Authors: Massimo Russo
“Celine! How could you? He’s our child. I thought you were happy.”
“No, Paul. I wasn’t happy at all. I’ve never been happy. I’ve never had your will-power. I’ve never been able to accept this fate. I cursed it for crossing my path. My strength has always been in taking revenge. I couldn’t live with pain in my heart. And if you think about it, neither could you!”
“You’re lying! I loved Will. What’s happened to you?”
“I loved him as well, Paul. That’s one of the reasons why I decided to free him.”
“You haven’t freed him! You’ve killed him! He wanted to live!”
“How can you think that? There was such desperation in his eyes! I saw his suffering every day – every day as he looked to me for the help I could never give him!”
Tommy abruptly put a stop to the family quarrel.
“Let’s postpone your squabbling to some other time. Paul, tell me what Will wrote.”
“You don’t seem to get it, asshole. He wrote go screw yourself.”
“Right. Just as I thought. Let’s see if the idea of being left on your own makes you change your mind.”
With the speed born of military training and the ferocity of a lion seizing its prey, Tommy grabbed Celine by the throat and pointed his gun at her temple.
“Let’s see if I’ve got it now. Do you mean to tell me that you can’t remember what your son wrote?”
The woman tried to wriggle away, but his hold on her neck was too tight to fight.
“Let her go!”
“Tell me what I want to know!”
“I can’t remember! I read O’Neal’s name and that’s all! Leave her alone!”
“OK. Let’s see if you’re lying.”
He turned the gun on the doctor and shot her without thinking twice. She gave a deep sigh as she was felled by the force of gravity, the enemy of those who lose control of their own actions. Celine and Paul were frozen, the taste of fear in their mouths at the sight of such determination on the part of their captor. They didn’t have time to make a sound or change their minds before Tommy pointed his gun at the other woman in the room, who was still alive only to show them death.
“The next bullet will be for her!”
“No! I’ve told you what you wanted to know! I swear! I swear! Nothing else was written on that sheet of paper. My son never wrote anything else. He woke up and wrote that name. Let her go! Please!”
“What does it mean? How could he know that name? Did you mention it?”
“No! He never listened to anyone unless it was about math or if someone offered him a drink of chocolate. He’d never heard that name. It didn’t mean anything to him until he saw the prime numbers. Then he went mad. His brain must have elaborated such a complex formula that that was the only way to write it down. It’s the truth! You’ve got to talk to O’Neal. It’s the only way of knowing what it means. Let us go!”
“All right. I’ll talk to O’Neal.”
He took his hand away from Celine’s neck and she began to suck in air. She threw herself into her husband’s arms, begging forgiveness for an action that had brought only pain.
“Paul, forgive me! What have I done? I’ve killed our child! May God damn me!”
“Celine, honey. I’m not the one who must forgive you. May God take pity on your soul. Will didn’t deserve to die. He wanted to live.”
The woman began to wail as her husband sentenced her to a life of paying for endless sins in the depths of her soul.
Tommy watched the pitiful scene of two human beings unworthy of living. He had always thought that whoever couldn’t reconcile his or her actions didn’t deserve redemption, but he had made an agreement and the politician in him had to honor it. In politics, however, most promises are only made as a means to an end. He moved away from the couple and took the phone from the desk. The person at the other end answered immediately.
“This is Queen. Bring the professor.”
He hung up without waiting for a reply and turned to look at Paul and Celine. He had decided to keep his word and let them go. But now he moved towards them with the natural manner of one who has power in his blood, pointed his gun and shot them without waiting to hear the useless protestations of two souls who didn’t deserve his pity. He couldn’t afford to leave any traces in his pursuit of the all-powerful throne.
Chapter 33
The chocolate was hot and Jonathan immediately saw the beneficial effect in his grandson’s eyes as it warmed his heart as well as his body. Every time he looked at him, he felt a deep tenderness. He desperately wanted to do something to save that small angel, but he could only humor his whims; hot chocolate was a good start.
“Grandpa? Do you believe in fate?”
The old man was caught unawares and almost choked. The coughing fit gave him time to collect himself.
“What? What do you know about fate?”
“I’ve always wondered what we’re doing here, on earth. And I was wondering if you asked yourself the same question.”
“Will! You’re ten years old. You should be talking to me about the game you want for Christmas!”
“Games are no fun anymore. I prefer reading and thinking.”
A shiver slid down Jonathan’s back so slowly he imagined a furrow being traced along his backbone. He thought about why such a small child would waste time looking for answers to questions that even he failed to understand after a whole lifetime. Then he tried to humor him by satisfying his thirst for knowledge.
“And what conclusions have you come up with, my lad?”
“Well, I think that our purpose is to look for happiness.”
“And have you succeeded? Are you happy?”
“I think so. I love Mom and you. And today I even met my Dad. What about you, Grandpa? Are you happy?”
Jonathan’s surprise turned to anguish. He had always searched for an answer to that, albeit in vain. He never imagined he would hear his grandson ask that question; he was so young that all he had worried about until a short time ago was his mother’s milk. Now, there he was, sitting opposite, his eyes shining and brimming with curiosity, drinking hot chocolate and searching the eyes of an old man for a serenity that, unknowingly, he already possessed. What was happening was the exact opposite of what should happen: young Will was teaching old Jonathan a short lesson on life.
“My happiness is tied to yours. And if you’re happy, well, so am I.”
“You miss Grandma, don’t you?”
“Of course I do. I miss her more than sunshine on dark days; more than water in droughts. But her absence has brought you. If she were still here, you wouldn’t exist.”
“So fate made us meet?”
“It’s an odd point of view, but, yes, I think fate had a hand in it.”
“And what about the devil? Do you think he exists?”
“Will! What kind of questions are these?”
“Come on, Grandpa! We have to talk about it sooner or later. And I don’t think there’s time to put it off any longer.”
The child gazed at him with an inquiring look on his face, waiting for a reaction to his words. He knew his grandfather hadn’t been expecting it. Jonathan realized that the person before him was much older than ten.
“Grandpa? Do you think I don’t know I’m sick? I’m a big boy now. You should have been ready for these questions. I listened to the conversations you and Mom had. I got it a couple of years ago, when you took me to the hospital and Mom hugged me after she’d spoken to the doctors. Don’t worry, I know what’s going to happen to me.”
Jonathan faltered, taken aback by the boy’s understanding and gravity in the face of such delicate matters. A tear rolled down his face; he was overcome by an emotion too powerful to control.
“How do you know what will happen to you?”
“I dreamed it. Don’t you know that our dreams are connected to the place we come from?”
“Which place?”
“Heaven. You often dream of Grandma, don’t you? You don’t really believe your mind is creating false images, do you? It’s Grandma coming to visit you, bringing the comfort you need to carry on living. I always dream of her too. She talks about you a lot.”
Jonathan’s tears ran down his face like mountain brooks.
“Why are you crying? Aren’t you glad Grandma comes to visit me?”
“Yes, my lad. Of course I’m glad. You’re a sweet boy.”
“I can’t wait to meet her. In my dreams she’s so beautiful.”
“Why do you say that? You have a life waiting for you. You mustn’t talk like that!”
“I’m not afraid of dying. I know what my fate will be.”
“Stop it! One way or another we’ll save you. I won’t allow anything to happen to you!”
“You can’t fight what you don’t know or what your mind refuses to accept. Fate isn’t here to harm us, but to offer choices: it’s up to us to take one path or the other.”
“First fate made my son sick and now you. How can you ask me to accept it?”
“It’s called faith.”
“Faith? It sounds as if the books you’ve read have explained plenty, my young fellow. But I think real life is very different from books.”
“The books only showed me a way. But without faith, without believing, they’re just black marks on white pages.”
“Your mother wouldn’t like hearing you say that!”
“Why not? Soon I’m going to talk to her as well. I like talking.”
“Well, I didn’t doubt that for a minute. But you can’t believe you know everything. You’re still just a child and you’re scaring me.”
“It’s human nature to be scared of the unknown. But we also have boundless imagination. Haven’t you ever tried to imagine what heaven’s like? Haven’t you ever wondered what happens when we leave our bodies?”
“Well, I ...”
“I wonder every day. And I’ve come up with a theory.”
“Let’s hear it then.”
“Really? It doesn’t bug you to talk about it?”
“I’ll admit I’m a bit dazed and confused by all this understanding of yours. But as it happens, I haven’t got much else to think about, so we can stay here all day, if you want.”
“Cool! I think we come into this world for a purpose and we have to overcome lots of obstacles that we create for ourselves before we get here. We always have two alternatives for every problem; it’s up to us to choose one of the two. The choice is forced on us by fate when its role is disrupted by an evil power, which, if it succeeds, inevitably leads to failure. When this happens, we reach the opposite goal instead, and our soul tumbles into the abyss to wander around in the depths of darkness.”
Jonathan sat motionless for so long it seemed almost an eternity. He wanted to die of shame before such enlightened ideas. Episodes of his life flashed before him as they tried to relate to such an obvious line of reasoning. He thought he was going crazy, listening to an angel giving instructions on how life should be lived. He was speechless. Will continued once he saw his grandfather was riveted by his arguments.
“Take Grandma for instance. She chose to give her life for Dad and lose her own, which in any case would have been full of despair for not saving her son. Dad on the other hand, chose to look for answers he’s never found and apparently lost his faith. But now I’ve met him, I know he never lost it deep down. His poems prove that.”
Jonathan gazed at him with the devotion of a pupil gazing at his master, dazzled by so much knowledge and insight. He would have liked to ask where he had got all those ideas from and who had taught him to reason in such a profound way, but the only thing he could do emphasized his full acquiescence. For the first time in ages, he was looking at love shining in the eyes of a child who had the courage of a lion and the imagination of a genius.
“I love you, Will. You know that, right?”
“Love you too, Grandpa. Are you OK?”
“I’m always OK when I’m with you.”
“Now will you tell me if you believe in the devil?”
The child’s smile was instinctive, almost like the sensation Jonathan felt. The strangeness and the child’s determination to get an answer to that awkward question had undermined his confidence.
“Why do you want to talk about the devil when you’ve just lifted me onto the highest rung on the life analysis ladder?”
“Because you have to consider everything to get the full picture.”
“All right then. This is the first thing I think I’ve understood properly since you started talking. I think you have to keep well away from the devil.”
“I think you have to face him so that you’re not caught unprepared.”
“What do you mean?”
“Imagine you’re standing in front of a door and someone you don’t know offers you a load of money. So much that you could buy anything you wanted. But this money comes from a lot of bad deals and caused the death of a lot of people. If you open that door, you’ll meet justice and it’ll ask you to return it all and you’ll live a life of poverty with a clean conscience. But, if you open another door, you’ll have the chance to live without anyone ever finding out that you were given the money. What would you do?”
“I think I’d choose the door of justice.”
“You think or you’re sure?”
“Well... I think I’m sure.”
“And if I said that besides the money you’d receive all the power in the world? If there’s any doubt at all, even a tiny one, then the devil’s weaving his web. That’s why, if a person’s really ready to face him, he wouldn’t hesitate for one instant before choosing the door of justice.”
This comprehensive analysis chilled even the room. That child was too good to be true. As if he had received instructions from God.
“Will. One thing I’m sure of – you could teach a lot of people. Including yours truly.”
“Really? I’d like to teach if I could.”
“I think it’s time you gave your little big brain the chance to rest. What say we go home?”
“I don’t think my fate will let me.”
“Enough of that talk now.”
Jonathan tried to stand up but was stopped by the heat of a boiling hot drink carelessly spilled on him by a waitress who was passing their table at that precise moment.
“Beg your pardon, sir! I’m so sorry!”
She tried to wipe Jonathan down, but he stopped her.
“It doesn’t matter, miss. I’ll clean myself up in the restroom. It was an accident.”
“Forgive me! I really am sorry.”
“I said it doesn’t matter. These things can happen. Will, stay here. I’ll be right back.”