Sexing sweet the Irishman so much that he take to cuddling her in the bed like she be white woman. She lie on top of him and let Quinn wrap him arm round her back. But then him skin touch her scars and they both realise what they touching. He flinch and she flinch too. Suddenly they turn back into slave and master and they both know. He look away. Mayhaps if she think of the whipping he give her, she’ll forget the wickedness she do to white people. Maybe wickedness match wickedness and clean her head out. She watch him face wither a little as him hand slide off her back and rest on her arse. Lilith look at him mouth that close and wonder if this is how they goin’ talk and no word would pass between them in the night, and maybe no word ever need to. She lie down on him chest. Him arms slip off her arse. The moon waiting in the west.
Lilith know where to find the cave this time. The cave is the same but the moon colour inside grey. She waiting for the cave to show magic, but it stubborn and stiff.
—Come in, Lilith, Homer say.
Lilith stand outside. Inside be the womens. Fire-hair Pallas, neck-scarf-wearin’ Iphigenia, tall, bony Hippolyta, one-eye Callisto and mad midget Gorgon.
—Is who bring dem fishy cunt in here? Gorgon say, but Lilith look at her and she back way into the dark.
As Lilith step past, inside something shoot by her and she jump. The knife jam into a tree root and bounce.
—Pardon. Think you was something else, say Callisto.
Lilith body still shaking but not her mouth.
—Aim little lower and maybe get the midget next time, Lilith say.
Lilith expect Gorgon to charge like roaring lion. But Gorgon don’t even look at her. Callisto look at her good, though. Lilith don’t like that, so she look round the cave. Smaller than she remember, but the table in the middle still big like it belong in a better house. Homer move over by the entrance and look out. The other womens settle by the table. Only three chair in the room, so Pallas, Iphigenia and Gorgon take them. Pallas have on her headwrap ever since Miss Isobel say her white woman hair make her ill. Iphigenia cover up from head to toe in her red frock with her scarf round her neck. Lilith wonder what kind of funk that woman work up when sweat run. Hippolyta go over by the other window and almost give Lilith a start. Is then she see that Hippolyta wearing black from head to foot, even a black bonnet. Over by the window, Hippolyta eye disappear in the dark. Lilith feel like rubbing her own eye. But Hippolyta didn’t look at her once. If she be the Abarra, then nobody know it, Lilith wonder.
—Every estate swift like a hawk but we, Homer say.
—What she doing here? Pallas ask.
Gorgon hiss.
—Gorgon, give the girl you seat. You don’t see she tired? Callisto say. Gorgon look as stun as Lilith and both lip gape open. The other womens say nothing as Lilith take Gorgon seat and Callisto stoop down beside her.
—Sunrise coming, Homer say.
—Pallas, Homer say and point. Pallas raise her two hand and the room go quiet. Callisto shoulder almost touch Lilith knee. Lilith squeeze her legs together but they touch Callisto anyway. She expect Callisto to turn round with her eye like a knife, but she don’t do nothing.
—Jackson Lands again. They hear that we adding one again, seven instead of six.
—What the bloodclaat? Nigger presuming to give me order ’bout number? Me have six plus one, all that mean is more ready for blood when the time come. Tell them to take speck out of they own eye first.
—Me not you one, Lilith say, almost like a whisper.
—You one already, backra killer, Callisto say, not wicked-like but meek, almost happy. Lilith don’t like it.
Then Pallas start sing. And the womens ululate with they tongue and stomp with they feet. The sound bounce from ground to top, from wall to wall and go out one passage and come through the other. Soon Gorgon and Callisto and Pallas jumping and singing. Lilith know what they singing and don’t know at the same time. She seeing some shadow jumping from the candlelight and some jumping a different way. Everybody singing, it seem, but Hippolyta. The voices die down and they sit down, except for Homer, who go over to the fire burnin’ in the corner and stir the boiling pot two time.
—Time to get in readiness, Homer say.—Time coming to judge the quick and the dead. Lilith, nothing you hear is to leave this place. If you fixing to tell it, the spirit will deal with you before you open you mouth.
Homer take the pot off the fire and put it on the table. Hippolyta put a bowl on the table that Lilith didn’t see before, a black bowl that look like wood with a lid that point up. The lid carve through with pattern that Lilith can’t make out. Homer pour some mixture from the pot into the bowl and Lilith watch the steam rise. The room get full with a bitterness that touch her tongue.
—Tefa, Homer say.
—Tefa, the womens say.
—Call the seventeen Odu, call the Osetura, Homer say.
—Call him, call him, the womens say.
—Osetura make one with the Meji Odu, Homer say.
—Omu Odu, witness creation. Raise the Omu Odu, the one and two hundred.
—This is the Ifa bowl, Homer say, looking at Lilith. From this one and two hundred spirit goin’ rise.
—Rise for what? Lilith say.
Homer look on her serious.
The womens talk for little more and then leave one by one. Gorgon almost scrape off her back the way she press ’gainst the cave so not to touch Lilith. Then Callisto get up and look at Lilith from head to toe. Then up and down again. Lilith want turn away bad. Callisto lookin’ her in the eye, she don’t smile but she don’t frown neither. The sun outside threatening to come up. Pallas leave, looking at Lilith, and Hippolyta leave, with Lilith looking at her. Tall, skinny, black dress and black bonnet. The room quiet with Homer and Lilith alone.
—What you working at? Lilith say. You six up to some mischief. Even when me was . . . when Massa Humphrey . . . anyway, you six doing something.
—Hmm. You niggers who didn’t come over ’pon the slave ship don’t know a damn thing, Homer say.
—That sound like an answer to you? Lilith say.
—Always too much sass with you. Too, too much sass.
—What you playing at, Homer?
—You still have scar on your back, Lilith?
—What you think?
—Well, since you be a thinking woman, you think you not goin’ get whip again? You think them not going beat you till they kill you or somebody else? You think them not goin’ rub salt and lime juice on you back? How long you think you goin’ go till they hang you for some foolishness?
—Homer? I . . . I don’t know.
—Don’t be a fool. You damn well know. No black woman safe as long as white man alive. Plenty years me be here and that is the one thing that don’t change. This goin’ on long before you come this house and still goin’ on even when you gone to Coulibre. Set youself down, girl chile, and let me tell you something.
Lilith take her time to
go back to Robert Quinn quarters but she still pant like she was running hard and long. She go into Quinn room and look at the man lying in the bed. She look at him head and the long black hair that cover most of him face. She study the overseer body, especially the hands that touch her softer now. She watch him shift and the black hair fall away from him face. Lilith think she see a grin for an instant. Whatever it be, she look at him and think about gentleness, about the strong hands that stop Massa Humphrey from killing her that night. Robert Quinn open him eye and smile. He take her hand and pull Lilith on to the bed. Lilith lying on her side with her back to him and he curl up behind her like a spoon and go back to sleep with him warm breathing down her neck and him hand between her thighs. Lilith listening to him breathe heavy. She feel the up and down of him chest on her back and him knees up under hers like she sitting in him lap. He mumble something but she didn’t hear.
Lilith eyes open wide and she hope he fall back asleep soon. Things like these was making Lilith forget that the white man be a monster. That is not what Homer want. Lilith remembering what Homer say right before, and the heaviness lick her so hard she feel she going fall right through the bed.
—You planning something. All me hear is what you want. Me no hear nothing ’bout how you and them niggers goin’ do it. Six tell six tell six, me arse. Tell them what? How-de-do?
—Chile, Irish cum juice block you ears? You hear anything people tell you?
—Homer? You mouth so—
—Me mouth being what a real nigger mouth must be. Don’t watch it. Watch what goin’ on round you. Planning was three years ago. Doin’ is what commencing now.
—We call the spirit of one and two hundred. One and two hundred spirit we calling on to help we in the journey.
—To where?
—Journey that be like the wind and the word, two thing that don’t come back.
—You talking even more foolishness than usual. Me don’t have time for perplexing nigger. Because if you want me in it—
—Every nigger done in it one way or the next. Even you, when you did still fool and a-chase after the massa, you did already in it.
—Me didn’t chase no—
—Enough. Learn this, and take it as God-swearing truth. We goin’ kill them, girl chile, every single white son of a bitch within hundred mile. We goin’ kill them all.
23
LILITH THINK TO TELL ROBERT QUINN ’BOUT MISS ISOBEL’S night riding. She don’t know why. Sometimes she feel to tell him everything. Like some of the things Homer say. But black skin have black secret and you don’t tell if you say you black. Robert Quinn gentle sometimes. One time he ask her how was her day and Lilith didn’t know what to say so she smile and he smile back. Two day after the womens meet in secret, he call her lassie. The day after that, the food so hot it burn him throat and he shout at her. But that night he didn’t fuck her, just pull her down on the bed and sleep with arms round her waist. Lilith didn’t sleep the whole night.
She start to doubt her true womanness. She wonder what kind of nigger she be and why her stomach don’t go sick every time the Irishman drop him drawers and suck her titties. She wonder what kind of nigger she be that turn fool every time Quinn take up lodging inside her. She no better than old niggerwomens who used to swear for Jack Wilkins. Lilith hate him, she know she do, she just didn’t know that hate was goin’ be just like what Homer say love be like. That she would have to guard it, lock it up in a pen like wild animal, for every chance hatred get, it flee. More times she have to just tell herself that she hate the man, she hate the man, she hate the man, goddamn.
He touch her back in him sleep. Lilith curse herself. She is the one who get whip but he is the one she feel sorry for. She must be the most crossed and mixed-up nigger ever. But is a diabolical thing when a white man show kindness. Even if he wicked for seven day and good only one. She try to hold on to the Quinn that make her get whip twice a week. But whenever she think of whip she think of blood, and when she think of blood she see white woman blood and white pickney and black woman who face she can’t remember. Her hand is as bloody as any white man, that she know. But not a single slave would blame her for what she do. And the Rogets was devil in the flesh who gone back to the hell they come from. She already do what the womens planning. That must be why they so pleased ’bout it, they don’t know how the smell of blood can sick you. Blood and burning flesh, so sour and heavy it make her belly heave. She roast a goat head once to make soup and the stink of burning hair make her vomit. Damn them, damn even the babies who was goin’ grow up to kill nigger just like her. Damn Miss Isobel, who whip her in the face. Goddamn the whole of them. Lilith feeling good and righted. She tell herself that she feeling good and righted. But if Quinn touch her hair or moan or whisper lovey, everything broken. She would have to work up the hate all over again. Something fly up in her head and say,
Kill him now. You not a woman until you do.
Morning come, then noon.
One week pass since the womens meet and nobody talk to nobody. Lilith run into Callisto again behind Quinn quarters as she carrying five cutlass. Callisto look like she about to talk but say nothing and vanish into the cane. Miss Isobel continue with the riding too. Lilith wondering what she get herself into. She keeping secret for Miss Isobel, the negro womens in league and herself. She straighten her back and think she can bear it. But then Robert Quinn come home early.
—Supper ready yet, luv? Robert Quinn say as he come through the door. Lilith frighten. It not usual for him to come home before nightfall. Lilith thinking about how she just call him house home like it be her own. She don’t hear him the first time.
—Cat got your tongue, bat got your ears, which is it? he say.
—Massa?
—I said, have I come too early?
—No, massa, I mean yes, massa. I . . . Lilith fidget.
—Well, can you fix something quick? I’ll have to head out again. I fear I shall not be coming home tonight, he say.
—All night? Lilith say and look away.
—That’s what I said, Robert Quinn say. Lilith fold her arms and rub her shoulders.
—Crop time, t’will devour us all, I tell you. Damn if it won’t make a slave of me as well. Well, don’t tarry, lass, fix us something.
Lilith have bread that bake from morning, two small loaf. She was cooking pepper pot soup for herself but know how much he like it. She pour some in a bowl and watch the green callaloo and cabbage go to rest on the bottom and the peppers poking up. She set the soup and the bread at the table with a spoon. Quinn take a big gulp and cough hard.
—God feckin’ damn! he say and cough again. This is from the devil himself, I swear. Good show, Lilith. Good show.
He call her by her first name and break her.
—Sweet Christ, are ye weeping now?