The Blank Canvas (Apartment #2) (8 page)

“Lily…” he begged one last time, but when she crossed her arms and arched an eyebrow, he knew it was now or never. He exhaled loudly, visibly defeated. “I’m sorry to end the night so abruptly. I had really only hoped that you would hear me out long enough to agree to go to dinner. I knew that was a long shot in itself, so I wasn’t really prepared to… stay longer.”

“What do you mean?” she asked. “What does it matter if we talk tonight or tomorrow?”

“I wasn’t…” he took a deep breath. “I wasn’t ready for this.” At the hurt look on her face he was quick to clarify, “Not
this
, as in you and me.” He gestured back and forth between them with his hand. “I’ve dreamt of nothing more than that for longer than you’ll ever know.”

Lily suddenly wondered how gravity actually worked. She knew she was still standing in there in front of him, but her heart was soaring somewhere up in the clouds.

“I meant that I wasn’t ready for how intense this would feel, being back here again. Being this close to you again. I want to give you time to get used to the idea of us… but if I don’t get the fuck out of here right now I’m going to do something we’ll both regret.”

“Why would we regret it?” she whispered breathlessly, her mind flashing to vivid images of his sweaty flesh as it covered hers in the darkness.

He groaned at her words, closing his eyes briefly to strengthen his resolve. “Because,” he answered honestly, “I think that you would be angry with yourself for not waiting until you got some more answers out of me.”

“And you?” she pressed, choosing to ignore how right he was. “What would you regret?”

“That’s easy. I would hate myself for not making you believe how much you mean to me first. I spent way too fucking long allowing you to think that you were nothing but a warm body to me. It’s not true… and I need to make you believe it.”

She knew then that her heart had returned to her body, because it was suddenly beating so loudly that she was surprised he couldn’t hear it across the room. “Okay… so tomorrow night, then?” she said, knowing that if he didn’t leave soon she couldn’t be held responsible for what she did to him.

“Yes,” he smiled knowingly. “Is it alright if I call you tomorrow to set up a time? I need to make a few arrangements.”

“Call me?” she mumbled. The thought seemed so absurd to her. They had shared so much together and yet had never even spoken on the phone. “Yeah, sure. Call me tomorrow.”

“I need your number,” he said nonchalantly, as if he asked beautiful women for their numbers everyday, as if the mere thought of her giving him her number didn’t make him want to cry from happiness.

“Oh!” she said, wanting to smack herself in the forehead. “That might help, huh? Let me see your phone.” She held out her hand, slowly walking forward until she was standing right in front of him.

Ethan pulled his cell from his pocket and dropped it in her open hand, careful to avoid making contact again. As he watched her quickly enter the number he’d been obsessing over all day, he took a deep breath, tasting her as he inhaled. Fire shot through his veins, traveling along his body rapidly until it settled into his fingertips, making them itch to touch her.

“There,” she smiled, holding the phone back out to him. “All programmed.”

“Thank you.” This time he allowed his fingers to slightly brush against hers as he took it back from her, watching for her reaction.

Lily gasped quietly and froze, staring up at him with heavy-lidded eyes. “Um… I think you should probably go now…
Ethan
.” Her voice dropped to a husky whisper when she said his name, causing his aching erection to twitch.

He nodded, knowing that it was her way of telling him that she wanted him just as badly, but that she was allowing him to set the pace. Taking her cue, he opened the door quickly and stepped into the hallway, as if being on the other side of the wall might actually weaken his desire enough that he wouldn’t still want to attack her.

It didn’t.

“Until tomorrow, then. Goodnight… Lily.”

She slowly closed the door, never breaking eye contact with him as the opening became smaller and smaller. He made no move toward the stairs for as long as he could still see her, and right before the door clicked shut he shot her a wink and licked his lips.

The loud whimper he could hear through the wall as he walked away had him chuckling to himself all the way to his car. It certainly hadn’t helped the epic state of arousal he was in, but just knowing that Lily obviously still wanted him and was willing to give him a chance was enough to make him feel lighter than he had in… well, years. She’d always had a way of making him feel alive when no one else could, but now she was giving him something really worth living for.

* * *

Ethan made the lonely drive back to the edge of town, where his parents were probably waiting up as though he was a teenager. They were eager to learn how his first attempt at wooing had gone. They had been so full of support for him over the last week, and it made him feel even more foolish that he’d waited so long to turn to them.

When he first arrived back home with Eric, scrawny and bruised, everyone had different reactions. Maggie had damn near ripped him a new asshole before tearing up and hugging him, whispering that she would have kicked him in the nuts and punched him if she had found him. Emma was as hyper as a humming bird, asking him thirty questions a second and bouncing up and down until she had her answers. Brandon simply stood back and reeled her in when she got out of control, which Ethan would be eternally grateful for. Barbara just cried and hugged him, begging him to please come home if things ever got that bad again. Richard was unsurprisingly the most stoic of the group, simply putting his arm around Ethan’s shoulders and patting him on the back, mumbling a quiet “welcome home, son” as he wiped at a suspicious drop of moisture in the corner of his eye.

None of them judged him for his lifestyle or his addiction; they were simply hurt he hadn’t had the faith to trust in them. They were also thrilled with his hopes for him and Lily, none of them chastising him for the fact that he’d been secretly seeing her when she was still engaged. Perhaps if they hadn’t already known her as well as they did, they might have frowned on it a bit, but while he’d been gone they had all formed close attachments to her. Apparently his entire family had a better idea of just how unhappy she’d been in her previous life than he did.

It seemed that actually talking about things helped you to understand quite a bit about people.

After his siblings returned to their homes in Chicago, his mother made it her personal mission to fatten him back up. She’d been cooking the most heart-stopping, stick-to-your-ribs meals all week, and he’d already gained five pounds. He was still a bit on the thinner side compared to how he’d looked before, but his cheekbones had some flesh around them now and his eyes no longer looked empty. Although he knew that last part had much more to do with the love and support of his family than any food he ate.

As Ethan pulled the car into the driveway, he wasn’t surprised to see a light on inside. Just as he’d suspected, Richard and Barbara were both sitting in the kitchen, casually playing a game of cards. When he walked into the room his mother’s face lit up.

“Oh, Ethan, dear! You’re back early.”

“I was just going to say that you’re up late,” he returned.

“Nonsense, it’s not even ten o’clock yet.”

“Yes, but aren’t you both usually up in bed by now, watching TV?”

“Don’t be silly. We sit up playing cards all the time.”

“Alright, Mom. If you say so,” he rolled his eyes. His father at least had the decency to look sheepish, knowing their ruse hadn’t worked. Ethan looked back and forth at their expectant faces and decided to go easy on them. “Would you like to hear how my evening went?”

“Only if you care to share, sweetheart,” Barbara answered, and he nearly laughed out loud. If she moved any closer to the edge of her seat, she’d fall off.

“She was a bit hesitant at first, but she’s agreed to let me take her to dinner tomorrow night.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” his mother gasped, jumping up to hug him tightly. “I’m so proud of you for refusing to give up. Where are you going to take her?”

“I have no idea,” he blushed. “I was so worried about getting her to say yes that I didn’t plan that far ahead. What the hell is there to do in Aledo?”

“Hmm…” she paused in thought. “Well, not a lot, honestly. There are some casual things to do with someone you are already dating, but nothing for making great first impressions. You’ll probably need to take her into the Quad Cities for dinner—there are some nice restaurants in Moline and Davenport.”

“Thanks. I’ll look into it,” he smiled, leaning down to give her a hug.

Barbara kissed his cheek as she pulled away and sighed loudly. “I’m just so happy for you. Things are going to be different now, I can feel it.” And without another word, she turned and went up to bed.

Once she had left the room, Richard walked up to him and stared him down. “So… you spoke with Lily. Is that
all
that happened?”

Ethan turned beet red before answering, “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, that’s all that happened.”

“Good for you, son,” he smiled, clapping him on the shoulder. “I’m glad you listened to me. I know that you two have unbelievable…
chemistry
together, but she’ll never be able to take you seriously right now if you’re always trying to get in her pants.”

“Dad!”

“What? Just because it’s your old man talking doesn’t make it any less true.”

They shared an awkward goodnight after that, and Ethan went up to his bedroom. He sat up sketching a few different ideas for a new painting for a while before he decided to call it a night. As he climbed into bed, a thought struck him that made him jump back out and grab his phone.

Scrolling through his contact list, his breath caught when he found it—Lily’s number. He finally had the woman of his dreams only the press of a button away. As much as he wanted to call her and hear her voice before bed, he figured she would probably be asleep already. He also knew that hearing her voice at that moment would get his hormones going all over again, so he decided to just send a quick text message. That way she could see it when she woke up in the morning.

Feeling instantly better knowing she had the message, he sat his phone next to him on the nightstand and settled into bed, ready to sleep comfortably for the first night in months. What he hadn’t expected was to hear his phone buzzing with a reply. He picked it up with a shaking hand and opened the message.

Well, apparently he could achieve a raging erection without hearing her voice, too. She had done the job just as well by text. Sighing loudly in the darkness, Ethan rolled over and set the phone back down, sliding open the drawer underneath and pulling out a certain small bottle of lube. As he squirted some in his hand and rolled onto his back to take care of business, he wondered how the hell he was going to make it through an entire evening without attacking her.

The following day was Saturday, which gave Lily time to get herself ready. She spent all day pampering herself, going to her favorite salon in the Cities for a facial and a mani-pedi—and even though sex was supposedly off the table for a while, she threw in a wax for good measure. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too long, and it was always good to be prepared.

She had hoped he might text her back after her little note the night before, but he hadn’t taken the bait. It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate what he was trying to do, but she was hoping they might have a little bit of fun in the meantime. And really, what could be more fun than some naughty sexting with Ethan?

Around 1 p.m. her phone rang and her heart skipped a beat when she heard the new ringtone she had set for him: “Business Time” by Flight of the Conchords. He called to let her know that he would be picking her up around 6:30 that night to take her to a restaurant in Bettendorf. When everything had been finalized she told him that she couldn’t wait to see him again, and he made a funny choking sound and told her he needed to go.

When she got back home that afternoon she started the horrible task of trying to find something to wear. Although she had a closet full of new clothes after her trip to Chicago with the girls, it was still no easy task. There was almost too much to choose from now and her head started to spin. Sighing in defeat, she reached for her phone.

Emma picked up on the second ring. “So? Any big plans tonight?” she asked when she answered, as if they were already mid-conversation.

“How did you know?” Lily asked with a huff. “And don’t think I’m not totally pissed at you for not telling me he was back in town.”

“Hey, don’t take it out on me. I would have called you that night if I could have, and so would Maggie. He swore us all to secrecy because he wanted some time to get his shit together.”

“I’m just saying a little heads up would have been nice. Maybe
I
had some shit to get together.”

“Lily, you’ve had three months to do that. You’re much more ready for this than he is, so you’re actually at an advantage here. You can call all the shots this time.”

“I don’t care about calling all the shots. I just want to feel comfortable with him again. I feel like I’m a high schooler getting ready for the prom, for fuck’s sake!”

“It will come in time, don’t worry.” She sounded so calm that Lily wanted to slap her. “So, what did you call for, anyway? Was it just to yell at me or did you need something?”

“I hate doing this because I know you’re going to squeal… but I need help deciding what to wear.” She held the phone away from her ear, the loud screeching on the other end echoing throughout the room. “Good lord, are you done yet?” she teased when she felt brave enough to lift up the phone again.