Authors: Massimo Russo
“What’s wrong, Norman? Don’t you recognize yourself any more?”
The voice boomed like thunder. Norman jumped, but saw no one when he looked around, only the shadows of an unfamiliar room.
“I’m here.”
The figure of a woman appeared out of the blue. Her features rang a bell and so did the voice that his brain was trying to connect to a timbre he had archived in his memory.
“Who are you?”
“You know who I am.”
Her lovely face had no effect on him. He tried to look into her eyes, but no light shone there. It was almost as if a veil concealed all expression. A suggestion came to him on a whisper. Norman seized on it, even though he didn’t understand its meaning. But that didn’t worry him any longer.
“How did you get in?”
“I’ve always been here, Norman.”
“That’s not true! You’re all trying to make me think I’m mad, but you won’t win!”
“You’re not mad.”
Norman turned back to the mirror in the hope that the woman had removed him from the nightmare he was stuck in, but his aged self was still there before him. He tried to place her in the parallel world he was staring at. There were the lights, the desks, the walls and the rest of the room, all arranged in a mirror image. Everything was identical, except the woman, and there was no sign of her. He turned round again, but it appeared that she had vanished. Impotent rage mixed with the blood boiling in his veins. He burst into tears, sobbing desperately, unable to find any sense in all the madness that surrounded him.
“I am crazy! I’m a lunatic who talks to himself in the mirror and hears voices he recognizes, but can’t see who they belong to!”
“I’m here. You’re not crazy.”
He heard the gentleness in the tone, the soft echo that seemed to be apologizing for interrupting him. But the course of action he took at that moment was of dire importance. He couldn’t afford to delay.
“You don’t exist! Go away!”
“I’m here to bring you the comfort you’ve always craved. I’ve always been here.”
He looked around for her again, but could only hear her voice in his head, repeating the echo of those words.
“I’m here, Norman. I’m inside you. I’ve always been here.”
He began to calm down and his wild sobbing subsided. He had squeezed his eyes shut to close the world out of his life for a moment; a world he didn’t recognize any longer, a world that was making him feel ill by projecting him into a situation he was beginning to abhor. He opened them and saw before him the face of the woman he had met in the park. She was staring at him. She no longer wore the veil. Her face shone and her smile could have captivated anyone who saw it. Her eyes were singularly beautiful and matched the aura surrounding her. Norman noticed she had no arms or legs or chest. It was probably an angel hovering in front of him. When his mind connected the image to the memory that had surfaced, his heart leapt. He trembled from the emotion that flared inside him. He realized he was shaking. It couldn’t be her, but the faith he thought he had lost and the love he felt enveloping him banished all his doubts.
“Mom?”
“Yes, my son.”
“Is it you, Mom? I’m going mad, aren’t I?”
“No, darling. It’s not the first time we’ve chatted together.”
“You’re not really here. You can’t be here!”
“I am here. I’ve always been here.”
Tears sprang from his eyes, revealing the pain he had felt all his life.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m so sorry.”
“You’ve been bearing a pain you should never have felt for far too long. It was never yours and it’s time to free you from it.”
“I can’t. It’s my fault that you’re not here anymore.”
“But I am here. I’m in your head and your heart, always and for ever. Your only fault was trying to forget it and chasing dreams that weren’t yours. But now you understand and you can make it right. There’s a remedy for everything. There’s a memory for every moment. It’s up to us to live each one in the best possible way so that we can relive every instant with joy in our hearts. What I did, I did for you, not against you. I wanted to give you myself so that you could enjoy the blessings this life has given you.”
“I’ve failed, Mom! I’m not worthy! I’ve always lived with remorse for what happened to you.”
“And now you’re free, my darling. It’s time to put a stop to all the notions your mind created to weaken you and the love you have inside.”
“I need help. I feel so alone.”
“You’re not alone; you never have been.”
“Help me, Mom! Why am I here? What should I do?”
“Only you know what you should do. It’s written in your heart.”
“It’s never been my heart. What I feel comes from you.”
“That’s not true. The heart was given to you, but not all the wonderful things you feel. You can’t find that anywhere but inside yourself.”
“Why did the mirror tell a lie?”
“A mirror never lies, you should know that better than anyone. It merely reflects what we are, but in a different dimension. But what we are isn’t only what we see.”
“So I really am old? Why? What does it mean?”
“That you probably wasted your life chasing dreams instead of living those you had.”
“But I wasn’t happy!”
“You weren’t happy or you thought you weren’t?”
“I don’t know, Mom. I’m so confused.”
“There’s a moment in life when normal thoughts return to bring us back to reality. And if you’ve constantly chased dreams, you’ll wake up regretting that you didn’t really live.”
“So it’s all true!”
“The truth is in your heart, in what you feel. What do you see inside yourself?”
“I see that I’d like to change a lot of things I’ve never been able to have. I see that I miss the woman I loved more than any other and pushed away. I see that I’d like to help the son I didn’t even know I had, because he was kept from me.”
“Haven’t you ever wondered why?”
“Probably because I was lost.”
“Where?”
Norman was plunged into panic again. He knew perfectly well that every action has a consequence. If he had sunk this far, the fault was his alone. He had lost Julia and all the love she represented. He had lost his father. He had pursued the idea of ease that a life without responsibilities would bring. He had lost sight of the true sense of
life that had always been his, and instead had written about it on blank pages to give to others. He realized that all those words were a cry for help. To himself. He was filled with shame and an uncontrollable urge to erase everything that had led him to deny his true feelings, those feelings that considered love to be the only possible way of saving himself. With the irony only fate knows how to manipulate, those magical and eternal words had saved countless people he didn’t know existed. Now he could see the bigger picture. Everything seemed clear, except the reason why he was in that room.
“I must save my son. He has the same illness I had.”
“I know.”
“I’ve got to kill a man, Mom. A man I don’t even know who stole everything I wanted to be.”
“Is that what you really want?”
“I don’t know. What I want is to save Will. But I’m too much of a coward to do what’s right.”
“And what is right, Norman?”
“Giving him my life, just as you did for me. That’s what you taught me. Love for one’s neighbour is the greatest and purest love that exists.”
“Then I think you’ve finally understood what I wanted to give you.”
Norman stared at the angel who was trying to help him find the path he should have chosen. He knew now what he ought to do; he only had to decide whether it was what he really wanted. He thought of the money and the temptation to save everything by sacrificing someone else. In any case, he could hardly blame anyone else for trying to take back his life after it had been stolen by an unscrupulous individual who hadn’t even had the courage to ask permission. An epic struggle was going on in his head and its conclusion would change not only his future but his whole family’s.
“Temptation is part of being human, son. It shows how a man can live at a distance from his personal responsibilities. But as with everything that looks easy, other truths are hidden inside, and they’re invisible only to those who don’t want to see them. The challenge isn’t in what you can run from, but in what you can deal with. It doesn’t matter whether you win or lose, only whether you’ve done the right thing. Nobody can teach you that. Nobody can tell you what’s right or wrong. The answer you’re looking for is in your heart; it’s in every thought that runs through your mind, and lingers in the joys or sufferings your choice brings. It’s in your eyes and they never lie about who you really are. If you look at yourself in the mirror and only see the need to escape, then your choice will have been the wrong one. But, if you can see happiness, you’ll know you’re on the right path. Like every act in life, it’s all down to us in the end. Fate is only called upon to show us that we have two options; it’s up to us to choose the correct one, even if evil tries to encourage our apathy. Look deep into your eyes, son. I’m sure you’ll see the path you have to take.”
“Don’t leave me yet, Mom! Please!”
“I’ll never leave you, my beloved son. I’ve never left you. Every time you need me, all you have to do is call me. I’m inside you, as always. I’m in your dreams and you can search for me there to feel my warmth. I’m in your fears and you can take refuge there and find solace. I’m in every single moment when you feel the need to understand who you are.”
The image began to blur and dissolve in the air like fog caressed by the sun.
“No! Please! Mom! Mom!”
Norman tried in vain to put his arms round her. He was alone again, inundated by thoughts that until then he had managed to push into a dark corner with all his regrets. He thought about his mother’s words, a mother his mind had conjured up as a familiar figure to give him comfort. He was aware that he was desperately hoping to be consoled. Even so, he was feeling sensations he hadn’t felt for a long time.
He felt honest emotions that made him believe he really had spoken to something greater than his conscience; something commonly known as faith. The briefcase he was holding brought to mind what Luc had said. He had to make the most important choice of his life. He pondered his mother’s words again and turned round to face himself. What attracted his attention wasn’t the look in those eyes, but the image of something else reflected in the mirror that seemed to be enjoying a chat with fate. His heart froze and he gasped for breath as he stood motionless before an example of absolute perfection. He turned towards the center of the room: at last everything he had lived through since the day began made sense.
Chapter 38
The world, now looking different from how it had appeared only a short while ago, seemed to have adapted itself to the will of those who strived to control it. Victory seemed within reach; all the pieces had been moved into position to checkmate the enemy. Luc contemplated his labors, proud of how everything was working out to his advantage. A short while from now, he would have absolute power, thanks to the collusion of a politician he had successfully manipulated with almost embarrassing ease, despite his reputation. He had never doubted it for a moment. He knew all his adversaries and their capabilities, but this time it was a different matter. Epoch-making battles had been fought for absolute rule, but in this case a war victory was at stake. Dustin wouldn’t succeed in trumping him.
He was waiting for him, certain that he would turn up to drive home his intentions and threaten him, just as he had every time a cycle was coming to a close. He had chosen a different place this time. The Eiffel Tower wasn’t the highest building in the world, but it was certainly one of the most famous and the symbol of a period and a history that the future would remember for a long time. It was no coincidence that Norman Lae, who was about to become instrumental in his next absolute rule, had met Julia during a trip to Paris. Dustin had arranged for them to meet at the top of the monument. Norman had approached her, struck by the lovely girl’s unaffected and gentle manner. It was then that he had begun to write the words that would change and “control” the minds and consciences of most human beings. And it was then that Luc had decided to appropriate that power and use it to hold sway over every single thing. It would be the first step towards seizing something far greater than earthly life.
“You still calculating then, Luc? When are you going to stop being such an optimist?”
“My dear friend, your words have the ring of failure.”
“You think so? Have you seen a sign saying you’ve won? You’ll never be able to control a free mind like Norman’s.”
“You may be right, but things change. You should know that better than anyone.”
“What I do know is that your dirty little game will backfire on you.”
“My skill goes beyond trifles. The day of reckoning has come. I’ve got a nice surprise in store for you and all your friends.”
“Perhaps you haven’t seen the latest developments. Norman has already chosen his path.”
“Not even you can predict the future. The game isn’t over yet. How can you be so sure of winning?”
“I’m not sure, but as I’ve already told you, I can read the hearts of human beings. It’s not the way you hope it is.”
“Men only believe what they see. And if they see that their greatest leader of all time is rotten to the core, then they will be too. That’s how it’s always been.”
“But things have always turned out for the best in the end. Remember your friend Adolf?”
“I’m going to pay you back with interest for your insolence.”
“We’ll see about that, my old friend.”
Dustin vanished into the thin air he had appeared from. Luc was alone. He didn’t feel the icy wind that blew over the city. He didn’t hear the sound of silence. All he could feel was the desire to take revenge on a world that deserved to be paid back in a coin as bleak as the evil thoughts it carried within itself. No one could give a more effective helping hand to that world than him. No one could understand better than him those he already considered his children.