I knew that voice. That rough draft of
Scottish, light on accent but heavy on culture. "
What are you waiting
for?"
Okay Duncan, your words pushed me to
make a choice and so I made it
. Cocooned in the
wolf's mind, a throne of mindless need and nature's angry absolution, I sat and
pondered the reason behind his actions. I was not so far gone that I hadn't
recognised his lilted brogue.
What game are you playing Scot?
Regardless, his words had forced a reaction
from me and my beast. She knew the way, the smell a distinctive map to his
marked end. Even buried deep within as she'd been then, her malformed memories
were in perfect sync with mine. Through crowded woods and barren land she left
tracks of dust and carcasses of wildlife.
It was perhaps eight hours drive from the
building I'd left Carver and Sam arguing in. My wolf made it in two. She was an
extraordinarily built machine of speed and endurance, she was not even remotely
tired by the time I saw the sun high above the street I'd once escaped. The
beast paced back and fore within the tree line surrounding the neighbourhood.
The very same wood I'd run to so few weeks ago.
She sniffed high in the air, sorting scents
and discarding ones not relevant. His scent was stale in the wind and she
settled down to watch and wait, a narrowed focus reminiscent of army snipers,
comfortable to endure hours of staring at the same point, just for that one
moment when the target appears in her sight-line.
I'm sure Carver was already on his way. In
fact I doubt he was all that far behind me. I was angry at his lie by omission,
I assume he had a reason not to tell me about his father, but it still didn’t
bode well for the future. I hoped when he finally appeared that he would remember
his promise, this day in hell would be all mine.
I wonder if he knew I was coming, if he
could feel my seething animal from miles away.
I wonder if he'd run, if he'd try to escape
his long awaited fate.
I wonder if my animal would finally be
satisfied, if the human wallowing in memories of sin would become something
else from bathing in blood.
I wonder if this was really the end. If, my
ever growing database of people who committed crimes against my person, would
suddenly be halted by this one act.
In all my honesty inside my own mind I was
well aware that not all sat right within me. Product of heinous deeds or not,
my psychosis was all my own. A fully functioning, unstable lunatic.
I smiled within my wolf, I think I was
somewhat okay with it.
Oh look.
I nudged the animal from her amusement with
my assessment.
He came home.
Blood red bled through the beast's
glittering gold. A rumble thundered from her deep chest. She crept as a hunter,
stalking the prey who made his way slowly up the driveway. Stiffness in his
side from where his stitches must be pulling. Evidently without a born wolf in
his possession, his healing was human in its sluggishness. My wolf snarled as
she stalked closer still, keeping hidden within the season's sparse trees, he
would be able to heal faster in her presence and she didn't like the thought;
that he would be taking more from her without her consent.
He entered the house, a look around the
deserted streets, perhaps he could indeed feel those swirling emotions. She
stepped forward almost revealing herself in the open, before I pulled her back
and redirected her to the back of the house. The small wall protecting the
building was laughable in its ability to keep her out. She leapt the seven foot
wall with plenty of clearance and landed softly in the grass trampled and
wilted with frost.
Her entrance was stealthy enough to creep
up on even seasoned warriors, and yet, when I looked up at the glass patio
door, I saw him waiting with a smile stretched wide on his face. I glared at
the man opening the door and stepping outside, his joy at my appearance
obvious.
"I knew you'd come."
I snorted through sensitive nostrils and my
wolf threw a growl in with it.
He peered at me for a moment before
throwing a slip of cloth my way.
"Would you like to change?"
I sniffed at the cloth and realised it to
be the silk nightie I had always been forced to wear. My wolf roared at the
offending material and sunk sharp teeth into the silk, tearing it into pieces
so small, it would never be able to be returned to its previous state. She spat
the last piece of cloth put of her mouth and bared her teeth at the man on the
patio. His smile was bright and white, a mouth full of sharks teeth.
"No?" He chuckled, "maybe
something else then." He raised his hands in surrender.
I looked to the nearest neighbour and saw
sweats hanging from the line, they appeared cold and still a little damp but I
would choose that over anything of his. It took me less than a few minutes to
steal the garments and return to his garden human and clothed.
"Mhmm there you are pumpkin. I've
missed you."
I cocked my head at him, standing so calmly
awaiting his demise, he was either incredibly misinformed or idiotic enough to
believe he could beat me now, I was so much more then he could ever hope to be.
I hissed at his smiling face, "
bottom
feeder
."
His smile only grew,"Oh, so she
finally
gets it. I'm so glad, your pain was most delicious."
I wrinkled my brow in disgust,"Yours
will be better."
Daniel laughed and nodded his head,"
I'm already feeding off your rage, you think you can kill me?"
I smirked at his confidence, "I'll bet
I can damage you faster than you can heal." I brought the sparkling knife
to my hand. From its permanent hiding place in my jeans it had been transferred
to be held between wolf teeth, she also appreciated the mastery of steel, such
familiarity with her hardened claws. "Shall we play the game Daniel?"
I followed his retreating form into the
house, his smile never slipped and I began to question his sanity. However much
my presence healed him, however much of me he stole to feed his own habit, I
was Wolf, and therefore I was way above him in the food chain.
He led me to my previous hole. The cell in
which I'd spent four years of my life.
"Easier to get blood out of the
flooring, don't you agree?"
I scowled his way, "Give me the keys
Daniel."
He chuckled at me,"Of course."
and threw the set to my waiting hands.
I turned and left the room locking the door
behind me. I walked to the kitchen, twelve foot on the wooden flooring, a right
turn over the thick rug at the bottom of the stairs and through those heavy
double doors. I scanned the room and picked up one of the chairs and searched
for string in the drawers. I wouldn't need much, they healed quicker when they
fed but their strength was on par with human.
I carried my load back to the room and
locked the door behind me. I wanted no interruptions for quite some time, just
in case Carver turned up.
I set the chair down and indicated he sit
as I unravelled the string. He complied easily and I quirked my brow at him
again. I tied his hands together behind the chair and his feet to the wooden
legs.
For a moment I breathed in the scent of the
empath in front of me. Slightly musty and dank, a little bit decayed in his
wrongness. It calmed the rage inside slightly, that he was finally where I
wanted him to be.
"Are you going to ask Arya? You
know...why all these years? Why you, why your mother?"
I stared at him for several moments, greedy
in my satisfaction, revelling in my prisoner. "No, not yet. I have a few
things to do first."
The first quiver of fear put a twitch in
his eye and my wolf zeroed in on the small betrayal and shivered in
anticipation. I stepped forward and around to his back, his shirt rolled up at
the sleeves to leave his arms bare to my perusal.
"I think I promised myself some
permanent scaring. Why don't we start there?"
It was a rhetorical statement, he had no
choice in this matter, just as I'd had none. I sliced a line down the fleshy
part of his forearm and watched in glee as his blood ran rivers down to his
fingers and turned the white string dark in its trail.
He gasped at the pain and coughed a laugh,
"You know I can feel your joy right? Watch as it closes when I feed from
you."
My annoyance grew as his words were proved
correct and I stood staring at the perfectly clear skin beneath a stain of
crimson. I huffed a breath and sighed." Well, if at first you don't
succeed..... "
I bent towards his arm again and carved
words in the flesh coming apart so easily for the knife in my hand. Words like:
rapist, nonce, filth.
I found my concentration eventually blocked
out the screams from the rigid foulness tied to the chair. He had started so
brave and quickly descended to nothing. His skin still healed but I found as
long as I kept the carving deep to the bone, the scars would remain.
I smiled at my own ingenuity. I felt like
an artist at work, a painter creating a masterpiece. A piece of work people
would talk about for many years to come. I found my enjoyment increased with
every new picture I created and time passed quickly as he laboured under my
surgeon's knife.
Two hours later and I was covered in his
black blood, like tar on my skin it was both revolting to me and made me
famished for more.
I stood from my knelt position, I hadn't
even realised I'd gotten so close to his bleeding form. I looked at his pale
face, he'd lost quite a bit of blood as it pooled on the cement floor beneath
his chair. Curiously a grim smile remained on his face, maybe this was the
curse of empaths; enjoyment even in mutilation.
I unlocked the door and grinned at the man
breathing heavily. "I'll be back soon. Don't worry I won't forget about
you."
I left him staring at me with those shark
teeth obscuring his smile. I skipped down the hallway to the kitchen, straight
to the sink to wash away the evidence of my deeds.
I like this, I think I'll stay awhile.
The
kitchen window above the sink stared out onto the garden. I spent a long time
washing that blood off, a long time removing stains that sank into my skin. It
was a metaphor for how I constantly felt; a sponge that had absorbed so much
corruption, now scrubbing furiously to be rid of all that contamination.
I
felt marginally cleaner once I was done, not even close to how I'd hoped to
feel. Maybe no matter what, I could never attain that pre-Daniel state, I could
not erase four years with soap and water. I sighed at the raw redness of my
fingers. I'd sit for awhile and then return to the cell, today I would finish
this.
Finally...unequivocally...without remorse...
finish this.
As
I debated my next move at that sink I looked up at a movement in the garden, a
flash that caught my eye, a large figure that interrupted my thoughts and
stopped my heart.
Shit.
An
eight and a half foot wolf stood in the garden. Grass beneath it's feet
flattened to nothing after failing to hold such weight. Seething anger returned
my stare, evident in the strained muscles standing out through its toughened
skin. The panting breath heaving it's chest in a parody of the normal bodily
function, the teeth bared in an open, gaping mouth running with saliva. The
trembling hold it seemed to have on its stance, stilled of movement and yet
constantly appearing as if it were one second from leaping forward.
He
remained glaring at me and I knew his expectations. He wanted me to leave the
house and explain my actions.
But
I had a man tied up in the cell.
I
neither had the inclination to explain nor did I feel like sharing my kill
right now. I huffed at the wolf staring at me, obviously becoming more agitated
the longer I stayed inside. I turned the tap off, finally dried my hands and
walked to the patio doors, hoping the smell of blood would be faint enough for
him to ignore.
With
a hand on the door I paused, long enough to hear a furious growl from the
garden. I sighed again and closed my eyes as I opened that door, feeling as if
all my hard work was rather quickly going right down the drain. He took a step
forward as I came to stand within a few feet of him. That snarling face a mask
of pure rage that hid the hurt deep within. I'm sure he wondered why I'd run,
maybe thought I was running from him.
But
I wasn't. I didn't run from Carver, I ran to finish this before it consumed any
more of me, maybe so I could finally move forward without something weighing so
heavily that it pulled me back. He wouldn't understand that right now though,
not in this form, not when the animal had taken over.
Black and white, no
shades of grey.
"I
didn't run from you."
The
roar he responded with blew my hair back with its force, I winced at the sound,
hoping the neighbours were either out or assumed it was a rolling weather
front.
"I
didn't, I had something to do, you need to trust me in this."
His
mouth twisted in a snarl, the huge head cocking to each side as it leaned in
towards my face. Obsidian eyes flashed as he stepped closer still. I kept my movements
as still as possible, he wouldn't hurt me even in this form, but I didn't want
to provoke the beast any more than I already had.
"I'll
come back, I promise, I just need to finish something."
It
was completely the wrong thing to say. Maybe insinuating that he should leave,
maybe that I wasn't returning with him. It pushed him further over the edge.
The wolf was in full control and the man within wasn't even attempting to take
the reigns.
His
huge arms lifted me up in the air, a grip of steel I had no hope of breaking. I
was brought into his embrace, one of possession and capture. A hold of chains I
was envious of for their ability to keep me contained.
His
gaze locked on my shoulder, that perfect position to wear his mark. The place
that would show everyone, me included, that I belonged to him. A mark of
absolute proof, a scar for him and only him.
I
struggled in his arms, a look of dawning horror taking over my usual
emotionless expression.
"No!
Don't you do this.. Not like this Carver!"
He
ran a large hand over my hair, one arm large enough to fully encase me in his
hold. He soothed the wriggling mate in his arms, as if attempting to calm a
startled animal. His mouth however, moved ever closer, those teeth sharp and
readied.
"I
won't forgive you Carver, not ever.
Don't
take my choice." I
whispered my words to the beast, my last attempt to change the course we were
currently on.
He
paused for a moment, maybe the shake in my voice turned the wolf's attention.
Maybe the tears gathering in my eyes and obscuring my vision. Maybe it was my
words, that they were nothing but absolute truth. I would not forgive.
Black and white.
The
hand on my hair tightened and carefully nudged my head to the side. My animal
dropped her claws, raging underneath my skin, contained in arms of binding
silver she fought where she could. Her claws burst from my finger tips and I
tapped them against his skin. Tough as leather, soft as wool, I let him
understand that I would not go meekly. That he would have wounds as well, he
would not come out of this scar-less.
Lateral
incisors pierced my skin as I pierced his with ten knives of serrated intent.
Blood
ran down my shoulder.
Blood
ran down my hands.
Tears
ran down my face.
I
felt the intrusion without restraint, no soothing words of encouragement, no
distraction from the pain. This man had mated me in wolf form, and I felt the
full extent of his possession. There would not be a wolf alive that would
mistake this mark. I was mated and I belonged to the Captain.
A
grunt of pain left the wolf's mouth as my claws retracted from his sides only
to dig in again at a different point, I would leave hundreds of tiny scars for
this one injustice. His teeth pulled out of my skin and I gasped at the pain
throbbing from the marks he'd left. His tongue swiped at the flowing blood and
I cringed at the feeling. My body became limp in his hold, his saliva working
it's way through my blood, changing and evolving what had been it's structure
since conception. My eyes fluttered closed and I saw the arms around me reshape
to human skin and soften to human flesh. A deep husky groan left the man's
throat as I blinked at that beautiful face.
His
eyebrows crinkled into a frown. "Arya?"
My
own crinkled in return as I felt my claws recede and my Wolf waver and stumble
inside me, a fumbling animal that rolled around as if drunk. I forced my focus
on those black eyes, once so perfect to me, now hidden behind an act of
villainy that I would not absolve.
"Never,"
my voice faltered as my brain shut down, whispered words on the quiet wind.
"Never forgive you this."
His
voice was broken in its reply, it failed to move my shattered heart."I'm
sorry cherry, so sorry."
My
eyes shut on his crumpled face. This would be the face I dreamed about, the
face that haunted me even in my restful sleep of mated female.
I
returned to consciousness somewhere near the farmhouse. I could smell Sam’s
cooking and hear the dogs claws clipping on the tiled flooring. I was in
Carver's arms being carried as if I were a child. I felt the normal tingles I
knew were only from his touch, I felt the strength contained so precariously in
his human skin and I felt the fuzzy, lingering tug of anger and betrayal that
was beginning to fester in my chest. I heard Sam’s footsteps as he descended
the porch and two unhappy growls from the mastiffs that followed. I heard a
third person somewhere behind Sam but I didn't recognise the tread. I tried so
hard to open my eyes but they refused to obey my commands.
"Ahh
boy, watcha done?" Sam’s voice was a soothing balm in my melancholic
state.
Carver's
rumble disturbed any comfort I found in the old man's presence. "Don’t
Sam. I made her mine, she ran from me."
I
heard Sam’s exasperated huff."Did ya think ta ask? 'cos I can' imagine she
be happy' bout it."
Carver
growled again,"She. Ran."
"Dun
ya talk ta me like tha' boy, ya done wrong and ya know ya have. You be lucky
she forgive ya, and it be all ya own fault."
A
deep tenor broke through Sam’s melody and I startled slightly at the voice.
"What have you done son?"
Carver
growled once more, I was happy with how irate he sounded. "Please don't
start father, she ran from me."
I
heard Sam step forward and a rustle as his clothes moved."Give her ta
me."
Carver
only clenched me tighter in his arms."Dun pretend like she goin' ta wanna
wake up ta your face, ya made ya bed now suffer in it."
I
felt a sigh as he forced his arms to give my body up. My muscles instantly
relaxed as I felt Sam’s arms take over from Carver.
"I'll
stay wit' her, suggest ya make yourself scarce for a while, give me a chance ta
hide her knife."
Fraser
huffed a laugh and stepped towards Carver. "Come on we'll go on a
run."
I
felt Sam’s easy sway as he carried me into the house and up the stairs. The bed
in the room was soft and comfortable and smelt like Sam. I appreciated him not
taking me to the room I'd been in, it was too close to Carver's room and too
many memories of how relaxed I had been and how much of that fragile trust he'd
ploughed through.
"Know
ya can hear me girlie." Sam’s sigh was full of words I wish I could say if
only my voice would return.
"I'm
sorry he did tha', he shoulda never done it withou' ya agreement. Ya wan', I
can get my gun and blow a hole righ' through tha' Captain?"
My
lips twitched at his words and I heard his deep chuckle, a sound that, here in
my own private little world that shut out all the people I couldn't deal with
at the moment, was a touch that made my heart thump again, that forced that
deadened organ to pump and show its still living state.
Sam’s
soft steps whispered towards the doorway once more. "I'll go get sum
whiskey for when ya wake up. Dun go anywhere now...."
His
little chuckle made me frown, even in my half sleep, drifting along on a cloud
of mistrust and burning anger, I managed to find his jokes somewhat lacking,
but comforting nonetheless.