Authors: Nicola May
– Chapter Sixty-Eight –
‘Rubes, is that you?’ Laura Matthews called out from the kitchen as she heard the front door open.
‘Yeah, hi, Mum. How’s it going?’
‘All the better for seeing my favourite daughter.’ The woman wiped her hands on a tea-towel and kissed Ruby on the cheek.
‘It’s great to see you, darling.’
‘Well, the offer of a Sunday lunch with you and the bro couldn’t be resisted. Where’s Graham anyway?’
‘He’s training today.’
Ruby thought back to all those years ago when Graham, who trained guide dogs, had met their mother and fallen in love with her. Sam had, in fact, brought them together in essence. He always knew what was right, that boy.
She heard Ben let off a little bark of approval as he recognised the smell of the Matthews’ house, or more likely the scent of roast beef in the air.
Sam appeared in the kitchen and smiled at them both broadly. ‘Don’t tell me, Rubes, it’s that Prada I love on you. D’Iris, it’s called, isn’t it?’
‘How do you know Mum is not wearing it?’
‘Because I’ve told you before that although I know the fragrances, when they are mixed with a woman’s own smell, they are distinctively different.’
‘You’re such a show off.’ Ruby pushed the back of her hand against his cheek. It had always been the way she greeted him, somehow seeming more meaningful than a kiss on the cheek.
‘I hate to admit it, sis, but I’ve missed you. Ages since I saw you.’
‘Gosh, you are getting all grown up, aren’t you, the pair of you,’ Laura mocked. ‘Being nice to each other and everything.’
They sat down at the familiar round dining table and tucked into the scrumptious roast in front of them, Ruby secretly feeding Ben bits of beef under the table and getting scolded by Sam. She sometimes wondered if he really was blind!
‘So, did you get it together with Mr Smooth?’ Ruby knew it would only be a matter of time before she got a grilling from her sibling.
‘Er, no. I don’t want to talk about him.’
‘What’s the matter, Rubes? You can tell us, we’re family.’
‘There’s nothing to tell.’ She took a sip of wine and let out a deep breath. She felt like she was going to cry. Sam gently rested his hand on her thigh.
‘It’s all right, sis.’
‘No, it’s not really, Sam.’
She burst into tears, and Laura Matthews ran around to her and hugged her from behind, saying, ‘Oh darling, don’t cry.’
‘I promised Rita I wouldn’t tell anyone.’
‘Ruby, telling this family is like a confession to the Pope - you know that. We stick together. Just these walls, Sam and Ben will be the only people to know.’
‘Well, and Margaret.’
‘But she’s in effect family so that’s all right. Now what is it, love?’
Ruby held her mum’s hand loosely as she sat back down next to her.
‘George had a twin brother.’
‘Fucking hell!’
‘Language, Sam!’ Laura shouted.
‘Yes, I know - unbelievable and so sad. Anyway, to cut a long story short, Rita and Alfie didn’t think they’d cope with twins so had Harry, that’s the brother’s name, adopted. He tracked me down after George died in the hope he could get some money out of me.’
‘Shit, that’s terrible.’ Laura took a large gulp of water.
‘It gets worse,’ Ruby carried on. ‘I fell for him and slept with him.’
‘Ruby!’
‘It’s OK, Mum. He’s gone forever now. He didn’t realise he’d have feelings for me too and he’s married. Luckily he’s got a job overseas, will be long gone now.’
‘And what does poor Rita think about that?’ Sam butted in.
‘She never met him, said she didn’t want to, was too ashamed. I told her what a lovely man he was and how successful. It seemed to give her a sense of peace which I’m so pleased about or she never ever would have forgiven herself.’
‘That poor woman,’ Laura had tears in her eyes. ‘Losing two of her boys – well, three actually with Alfie going too. Inconceivable.’
‘She’s a tough old bird.’ Ruby felt better for getting it off her chest. ‘So, that’s it really. He looked so like George. It made my heart literally hurt.’
‘But he so obviously wasn’t George.’ Sam squeezed her arm. ‘I met him, I knew he wasn’t a good person. I’m glad he’s gone. I think by the sound of him it’s Michael who is so right for you.’
‘And here lies another story. I did listen to you, bro. He treated me so beautifully, understood about my loss to a degree. So I went to him, again as you said I should. And, then I saw him with his ex and their dog outside the flat, kissing.’
‘Oh no! You have been through it, love.’ Laura topped up her daughter’s wine glass.
‘Maybe you need a bit of time out - can you afford to take time off from work? You haven’t been to
Daffodils
for a while. That might do you good. Clear your head of these awful men.’
Her brother never let up. ‘Have you spoken to Michael about what you saw?’
‘Of course I haven’t, Sam. I know what I saw and he also accused me of George being alive because he saw me with Harry. I mean, how much of an insult is that?’
‘Gosh.’ Laura went to the kitchen to check on the dessert. Ruby thought if she was to now tell her about Nick, she would be more than ‘gosh’-ing.
‘I think you should talk to him, tell him how you feel.’
‘Sam, shut up now, please. Too much has happened; if we were meant to be together, it would have happened by now. I always think if it feels right with no difficulties then it is right. There have just been too many obstacles.’
‘The course of true love never did run smooth, Ruby, and don’t tell me to shut up, because you know I’m right and the only obstacle I can see is you!’
‘Children, children.’ Laura brought in a steaming apple crumble. ‘Come on, I don’t see you both much. Honestly, think about some time out, Ruby, love. You’ve been through the mill and back by the sound of it.’
‘Yeah, sorry, sis. It’s great to see you getting on with it again, whatever the outcome. I only shout because I love you.’
‘And me you, you little shit.’ She gently pressed the back of her hand into her brother’s cheek and tucked into her pudding.
– Chapter Sixty-Nine –
Barney let out a grunt at the side of the bed, stirring Michael from his restless slumber. A one-bed flat was obviously not ideal for a pet but it was good to have the comforting company of an animal. And the exercise of walking a dog could only be a positive.
Michael rubbed his eyes and yawned. He glanced at his alarm clock: 8 a.m.
‘All right, old boy. I guess we’d best get you outside.’
He rolled out of bed and pulled on his tracksuit bottoms. He was relieved it was Saturday. He had submitted all his freelance copy to
Rural Writers’
, so he could go for a run along the river without worry and then come back to write some more of his novel.
He had found it hard to get back into it after his row with Ruby. Seeing Emily had completely thrown him.
Love was such a funny business. You would be so into a person, would know them mind, body and soul. Then: where and how does it all go wrong? How do the roses and sunbeams turn into dandelions and storms? The quirky little twitch of her nose, once so sweet, becomes an annoying habit; the pet name she calls you becomes repulsive, and sex is a chore rather than a treat.
Barney barked his approval as his new, much more attentive owner grabbed his lead from the kitchen. They took the lift down to the ground floor and Michael was relieved to find a sunny June day in front of him.
He was really into his running now. It allowed him to think deeply, without interruption. He had come to some of his best plot ideas this way, plus it completely relaxed him.
In a way, seeing Emily had been a very good thing. Yes, she was sexy, there had never been a doubt about that. But, although the shell was perfect, inside she was a bad egg. A selfish, petulant woman. It had taken him to his thirties to realise that kindness counted for so much in a relationship. The little things mattered. The odd cup of tea in bed, finding your socks on the radiator on a cold morning. Opening the fridge to your favourite tipple after a hard week at work. Emily would never have thought of any of those things.
He reached Putney and started to follow the river along. Every time he got here he hoped that he might find Ruby power-walking around her favourite park, but to date he had never seen her. It was eight-thirty now: would she be up, he wondered. Should he just go and knock on her door and put things right over a cup of tea? No, it would take more than that. He had lost her for sure. She had been so angry when he had accused whoever that other man was of being George. And she had every right to be angry. But, then again he had seen her kissing him. And, if she had really wanted him, then she wouldn’t have seen anyone else surely…
Just then, a pretty red-head jogged past him and smiled.
How he missed Ruby. Her quirkiness, her sense of fun. The way she could talk with those bright green eyes of hers. Those amazing nipples! He had seen love in those eyes, he was sure. He had also seen the incredible sadness that death of a loved one brings. Yes, she was independent, but also vulnerable. Like everyone was in a way.
He stopped as Barney decided to do a pooh in the most open part of the path and then cursed that he had forgotten his pooh bags. He couldn’t leave it. He saw a woman walking towards him with a black dog.
‘This is very embarrassing, but could I trouble you for a pooh bag?’
‘I’ve been asked for a few things in my time.’ She laughed, then stared at Michael’s face. ‘Don’t I know you from somewhere?’
‘Um, I don’t think so.’ Michael clocked her voluptuous chest and smiley eyes and then cringed as he recalled that she had been at The Bow Wow Club on that awful day when he had rowed openly with Ruby.
‘Ah, I remember. You’re Michael - Ruby’s Michael.’
He reddened.
‘I miss young Ruby. I must look her up soon. Have you made it up with her yet?’
‘Um. I… er…’
‘She used to talk so highly of you. We all make mistakes, you know.’ She put her hand on his arm. ‘It’s hard to date someone who’s been through a bereavement. But me and Jimmy? Well, all I can say is, he was just waiting for the love of a good woman.’ She laughed. ‘You have to try and gently fill the holes in their hearts that were blown open by grief.’
Cali handed Michael a green plastic bag. ‘Shit happens. Clean things up with her if you haven’t already. I truly believe you have something there.’ Fanny the wonder dog barked loudly. ‘Right, I’d better get her ladyship home.’
‘Thanks,’ Michael said warmly. ‘For everything.’
When he had dealt with Barney’s offering, he started to run, the dog beside him with his tail wagging madly. Maybe there was a chance. He thought back to his novel: now how should he finish it? He knew what the perfect happy ending should be - it was just a case of getting there.
– Chapter Seventy –
‘Ruby!’ Simon opened his long arms and embraced her warmly. ‘I’ve missed you, we’ve missed you.’
‘It’s only been two bloody weeks. I know it’s not very charitable, but I just couldn’t face it.’
‘Wanna talk about it?’ Simon asked casually.
‘Michael again.’
‘Oh.’
‘Yes, oh. And, no, I don’t really want to talk about it, to be honest. It’s not meant to be and that’s it. He’s obviously jumped back into bed with the ex. Saw them together
and
dog.’
‘Dear, dear. That’s not good. Have you spoken to him since?’
‘God, no. Oops sorry. Gosh, no.’ Simon laughed. ‘It’s fine honestly, Simon. I’m going to help out here, concentrate on my work and just have a bit of fun for now. Maybe it is too soon still after George. He is a hard act to follow.’
‘All I can say is, follow your heart Rubes.’
‘You’re a fine one to say that.’
‘Hmm, I know. However, between you, me and Him upstairs,’ he pointed to the
Seek & Ye Shall Find
picture at the back of the room, ‘I’ve met someone.’
‘That’s brilliant, Si, what’s his name?’
‘Derek - he’s a carpenter.’
‘Good with his hands then?’ Ruby smirked.
‘Darling, he’s good with everything.’
‘I’m really pleased for you. You deserve happiness, you are such a good man.’
‘Really? Saying that, how’s Fi getting on?’
‘She’s good actually. You’ve made a big baby, is all I can say. You can imagine already what she’s saying about the birth.’
‘Ha, yeah. The poor midwives should be warned. The delivery-room air will be blue, that’s for sure. But honestly, is she OK with everything?’
‘Please don’t worry. James is oblivious, just completely excited about the whole thing. The decision made was the right one. They do love each other. You have done a wonderful thing for both of them.’
‘I do hope so. I will always here for her, make sure she knows that.’
‘She knows. She loves you.’
‘Do you think they will get married?’
‘I think so, but Fi will want to wait until after the baby comes, of course. It’ll be a massive knees-up in Ireland, I expect.’
‘I can’t tell you what a relief that is, Rubes. I don’t think I could have stood up and married them. Imagine it - I would be struck down then.’ And as the church-hall door was pushed open, he went on: ‘Here comes the happy crew.’
‘Jimmy, what are you doing here?’ Ruby questioned. ‘I thought it was your last session the other day?’
‘I’ve come to say goodbye properly. It was all a bit chaotic last time.’
‘Yes, with me shouting my mouth off, it was indeed. You look great, by the way.’
Jimmy’s hair had been cut shorter to his head and he had lost more weight. He was wearing trendy jeans and a polo-shirt. Contact lenses enhanced his brown eyes and he was clean shaven. He looked years younger.
‘It’s all that bloody sex. Cali the insatiable, I call her. She’s not coming today, by the way; she sends her love though.’
‘Lucky you,’ Simon chipped in. ‘Ruby’s right, you look great, pal. And do you know what the best thing is?’
‘No more fuck, shit, bollocks? I know. I still do it when stressed. But Cali has literally shagged it out of me. I’m so happy.’
‘Well good to hear. You are indeed a case study we can use for future Bow Wowers.’
‘Anyway, here, before the others arrive and get jealous.’ Jimmy handed Ruby a large Clarins bag.
‘Jimmy! You so shouldn’t have.’
‘I so should. It’s from both of us. You’re an angel in disguise, Ruby Stevens. What you did for me… well, it has changed my life.’
‘Anyone could have done it.’
‘But they didn’t - you did.’
Ruby felt tears pricking her eyes. It felt good to have helped somebody.
‘And here, for you, Reverend.’ Jimmy handed Simon a carrier bag. The tall vicar pulled out a bottle of vodka, a pot of Vaseline and a framed photo of Fanny the wonder dog.
Jimmy winked at him. ‘We weren’t sure what to get you, but thought you’d appreciate at least one of these.’
Simon hurriedly put it all back in the bag and smirked. ‘Wanker.’
‘From a man of the cloth too,’ Jimmy laughed.
Ruby went to the back kitchen and filled Simon’s vodka mug. She helped herself to one too. She flicked the kettle on, and as she bent down to open the biscuit cupboard, she felt a hand cup her right bum cheek gently.
‘Hey, how you doing, sexy lady?’
She turned around. ‘I’m good, thanks.’ The Fireman had replaced his usual T-shirt with a smart blue collared shirt. He looked extra hot and she felt a tingle in her nethers.
‘How are your knees?’ he asked her.
‘I look like I’ve fallen over in the playground.’
‘Ooh, I can just imagine you in a gym skirt and bunches.’
‘Nick Redwood!’
‘Come on, you lovely lot - let’s sit down, shall we?’ Simon summoned his disciples. ‘Right, firstly, for those of you who don’t know Jimmy, stand up please, Jim.’ Jimmy stood up and did a little bow. ‘This young man here is a volunteer who will be able to answer any of your questions and run some of the sessions when I can’t make them.’
Ruby thought it felt weird with Cali and Ellie not here any more, but it was great they had moved on.
Simon was on a roll. ‘Jim is one of our positive stories. He came in here very disturbed at the loss of his wife. He was a shadow of the man he is today.’
Jimmy remained standing. ‘Yes, I was a bloody mess. I suffer from Tourettes, I didn’t care about my appearance. I smelled. How vile is that? But a lot of you may relate to that. You do lose the will sometimes. It’s hard. You think you will never be able to carry on a normal life without that person who meant so much to you. The whole “time is a healer” analogy is so well used - but that’s because it’s true.’
He coughed and carried on. ‘And for those of you here who are dating widows and widowers, we so need you. You don’t think we do probably half the time. But please do bear with the person you are with, as I am proof there is light at the end of those long dark tunnels we all have to face.
‘Whilst I’m standing up, I want everyone to give Ruby, at the back of the room there, a big round of applause as she turned me from a tramplike useless piece of shit to the man I am in front of you today.’
Everybody clapped. Ruby reddened. The applause subsided, but Jimmy didn’t.
‘I feel great, I’ve got a job I enjoy - and not only that, I met somebody here, yes weirdly, and I love her very much. Maybe Simon you should set up a Bow Wow Dating Club?’
‘Maybe later,’ Simon responded, secretly thinking he couldn’t imagine anything more horrendous. ‘And, thanks Jimmy, for sharing.’
‘Whilst we’re being so caring and sharing, can I say something too?’ Nick was usually so shy in a group.
‘Fire away! Hah! Get it? Fire away.’ Nobody laughed at Simon’s weak attempt at a joke.
‘I just want to say that Ruby deserves more than a round of applause.’
‘Oo er missus.’ Jimmy put his hand to his crotch.
‘Jimmy, please don’t lower the tone.’ Simon shook his head, whilst shielding a smile.
Ruby raised her eyes to the ceiling. It was very flattering but also very embarrassing to have such a fan club.
‘She’s been here for all of us, in fact. I can’t tell you how she first helped me, but what she said just did it for me. I’m definitely moving forward with my life now.’
Ruby felt she might cry. Nick behind his bravado was so such a soft, caring man. She took in how smart he looked tonight.
The Fireman carried on: ‘Today I’ve decided is my last Bow Wow too. You are all great and Simon, man, you are an inspiration. I will miss you all, but it’s another step forward to feeling better.’
‘This door is always open, Nick. Even if you just want to pop in for a chat.’ Simon was sincere. ‘I’m really chuffed for you, mate. Well done.’
***
Ruby called after Nick as he headed down the church path. They had been the last to say their goodbyes to Simon. She always carried a torch as it was so dark around the churchyard. Now, when Nick turned round, she held her torch under her chin to make her look zombie-like. He put on a faux terrified face.
‘What’s up, Rubes?’ he asked. ‘I thought we’d just said goodbye.’
‘You know you said you would miss us all?’
‘Yep.’
‘Well, I just wanted to say, I really will miss you, Nick.’
‘Ruby, I work just down the road from your house. I live less than a mile from you. We are going to stay mates. Aren’t we?’
‘I… er…’
‘Let me capture this moment on film.’ Nick laughed. ‘A tongue-tied Ruby Stevens. How very rare.’
She pushed him with affection in the ribs. ‘Look, I’m going to my holiday home in the Lake District tomorrow morning. Just need a bit of time out from the real world. I know you mentioned you’ve got a week off and I just wondered if you wanted to maybe come up too?’ She paused. ‘As friends, of course.’
‘Of course.’ Nick pushed his tongue into the side of his cheek.
‘Nick! You don’t have to, it’s fine. My mate Fi, who you met at the pub a while back and her boyfriend James are already up there, so I would fully understand if you didn’t.’
He took her hand, lifted it to his face and kissed it. ‘Sorry, Ruby, I’m just joking with you. I’d bloody love to come. I could do with a change of scenery too, so it’s perfect timing.’
‘Really?’
‘Really. I was just going to do some DIY in the flat, that can wait. So what’s the plan?’
‘I was going to get the train up sometime tomorrow morning.’
‘Sod the train, Rubes, I’ll drive. I’ve got an old campervan, another hobby in itself. It’ll be fun.’
‘If you’re sure, that would be amazing. It’s so just so beautiful up there, we can be proper tourists. I’ll show you all the good bits and what fun in a camper.’
‘Well, that’s a date. I’ll pick you up at midday tomorrow from yours.’
Ruby kissed him on the cheek. ‘Perfect. How exciting. I do love an adventure and you will just adore
Daffodils
, I know it.’
Nick walked back to his flat with a big smile on his face. He looked to the sky and spoke under his breath. ‘Milly. My darling Milly. I hope you’re not cross, but she has got such a good heart, that I just know it will help heal mine.’
***
Ruby awoke with a feeling she hadn’t had for a while. The feeling of excitement.
She was up to date with her dressmaking and could spend a few guilt-free days with the lovely Nick at
Daffodils
; one of her very favourite places. The garden needed a good sort-out and a burly fireman would be able to help her.
At noon on the dot, Nick drew up outside the flat, smiling and waving as he got out of his old beige-coloured camper can and slid open the side door quickly to avoid the heavy rain that had just started falling.
Ruby laughed to herself as she loved campervans and knew it would be great fun. She also noted how handsome her travelling companion was. Then she took a deep breath as she thought of the last time she had packed for a trip.
Dittisham had been so special and Michael had made such an effort. The Devonshire village had become a close second-favourite place to her beloved Lakes, and she suddenly felt sad that she hadn’t been able to work it out with the lovely author. But he so obviously had made his choice with Emily or he would have come back to her by now. She must have been right that he didn’t love her, that it had all been too soon for him and he hadn’t got over his ex like he thought he had.
Maybe she was being rash inviting Nick to
Daffodils
, but there was no need to rush things. The Fireman was at least a very good friend, and if things developed so be it. She would just keep a clear head and see what happened. It would be nice to have him around, especially as Fi and James had rekindled their love and were constantly fawning over each other at the moment.
‘Ready, girl?’ Nick looked over to Ruby in the passenger seat and grinned.
‘Ah, I need to do one thing first.’ She reached into her handbag for her phone. ‘Turn this bloody thing off. I’ve changed the answerphone, so clients know when I’m back. Mum and Sam know where I am, and Fi and James are expecting us early evening, so all is good. Peace at last.’
‘What a fantastic plan. I will do the same. And Ruby?’
‘Aha?’ Ruby had half an eye on her phone.
‘Thanks for inviting me. I know
Daffodils
is a special place, or should I say was a special place for you… and George.’
‘Well, it’s good it’s being filled with special people again then, isn’t it?’
Nick stuck his bottom lip out and felt warm inside. They pulled away and Ruby caught sight of Margaret waving wildly under a torn red umbrella.