The Cowboy's Holiday Blessing (14 page)

“Yeah, I care.”

“Just bring her home.”

The phone went dead. Jackson stood with the cell phone in his hand watching the steady stream of traffic down the street. A hand touched his arm. He turned and Madeline gave him a cautious look. “Problem?”

He shook his head and pocketed his phone. “Nothing I can't handle. Let's go back inside and see if Jade found something wonderful she can't live without.”

“She found several items that fit that description.”

“What about you?”

“No, I'm not a jewelry person. And as interesting as their jewelry is, I'm more of an antiques girl. There's something about owning something that someone treasured for years, or generations.”

“Gotcha.” He touched her back with one hand and reached to push the door open with the other. Antiques. He filed that away for future reference.

The whirlwind of a teenager grabbed him and for the next fifteen minutes pointed out every awesome thing she could find. And then she told him she didn't want anything. She was happy just to look. Jackson hugged her tight. If he'd had a kid, he'd want her to be just like
this one. He'd want her to be wild about living life, meeting people and experiencing new things.

He bought her a matching set of jewelry and she threw her arms around his neck and whispered, “I love you, Dad.”

Over her shoulder he caught Madeline's soft-hearted expression, eyes filling with unshed tears. “You're welcome, kiddo.”

She deserved a dad. Tomorrow he would have to tell her the truth. He knew, from talking to Gloria, that if he didn't, Gloria would. It would hurt less coming from him. Nothing in the world would keep it from hurting, though.

“We should probably head home.” He paid for the jewelry and handed the bag, all decorated in bows and swirls, to Jade.

Madeline stood next to the door waiting for them. “Good idea. I have to be at practice in two hours and I bet that puppy is going crazy wanting outside. And that's your fault, Jackson Cooper.”

“My fault?” He opened the door for them. “What, exactly, is my fault?”

“The puppy at my house making who knows what kind of mess.”

“Oh yeah, the puppy. Okay, that probably is a little bit my fault.”

“So you'll come over and clean up her puppy messes?”

“Nope, but I'll buy you dinner tomorrow evening.” Jackson gave her his best smile because he couldn't take a chance that she'd say no.

“Tomorrow? But you'll be in Oklahoma City.” Her eyes widened and her chin came up a slight notch as she got what he meant.

“You said you would go with us.”

Madeline remained quiet as Jade moved ahead of them, drifting to the front of a store that held a display of tie-dyed shirts.

“She has to go home, doesn't she?” Madeline slowed her steps, and Jackson matched his to hers.

“I wish she didn't, but Gloria is pretty determined. She wants her daughter home and she pointed out that Jade isn't mine.”

“She put your name on the birth certificate.”

“I know. But the DNA proves otherwise.”

“So this is the end.”

Jackson nodded and he couldn't look Madeline in the eyes. Yeah, this was the end. Jade had to go home. Madeline would be out of his life. Everything would go back to normal. He'd go back to his life. They'd each go back to their respective lives. Whatever lesson he'd been expected to learn would be over.

It sounded easy but it hurt like crazy to think about it. Tomorrow his life would be his own again. No, he wouldn't be throwing a party anytime soon.

A
quiet house. Madeline walked through her front door after work on Friday and thought about how this quiet used to be normal. No Jade. No Angel the puppy. Heather Cooper was babysitting the dog for her until they got back from taking Jade to Oklahoma City. No noise and no clutter.

After today her life was her own again. No more Jackson Cooper messing around in her business, or her emotions. She should sigh a sigh of relief over that one. Good riddance!

She dropped her bag by the hall tree and kicked off her boots. But she didn't have a lot of time. Jackson wanted to leave for Oklahoma City in an hour. That meant packing an overnight bag, changing clothes and tidying up a little before he got there to pick her up.

The plan included them staying one night in Oklahoma City. She would stay in a separate hotel room with Jade, to keep the girl safe and watch her. Tomorrow morning they would take Jade to her mother. And then they'd head home. Alone.

End of story. End of this little chapter in her life. This very complicated, cluttered chapter. As she walked
through the hall the phone rang. She ignored it. It quit ringing but immediately started again. Madeline reached for it as she headed to her room to grab extra clothes.

“Hello.”

“Madeline, it's me. It's your mother.”

Madeline cringed and then she groaned. “Stop calling me.”

“It's almost Christmas. I just wondered if maybe you would reconsider seeing me. Please. If you would just see me, just once?”

“Do you know what happened to Sara?” Madeline grabbed jeans out of her closet and two sweaters. She shoved pajamas into her bag and extra warm socks.

A long pause and then her mother spoke again. “Honey, I'm sorry.”

“Sorry? I think we've established that. You're sorry and you want to be forgiven.” Madeline leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. And as much as she fought the urge to stay angry, to stay bitter, she wanted to forgive. The little girl in her cried out for her mother.

Over the years, every now and then, she'd thought about what it would be like if her mother came back. If her mother could be the person she wanted her to be, needed her to be. That dream had seemed far better than the thought of always being alone with no family to turn to.

“Madeline, Sara…” Across the line Madeline heard a sniffle and then a sob. “Honey, she killed herself the night that she took you to town. She wanted you safe, I think. She did what I should have done.”

Madeline walked to the window and looked out at the barren December landscape painted in shades of brown and gray. Bleak. Winter was always so bleak.

This moment felt like winter. It ached deep down inside, frozen and cold.

“I have to get off the phone now.” Madeline held the phone to her ear as she slipped into jeans.

“Maybe before Christmas we can talk again?”

Madeline nodded even though the woman on the other end couldn't see. “I'll pray about it.”

“Thank you. Oh, Madeline, thank you.”

The call ended. Madeline sat on the edge of the bed and thought about the girl who hadn't really been her sister. Sara hadn't saved herself. She had given up. And no one had ever told Madeline. They'd allowed her to search, to ask questions, and they'd hidden the truth from her.

Maybe she could have found the truth if she'd tried a little harder? The one thing she couldn't have done was save Sara.

A car honked. She shoved her makeup bag and extra clothes into an overnight bag, slid her feet into boots and jerked her coat off the hall tree on her way out the door.

Jade jumped out of the truck and motioned for Madeline to climb in. Always pushing her into the middle. Madeline shook her head and climbed in. Jackson smiled big as she slid across the leather seat. He tipped his hat a little and winked. As she slid close she realized how good he smelled. And how good it felt to sit next to him.

The door slammed and Jade reached for her seatbelt. She didn't smile, though. Instead she watched out the window, shoulders slumped. Madeline touched her arm and Jade turned, smiling just a little.

“It'll be okay.”

Jade shrugged. “Yeah, sure it will.”

“We're not walking out of your life, Jade.” Jackson shifted gears, his hand brushing Madeline's knee. She scooted a little closer to Jade.

“Right, I know.” Jade looked out the window again, ignoring them.

Were they so different, she and Jade? Madeline thought not. Both had mothers they wanted to escape from. Madeline had escaped once and then she'd had to escape again. And again. She wasn't going to run anymore. This time she would face her mother. She'd been learning that facing fears sometimes meant overcoming them, seeing them for the tiny ant hills they were rather than the mountains they appeared to be.

Maybe her mother would be another mountain conquered.

Maybe someday Jade would conquer her mountains, her giants. It took faith, learning to rely on faith.

A hand touched Madeline's. She turned her attention from Jade to the man sitting next to her. Jackson Cooper. Her fears had changed from how he could hurt her, to how he could break her heart.

She hadn't expected that.

“How was your day?” He slid a quick look her way before turning his attention back to the road.

“Good day at school. My mother called again.” She meant to be strong but her voice broke a little. Jackson shot her another quick look.

“You okay?”

“Good. I'm good.” An easy smile to prove the point.

“Are we going to stop and eat?” Jade turned from the window to ask the question. “Are you taking me home as soon as we get to Oklahoma City?”

“We will eat. I do need to check in with your mom as soon as we get to town, but I thought you could stay
with us tonight. I reserved two rooms, one for the two of you and one for me.”

“Cool, a hotel. The only hotel I've ever stayed in was the shelter when Mom…” Jade's words faded off and she turned her attention back to the window. “How come you had to bring bulls?”

Madeline glanced back at the trailer hooked to the truck.

“I'm selling them.” Jackson looked in the rearview mirror. “We'll stop at a ranch outside of the city, unload the cattle and drop the trailer. I'll pick the trailer up on our way back home.”

“
Your
way back home.” Jade corrected with a big frown.

“Jade, this isn't goodbye.”

“Yeah, I know.” She reached to turn up the radio. “Silent Night” filled the cab of the truck.

Madeline started singing. Jackson glanced at her, a quick look at her profile. Jade kept staring out the window for a minute but then she couldn't help herself. He figured that's what Madeline intended. Pretty soon Jade and Madeline were both singing. An elbow jabbed his gut.

“Broken ribs, remember?” He grunted and grimaced a little.

“Sing.” Madeline smiled up at him, innocent and sweet.

He hadn't sung “Silent Night” in years but he joined them for the chorus. The chorus went high. They laughed at him.

“Hey, you said to sing.”

“We changed our minds.” Jade looked pained and stuck her fingers in her ears. “Please don't sing again.”

“Give me another chance.” He cranked the volume to
George Strait singing a Christmas song. “This is more like it.”

Madeline openly laughed. “You're not even going to tell us that you compare to George Strait.”

He winked and grinned at her. “I'm a cowboy. I have jeans and a…cute grin.”

“You're full of yourself.” She shook her head and started singing.

For the next two hours they sang to the radio. Jade finally fell asleep. He didn't know if Madeline had intended for it to be such a great distraction, but it had worked. He owed her.

Jackson slowed the truck for the turn that would take them to the small town where he had a buyer for the bull calves in the trailer.

“Are we almost there?” Jade blinked a few times and then rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

“Almost.” Jackson took the next right. The trailer lurched and the truck pulled a little. “We'll eat after we drop these calves.”

“I'm starving.” Jade again. She stretched and then leaned her head on Madeline.

He pulled up the driveway, dialed his phone and listened to the man on the other end give directions on which gate to back up to with the trailer.

“Give me fifteen minutes. The two of you can stay in here where it's warm.”

Madeline nodded and watched him get out of the truck. He looked back in at her. Lately he'd wondered a lot what she thought about him. If he had any sense at all he wouldn't want an answer to that question.

Thirty minutes later Jackson was back in the truck and they were on the road. He cranked the heat and
tossed his gloves in the floor of the truck. “Man, it's freezing out there.”

“Is that sleet?” Madeline nodded, indicating moisture hitting the windshield.

“Yeah, I think it is. And maybe freezing rain. We need to get to Oklahoma City.” He glanced at his watch. “I wonder if it's doing this in Tulsa.”

His parents and brother were in Tulsa heading up a charity bull riding event for Travis's favorite charity, a group home for children taken from their parents. Kids like Jade. Hopefully the weather didn't mean the event got cancelled.

The frozen stuff hit the windshield. He flipped on his wipers and turned the heat to defrost. They were driving through Oklahoma City and already cars were sliding off into the ditch. Good thing he'd left that stock trailer behind. He'd pick it up on his way home.

“Can we eat now?”

Jackson shook his head. “No, we're going to see your mom first. And then we'll head for our hotel and order from room service.”

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jade wringing her hands and biting her lip.

“Jade…” He stopped because he wouldn't tell her again that it would be okay. She'd heard it enough. He didn't know what would happen, so how could he make promises?

The GPS gave directions to the address Jade's mom had given him. It was dark and the houses were dark. People stood on porches, walked out to cars. Houses were boarded up and looked empty. The house they stopped in front of didn't look much better than the abandoned houses.

“Home sweet home.” Jade opened her door and got out.

The freezing rain had stopped but it was still cold. Jackson slid a little as he got out. He reached back in for Madeline. Jade had already headed up the sidewalk.

Gloria, not the Gloria he remembered from years ago, but a thinner version with stringy hair and a gaunt face, stepped outside. She shivered in her thin T-shirt and skin-tight jeans.

“Did you tell her you're not her dad?”

Jackson shot Jade a look, saw her face pale, her eyes widen.

“Not like this, Gloria.”

“Well, she's got to stop living in a fantasy world, thinking she's some princess who got lost. This is it, sweetheart, home sweet home.”

“Gloria, stop.” Jackson rushed up the steps, reaching for Jade as the girl bolted.

“You should have told me.” Jade slipped from his grasp and ran down the steps, down the sidewalk. At the street she turned. “I thought I could trust you.”

“Jade, you can.” But how could she trust anyone? “Come back and talk.”

When he realized she didn't plan on talking, he went after her. But she was gone. She disappeared into the dark night. Madeline ran to his side, yelling for Jade to come back. They walked down the street together, past houses with loud music cranked. People shouted and cars honked.

“Where'd she go?” Madeline shivered next to him.

“It's hard to tell. Maybe she has a friend around here somewhere. Maybe Gloria knows.”

They walked back to the house. Gloria had gone inside.

“How does this happen?” Madeline asked as they walked to the front door. “How does a life get this out of control?”

“Wrong choices build up.” Jackson shrugged and slid an arm around the shivering woman who didn't have to be here with him. “So, your mom called again?”

“She wants to see me. I'm thinking I might. I don't know. She told me that Sara killed herself.”

Jackson pulled her close to his side. “I'm sorry.”

She nodded and reached to knock on the door. “The important thing now is finding Jade.”

Gloria opened the door. In the light from the living room her skin looked yellow and dry. She scowled at them as if she couldn't remember who they were or why they were there.

“What?”

“We didn't find Jade.” Jackson pushed the door open. “Mind if we come in?”

“I'd rather you not.”

“Right, but we are.” He led Madeline into the smoke-filled living room. It stank of old food, cigarettes and unchanged cat litter. “Where do you think she went?”

“What do you care? You're not her dad.” Gloria plopped down on the sofa and lit another cigarette.

“My name is on her birth certificate. You did that.”

She shrugged. “Yeah, well, I couldn't think of anyone else to put on there. I wanted her to have a dad. You seemed decent.”

“Did you think I was her dad, Gloria?”

“No, not really. I just thought if something ever happened to me, you'd be contacted and the kind of family you came from, you wouldn't leave a kid on her own.”

He tensed and shoved his hands into his pockets. He'd never wanted to hurt a woman, not once in his life.
This one pushed him pretty close to that point. “Where is she?”

“Probably at that preacher's house. Maybe at a friend's house. She'll be home tomorrow. Once she calms down and realizes her little vacation is over.”

“Don't you care about her at all?” Madeline's voice shook and Jackson reached for her hand. “She's a child. She needs you.”

Gloria stood, got in Madeline's face, the whites of her eyes as yellow as her skin. “Don't come in here and tell me how to raise my daughter, Princess. Yeah, you're one of those do-gooders who ain't never had to suffer.”