The Cowboy's Holiday Blessing (15 page)

“You have no idea what you're talking about.” Madeline stood tall. “But I do know that Jade deserves for you to be her mother.”

“You take her then.” Gloria dropped back to her seat on the couch and waved them away. “You take her.”

“Take her?” Jackson stepped closer. He kneeled to put himself at eye level. “Gloria, are you okay?”

She turned away but not before he saw tears streaking down her cheeks. “Hepatitis. But it doesn't matter. I'm done with that kid running away every time something happens that she doesn't like. You're not her dad, but your name is on the birth certificate. Take her with you. Give her to your family or something.”

She coughed into her hand and then lit another cigarette.

“You all need to go. I have somewhere I need to be.” She slid her feet into shoes and grabbed a jacket off the chair next to her. “I don't know where she is. Come back tomorrow and maybe she'll be here.”

As she got up and started to walk away Jackson grabbed her thin arm, ignoring the marks on her arms. He tried to remember the person he'd met fourteen
years ago. A young woman and her sister traveling and having adventures.

“What about Jade?”

Gloria laughed, a croaking sound that ended in a cough. “Take her, Jackson. I don't want her. Give her to your girlfriend. Take her to your family. Or call the police and have them pick her up. I've had a good time not worrying about her.”

“Really?” Madeline stepped between Gloria and the door. “Is that really how you feel about your daughter?”

Gloria stopped to grab a beat-up, dirty purse. “Get out of my house.”

“No, I want to know if that's how you really feel about your child.” Madeline shook so hard Jackson didn't know if she'd stay on her feet or fall over. But she didn't appear to be about to back down. She had the look of a mother tiger about to do battle for her cub and he wanted to hug her.

“Look around you.” Gloria swung a thin arm around the dirty living room. “This is it. This is all I have. One more mouth to feed. That's what Jade is. She needs stuff. She's always wanting new clothes. She wants to go places.”

“You'll sign over custody?” Jackson stepped close to Madeline. “I'll get a lawyer tomorrow and have something temporary drawn up.”

“Yeah, sure.” Gloria's eyes glistened. “I'll sign.”

Jackson pulled out his wallet. “Take this.”

“You buying my kid, Jackson?”

“No, Gloria, I'm helping out someone who used to be a friend.”

Gloria motioned them out of her house without saying anything and then she walked down the side
walk. Jackson stood on the front porch, unsure of how this whole situation had happened.

“What do I do now?” He glanced down at Madeline.

“Find your daughter?”

Yeah, and he had no idea where to start. Somewhere on this street of mostly dark houses, a few with a sprinkling of Christmas lights or a tree showing through a window, Jade had taken refuge. She was hiding from them, thinking he had let her down.

Madeline reached for his hand. “We'll find her.”

We.

T
hey didn't find her. Madeline woke up the next morning with the sun peeking through the heavy curtains of the hotel and an empty feeling in the region of her heart. They'd driven for hours. They'd stopped and asked people on the street if they'd seen a young girl. They'd called the local police for help.

Jade had disappeared. Madeline looked at the other bed, still made. Jade should have been in that bed. She should have been safe, knowing that Jackson loved her the way a father loved a daughter.

That thought did fill Madeline's heart. It filled up empty spaces, that Jackson could love Jade that way, in a way that would make a girl like Jade feel safe, secure, not afraid. If only Jade knew.

Madeline forced herself to get up and get ready for another day. She prayed, the way they'd stopped and prayed last night, she and Jackson, that they'd find Jade safe. She closed her eyes thinking of that moment that Jackson had reached for her hand and said they'd forgotten something.

How could they have forgotten to pray?

She opened her eyes and looked in the mirror. She
prayed again, but this time for herself, not for Jade. Her heart had moved into foreign and very dangerous territory. Her heart, crazy, inexperienced organ that it was, wanted to run away with emotions that were new.

Someone pounded on her door. She peeked through the peephole and saw Jackson standing in the hall. He had his hat in his hands and he was looking up, waiting. She pulled the door open.

“Any news?”

He shook his head. “None. Let's grab some breakfast and we'll see if we can find her.”

Madeline looked back into her room. “Should I pack my stuff?”

“No, I already reserved the rooms for a second night. If we find Jade, we can go home, but if we don't, we have a place to come back to.”

“We'll find her.” She grabbed her purse and coat and pulled the door closed behind her. “She's hurt and she's running but she'll be back.”

Hurt and running were two things Madeline knew from experience.

Outside the hotel it was difficult to tell that there were any problems in the world. They'd stayed in a quaint section of Oklahoma City called Bricktown. Arriving late last night Madeline had seen the twinkling of Christmas lights and heard music, but neither of them had been in the mood to enjoy the city.

They'd gotten a cup of coffee and headed to their individual rooms. Now, Bricktown surrounded them. Bricktown, once a warehouse district, a place where industry thrived, had been reinvented, and turned into an entertainment district with restaurants and other attractions.

They walked along the canal, watching steam rise from the water. Neither talked for a long time.

“We should eat something.” Jackson led her toward a restaurant that appeared to be open. “I could use coffee.”

“That sounds good.” Madeline walked through the door he opened for her.

Weeks ago she would have looked down, avoided touching him as she walked through the door of the Mad Cow. Today she looked up, smiled and hoped he'd return the gesture. She wanted to comfort him, to reassure him.

The door eased closed. Jackson leaned, touching his forehead to hers. “Thank you.”

She nodded, still close to him, unable to move away. “You're welcome.”

“What am I going to do with a kid?” He laughed a little and then pulled back from her. “What was I thinking?”

“You were thinking that Jade needs a family and you can give her a wonderful family.”

The hostess led them to a table. When they were seated Jackson reached for her hands. “I'm not a family. I'm me. I'm a single, almost thirty-four-year-old man who has never had a relationship that lasted longer than two months. To be honest, Madeline, you're about the best relationship I've ever had.”

“That's not promising, is it?” She pulled her hands from his and reached for the menu, a laminated card stuck between the sugar bowl and the napkin holder.

“I think it is.” He nodded at the waitress when she brought a pot of coffee to their table.

Madeline smiled up at the waitress. “I'll take biscuits and gravy.”

Jackson ordered the same. “I called a lawyer this morning. He's a friend of my brother Blake's and he lives here in Oklahoma City. He's writing something up for us and he's going to meet us at Gloria's.”

“That's good. I only wish we could find Jade and tell her.”

“We're going to find her. I'm not leaving here without her.”

After they'd finished eating, they walked the block to the parking garage. Jackson spent part of the time talking on the phone, first to his parents, then the police and then the lawyer. Finally he slid the phone into his pocket and Madeline asked the question that had been on her mind since the previous day.

“Jackson, from the very beginning, you seemed to know that Jade wasn't yours.”

He pulled out his truck key and kept walking. Madeline had to pick up her pace to keep up. He had her door open and she stopped, waiting for him to answer. He helped her in the truck and then he stood in the open door.

“I knew she wasn't mine because I can't have kids.” He closed the door and walked away.

Madeline leaned back in the seat, closing her eyes against the pain she'd seen in his eyes. When he got in next to her she opened her eyes and looked at him. He started the truck and shifted into Reverse without speaking.

“I'm sorry. It's none of my business.”

“No, it isn't. But now you know. She isn't mine. It was never possible. I had a bad case of the mumps as a kid…” His voice trailed off and he focused on driving.

“But you didn't tell her. You allowed her to stay.”

Jackson sighed and yanked off his hat. He tossed
it on the seat between them and he didn't look at her. Madeline reached, touching her fingers to his. He moved his hand so that their fingers laced together.

“Madeline, I let her stay because I thought ‘what if?' And I let her stay because she was a kid who wanted a family bad enough she was willing to hitch a ride and forge a note to find one. I also didn't want her taken into custody, not at Christmas.”

“So am I the only one who knows your secret?”

“That I can't have kids? My family knows.”

She shook her head. “No, I mean the other secret. The part about you being one of the most decent men in Dawson.”

“You've forgotten that I'm the Jackson that dates a different woman every week. I'm the guy who keeps my mother and grandmother on their knees praying I'll come back to church.”

“Right, you're that Jackson.” But he wasn't that Jackson at all. Not anymore.

He glanced at her and laughed. “Don't get that look in your eyes like you've discovered something wonderful and noble about me, or some secret that explains my wicked ways. I am who I am, Madeline.”

They finished the drive to Gloria's in silence. Madeline didn't need to ask for further explanations. Jackson was who he was. Note to self: don't get attached to a cowboy who breaks hearts for a hobby. Even when that cowboy is noble to the core.

 

Jade was sitting on the front porch of her mother's house. Jackson pulled up and a big, dark blue sedan pulled up right behind him. That would be the lawyer and his wife, the notary. As Jackson got out of the truck, Jade walked into the house, ignoring him.

Madeline was ignoring him, too. That was for the best. She was tea. He was coffee. She would someday want to get married and have babies. He could picture her in a little house, a baby in her arms, some nice guy coming home from his office job.

He wanted to hurt that nice guy with the office job. But right now wasn't the time to be plotting against fictional people in Madeline's life. Now he had to deal with Jade. That had to be his focus.

“George, do you have the paper?” Jackson held his hand out, shook the hand of the lawyer and then took the paper he handed over.

“Right here. Are you sure about this?”

“Yeah, I'm sure. I've never been more sure about anything.” Almost anything. Madeline stood a short distance away. When he smiled at her she looked away.

Gloria opened the front door of her house and dragged her daughter out. Jade jerked away from her mother. She stood on the porch, still wearing the clothes she'd worn the day before. Today, though, her look of defiance had multiplied. She seemed to be daring all of them to speak to her.

Madeline didn't seem to care what Jade's look said. She walked right up the steps and gathered the girl into her arms. She whispered and Jade shot him a look. Her eyes got big, watered, and her nose turned pink.

What in the world was he thinking?

“Jade, do you want to go home with me?” He handed the paper to Gloria. “Sign this.”

She jerked it from his hand and looked it over. “Fine, give me a pen and get her out of here.”

Her words were cold, callous. Jackson didn't know if Jade noticed, but her mother's eyes didn't reflect that
tone. Her eyes watered and she had to look away, to brush the tears from her cheeks.

Gloria signed the paper. Jackson signed it. The lawyer signed it. Jackson turned to Jade. “Hug your mother.”

“She isn't my mother.”

Madeline gasped and Jackson shot her a look. He didn't need another emotional female in this mix. He turned to Jade, now officially in his custody. “Hug your mother.”

Jade had walked off the porch but she stomped back up the steps and she hugged Gloria. Gloria held her tight for a minute and then let her go quick. She stepped back and looked away. “You go with Jackson and try to behave. I want you to visit.”

“She'll visit.” Jackson didn't know what to do now. This time he let Madeline handle it. She hugged Gloria and gave her a phone number. In case she needed anything.

They were walking down the sidewalk when Gloria ran down and grabbed Jade again. She held her daughter tight and then whispered, “I did my best. I'm sorry.”

Jade stared at her mother, unsure. “I know. Thank you for letting me go with Jackson.”

“Yeah, okay.” And then Gloria ran back up the steps and into the house.

“Let's go home.” Jackson opened the door. Madeline climbed in last this time. She put Jade between them and he figured that said it all.

On the drive home he had plenty of time to think about the situation he'd put himself in. Jade slept next to him, her head resting on Madeline's shoulder. Madeline had fallen asleep as well.

He turned the radio on low but he didn't hear the music. He had too much to think about. Like what in the world would he do with a teenager? He didn't want to dump Jade on his parents. He'd take her to his sister Heather and then figure out a plan. He guessed he'd need a live-in housekeeper. He'd also have to put her in school as soon as possible.

When he stopped to pick up the trailer, Madeline woke up.

“I guess we're not home?”

He shook his head. “Just an hour out of the city.”

By the time he got back in the truck she had fallen back to sleep. He looked at her, sleeping like that, and he wondered what it would be like, to have a life with a woman like Madeline. A man would be blessed to have her as a wife.

He wanted to be that man.

In thirty-three years he'd never had that thought. Not this way, in a way that settled in his gut, twisted him up inside. Yeah, there had been women, most of them not exactly the kind he'd take home to his mother, that he'd dreamed about marrying.

This woman, though, she'd gotten under his skin. He could see her raising a bunch of kids, growing old with a guy, having grandchildren.

Children and grandchildren. He knew someday she'd have those things. She'd have everything she deserved. But not with him.

She'd get married. He'd stay in his old farmhouse, raising Jade, sometimes dating. Maybe he wouldn't date. That game was getting old, as old as he was.

He drove through Dawson, one main street, convenience store, feed store, Vera's. He waved as a neighboring farmer walked out of the feed store. At the edge
of town he turned on the paved county road that led to Cooper property, and Madeline's little house in the middle of the vast acreage that belonged to his family.

“Madeline, we're almost there.”

She woke up, blinked a few times and rubbed sleep from her eyes. “Wow, I slept the entire way?”

“We had a rough day yesterday. You needed the sleep.”

When he pulled in her driveway, she gathered up her purse and overnight bag. “I would walk you to the door, but I'd better get her home.”

“That's okay, I'm a big girl.” She smiled at him, a sweet as honey smile. “Goodbye, Jackson.”

He tipped his hat and smiled. “Goodbye, Madeline.”

She had already jumped out of the truck and was going up the sidewalk to her front door. She stopped on the porch and waved.

 

Goodbye, Madeline.
As she drove to the community center for practice, Madeline tried to forget that empty goodbye a few days ago. She'd known when she stepped into Jackson's life that he was a player. She'd known that the only reason he'd dragged her into his life was to help him with Jade.

She parked her car and walked up to the church. Beth Hightree met her at the steps.

“You look down tonight.”

“I'm not down. I mean, not really. I'm just tired.”

Beth nodded and Madeline thought she'd let it go. It would be good if she let it go. “I heard that Jackson brought Jade back home with him.”

“He did.”

“And she isn't his?” Beth walked with her through the old church sanctuary.

“Nope. But his name is on her birth certificate.”

“Amazing. He's always had a big heart.”

A big heart. Madeline nodded but she didn't want to talk about this anymore. She wanted to forget that Jackson had a big heart, that he cared about people. She wanted to remember him the way she used to think of him, as the man who knew how to charm, to smile and flirt but not remember a woman's name.