury my face in there,” his voice echoed in the darkness.

That did it. “God, Ethan! I can’t hold it!”

“Then come for me, baby. Set the phone down next to you on the pillow and use your other hand to rub your clit for me. I can hear you fine… God… please come for me!”

Ethan was going absolutely crazy on the other end, hearing every swirling motion of her fingers as she pleasured herself for him. He wasn’t lying when he’d told her that he hadn’t even started, wanting to really savor every little sound first, but the moment she let go and started screaming his name, he honestly worried that he might explode without even laying a hand on himself.