The Brooke-Rose Omnibus (48 page)

Vicariatus Urbis Tribunal—Romana (seu West
Monasterien
). Nullitatis Matrimonii. The copy of the petition printed on thick paper lies on the blue table-cloth where darker blue towers cathedrals domes and palaces form rows with WIEN repeated at intervals under each row and a plump prancing knight CAROLUS der VII in the alternate row beneath the crumbs of toast the buttery marmalady plate the empty yellow cup the yellow Melita coffee-pot. The hands lie quite still over the blue table-cloth, forming a squat diamond-space with the thumbs pressing towards the body the other fingers touching like a cathedral roof. Under the table the ankles cross over each other to close the circuit. Ci troviamo di fronte ad un autentico dramma dell’
agnosticismo
con tutti gli ingredienti storici filosofici e sociali di siffatto lieber Gott get the dictionary elemento determinante la involuzione in atto nella nostra civiltà.

The petition flowered by the Avvocato to the Sacra Rota lies on the blue table cloth with darker blue towers cathedrals domes and palaces and Carolus VII plump and prancing on a horse a little bit beyond the smattering acquired with
scallopine
di vitello campari soda dove la toeletta in fondo a sinistra between the enormous wings and the bells endlessly permutating on do si la sol fa mi ré do do la fa ré und so weiter weiter gehen over the greenish drizzle distantly beyond the little door.

1. I luoghi. Slowly now. The places: La Francia, la Germania, e soprattutto la Britannia, la dolce Inghilterra dai prati prati? smeraldini emerald or greenish drizzle cosparsi sparse, no scattered di case e di castelli con lamponi
lampoons?
e rododendri nei ben pettinati giardini pettinated gardens con i caminetti al cui fuoco fire? in the lanes? che dolci conversazioni serali what sweet evening conversations? proprio come nelle scene appropriate scene a noi familiari della narrativa da Dickens a Somerset Maugham: Lirrechur, eh? Tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty luogo dove esplose il divorzio tra uomo e Dio, tra libertà e
Redenzione,
e dove pertanto gli effetti ne maturavano the effects do not mature, prima che da noi, nel crepuscolo delle anime in the twilight of the soul.

Well on one level one hardly listens. On another one has to understand immediately because the thing understood slips away together with the need to understand. Well on one level one would not understand at all, the standards of simultaneous interpretation crashed in the mere smattering acquired with San Pellegrino acqua litinica alcalina
battericamente
pura which no doubt should lavare ancora più bianco.

2. Il tempo: tra hello ducks.

— Oh hello Mrs. Jones. Framed in wistaria and the kitchen window above the sink and OMO cleaner than clean brighter than white you look pale.

— Yes I do look pale. I mean without me face. You know what I mean like. I have to put on a bit of rouge. I always did look pale even as a little girl and I still do. Until I put on me face.

3. Le persone finalmente folded away with the authentic drama of agnosticism and the breakfast remains ingredients historical philosophical and social performed in ancient times a little higher up beyond the Temple of Apollo to celebrate his victory over Python the legendary monster which hasn’t put on its face framed in wistaria and accepts an offered cup of warmed-up coffee that’ll bring colour to my cheeks did you say something love?

— Ouvre les jambes, Véronique, ouvre les jambes.

Below the kitchen window of the small flat in the rue St. André a gangling girl in pigtails deftly skips over two parallel lines of white elastic that form a long rectangle held apart at one end by the two ankles of another girl with a dark fringe who stands on the edge of the pavement, and at the other end by the two short legs of a blond child sitting on the steps. The gangling girl with pigtails has her back to the house and deftly skips over the two parallel lines not quite parallel enough, her right foot carrying the right line three times across the left and back, then both across each other in a diamond shape with a complete turn of the body to face the house, turning again to reform the parallel straight lines, her left foot carrying the right line twice and Faute! Tu prends ma place.

— Non, j’prends celle de Véronique. T’as eu ton tour avant moi.

— Alors vas-y Véronique.

— J’veux pas.

— Là, tu vois!

— Ta gueule. Véronique, saute.

— J’veux pas. J’veux m’asseoir.

— Mais tu vas embrouiller les points grosse bête.

— J’ m’ en fous. J’veux m’asseoir.

— Oh bon alors. Mais assieds-toi bien, ouvre les jambes pour qu’les lignes fassent parallèles.

— Par à quelle aile? j’vois pas d’aile moi.

— Imbécile. Alors Janine tu y vas?

— Vieille poire!

— Crapaude!

— Crétine!

Paris as Headquarters of simultaneous interpreters and
international
organisations for the advancement of peace common markets intercontinental missiles agricultural aid economical social cultural irrigation for refugees or the provision of two paper-making engineers for Korea one sericulturist one reeling expert one spinning expert for Burma one rolling mill technician one fertilizer one chemist works manager one acidulator in superphosphate manufacture and other such air-conditioning has husbands lovers wives mistresses of many nationalities who help to abolish the frontiers of
misunderstanding
with frequent changes of partners loyalties
convictions,
free and easily stepping over the old boundaries of conventions, congresses, commissions, conferences to which welcome back Liebes.

— So you wish to return to work madame?

To the freedom of the air and the precision of the
mouthpiece
at nineteen or twenty-eight. But how long, madame, have you stayed away, worked in other fields, lost touch got out of practice forgotten how to understand immediately because the thing understood slips away together with the need to understand. Well, on one level one hardly listens. Gee. Things have changed madame, says Prince Boris de Czarevitch or Somesuchovitch Directorovitch of all
interpreters
for Europe during all those years our techniques have improved, let me see how long, oh lord, how long? We could arrange a test for you, to see if you have lost or as yet
ungained
your confidence your speed your voice your heart your faith your memory your mind until it comes to a
standstill
and if it proves satisfactory we could arrange a period of retraining. Your husband has left us of course and I gather yes I know Siegfried told me. Siegfried? Ah yes, he
recommended
you. But he has gone to New York and you will find madame if you rejoin us that things have changed. We have many more interpreters now so that they remain more based on Headquarters where most of the conferences take place these days apart from fringe activities like the Leonardo Centenary for example and more cultural interchange with Eastern Europe or demographic irrigation for the
underdeveloped
areas and other such conditions of pressurised emptiness. We would base you in Rome or here which you should simultaneously translate as less gallivanting my girl real hard work at last at last an idea that actually means something and most of your old friends have left you know madame for higher things such as the masculine unmarked and situated on five terraces of ambition change love desire marriage. And have you considered madame what the life entails between the enormous wings losing height slowly bumping down the steps of air in this bedroom or that always away from home for example have you any children?

Away from the road a path leads into the deep cleft between the two masses of the Phaidriades where lies the famous Kastalia spring. And so you, born and bred a
Catholic,
entered into a marriage with a joint decision to frustrate its natural end? What methods did you use, signora?

Surrounded by the saddle of Koznitsa to the west, the Balkan Range to the north, and the undulating heights of the Sredna Gora Mountains to the south, the Valley of the Roses, unique in Europe and visited by thousands of tourists each year, drops gradually down to the east until it reaches the transverse ridge which locks both ranges. The gardens of this sunny valley, second home of the oil-bearing rose brought here from Persia in the seventeenth century, have since that day gradually crept westwards from Kazanluk and now climb up the eastern slopes of Koznitsa. The sun pours its light down on the blessed earth, and in its pleasant warmth the roses blossom, the rectangles of agriculture brush-stroke size, the forest blobs the scattering of smudges and the thin white lines that cross and curve make up an abstract study of the blessed earth in brown and green way down below the window-seat through the oblong pane of double glass with slightly rounded corners. Known in the Near East for its fine copper and iron articles, the town has a fine museum, and a monument of ancient art, the Thracian Tomb, now famous all over the world for its exquisite frescoes. Somewhere north of the town another monument rises, outlined against the sky on a mountain summit—a monument to the brave Russian soldiers.

The concrete path along the concrete landing-ground across which the passengers have walked leads into the
concrete
building where concrete men search every suitcase not for liquor jewels drugs but ideas, in dangerous print und das? Les Insignes de l’Université de Cracovie a gift as yet unread und das? A list of Italian irregular verbs do you mind? Ah. Und das? The Valley of the Roses. And a Bulgarian
phrase-book
gut. Gut-gut. Und WECHSEL bitte? Links.
Dankeschön
into the white-lined bus towards the mountains against which the city rears its sky-scraper hotels office buildings palaces of culture.

Where to stop. The village of Rosino. Its very name symbolises roses in full bloom, pretty girls picking the blossoms, and the scent of attar of roses.

They praise, yes mademoiselle, also.

They praise presumably the portraits on the concrete buildings in rows bearded with hair or bearded bald or totally unfamiliar concrete faces all turning to their right westwards perhaps unless east, depending on the viewpoint or the side of the street, depending on the theme the place the climate of opinion and whether the surrounding mountains create great holes of air into which the mind sinks utterly baffled by the words in white on red across the concrete building 30 mup u gpyжбa.

Away from the road a path leads into the deep cleft between the florid Monsignor and the recording priest on his left who writes all the proceedings down in longhand most unsimultaneously beneath the dark brown painting of some saint or other while the pale fat priest-interpreter to the right of the Monsignor further lengthens the proceedings by translating every utterance from Italian in fact half-
understood
into French and from French back into Italian thus creating a time to think of some answer truthful according to the requirements of a faith half-held in that climate language sub specie aeternitatis the Vicariato di Roma. We do not have a German interpreter to hand signora scusi, il
Monsignor
has got engaged in another court. But you say you speak French. Va bene così? Va bene. Well, one way or the other. But what difference does it make? Une différence
non-marquée
dérivant du marqué par une absence qui signifie eine Abwesenheit die etwas bedeutet, etwas anderes als bestellt. Do you agree? Did you want to test by means of engagement? Was suchen Sie, die Toilette? Nein den Aufzug. Ascenseur. Ach so, immer geradeaus dann links past the TOAΛETHA to the ACAHCbOP or else a change in the expected person 
for parter presumably towards the
banquet-hall
БAHKETHA ƷAΛA where the president and his
sub-presidents
from this zone and that toast each other in progress mutual understanding hands across the frontiers on full stomachs underneath words in white on red 30 mup u gpyжбa.

They praise, yes mademoiselle, also.

Soon some sluttish chambermaid will enter with a
breakfast
-tray or else a dark and sullen boy nodding vigorously for no, unless bending his neck quickly towards the left shoulder then towards the right and back towards the left for yes as if to say the last straw or what-the-hell. Mineralwasser?
What-the
-hell. Bending his head vigorously from left to right and bringing MYHEPAΛHA BOΔA. Oh that. I can’t think why you bother. Well, on one level one hardly listens to the autentico dramma dell’ agnosticismo with all ingredients historical philosophical and social determining the involution of this our civilisation in la Francia la Germania e soprattutto la dolce Inghilterra, its emerald meadows scattered with houses castles lampoons rhododendrons pettinated lanes in which fires burn with sweet evening conversations surrounded by the Saddle of Koznitsa to the west and the undulating heights of the Sredna Gora mountains to the south along the Valley of the Roses. The very name symbolises pretty girls picking the blossoms among concrete faces looking to the right or wrong according to the viewpoint where to stop. The sun pours its light down on the blessed earth unless some desolate moon-goddess aghast at her son’s death and the catastrophe she has provoked saying but where have all the flowers gone? Ah mademoiselle, they have not blossomed yet, the season has not yet come.