Authors: Adrienne Wilder
George cursed. “Jon, talk some sense into him before he does something stupid.”
Tension cut deep crow’s feet above Jon’s cheeks. “That’s Ellis’s call.”
“Jon…”
He held his hand up at George. “That’s Ellis’s call.”
Ellis gave a Jon a small smile. “It’s not that I want to.” He turned his attention back to the group. “It’s just that I think it’s the best chance that the rest of you have of coming home alive.”
********
Everything became a blur for Jon. He listened to George’s plan. He listened to the input given by the other men. He even made suggestions as to how they should go into the Grove and where they should concentrate each attack.
All the while his soul agonized about Ellis’s part. It was decided a dirt bike would work best, but Ellis hadn’t been on one since he was ten.
All he needed to remember was the gas, the brake, and how to turn. A field wouldn’t be a problem for even the greenest beginner. Except the Grove had something nasty living under it and the entire goal was to get that nasty thing to go after Ellis.
The thought of all the things that could go wrong settled in Jon’s gut like a pile of rusted nails. Gratefulness in Ellis’s eyes kept him from going insane. If the plan fell through there would be plenty of time later on for Jon to lose his mind.
They broke for dinner.
Eleanor seemed in her element with a group of hungry people to feed. Food covered the table end to end. George brought out a couple of card tables and some folding chairs to give everyone a place to eat.
Ellis mopped up the last of the gravy on his plate with a piece of roll. “Damn, that was good. I think I might get a piece of pie. Do you want me to grab you some?”
Jon poked his fork into the mound of mashed potatoes beside the untouched slice of ham. “I’m good.”
“You sure? I don’t think there will be any left if I don’t get it now.”
“I’m sure.”
Ellis squeezed Jon’s shoulder as he picked up his plate and carried it to the kitchen.
“How long have you two been together?” Leon took a sip of iced tea.
Jon had almost forgotten there was anyone else there except Ellis and him. “Eight months, give or take a few weeks.”
Chunk talked around a mouthful of bread. “Ah, young love. I remember that.”
Leon chuckled. “Oh really, and what do you remember?”
“How you used to buy me chocolate and we’d fuck like rabbits.”
“Watch your mouth. There’s a woman in the room. And I never bought you chocolate.” To Jon Leon said, “You’re doing the right thing.”
“About what?”
“Letting him get involved with this. I know it’s killing you, but you’re doing the right thing.”
“Am I that transparent?” Jon scooped up a bite of mashed potatoes, but couldn’t get the fork to his lips.
“Like glass.” Leon waved his spoon. “Okay, maybe not like glass, but I’ve seen a lot of scared men in my time. It’s the kind of shadow in their eyes you never forget and no matter how well a man schools his expression, it always shows.”
Ellis talked with Terrance in the kitchen. Every so often he’d glance back at Jon. He tried to pretend he wasn’t staring.
“And he knows,” Chunk said. “I know you think he doesn’t notice, but he does.” Leon and Chunk exchanged looks.
Jon nodded. “How did you two get through the day when you were out on the battlefield?”
Their faces stayed blank. “It wasn’t easy.” Leon rattled the ice in his glass. “You already have to entrust your men with your life and they have to trust you with theirs. Then when you complicate things by falling in love with one of those men it’s terrifying. I’d never even considered being with another man before then. In fact, I had a girl waiting at home. Somehow, over the course of trying to stay alive, something happened. Neither of us understood at the time. Then we got separated from our squad and bedded down in a burned out building for three weeks.” He ran a finger along the edge of his glass. “When you think you’re going to die, you tend to forget the rules. You know, the ones that say how you’re supposed to act and think. All that shit becomes irrelevant. You stop seeing people as bodies and start seeing them as beings.” Leon nodded at Chunk. “We realized the closeness we felt for one another went beyond the battlefield. Since we thought any moment could be our last, we quit worrying about the rest of the world.”
“We thought nothing could be worse than getting killed until we survived,” Chunk said.
“Why is that?” Jon said.
“Because going home meant we had to think about the rules again.” His stoic expression cracked for a second. “We had families. Him, his girlfriend. Me, my parents. When people are shooting at you no one takes the time to worry about who you’re in love with, but back among society it’s one of the top things folks gossip about.”
“But you got through it.”
“Sure,” Leon wiped his mouth with a napkin. “I came home and my girlfriend had moved on. I think she was really surprised when I didn’t shed a tear. I didn’t even feel sad. Two days later I hopped a bus to Virginia to find Francis.”
Chunk’s face went red.
“Oh hell, when are you going to get over that? Francis is a nice name.”
“Fucking girl’s name.”
Leon waved a hand dismissing Chunk’s angry glare. “Anyhow, I found him and we took off to a state where no one knew us, bought a piece of land, contracted with a few poultry companies, and lived the life we wanted.”
Ellis ate a piece of pie while he chatted with Terrance. He met Jon’s gaze and flicked his tongue out, licking away the glob of whipped cream clinging to the corner of his mouth.
Leon slapped Jon on the shoulder, “You got it bad, I’ll give you that.”
“I know.”
Ellis brought over a saucer with a piece of pie. “I know you said you didn’t want any, but it’s too good to miss out.” He glanced at the uneaten food on Jon’s plate. Jon shoveled a fork full of mashed potatoes into his mouth. Ellis pushed the piece of pie under Jon’s hand. “At least eat the pie.”
Both Leon and Chunk laughed.
Jon took a bite of the pie. He’d eaten half when Ellis said, “Terrence suggested that you guys draw straws on what your jobs will be.”
Ellis already had the worst job possible. Jon pushed away the saucer of pie.
“No need to draw straws. Chunk and me will handle dropping the barrels.”
“That’s not fair,” Ellis said.
“Why not? I know damn well no one else wants it. It’s got to be the most dangerous position out there.” He shrugged. “Except for yours, of course.”
Ellis sat. “Then why would you want it?”
A darkness in Leon’s gaze made it hard to hold. Jon had seen that same look in himself whenever he was afraid for Ellis. The only thing different with Leon was the acceptance. Somehow that made what the man said next worse, “We’ve had good lives. If we survive this, great. If not, no big loss.”
“How can you say that?” Jon said.
Chunk smiled, but it was void of happiness. “The doctor thinks I won’t live much past a year.”
“What?” Ellis gave Jon a look that made him want to stand up and fix things, only he didn’t know how.
“Aneurism.” Chunk pointed two fingers at the middle of chest. “In here, around my heart. They wanted to do this fancy patch work job, but…” Leon put a hand on Chunk’s shoulder. It was such a simple gesture that could have meant anything, but somehow it conveyed love like no words could. “Besides it’s not like I can let Leon play cowboy by himself. He might make me look bad.”
“No, you’re just afraid you’ll poison yourself with your cooking.”
“That too.”
They laughed.
Jon was pretty sure the smile on his face looked as brittle as the one Ellis wore. Jon put a hand on Ellis’s thigh and squeezed.
“Can I ask you two something?” Jon said.
“Sure.” Leon put down his glass of tea.
“What did George say to you to get you to help? I mean, most people would think we’re crazy.”
Chunk looked at Leon who nodded. Chunk said, “The thought crossed us both, so I’m sure it did everyone else too. But we all saw terrible things during the war. Unspeakable acts of viciousness. Like the results of those concentration camps. I know most of us could never understand the kind of evil it would take to commit such an atrocity. It’s one of those things that’s sat in the back of my mind for a very long time. When George told us what you’d said and then the things he’d witnessed, it made sense. No matter how crazy it sounds. Only something inhuman could do that. Only something evil, void of human compassion, something terrible, could cause suffering on that level.”
A cold chill crawled down Jon’s spine.
“If we have a chance at keeping something like that from happening again, we have to try,” Leon said.
“How come George didn’t believe us when we first told him?” Jon glanced in his direction.
“I think he did. But I also think it scared him. No one wants to believe in monsters. George didn’t have to be convinced they existed. He knew they did. He’d seen the same things we did while we were over there. The idea of something that horrific being here in our backyard would put anyone in denial.”
What Leon said gave Jon a whole new perspective. George stood next to Eleanor, laughing about something one of the other men said.
“Jon?” Ellis said. “George gave me the keys to his car so we can go on back to the hotel. He wants us here early in the morning to run through some of the formations with full cargo.”
“He hasn’t even gotten the tanks set up.”
“We’ll be taking care of that.” Chunk waved a hand between them. “You two go spend some time together and get some rest.”
Jon was about to argue until Chunk met his gaze. He knew then what Chunk was telling him without speaking the words. Jon needed to enjoy every minute with Ellis, because when they faced this thing he might never have the chance to again.
********
There was no way Ellis was going to let Jon go back to the rat-hole hotel so he brought him to the Winter Leaf Bed and Breakfast.
Ellis parked the car.
Jon sat with his elbow on the door, chin in his hand, gazing out the window. There were no words to describe the expression he wore, but it made Ellis’s heart ache.
“We’re here.”
Jon looked around. “Where’s here?”
“The B and B I’ve been staying at.”
Some of the distance bled from Jon’s gaze when he smiled. “My place not good enough for you?”
“It is sort of rough.”
“It cleans up.”
“To make that place look better you’d have to burn it down and rebuild the thing.”
“You’re right.” Jon laughed. “It’s pretty bad. Especially when the wind shifts and you can smell the pig farm up the road.”
The tension in Ellis’s shoulders eased.
Soft blues and whites surrounded them as they crossed the lobby furnished in fat sofas and Queen Anne chairs.
Ellis led Jon up the stairs to the last door at the end of the hall. “It’s small, but the water’s hot and the bed is comfortable.” Jon stared at the line of charcoal sketches hanging on the hall wall.
“What’s wrong?” Ellis walked over.
Jon nodded at the drawing of a house and water wheel perched on a rocky hill. Ellis recognized the place as one of the historic buildings being preserved by the city.
“It’s not fair.” Jon said. “Places as peaceful as Gilford should be immune to monsters.”
“I don’t think anyone or any place is immune to evil.”
“I know. But it’s still wrong.”
Ellis reached for Jon’s hand, then remembered they were out in public. He decided he didn’t care. Jon’s fingers wove between Ellis’s.
“We’ll get through this.” When Jon looked at him, he knew how futile his words sounded.
Jon tightened his grip. “Please don’t help us go after this thing.”
“I have to.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Then why did you ask?”
“Because I’d never be able to live with myself if I didn’t.” Jon traced lines across Ellis’s knuckles to his palm. How did such a simple touch could convey so much love? Yet it did. Almost as if Jon burned it into Ellis’s skin with every stroke of his fingers.
“You don’t think I’m going to live through this, do you?” Ellis said.
Jon fell still.
“Is there something you’re not telling me?”
Jon closed his eyes for a moment. The muscles in his jaw twitched.
“Jon?”
He nodded. “We should go sit down.”
Ellis closed the door behind them. Jon took off his coat.
“There’s a hook over here on the wall.” Ellis hung up his coat and so did Jon.
Whatever internal battle he faced rippled across his expression with flashes of fear and pain. Jon petted the sleeve of Ellis’s coat with a trembling hand.
Ellis pulled him over to the bed and made him sit. The only other place to sit was a stiff winged back chair in the corner.
“Whatever it is, I need you to tell me.” Ellis stood between Jon’s knees and put his hands on Jon’s cheeks. “Tell me.”
“In the hospital, I dreamed about Rudy. No, not dreamed, but…” He told Ellis the things Rudy said; the light, why he died, the grain of evil that all people had. “But in order to kill
The Big and Terrible
you would have to die.”
“But we’re not trying to kill it.” Wasn’t that the reason for the tanks of gas? They were just going to burn it back. Drive it into a hole somewhere to hide for another few decades. Let someone else deal with it. They were going to live their lives and forget.
Standing there in front of Jon, Ellis realized he never intended to do that. He wanted this thing wiped from the face of the earth. Knowing it would kill him should have made him afraid, but he felt nothing except how much he loved the man in front of him.
Jon held his gaze. There was no need to confess. The darkness in Jon’s eyes told Ellis he already knew.
“Did Rudy say what I had to do?”
Jon swallowed hard enough to make his throat click.
Ellis ran his thumb along the white streak on the side of Jon’s head. “If he told you how I can kill it, I need you to tell me.”
“He said you had to go into the house.” He gripped Ellis’s hips and laid his head against Ellis’s stomach. He ran his fingers through Jon’s hair.