—Who’s there? he say to her.—Your lover? Is it some goddamned nigger? Running away, are ye now? Or perhaps you seek to make a cuckold out of me? I should have left ye for McClusky, that’s what I should’ve done!
Lilith feel him squeezing her neck. This not be the man who call her lovey and was talking to her from
The Faerie Queene
. The galloping getting louder.
—Feckin’ . . . you await a man on horseback? No slave knows how to ride. What in blazes is . . .
Lilith stoop, grabbing him hand still round her neck, and pull him down. He cuss and try to pull her up, but the galloping getting louder so he stoop down. Him hand still on her neck. From the stables the hoofbeat coming. Quinn let go of Lilith and peek out from the wagon. Miss Isobel ride past them, her yellow hair flying and her horse kicking up dust. Robert Quinn look at Lilith, him jaw dropped low like stunned goat. He look at her till she look away and she wish he would say something and wish he don’t, for whatever coming out of him mouth won’t be pleasing. He leave, running to the stable. Lilith can’t move. She still behind the wagon when he ride past.
Lilith stay awake all night till it be morning and the rooster start crow. Lilith thinking about how her head not as heavy as before, but she still carrying things like a chain round her neck. She glad he know. Lilith tell herself that she didn’t owe no white woman nothing anyway. Miss Isobel ride past her window. Not long after that, Robert Quinn come home from the other way, so that he can see the morning shift of slave take over from the night shift. When he come through the door, Lilith yawning.
—Awake all night, luv?
—Yes, Massa Robert.
—Might as well make me some breakfast, then, and it better be a good, hearty one, fer I’m still very cross with ye, Lilith.
—Yes, massa.
Lilith set about getting the pot and pans ready.
—And Lilith?
—Yes, massa?
—About Miss Isobel, have you spoken of this to anyone?
—No, massa.
—Good. Let it remain so. Do you understand?
—Yes, massa.
Robert Quinn sit down by the table and take off him boots. She listen to the boots banging on the floor and him fingers tapping the tabletop. She don’t look. He whistle and she look around to see him nodding him head over and over.
—Goddamn. God feckin’ damn.
24
ROBERT QUINN NOT GIVING UP NO ANSWER. NO WAY IN BLANZES after Lilith try to keep Miss Isobel night affairs away from him. He ask her how long she know ’bout Miss Isobel. She couldn’t remember if it was a fortnight or a month but it before October. A quietness come between them, and Lilith think that the silence would make her happy, but it don’t. Even when she wash him hair and rub him scalp with her fingers, he moan and breathe deep but don’t say nothing. Even when they sexing, he grunt and groan but don’t say nothing. Not even lovey. Sometimes when he come home early and she still cooking, Lilith would look up and see him looking at her. At night time she in bed with him and can feel him looking when her back turn. Looking, mayhaps waiting for her to do something again. But he never strike her and more than anything else, Lilith was looking to be struck.
Lilith don’t know. She thought that this was what she want. It easier to hate him now. It easier to smell him field smell and think it stinking up the sheets and the curtains and the room and the wall and everything. It easier to think like Homer or Gorgon or Pallas. She don’t have a single care ’bout him goddamn Irish flesh and don’t have to think anymore when he lie on top of her, but still she wish he would remember that he say he was goin’ teach her to ride. She wish he would talk like the Faerie Queen or teach her a word she already done know. Lilith never know that the day would come when she would rather hear lovey than her own name, a day where she be the perplexing nigger. She clean him shoes and hand he him clothes and watch him leave. She wish he would even pat her on the head like a dog and know she be the most worthless nigger for thinking such.
Gorgon ride her carriage past the Robert Quinn house and shout to Lilith in the kitchen, telling her that Homer say they’s to meet tonight to go over the next banquet menu.
—They’s no banquet coming, Lilith say.
—Banquet coming, Gorgon say and ride off. She don’t look at Lilith once.
Last week
in October a trunk come for Miss Isobel from Kingston. She run down the stairs herself and grab the chest and cry like is a coffin. —Up to my room at once, she say. It take two strapping negro to carry the chest all the way up the staircase to Massa Humphrey room, that be her room now. Lilith just come in the kitchen, fixing to talk to Homer.
—Lilith, to my room this instant, Miss Isobel shout.
Lilith go to the room to see the chest fling open and all sort of dress tumbling out. Miss Isobel wearing a riding outfit, a dark red dress. She say she finally feel like a woman. Lilith thinking that at least she going stop wear the massa clothes now and she won’t have to come in the morning to wash nothing.
—Oh, Lilith, have you any idea how happy I am! How rootless a woman feels when she has nothing of her own!
Miss Isobel still looking at herself in the mirror.
—Lilith, you’ve been such a dear, you must help me unpack, Miss Isobel say.
A little later, near to the hour, Lilith come back in the kitchen with a bundle under her arm.
—Nigger Christmas come again, what a thing, Homer say.
Lilith don’t have nothing to say to Homer.
—I goin’ to fix Massa Rob—Massa Quinn lunch, she say.
—Yeah, why you don’t go take you bundle and go fix Massa Robert, Massa Quinn lunch.
—What me do you now?
—Me? After you can’t do me anything. Is what you doing to yourself, you need to ask.
Other womens in the kitchen and Lilith don’t want to talk nothing ’bout her business in front of them, ’specially with one or two still lookin’ at her uncanny.
—I gone, Lilith say.
—Little later, me chile, Homer say.
Night come. Is still crop time, so Robert Quinn may or may not come home. Lilith want to see him something bad. Out in the dark, six women goin’ be waiting. Lilith ask if things not risky to be meeting during crop time and Homer say, Risky for who? And go back to her business. Lilith imagine them right under Robert Quinn room window, plotting.
Robert Quinn come home cursing something in Irish tongue. She run to him and jump him, wrapping her arms round him neck and her legs round him waist. Lilith push her hand down him breeches. Quinn carry Lilith to the bedroom. But Quinn tired. He near scold her to leave him alone. Lilith was hoping he be him usual Irish self and sex her most of the night. She try to talk to him, but he wasn’t in no mood for talking. Not to her. He still carrying ill will ’gainst her, not massa-slave ill will, she see that now, but man-woman ill will.
—Tell me ’bout the Ireland, she say, looking at him back and watching the window.
—Go to sleep, he say. He silent for a while, but then he turn round and face her.
—I thought you and I had an understanding. In this house, in this place, I had it that ye understood me.
—Massa.
—You’ve got no cause to see me as yer enemy, Lilith.
—Massa, me don’t know, is what she say. But not what she think.
—But you do know. That’s the whole point, isn’t it, luv? How could you have kept this from me? I think about it all the time, how you kept it hidden, and now I’m no use in the field, no use here, all because the negro who has become my favourite keeps secrets. But I should have known.
—No, massa.
—What else are ye keeping from me?
—Me not hiding nothing, massa.
—I remember ye comings and goings all times of the night. Think I’ve forgotten, have ye?
—Miss Isobel must be doing something wicked, wicked.
—That’ll be my business, the goings of Miss Isobel, thank ye, not yours.
—Yes, massa, Lilith say and get up to leave.
—Where’re ye going?
—Me know you don’t want to see me face, massa. Only way to please you is to leave you be.
—Why in feckin’ blazes would I prefer a cold bed to a warm one?
Lilith go back in the bed but she don’t touch him.
—I’m not different from you, ye know, Quinn say. Lilith don’t know what he talking ’bout and think she didn’t hear him correct.
—In these colonies Irishmen are held in even lesser esteem than negroes.
—What? Foolishness that!
Quinn look at her.—Ye’d do well to think twice before you call your master foolish, even if he is an Irishman.
—Sorry, massa.
—Oh, not me, I couldn’t care less what ye call me. You don’t understand, lassie. At least a slave has some value to the master. An Irishman has none. They hate the lot of us, you know. They say, Aye, what’s an Irishman? A nigger turned inside out. It burns me that ye should keep things from me. It burns me so.
—Me sorry, massa.
—And for God’s sakes, stop calling me massa. I’m no massa to them, just a potato eater. Every soul thinks less of the Irishman, even that Creole bitch, who you’d reckon has no cause for malice against anyone.
—Miss Isobel?
—That would be her. Would ye like to know where following her led to? I’ll bet in blazes that ye do.
Lilith keep talking until him answer get shorter and shorter and a good time pass before she see that he asleep. She remember what Quinn say ’bout Irishman lot being the same as nigger and hiss it off. He never did mention nothing ’bout where Miss Isobel riding to.
Ever since Quinn teach her how to read the timepiece, she find a new way to tell how late the time be. Quarter past two. Close to the hour, the womens will be gathering. Lilith curl up behind Robert Quinn, fitting herself around him shape and letting him body hair warm her. When she wake up again, the clock just strike six in the morning. Lilith don’t know what to look forward to in the day. But Robert Quinn sleeping in the bed, and man can look like baby when he fall asleep, or a puppy, or just something that no evil could come from, and he roll and turn and grunt and there be something ’bout the morning, and him, and the smell of clean hands with no blood on them that just seem right.
Quinn leave early, saying that he still concerned about the crop time yield. Lilith in the house waiting. Quinn did leave the watch with her and on occasion she look at the hands move and listen for the click. A click come but not from the watch. Then she smell mint and lemongrass.
Homer.
She behind Lilith in the kitchen, not saying anything. Lilith wonder where behind her Homer be, if she over by the passage that lead to Quinn bedroom or if she right behind her, breathing near the back of her neck. A quick wind dash past her right ear and she jump. The knife jam right into the cupboard and bounce. Lilith gasp. She turn around to see Callisto holding another knife by the blade, ready to throw. Lilith straighten herself even though she so frighten she almost piss.
—And where you bulldog be? Lilith say.
Callisto smile.—Dagger go deeper than dog bite, she say.
—The two of you have eye, so you see that me busy cookin’.
—For who? The man o’ yard gone go whip nigger already, Callisto say.—Maybe you forget that that is what him do, eh? Maybe you think that the whip on him belt there to hold him breeches up. Maybe—
—Callisto.
—Don’t Callisto me, Homer. Me did think . . . me was hopin’.
—What me name, Jesus?
—Me did hope Coulibre did done change you. Make you a real woman finally.
—Callisto, Homer say.
—No more with no damn code, woman! She come back here all quiet-like, like we don’t done know her business. Like we couldn’t smell it ’pon you.
—Me don’t know what you talkin’ ’bout. Massa Robert don’t—
—Fuckin’ hell, you know what Massa Robert do? You deh with him all day? You see him last week when him whip poor Mother Hera who too old fi work?
—Lying bitch—
—Wash them scar off you back yet? Callisto say.—Every day he put a new one on another nigger back. The day me see you come back, me say finally this nigger know what is what. All of a sudden you did have what Gorgon can’t get even though she try and try. Then one pigskin fuck you and—
—Homer, tell her to get out of me—
—Is true she talking, Homer say.
—Lie that.
—Girl chile, don’t turn into no fool. You do that before.
—Pallas say, every time backra smile with you, you pleased like puss, Callisto say.
—Me want the two of you to get out. Now.
—Or what? Cho! Right now I feel to cut up you up in here so—
Callisto dash after Lilith like a mad animal. But Lilith stand up to her. Callisto right after all, once you kill five people or more, not even the devil frighten you. Callisto swing but Lilith catch her hand and twist it round Callisto back. Callisto hiss, then laugh.
—If me did know that is so she was, me’d befriend her long ago, Callisto say.
—Enough! Homer say. Lilith let go, Callisto still smiling.
Lilith run for the wall on the other side of the kitchen. Homer go over to Lilith and touch her forehead. Lilith spit in her face.
—Dead dog cunt, Lilith say.
Callisto laugh again. Homer raise her hand to halt Callisto just as she grip the knife to hurl straight into Lilith back. Homer wipe off the spit. Then she slap Lilith on the left of her face. Then the right. Homer grab Lilith by the shoulder and push her hard.
—You! You is the devil own woman! Lilith say. You is the devil! Wait till Massa Quinn come home. You just...when he see this, he goin’ know . . . and—
—Look ’pon me and look ’pon me good, fool nigger. Me look like me ’fraid of Robert Quinn? You worrying ’bout him seeing bruise, how ’bout me make it that he see corpse? You forgetting who be the head nigger in this bloodcloth place. That be me. Me! Now you listen to me, chile. If you want to fool yourself again so that man beat you down, that be your business, but next time me call you to a meeting, you drag you dry backside there or is me you goin’ deal with.