Authors: Massimo Russo
Chapter 39
He stared at the centre of the room for a good while, conscious of the voice of fate whispering in his ear yet again that it had arrived on time. His mind was a void, because all thought had been erased for a moment by an absolute truth. It was all clear. Norman had reached the final choice that would lead him to the freedom he had been searching for all his life, following in his mother’s footsteps. He was weighed down by anxiety thanks to the extraordinary events that no one could have envisaged. His mouth was as dry as a bone and his powers of reasoning had been swept away like a grain of sand in a tornado. He had read the nameplate on the desk in front of him at least a hundred times, in a hundred different ways, but each time he felt the same dismay: Ryan A. Mr. O’Neal. It was the name of the man he was looking for, the one he would have to kill in order to steal his heart and give it to his ailing son as compensation for the theft he himself had been the victim of. He had never had a proper plan; he only knew that he would look the man in the eye as he listed his crimes and then sacrifice him. The naivety of this was counterbalanced by the pain that the thought of watching Will die had already caused. He compared the deed to be done with the survival instincts of any animal, but he didn’t care; he would do anything to save Will, he would even go to prison, even die. The idea of dying had never seemed so real as in that moment. He turned again to the mirror, ignoring his elderly self and focusing on what had previously hit him like a fist: laeN’O .rM .A nayR – Lae Norman Ayr. The person he was looking for was himself, had always been himself. He floundered, as if he were struggling to wake up from a nightmare, with nothing to grab onto, dazed by an unpalatable truth. He looked into the old man’s eyes in a mirror that had seemed to be his friend until a few hours ago. In exchange, the same sardonic smirk he had received that morning grinned back at him, although it left a very different taste in his mouth.
“Hey, Norman. You didn’t expect that, did you?”
“Well, maybe not in such an explicit way. The truth never announces its arrival, otherwise it would never manage to surprise anyone.”
“Yeah. So what does all this mean?”
“That you’re through running away from your life and chasing dreams that don’t belong to you. You’ve finally woken up.”
“But I wasn’t asleep. I was only trying to ...”
“Don’t lie to yourself again, Norman.”
“You’re right, but at least allow me to feel a bit confused.”
“No sweat. I’ll recap for you if you want.”
“Enlighten me, even though I already know what you’re going to say.”
“OK. You were given your life by the person who loved you more than anyone. You, on the other hand, didn’t have the courage to live it, because you were convinced you didn’t deserve to live at someone else’s expense, and you hid behind a guilt that was never yours. Then you found another woman to love, but you couldn’t stop blaming yourself. So you tried to satisfy your material dreams, turned your back on those you already had, and shut them up in a book full of words so that you wouldn’t forget them. Then your dark side intervened, hoodwinking your love and making you see the desire to change things. But you completely lost sight of your original perspective and only focused on the temptations offered by the money that tried to buy your soul. Finally, as happens with people who are merely dazzled, you thought about how to start seeing again and you broke free.”
“That’s quite a comprehensive summary. It’s been going on for a long time though.”
“Sometimes you can be dazzled for your whole life.”
“And now I’ve lost everything, what’s going to happen?”
“You know what you’ve got to do.”
He looked down, aware that this would probably be his last conversation. He went over everything that had happened since he got up. All the coincidences and encounters made sense now. Some had wanted to give him the chance to choose, and others had tried to take advantage of his weakness.
Suddenly, everything he had ever thought sprang to mind: fate didn’t seem such a bastard anymore, unlike the devil, who had seemed a pleasant, extremely charming sort, and who surrounded himself with beautiful women to fuel the desire of the soul he wanted to seize. Norman realized that even the devil had a fate of his own, just like all the inhabitants of the earth and those who want to rule them and possess their minds and souls. Now he had a clearer picture of the situation and it was endorsed by the faith that had never deserted him, despite all his efforts to rid himself of it.
“There’s a place we all come from and will return to, unless the devil manages to beat us and take us with him.”
“That’s an excellent interpretation of life, Norman. So, have you decided what to do?”
“I’ve decided to believe, Norman. And what are you going to do?”
“I’ll follow you, whatever you do and whichever path you take. I’ve always had faith in you.”
He lifted the telephone and called his fate, ready to settle the score once and for all.
Chapter 40
“Why are we going this way? My house is the other way.”
“I want to show you something. It’s a surprise. Do you like surprises?”
“Yes, but I want to go back to Grandpa now. Can’t we come here later?”
“It’s a surprise that won’t wait. It’s about the birds in the park.”
“What’s the matter with them? Are they sick?”
“You talk to them, don’t you?”
“Yes, I like doing that.”
“There’s a nest with babies right in the middle of those trees. Have you ever seen a bird’s nest?”
“No! Are we really going to see them?”
“Sure. It won’t take long. It’s right here.”
“Cool! I really like birds. If Grandpa’s feeling better, he could come with us.”
“Here’s what we’ll do: we’ll go and see the nest and then we’ll go and get your Grandpa and give him a surprise.”
“Yeeees!”
Will thought he had made a good bargain. Five minutes more or less wouldn’t make any difference. He took hold of his new friend’s hand again and they walked towards the trees.
“What do you like about birds, Will?”
“I like that they can fly. I think it’s a great way to be free. I’d love to be like them.”
As he listened to him, Alex felt an affection for the boy that he had never before experienced. It was an emotion that could vanquish all the thoughts he had accumulated as a legacy from his father. He wished he could be like Will and feel all the magic he felt.
“Do you like birds?”
“Yes. They remind me of a friend I had when I was young.”
“Where is he now?”
“He went away.”
“Is he coming back?”
“No, Will. He isn’t coming back.”
“Why don’t you go to him?”
“I will, very soon.”
“I’m going to visit my Grandma soon. I think she’s gone to the same place as your friend. Do you miss him?”
“A lot. We were always together, just like you and me now.”
“Is it far to the nest?”
“No, Will. It’s down there, at the end of this path. Where that tree is.”
Alex pulled Will along, then stopped to check that no one was following. He gauged the boy’s curiosity to make sure it was whetted enough to follow him willingly and thus fulfill his blind desire to feel once more the urges his father had so cruelly crushed in him. He took Will’s hand again and a few steps further on, stopped in front of bushes that were so dense it was impossible to see through them.
“Why have we stopped? I thought it was that tree down there.”
“No, Will. We’re here.”
“Where are the birds? I can’t hear them cheeping.”
“You’ll hear them in a minute, my darling. You’ll hear them in a minute.”
His face became transformed. Will began to understand that the eyes of the person he thought was a friend concealed something he didn’t want to discover. Alex put his arms round him and hugged him tightly.
“Be careful. You’re hurting me, Alex.”
His words didn’t have the effect he had hoped for. Alex had no intention of letting him go. His inclinations and repressed desires wouldn’t allow him to. He wanted more than anything in the world to be happy and find a little of the peace he had been deprived of as a child by a man who was so vicious he had deserved to die. Now he had found the way to obtain this, he didn’t intend to give it up. He would follow that path and leave behind all the suffering and bad things that had been heaped on him. He would be true to the difference in his nature that was trivial to most people, but so terrible to a father who was incapable of understanding and accepting. He would strive to give all his love to the boy who reminded him of the first and only love of his life, the one that fate had decided to take away from him. He would finally answer fate back, looking it in the eye and paying it back in its own coin by sacrificing the innocence of an angel to compensate for all his pain.
Chapter 41
“Hello, Dad. We can save Will. I know all about his illness.”
“Norman! They’ve taken him! Norman! Oh God!”
“Dad! Calm down! Who have they taken? What’s happened?”
“They’ve kidnapped Will. We were sitting in the bar and now he’s gone!”
A desperate wail choked off Jonathan’s words.
“Dad, tell me where you are!”
Norman could only hear his father’s labored breathing as if he were having a panic attack.
“Dad! Dad!”
“Norman ... I can’t breathe ...”
He heard a dull thud and people shouting before he was cut off. He was alone again, pushed backward by yet another unexpected occurrence, just when he had decided that the time had come to take back his life. It felt as if a battle was underway between beings that were beyond the bounds of human comprehension. Norman had the feeling that he was the prize at stake. All his life he had chased things that turned to smoke before his eyes. Every time he tried to get out of the tunnel he was in and act on a decision, he found himself catapulted back inside, like a boxer who throws in the towel without taking into account the people who bet on him either to win or lose. He thought his nerves would snap, but then noticed his phone ringing on the desk and took it as a sign of hope. He replied immediately.
“Hello!”
“It’s Tommy Queen. I’ve got a message from Will. Come to the park right away.”
“You bastard! What have you done to my son?”
Queen had hung up without waiting for an answer, indifferent to any kind of response. With no other thought in his head, Norman raced from the room where he had found himself again, and ran toward a future that he would try to save at any price.
Chapter 42
Norman made it to the park in no time at all, spurred by nervous tension. Once again, fate was trying to interfere with his life. He glanced around, looking for a face to match the voice on the phone that had told him there was a message from Will. He could hardly see anything for the fog, which merely emphasized the impediments and limitations of the human eye. He could only make out people’s legs, as if they were a flock of stray animals with no heads and no place to go. In other circumstances, it would have amused him and perhaps given him an idea for a new poem, but he was too busy attempting to calm his heart and its ceaseless clamoring for answers. He looked at his phone for an answer that wasn’t forthcoming. The lack of signal told him it was useless trying to call the person who had summoned him there. Then a voice broke the silence of the place and his mind.
“Good day, Mr. O’Neal.”
Norman spun round. He could have sworn he had never seen that man in his life, but there was something familiar about him nonetheless.
“Where’s Will?”
“You’ll see him in a minute. Follow me.”
Tommy nodded towards the path. Norman couldn’t help thinking that the man’s calm attitude gave him the jitters. He decided it was better not to protest. His son’s life was more important than his desire for details. They approached a bush that marked the beginning of the path.
“This way please.”
They walked half way down the track leading to a giant tree.
“I want to see Will immediately! I have a good deal of money here and I’ll give it to you if you let him go.”
Norman realized the significance of his words only after he had spoken them out loud. Without intending to, he was giving away the only chance of changing his life for ever. It amazed him that he hadn’t thought twice about it. His conscience had made the choice he wouldn’t have had the courage to make. For the very first time, he felt truly alive.
The man turned to him. The sneer on his face made him look domineering and self-confident, and it was obvious he was full of himself. Norman focused less on this abstract observation than the gun Tommy was holding.
“What’s the meaning of this? Where’s Will?”
“I’m shocked that a man in your position would even think of trying to buy off someone like me with money. It’s an insult to my intelligence. Poor Will has gone to a better place, my dear O’Neal, and that’s where you’re about to go as well.”
A shudder eclipsed the hope he had felt until then and transformed it into complete and utter desperation.
“No! Will! Why? What did he do wrong? He was only a child!”
“I find all this concern for a boy in his condition quite astonishing. Nobody could have saved him.”
“Damn you!”
Norman made to lunge at him, but the gunshot stopped him in his tracks. He stood stock-still, sure that it had put an end to any motivation to live a life he had come to understand such a short while ago. His brain, however, over-rode the idea of a finale; the bullet had been aimed at the ground as a warning.
“Before I kill you, Mr. O’Neal, I’d just like to know how come you never realized you had such boundless power. Are you really so naïve?”
“What the devil are you talking about?”
Laughter splintered the seriousness of the situation.
“It’s funny, you know. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. I think there’s some evil god behind all this. You’ve got to admit that I wouldn’t be here otherwise, I’d be getting myself blessed by some invalid bursting with good will.”