“Wanting to touch you?” I asked, watching him nod in the affirmative. “All the time, but asking permission kind of ruins the moment, and the spontaneity.”
He took a deep breath, his eyes moving from mine to my lips and back up again. It was hard to see what he was feeling when he was being so elusive. I wasn't sure if he was receptive to the idea or not. He wasn't giving me anything.
There was a chance he was thinking things over. This life was still so new to him. I could understand him wanting to explore it all before he made a decision. Even during the week of living in this house, there'd been times when I wasn't being submissive. In retrospect, maybe that's where this change in me had begun. I'd had a taste of being myself, of having someone appreciate the part of me I'd buried for so long. That was if he had appreciated it. Watching him intensely, I wasn't even sure anymore. I couldn't get a thing from him.
“Jared?”
“You have no idea do you?”
“About what, exactly?”
“Kit, as much as I love your submission, and believe me when I say it’s beautiful, it wasn't what or who I fell in love with. The first time I met you, which was almost in this very spot, you spoke to me in a way not many people ever have. You intrigued me.”
“You were pissed off at me.”
“That too.” He grinned, reaching out to cup my face. “I was convinced you were like every other woman, but it didn't add up because you were so rude.”
I grinned back at him, leaning in to brush my lips against his. He'd brought it out in me. The arrogance and anger he'd projected had immediately gotten my back up.
“Then you told me off for making assumptions and marched off like you had a fire lit under you, and I stood there for the longest time just thinking. Thinking about the women I’ve been with, the stereotypical money-grabbing women, the women who were rich but just wanted the glory. Then there was you.”
I tipped my head to the side, watching the quirk of his mouth as he reminisced about the night we met.
“I knew I had to talk to you, apologize for being such an arsehole. Then when I discovered what I was... You displayed your submission so beautifully. I could see why anyone would want to have you like that.”
I swallowed and tried to hold his gaze. He was being honest with me and I was determined to let him get it all out before I spoke again. I didn't want him to lose his train of thought.
“However, if I'm completely honest, I missed you. I missed the woman who spoke openly and honestly. I missed the woman who was impassioned by the wealth of history that surrounded her. I missed the Kit that could mesmerize me with her wit. Why do you think I was determined for you to be yourself every time we left the house?”
I bit my bottom lip. I'd thought it was his lack of training and inexperience that had brought that on, but I could see now that I was wrong. I should have known he'd been told how to handle that situation. He'd been so thorough with everything else.
“What I'm saying is that I love your submissive side and I don't want you to ever give that up. But I love you, the you beyond even that. I love all of you.”
My hands moved of their own volition, my right cupping his face. I enjoyed the way he leaned into my touch. My left hand fisted the crisp white collar of his shirt and pulled him toward me so our lips crashed together. His words were said perfectly, but the meaning struck me down to the very marrow of my bones. He loved me. He loved the woman I was and the submissive I would always be. I hadn't expected that; it seemed too good to be true.
Every step of the way he'd encouraged me to speak my mind. He'd relished every small noise I'd made when he'd been in control of my body. Those moments when it was just the two of us in his room after the club, he'd engaged me in conversation until exhaustion had taken over. The shadow that had been cast over my heart and burdened my shoulders seemed to lift completely, leaving me tethered only by his touch.
“I love you, too,” I whispered, releasing his shirt and cupping both of his cheeks as my lips traveled from his to cover every spare inch of his face. “And thank you.”
“For what?” He chuckled as I spoke between the spattering of kisses over his forehead.
“For loving me, for understanding me and knowing who I was even when I was unsure. For being the single most amazing man I've ever met.”
“That's a lot to live up to.”
“You do it without thinking about it.”
His arms circled my waist, pulling me to him as our bodies came flush up against one another.
This was what love was.
It was accepting one another with flaws and all, and seeing the perfection in the imperfections. It was the unequivocal trust and faith in the other person. It was knowing that your soul couldn't live another day without them. That's what I’d found, and I planned to keep it close and cherish it for as long as he would allow me to.
“Do you have to leave?” Libby asked, helping stuff what meager possessions I had into the trunk of my car. She leaned her hip against the dulled backlight, her pout evident.
“Libby, I'm only moving three houses down.”
I'd finally found a small rental house to move into. For the last two months, I'd been splitting my time between staying with Jared and staying with Maria and Libby. As much as I loved them all, I didn't know whether I was coming or going half of the time. I needed a space of my own, one where I could settle.
Jared and Charles had asked me to move in permanently. As had Maria, but I didn't want to be a hindrance to anyone, so when the house down the street had been put up for lease, I'd jumped at it. That way, I had the best of both worlds.
“But it's not the same.”
“Of course it is. I'm within walking distance. We can still go for runs and I'll still hang out after school and cook with you.”
“What about mornings and doing our make-up together and sharing music.”
“We can still share music though make-up may be tricky.” I took a deep breath and clasped the tops of her arms, dipping my knees so we were eye to eye. “Change happens, sweetheart. It's not all going to be bad. I'm not far and my door is always open to you.”
She blew out her breath, her cheeks deflating as she did. It wasn't acceptance, more resignation, but she'd get used to it. Maybe even come to enjoy it, too. “Fine but don't get mad if I come down there with the horror face in the mornings.”
“I won't.”
“You need help unpacking?”
“I appreciate it, but enjoy your Sunday. School tomorrow.”
“Your first day. Are you nervous?”
By some grace I'd actually managed to get a job in her school’s administration office. The pay was decent, and although I didn't get the same holidays they did, it was close enough. Charles had offered me a job in the company working for him at the house, while Jared had accepted the job as CFO at the office in New Orleans. Not traveling meant that I could make good money by doing both jobs. I'd been working for Charles since Jared and I had talked and I loved it. He couldn't understand why I needed the other job at the school, but the truth was I needed to be around other people.
Dropping my hands and hip bumping her out of the way, I gave her a grin. “Terrified. I remember being a teenager.”
“We're all trouble,” she said dramatically, walking to the car door with me. “Just be prepared for the serial mishaps. You're going to be a shoulder to cry on.”
“Drama I can do easily.” I laughed, pulling her in for a hug. “Tell your mom I'll call her later.”
Libby stepped back from my embrace and grinned, lifting her shoulders in a shrug. “As you keep reminding me, you're only three doors away.”
“Still a smart-ass, I see.”
“Always!”
I laughed, pulling open my door before climbing in, unwinding my window and sticking my head out.
“Never change, Libby.”
With that, and a wave, I pulled out of the drive and headed to my new home. I'd slowly been eating at my savings through furnishing the place and decorating before moving in. Now that the new paint smell was gone, I couldn't wait to get in there and settle down.
As I pulled into my driveway, my smile doubled to the point my cheeks hurt, because there, standing with his hip against the Jaguar and his arms crossed, was Jared. My Jared.
“Couldn't stay away, huh?” I asked, climbing from the car and running to him. He caught me easily as I launched myself at him, my lips brushing over his cheeks and jaw until I finally reached his mouth.
“I bought you a house warming present.”
I sighed dramatically, unable to hide my grin. “Again with the money. Whatever will people think?”
He looked at the house and back at me. “You're stubbornly moving into a tiny house after refusing to move in with me in a home I
know
you love. No one will think anything.”
“You're not still booty hurt over that are you?” I grinned, dropping my legs from around his waist and waiting for him to let me go so my feet touched the ground. “This
tiny
house, as you so disdainfully named it, is the only place I've ever had of my own. It's quaint.”
“It's also private.”
“Mmmhmmm. I wonder why that's so appealing,” I teased, my feet finally meeting the ground. “So, what did you get me?”
“Something you want.”
“That fifty-inch LED bad boy?”
“A television? Really?”
“That's a no. You clearly haven’t been introduced to the finer points of midweek dramas.” I snorted, tugging on his hand. “Show me, show me, show me!”
He turned me around and pointed me in the direction of the house. The sudden excitement I felt was unexpected. Something about him letting himself in and making himself at home made me feel giddy. He swept his arm in front of him for me to go ahead, and after a quick kiss to his jaw I sprinted across my yard and hopped up the porch steps, pulling open the screen door to reveal my quaint and homely living room. The huge sofa was a gift from Charles. He, like Jared, couldn't understand the appeal this place had to me but he'd been determined to make it a space I'd feel comfortable in. The couch was so deep and lavish that you could lay any which way on it and be almost completely flat out.
My eyes searched the space to no avail; there was nothing new in here. I spun around a couple of times and turned to find him standing at the door, pulling the screen door closed behind him.
“Look harder.”
I huffed out a breath and looked around again, heading down the short hall to the three bedrooms. It was there that I found something different. The second largest bedroom had a new handle on the door. One with a lock.
“Is this—?”
“Just go inside.”
I eyed him over my shoulder before reaching for the handle, teasing him for a while, just standing and watching him with a grin on my face. It was only when he growled and grabbed for my hips that I finally twisted and stepped away.
With the door out of the way, one of the most beautiful creations I'd ever seen was revealed. I’d never seen anything like them in the clubs. It was obvious they'd been designed for personal use, because even to the naked eye, I could see they'd been built to Jared's height.
Most of them were multifunctional. The versa horse was highly polished cherry, with pads that looked plush and comfortable. The spanking bench seemed to have the ability to convert into a St Andrew’s cross, and center stage was a bed built specifically for bondage. The lock now made absolute sense.
“Jared...”
“Too much?” he asked, stepping in behind me as his arms circled my waist. “There's stuff I still don't know how to use but I figured we could learn together.”
My eyes widened and looked around even more. There were well-placed hooks in the ceiling and a box in the corner that told me there was a swing waiting to be mounted.
“No. Not too much. Well it is, but not in that respect. This is perfect, but it must have cost —”
His hand moved over my mouth, not allowing me to finish the sentence, while my hand reached out to touch the beautifully designed table with stirrups.
“Grandfather insisted I get all of this designed for the dungeon at his house, but it served better here. The company I went to had some scary shit; I figured we could work up to that if we wanted to.”
I nodded and licked his hand, giggling and bounding into the room while pulling my top over my head. “Go lock the front door. I don't want Libby walking in.”
Jared's eyes darkened, his shoulders rolling back as he pulled himself to his full height. “You don't get to give the orders in here, my little kitty cat. I will lock the door, but when I return, I want you naked and on your knees in the middle of the room. Do you understand me?”
A little shiver of excitement ran down my spine. We hadn't played like this since he'd found me at Maria's. We'd had sex, but there were no restraints other than his hands, and no pain, other than my body stretching to accommodate him. I suddenly found myself nervous as hell, even as my body responded eagerly.
“Yes, Sir.”
“Good girl.”
He took three steps back and disappeared down the hall after one last prolonged look at me. My body burned everywhere his eyes touched, the intensity of it lingering as I pulled my clothes off quickly and folded them neatly before doing as I was told and kneeling in the middle of the room.
Falling into my pose was easy. It was like riding a bike, those days of neglecting that part of myself quickly disappearing as my knees parted and my head bowed. Brushing my hair over my shoulder before falling to my legs, palm up, I awaited instruction. It was mere seconds before I heard him head back down the hall toward me. He stepped into the room, placing a bottle of water on the small cabinet in the corner after kicking the door closed behind him. He said nothing until he headed back to me, crouching to my left with his forearms balanced on his thighs.
“You're beautiful like this. The elegant curve to your neck, the rise and fall of your breasts in excitement, your knees apart like that...” He leaned in, his breath coating the shell of my ear. “I can see how much you want this... how much you want me.”