The Day He Kissed Her (23 page)

“Yeah. Because she’s finally ready to move on with her life,” Mac said dryly.

“Hmm,” Becca replied softly.

His sister looked tired. “Are things alright with you?” They hadn’t really talked since she came back from Iowa, but he knew she was looking for a job and that she’d be staying in Crystal Lake for the immediate future.

“I’m…I’m going to be alright.” She paused. “So, Lily seems real nice.”

Mac stared at Becca a few seconds longer, but he wasn’t going to call her out on a deflection. He new she wasn’t ready to talk about stuff, and this wasn’t really the place either.

“She is.”

“So would she be considered your girlfriend?”

Okay, he was all for letting the deflection slide, but man, he wasn’t real up on discussing his personal life with his sister. Jesus, just the day before his mother had asked if he wanted to bring Lily for dinner one night. He’d politely refused because he wasn’t ready to mix his family and Boston—not yet anyway.

Then
why
the
hell
am
I
in
this
canoe
race
with
Lily
and
Liam?

“She’s a friend,” he answered tightly. He didn’t want them making assumptions on stuff he wasn’t even sure about.

“Liam likes her a lot. He says that she’s given him a few art lessons and that she”—Becca paused—“smells real nice.”

Well, Mac couldn’t fault his nephew there.

“Draper, if you don’t get your canoe in the water, you’re never going to have a chance to win.”

Mac glanced over to Jake. “Whatever, Edwards. You’ve never managed to beat me before.”

Jake had his arm around Raine and kissed her on the nose before flipping Mackenzie the bird. “I’ve never had such a pretty copilot either.”

“Do you want me to make something for dinner?”

“No,” he said sharply, glancing at Becca. “I have no idea how long the race will take, but when it’s over, I’ll drop Liam off, and then Lily and I are heading back to the cottage.”

She frowned. “But it’s Saturday night. I just thought that maybe a barbecue would be fun. You don’t need to get your damn panties in a knot.” She took a step back. “What’s your problem anyway?”

“My problem?” That thing that had been buzzing in his head for the last few weeks suddenly sharpened into something hot and angry. He glared at his sister. “My problem is that my private life is private. I don’t need to bring Lily by for dinner or hang out with you guys in the backyard and talk about the good ol’ days because we both know there weren’t any. Why are you so interested in getting to know her anyway?”

“Does it really surprise you that I want to get to know the woman you’re spending so much time with?”

Mac didn’t care that Mrs. Avery and her husband were staring at him, or that old man Lawrence was frowning at him either. He just wanted everyone to leave him the hell alone. Was it childish? Maybe. But he didn’t give a rat’s ass.

“I think,
Becca
, that instead of focusing on me, you should be getting your shit together. I don’t think you need to be worrying about family dinners that would suck or nice relaxed barbecues that we both know would never happen. You’ve got a kid and you’re on your own, so maybe a job might be something to think about. That sounds like a brilliant fucking idea to me. I’m gone after Labor Day, so this thing with me and Lily St. Clare has an expiration date. Your mess of a life doesn’t.”

Becca’s face whitened, and as soon as the words left his mouth, Mac wanted to snatch them back.

“You’re an asshole, Mackenzie. A complete and utter asshole.”

He stared into his sister’s eyes, saw the pain he’d caused, and suddenly his anger left as quickly as it had come. What the hell was wrong with him? This was supposed to be a fun, relaxed day.

“Jesus, Becca. I know,” he said roughly. “Family genetics.” Her bottom lip trembled, and Mac cleared his throat. “I’m sorry.”

It was barely noon and already the day was crap. Could it get any worse?

Becca glanced around, and Mac was suddenly aware that a lot of people were listening in on the Draper family drama. She gave him a hard look and then turned and left, weaving through the crowd until he couldn’t see her anymore.

He glanced over to Jake who was staring at him—his expression unreadable—and then when he turned toward his canoe, big blue eyes caught him. They caught him hard.

Lily held his gaze for several seconds and then motioned for Liam to follow her into the canoe.

Shit.

It was obvious to him that she’d heard everything, and he was guessing she wasn’t real happy with the exchange.

Guess his day was about to get worse.

***

The three of them managed to do okay considering neither Lily nor Liam were really talking to him. They navigated their way through the crowded waters until they broke through and had an expanse of blue to themselves. Mac knew that Cain and Michael were somewhere behind them, but up ahead he spied Jake and Raine—hard not to, Gibson freaking yapped at everything.

They fell into an easy rhythm, and as the afternoon wore on, he managed to coax some conversation out of Liam, but Lily was still cool. Polite. But cool.

When they reached the turnaround, he caught a smile she shot at Liam and his chest tightened when she glanced up at him. The sun painted a halo around her golden head, and with her cheeks pink from exertion, a healthy glow to her skin, and those eyes that could see into his soul, he knew the image was one he’d remember for a long, long time.

He offered a small smile and though she didn’t return it, she didn’t look away either. By the time they reached the shore where they’d started, the air was cooling off and it was nearly six in the evening.

Jake invited them over to the stone cottage at Wyndham Place, but Lily politely declined before Mac could answer, though after checking with Becca, Liam rode back to Jake’s with Cain, Maggie, and Michael.

Lily helped him secure the canoe on top of his truck and once they were in, seat belts in place, he revved the engine and gripped the steering wheel tightly. He wasn’t sure how to fix what he’d inadvertently broken, but he knew he needed to make things right.

He knew that maybe they needed to talk about some things.

“Lily,” he began carefully. “About before…”

“Can you just take me back to my place, please?” Her voice was soft—not a hint of pissed off, but shit. That’s it? She was gonna bail on him because he’d blurted out a bunch of shit that was basically the truth?

“Sure,” he answered sharply. “Sure thing, Boston.”

Her hands were gripped tightly in her lap, and she looked out her window as they pulled away from the beach. He probably shouldn’t have squealed the tires on the blacktop or cranked the tunes to ten, but he was pissed.

He felt the stirrings of something dark and heavy in him, and he thought that maybe this was good. They needed a few days to chill and figure this out, and he needed a date with his good buddy Jack.

Christ, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d cradled that particular bottle in his hands and the thought of getting shit-faced drunk was a good alternative to the thought of being alone at his place.

Hell, maybe he’d hit the Coach House.

Maybe he’d…

“Can you slow down please, Mackenzie?”

Again with the soft voice. He glanced at her, his heart taking off when he found her eyes on him. They were dark and intense, the blue much closer to denim than the clear, blue sky they normally resembled.

That thing inside him—whatever it was—pressed even tighter. Jesus, it didn’t feel as if he could breathe.

Automatically he relaxed his foot on the gas and slowed down as they came upon the bend just before her driveway. He maneuvered it expertly and pulled up beside her car, throwing the truck into park as he finally unclenched his hands from the wheel.

He glanced up at the cottage. She needed to water her hanging baskets or they were going to die.

For a moment, heavy silence filled the cab, and then she reached for the door handle.

“Are you going to shut this thing off?” she asked and then slid from the truck, not looking at him as she started for her porch.

Mac watched her climb the steps. He watched those long, tanned legs eat up the distance in no time. He watched her reach into her back pocket and retrieve a house key.

He watched her open the front door and pause a few seconds before disappearing inside. He had no idea what was going on or what the hell they were doing. He had no idea what Lily was thinking, and he sure as hell didn’t know where his head was at.

It had been a strange afternoon, but as he cut the engine and got out of his truck, he realized that it was time to figure this out—whatever this was.

He supposed it was time to be a grown-up.

Pretty sad, considering he was thirty-five.

Chapter 23

Lily didn’t realize she’d been holding her breath until she heard the front door open and then close. She exhaled in a swoosh and grabbed a tall glass which she filled with cold water from the fridge, before leaning against the counter and staring out the window.

Her heart was beating a little crazily and she felt the heat in her cheeks. She didn’t have to look in the mirror to know that she looked flushed and it wasn’t from the sun either.

“This thing with me and Lily St. Clare has an expiration date.”

She winced and froze when she heard Mackenzie clear his throat behind her. What he had said was true. She knew that. Of course she knew that.

But it was the other things those words had dug out of her—feelings, thoughts, and maybe a dream or two—that had torn at her all day. It was those things that had made her realize that somehow, over the last few weeks, something had changed.

She had changed.

There were things that she wanted—things that she’d never dreamed of having—and they were suddenly very clear.

The only problem was that Lily had no idea what to do about them. She had no idea how to move forward knowing that she wanted more than a casual, sexual relationship. She wanted more than the exclusive dating thing they’d first discussed.

She wanted Mackenzie in a way that she knew was going to bite her in the ass because it was obvious that he was still on the other road—the road called sex with no strings. The road that was only a single lane.

Lily had passed him and was riding fast and hard toward a two-lane highway, and if she wasn’t careful, she was going to crash and burn.

So now the question was, what was she going to do about it? Did she break things off with Mackenzie now? Before there was the chance she’d be hurt? Did she wait for another man like him to walk into her life?

Or did she take a leap of faith…did she take a chance that maybe things would work out between them? Did she choose to believe that the connection they had was a hell of a lot stronger than what they’d originally envisioned?

Did she even have a choice?

She cleared her throat and turned around. “Can I get you anything?”

Mac shook his head. “No.” He took a few steps into the kitchen and then stopped, rubbing the stubble along his jaw. She knew him well enough now to know that it was a nervous gesture, and while she supposed it should make her feel better to know that he was nervous too, it didn’t.

It just meant that they were at a crossroads, and after the morning they’d had—that hot encounter in the shower—it was one she hadn’t seen coming.

“Lily, we should talk.”

“Yes, we probably should.”

Good. They were going to be civil about this. Adult even.

Suddenly hot, she moved past him and headed for the deck out back. The air was cooler outside, and she inhaled a great big gulp of it as she eyed the forest that lined the property.

She’d been thinking of buying it from Raine, thinking of setting down roots in Crystal Lake.

Seems as if she’d been thinking of a lot of things.

Mackenzie stopped beside her and followed her gaze. “I’m sorry if I ruined your day. I didn’t mean…I didn’t mean to get into it with Becca. Sometimes…” He paused, swung out his arms, and rolled his shoulders. “Hell, most of the time, when things heat up, I lose my temper and I always say something stupid.”

“It’s alright, Mackenzie. You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. It just would have been nice if half of Crystal Lake hadn’t heard it. That’s all. I’m sure I’m not the only woman on the planet who would hate to be referred to as nothing more than an expiration date.”

He stared down at her and then moved a little closer. He still had on his Detroit Tigers ball cap and his long, blond hair waved over his ears in a way that made him look younger.

“That’s not what I meant. Jesus, Lily. You have to know that.”

She bit her bottom lip. “I know.”

“I’m going to be honest, Lily. I don’t know where we’re at exactly, but I do know it’s a place I never thought I would be.” He attempted a smile. “It’s a nice place, you know. But I’m pretty sure, at some point, we’re going to be looking at change. I’m not staying here in Crystal Lake. I have a life in New York City.”

“I know,” she replied. “I knew that when we started this.”

“I’ve never been with a woman like you.” He looked so earnest, so much like his nephew Liam that, that damn thing around her heart tightened again. Shit.

Lily held herself still and waited for him to continue.

“I’ve never been with a woman that I wanted to spend all my time with. I just…” He shrugged. “I just never have. I didn’t think she existed.” His voice lowered. “I didn’t think I wanted her to.”

Silence stretched between them, and Mackenzie rubbed the back of his neck.

“God this is hard,” he said roughly before nailing her with a look that she could only describe as haunted. “Things are great, hell, they’re more than just great between us, but I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I gotta be honest with you, Lily. If you’re thinking of anything long-term, I don’t know that I’m the right guy for you.”