The Day He Kissed Her (26 page)

“No.” Jake shook his head. “It’s not that. I just…when I think of what Mac went through growing up, the shit that his father did to him and his family, it makes me sick. Christ, half the stuff none of us knew about, not until years later, and usually because Mac was piss-drunk and on a rant.”

Lily gripped her mug so tightly that her fingers cramped. “I overheard some things at his mom’s last night, and I know his father used to beat them.” She swallowed a lump in her throat. “All of them.”

Jake stared down into his cup and was silent for a few moments. “My first memory of Mac is from the fifth grade. He’d transferred in from another school, and his first day, every single kid in our class was in awe of this new guy. He was the prettiest boy we’d ever seen. Hell, even the teachers were all over him like bees on honey.”

Lily smiled at the thought, picturing a little version of Liam.

“It didn’t go down so well with us guys though. We were a tough nut to crack. Jesse, Cain, and I were already tight, and the other boys in our class weren’t real keen on making this new kid welcome, but the girls sure as hell were.”

Jake paused, and Lily’s heart turned over when she saw the sadness there.

“I had a crush on this particular girl. Her name was Terre Winters. We all did. She had long hair the color of dark tobacco and these big blue eyes. But more importantly, she was into sports and could kick any of our asses when it came to soccer. She took one look at Mac and stuck to him like glue, and Mackenzie, being the natural-born charmer that he was, worked it. Even at that age, he worked it like a pro, and at first recess, she wasn’t interested in playing soccer with us anymore. She wanted to hang out with him.”

A ghost of a smile turned up the corners of Jake’s mouth, but it quickly faded as he fingered the edge of his coffee cup.

“It didn’t take him long to win the guys over. Cain…Jesse…they didn’t understand why I was being such a little dick when it came to Mac. He came to school one day with a shiner that was the color of rotting grapes, and after that, he was pretty much in with the guys. Cain thought it was cool. But me? I still wasn’t convinced that the pretty boy belonged.

“After school one day, I got into it with him. I don’t even remember what it was about exactly, but somehow he ended up with a bloody nose and a hole the size of a golf ball in his jeans. Made me feel good. He wasn’t so pretty anymore, but even now I can picture the look of terror in his eyes because he knew…”

Pinpricks of cold rolled over her skin as Lily stared at Jake. “What did he know?” she whispered.

Jake struggled. Her friend—this big tough guy—struggled with his memory, and Lily wanted to be sick.

“At school the next day, we were changing for gym class. I was still on him, ya know? Still not into this new kid who only had to smile and everyone else was ready to lay down for him. I was jealous I suppose, jealous that Cain and Jesse were willing to let him in. God, I was such a little prick. I got in his face, I taunted him, and he exploded. He gave it right back to me, and in the process of giving me exactly what I deserved, I tugged his shirt off and…”

Jake’s voice was raspy, full of emotion.

“He’d been beaten. Badly. With a belt. He had the nastiest bruises and welts…I can’t even describe them. They crisscrossed his back. Some were yellowed, like they’d been there for a while, but there were several that were red and raw and nasty.”

“Oh my God,” Lily whispered, her heart breaking for this little boy that lived inside the man she loved.

“Mac got up off the floor, threw his shirt back on, and left. We never really talked about it after that—not even when he started coming over, spending the night at our place.” Jake looked at Lily, his expression fierce. “What kind of man does that to his kid?”

“A monster.”

“Yeah,” Jake replied. “A monster.”

Silence fell between the two of them, and Lily hugged her knees as she gazed out the window into the rain. There was pain in her chest, a tightening that stretched across her body and settled in her heart. She thought of Lila Draper and she got angry. And then she got sad. So, so sad.

Her heart broke for this family that was damaged—for this man who was shaped by the sins of his parents.

“I’ve got to get to work,” Jake said abruptly.

“Okay,” Lily said as she slipped out of her chair and followed him to the front door. “How is…where is he?”

Jake pulled his boots on and glanced up at her. “He’s sleeping it off at my place.”

“Do you think I should go to him?”

Jake shrugged. “I don’t know, Lily. He’s not in a good place right now, and if I’ve learned anything over the years when it comes to Mackenzie, it’s that he lashes out when he feels cornered. He might need some space.”

“Oh,” she said, unable to stop her bottom lip from trembling.

“Hey,” Jake murmured, pulling her into a hug. “It will be fine. Just give him a bit of time.”

“I love him,” she blurted and froze when she felt Jake tense up.

“What?” Jake loosened his hold and stared down at her.

“I love him,” she said simply. Jesus, she’d said it out loud.

Jake was silent for a few seconds. “Does he know?”

She shook her head. “No.” She paused. “Should I tell him? Should I go over to your place and tell him right now?”

Jake’s dark eyes softened a bit. “I’d give him some room. At least for a day or two. Let him get this out of his system.”

“Okay.” It wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but Jake knew Mackenzie better than anyone, and she had to trust that his advice was golden.

“It will work out, Lily. Mac is crazy about you. I’ve never seen him like this with a woman, but he needs to get to where you are on his own.”

Lily took a step back. “I know. I’m sure it will be fine.” She pushed at him. “You better get to work.”

She closed the door behind Jake and leaned against it, unable to stop the flow of tears that streamed down her face. She cried for a long time—so long that her legs cramped and she sank to the floor.

She cried so long that her cheeks stung from the salt and her eyes puffed out. She cried for a little boy who’d never had a chance.

And she cried for a man who was still living in that horror.

And then, selfishly, she cried for herself, because she had a very bad feeling about things, and no matter what she did, that bad feeling wouldn’t go away.

Chapter 26

It had been two days since he’d seen Lily. Two days since he’d inhaled that fresh scent that was all her. Two days since he’d felt her warmth, and two days since he’d looked into her eyes.

It was two days too long.

He needed her. God knows he needed her, and for the first time in his adult life, he was going to reach out. He was going to roll the dice and see where they landed.

He had finally called her back the night before, and just the sound of her voice calmed him. There was no judgment, no cold and frosty attitude. There was only concern.

He would have gone to see her—had wanted to—but knew it wasn’t smart because A) he’d been drinking and couldn’t drive so that stopped him right there, and B) he looked like shit and didn’t want her to see him like that.

They didn’t talk about anything that mattered—not really. He told her that his designs were coming along, told her that the golf course was set, and it looked as if the project was ahead of schedule.

Lily had asked him what that meant exactly, and since he was trying real hard to be honest, he’d told her that it meant he could go back to New York City before Labor Day—not that he was planning on that.

She’d gone real quiet, and then she told him that they needed to talk.

No shit.

He glanced in the mirror as he dragged the razor over the stubble on his chin. Christ, he looked crap, but then hugging a bottle of Jack for two nights straight would do that to you.

For a second he froze, his green eyes unfocused as the image in the mirror wavered, and he took a step back.

It was his father’s face he saw, and Mac shook his head, more than a little freaked out. He leaned on the sink, breathing heavy, counting slowly in an effort to pull his shit together.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood like that, alone in his bathroom, counting, breathing, and then counting again. But when he finally dragged his gaze back to the mirror, he was grateful that it was his face staring back at him and not Ben’s.

“Jesus, get it together,” he said roughly.

He’d worked from the cottage today, and it was nearly time for him to head into town for Liam’s ball game. His sister had swung by earlier, but they hadn’t talked about Ben or his mother. She just wanted to make sure that he was okay and that was enough.

Mac pulled on a pair of jeans and T-shirt before grabbing his cell and keys off the table beside his bed. For a moment, his gaze lingered there, eyes on the twisted sheets that told the story of how he’d hardly slept. How could he? The empty bed did nothing for him, and without Lily’s warmth next to him, he’d moved to the couch and settled in for a long night of channel surfing.

But that was about to change.

He’d come to a few hard realizations over the last few days, one being that he couldn’t shut out the people who cared for him when he himself shut down. Jake and Cain were giving him space mainly because it was their status quo whenever Mac lost it. But he was kinda over that now.

He also realized that his mother was never going to change. She was always going to choose the bastard she’d married over herself and her kids. Mac wasn’t real sure where he stood with that. He loved his mother, but he was so disappointed in her choices that it hurt. But who was he to judge? She obviously loved Ben Draper, and even though it was a twisted and screwed-up kind of love, it was all she had.

She just happened to love Ben more than anyone or anything else, including herself, and if you asked Mackenzie, that was really sad.

Mackenzie also knew that he needed to stop using the bottle to escape. Shit, it’s not like it fixed anything other than maybe making him forget for a little while.

But maybe he was done forgetting. Maybe he was done avoiding. Maybe he just needed to deal with his shit once and for all, and move the hell on.

Mac slid into his truck and felt lighter the closer he got to Crystal Lake. In less than ten minutes, he’d see Lily, and right now it was the only thing getting him through.

He had some things he wanted to say to her, an idea that had taken root and hadn’t let go. An idea that had come to him somewhere between that last sip of Jack and that first light of dawn.

He wanted her. He wanted her badly.

He thought that maybe he even loved her. Him. Mackenzie Draper, who had never allowed himself to love another person. Not in that way. And sure, he was man enough to admit it scared the crap out of him, but after the last few days, he knew that he didn’t want to go it alone, not anymore.

And he was hoping she would consider moving to New York City to be with him.

When he pulled into the ballpark the first thing he saw was her car. The second thing he saw was her.

And suddenly everything was right in his world.

Mackenzie barely cut the engine before he was out the door and striding toward her. He didn’t say anything. He just scooped her into his arms and pulled her close to him. So close that he could feel her heartbeat. So close that he felt the air swoosh out of her lungs as she nestled against him.

So close that that elusive thing he’d been searching for—peace—finally washed over him.

“Boston,” he said but had to take a second because that big-ass lump that was in his throat made it hard to speak. He sank his fingers into her hair, loving the way she melted into him, and when he finally had his shit together, he spoke.

“Are we good?” God, so inadequate, but it was all he had right now.

She nodded. “We’re good.”

“I’m sorry I was such an asshole.”

“It’s okay,” she murmured against his chest. “Really. I know you needed your space.”

He yanked his head back because he needed her to see the truth. “No, Lily. I don’t need space anymore. I need you.” He brushed his mouth across hers. “I need you so badly that I can’t think straight.”

He cupped her chin and kissed her thoroughly. He kissed her until his head spun and the chorus of catcalls and whistles penetrated his little bubble.

Reluctantly, he dragged his mouth away and rested his forehead against hers.

“I missed you.”

“Me too,” she said softly before nudging him. “But you have a ball game to coach.” She was silent for a moment, her eyes misty. “We’ll talk later.”

“Damn right we will.”

She walked him to the dugout, and then he watched as she made her way over to Becca, who sat alone in the stands. Mac’s mother wasn’t around, which surprised him—she hadn’t missed any of the ball games yet, though he supposed she was still hurt and pissed at him.

The boys were tossing the ball around, and Cain clapped Mac on the shoulder. “You want to do the infield warm-up?”

He nodded. “Sure.” This was good. This was normal, and normal was what he needed right then. Mac slid his hand into his ball glove before striding onto the field and calling for his infield.

He glanced back once more, his eyes on Lily, and felt that strange sensation fill his chest again. It was hot and squishy and so damn sweet that he had to look away because something hot and wet pricked the corners of his eyes.

Holy. Hell. There was no room for a pussy out on the field.

He cleared his throat, grabbed a bat, and headed to home plate.

***

The game was going well until about the fifth inning. Liam gave up three hits, and the team found themselves down by two runs with the bases loaded, no outs, and the opposing team’s heavy hitter at the plate.

Mac could tell that his nephew was getting frustrated, so he signaled a time-out and walked over to the mound.

Liam’s head was lowered, and he kept digging at the pitcher’s plate with his foot.

“Hey, buddy. Are you still feeling loose? How’s your arm?”

Liam shrugged. “It’s okay.”