The Cowboy's Holiday Blessing (16 page)

Beth continued to stare at her, obviously wanting an answer.

“He has a big heart.” There, she'd agreed. Now let it go. Move on.

Beth laughed a little and reached to hug Madeline. “Oh, honey, you've fallen in love with that awful rogue.”

“No, I haven't.” Madeline reached for her shepherd's robe. “I helped him out when he needed help. End of story. Which is why I haven't talked to him since Saturday.” She hadn't meant to add that.

“And you're going to let it go, just like that? Maybe he's been busy with Jade and hasn't had a spare minute to get in touch with you.” Beth helped her pull down the rough, cotton gown. She handed Madeline the belt.

“Or maybe he's moved on. He's Jackson Cooper. Isn't that what he does?”

Beth took the belt from her hands and looped it twice around her waist, tying it at the side.

“In the past that's what he did. But I think he probably misses you as much as you miss him.”

“This isn't me missing him. This is me being tired and ready for Christmas to be over.”

“Right, you want Christmas to be over. You love Christmas.”

“I do love Christmas.” She loved the music, the deco
rations and most of all what the story meant to her life and to her faith. “I love it without the drama. And I don't mean the living nativity. I mean Jackson drama, Jade, and now my mother.”

“She's contacted you again?”

Madeline pulled the shawl over her head to cover her hair.

“She wants to see me.”

“You can't.”

Madeline met her friend's concerned gaze. “I think I have to. I've thought about not seeing her. But I think I need closure. I need to face her. I have to do this or it will always control me.”

“If you want, I'll go with you.”

They hugged and Madeline nodded. “I'd love for you to go with me. I'm not running anymore, Beth. I'm not going to flee in fear that she'll find me. If I face her, I won't have to run again. I can stay here and let this be my home.”

“I'm glad because I wouldn't want you to leave.” Beth smiled a teasing smile. “And I think Jackson would miss you, too.”

“I think what we need to do is get up there for this last practice.”

Because she could only deal with one thing at a time. She would deal with her mother, with forgiving. Jackson was something she didn't want to think about. She didn't want to think about how he made her feel, or how much it hurt to think of that very quiet goodbye.

Jackson had needed a friend. Madeline smiled as they walked out of the dressing room. “You know, I'm just the person a guy calls when he needs a really big favor.”

“I think the Jackson I know, that I grew up with, doesn't call a woman to rescue him.”

No, he didn't call at all. He said goodbye without even adding the cliché, “I'll call you.” Goodbye means goodbye.

A
few days before Christmas, Jackson walked through his house and it hit him that everything felt empty. Jade was staying with his grandmother for a few days. Madeline hadn't spoken to him since the day he dropped her off at her house.

The Christmas tree lights were unplugged. There were no gifts under his tree. It felt as much like Christmas as a hot day in July. Jackson Cooper, this is your life. This was reality.

He'd always liked it this way, empty, clean, quiet. Until it got filled up with Jade and Madeline, this life had been fine with him. They'd given him a brief glimpse into another world.

The doorbell chimed and the dog ran through the living room barking. Jackson yelled that he'd be there in a minute. When he opened the door his grandmother marched in, looking like a woman on a mission. With his grandmother, it was all about appearances. She had on her favorite hat, gloves and a dress coat over a pant-suit. And everyone new that Myrna Cooper loved her blue jeans. Suits were only for business and church. He
grinned as she swooped in and he knew that he was her business.

“Where's Jade?” He looked behind her, looked at her car parked sideways in the drive.

“She's with Heather. They went Christmas shopping. Dear goodness, turn on some lights, this place looks and feels like a morgue. It's Christmas. Are you Scrooge?”

She walked ahead of him, flipping on lights, opening curtains. She plugged in the tree. “Nice tree. Buy some decorations next year.”

“I like the homemade ones.” Made by Madeline and Jade.

“Well, I never thought of you as the pitiful grandson.”

“What does that mean?” He followed her into the kitchen where she turned on the coffeemaker. “I hear Travis brought a woman home with him. Harden's daughter?”

“Yeah, she's a looker.”

Jackson laughed. “Gram, you're one of a kind.”

She shrugged bony shoulders and turned to point a finger at him. Rings sparkled and bracelets clinked on her arms. “You're a mess.”

“Could you explain what this visit is all about?”

“I'm here to save you.”

“I think I've been saved. I'm even back in church. What more could you want?”

“I'm here to save you from your pitiful self. It was sweet of you to bring Jade back and give her a home, but you can't expect the rest of the family to raise her.”

“I'm going to raise her.”

“I know you are. You're going to find yourself a wife and you're going to raise that child the way she
deserves, with you as a dad and with a decent woman as a mom.”

“Gram, I'm not getting married.”

“Oh, posh, stop that nonsense.” She pulled a ring off her finger and handed it to him. “This ring was my grandmother's. I guess it's older than dirt, but it means something to me. It's about family, about history. You take this ring and you ask Madeline Patton to marry you.”

He choked a little and put the ring back in her hand. “I don't know what you're up to, Gram, but I'm not asking Madeline to marry me.”

“You hard-headed fool. That girl loves you and I'm pretty sure you love her, too.”

He poured two cups of coffee. “I'm not in love. She helped me out. We're friends.”

She frowned at him. “You're going to make me lose my witness if you don't stop acting so noble. Fine, you aren't sure. Date her for a while and then ask her to marry you.”

“I'm not going to marry Madeline Patton.”

Gram patted his cheek with a cool hand. He braced himself for it. Three little pats and then a good whack. He blinked and shook his head.

“Jackson, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Marry the girl.”

She pushed the ring back into his hand. “And I don't want your coffee. It's always too strong and it gives me heartburn. I want you to invite Madeline to Christmas with the Coopers. She shouldn't be alone and you shouldn't want her to be alone.”

“I'll think about it.”

That pointy finger poked him in the gut. “You'd better do more than think about it. Now, I'm going
home and I want you to get out of this house and go Christmas shopping. This place is a disgrace.”

“Thanks, Gram, glad you approve.”

She laughed as she walked through the house, grabbing her coat on her way out the door. “I love you, Jackson. You're my favorite.”

“Gram, you say that to all of us.”

She turned, smiling big. “I mean it, too.”

That evening Jackson took Jade to see the living nativity. They took the tour of Bethlehem, met the inn-keeper who turned Mary and Joseph away and then were led to the manger where the baby Jesus had been born. Through the crowds of people Jackson watched for the shepherdess who had touched his heart in a way he'd never expected.

Six months ago his brother Lucky had told him that someday he'd pay. He guessed this was what Lucky had meant. A woman had finally changed everything for him. She made him think about someone sitting next to him in those rocking chairs on his front porch.

He watched as she kneeled before Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus. From Heather he'd learned that two days ago she had gone to Tulsa to see her mother. Beth had gone with her. He should have been the one to go with her.

Angels sang. The people in the crowd sang. The story of the birth of Jesus. The lighted star cast a bright light over the area, illuminating everything. Including the tears streaking down Madeline's cheeks.

“Are we going to talk to Madeline?” Jade had hold of his hand. Today he'd gone shopping and when Heather brought Jade to his house, the girl had screamed and raced around the house because of the gifts under the
tree. His grandmother had been right. He'd played the part of Scrooge a little too well.

“Yes, we'll talk to her.”

Jade led him through the crowd. Madeline had walked away from the other shepherds. She saw them heading her way and she froze.

“Madeline.” Jackson didn't know what to say. He tried to remember a time in his life when a woman had left him speechless.

This had to be a first.

“Jackson.” She smiled at Jade. “Hey, Jade, how are you?”

“I'm great. I have a ton of presents under the tree. And there are some for you, too.”

“What?” Her gaze shot to Jackson's, asking questions.

The ball was in his court.

“We were wondering if you'd come to Christmas with us.”

She looked at Jade and then at him. “Christmas?”

“With us,” he repeated.

“Please.” Jade grabbed her hand. “It won't be Christmas if you aren't with us.”

Jackson reached for Jade. “She might have other plans. Do you have other plans?”

“No, I don't have other plans.”

“Then you'll come.” Jade didn't let her answer, but grabbed her in an exuberant hug. “Yeah!”

“Jade, she didn't say she would.” Jackson shook his head. “I'm sorry.”

“I'll go with you. What time?”

“We'll pick you up Christmas morning. Early. Maybe seven.”

“I'll be ready.”

Jackson took a step back because it would have been easy to reach out, to hold her. When it came to Madeline he was still fighting for self-control.

 

Christmas with the Coopers. Madeline spent the next two days worrying, telling herself not to worry, being excited and then telling herself to stop. She had to get control of her emotions, shove them back in a box where they were safe.

Jackson had invited her for Jade's sake. Or maybe because the Coopers knew she'd be alone and they were just being polite. She didn't have to be alone on Christmas. Just over an hour away she had a mother living in Tulsa. Not that she was ready for serious family bonding with Marjorie. Not yet. They had talked. Marjorie had explained about growing up being shipped from relative to relative, getting pregnant and being on the streets until she'd formed a friendship with a group of people she thought would take care of her.

Madeline felt sorry for her mother. But the scars of the past were deep and healing would take time.

Beth Hightree had offered to let Madeline spend Christmas with her family, the Bradshaws. She didn't want to intrude on their family gathering, either. Yet she'd said yes to Jackson and Jade.

She'd even bought them gifts. Books for Jade because she loved to read. For Jackson, a coffee mug and gourmet coffee. She'd made candy to take for the rest of the Coopers. And there were a lot of them. Although a few would be missing. Reese had recently been sent to Afghanistan. Dylan had taken a load of bulls to California and on his way home he'd hit bad weather. He wouldn't be home for a day or two. That meant he'd miss Christmas with his family.

On Christmas morning she paced the living room, waiting for Jackson to show up. Hadn't he said he'd pick her up? What if he'd meant for her to drive herself? She paced back to the kitchen because she didn't want to look overly eager should he show up. If he hadn't changed his mind.

Her heart kept telling her to trust him, to give him a chance. If she didn't want to be judged for her past, Jackson shouldn't be judged for his. Not that he'd been the victim. She groaned at the wild storm of thoughts sweeping through her mind.

Deep breath, calm down. He hadn't invited her for any reason other than that Jade probably wanted her there. Another deep breath. That made perfect sense. Jade had missed her.

The doorbell rang and the puppy, cast-free now, ran in circles, barking and jumping. Madeline slowed her pace and walked calmly to the door. She opened it and a bouquet of flowers and balloons attacked.

“Oops, sorry.” Jackson moved the bouquet and smiled.

Her heart did a triple back flip. He grinned and pushed his hat back a little. “What's this?”

He handed her the vase. “Merry Christmas.”

“Thank you.” She tried to smell the white roses and red carnations but balloon strings were everywhere. “These probably don't mess on the floor or chew up slippers.”

“Not that I've heard of, but if they do, let me know.” He followed her inside and she carried the vase of flowers to the kitchen table.

When Madeline turned, he was standing right behind her. She stepped back and looked up, afraid,
excited, a million different things at once. Afraid of him, afraid of what he'd say or wouldn't say.

“We should go.” She reached for her purse.

“Where's your coat?”

“Hanging on the hall tree.”

Jackson nodded and instead of walking away, he reached for her hand to stop her. “You forgot to read the note on the flowers.”

“I didn't see it.”

Jackson reached for the note and opened it. He cleared his throat. “Allow me.”

“Okay.” Her voice trembled. Her hands trembled. Her heart did something that felt like trembling. Or longing?

“Dear Madeline, will you go steady with a cowboy who might be, very possibly is, in love with you?”

“Are you in love with me?”

“Honey, I'm so in love with you I can't see straight.”

He touched her cheek. Then he leaned, still holding her close, and kissed her sweetly, stealing her heart, taking her places she'd never imagined. In his arms she was cherished. She was loved.

When he backed away, she rested her head on his shoulder. “I love you, too. I was just so afraid.”

“Afraid?”

She nodded and then looked up. “Afraid that you wouldn't love me. Everything in my past, I just thought…”

He kissed her again. “You're strong, brave and beautiful. Yeah, sometimes that is too much. It floors me that you're even standing here with a renegade like me.”

“I don't know what to say.” She didn't know what she could say, not without losing it right there, standing in front of him.

“Madeline, you have to go into this knowing that I can't have children. I'll adopt as many as you want to fill that old farmhouse with. But that's something I've been running from for a long time.”

“We have Jade.”

“We.” He hugged her tight. “I love it when we're a ‘we.'”

 

Jackson reached into his pocket, laughing a little at the surprised look on Madeline's face. “I know we just started going steady—” he glanced at his watch “—two minutes ago, so this probably seems like the shortest courtship in the world, but I have another question I'd like to ask, and if I don't do this right, my grandmother is going to flog me good.”

“Okay.”

“Now bear with me, I'm not as young as I used to be and you might have to help me get up.”

She laughed. He shot her a look, trying to appear offended that she'd laugh at him.

“Jackson, please don't.”

“Are you really going to laugh at a man who is trying to propose the way his Gram expects him to propose, the way a gentleman proposes?”

She laughed until tears sprang from her eyes. Jackson reached for a napkin on the kitchen table and handed it to her.

“Now let's start over. And please, no laughing. I got a two-hour lesson on courting and proposals last night.” He winked and Madeline turned pink. “I think Gram might have mentioned that the courting part of the process should last at least six months and then the proposal. But I've always been a renegade when it comes
to love. I'm afraid if I don't get this ring on your finger, you'll chicken out or realize I'm not much of a catch.”

“Jackson, I love you. But really, I do think we should, um, date? For a few months at least.”

“Stop talking, you're throwing me off my groove. You know, I used to have a groove until you came along and completely threw me for a loop.” He took off his hat and tossed it on the table. With her hand in his he dropped to one knee and fished the ring out of his pocket again.

“Please, stop.” Tears poured down her cheeks. Jackson stopped.

“Are you going to say no?” He didn't know how long he could stay on one knee. He wasn't many weeks this side of being tossed into a wall.