The Hardest Fall (Roadmap to Your Heart Book 3) (17 page)

T
ate had come
to Rosie’s Repair Shop with me again today, as he had most days for the past couple of weeks. I’d convinced him to buy new screen-print materials to work on in the back room and even walked to the art supply store with him to get them, lest he change his mind.

Annie had the day off today and was shopping flea markets with Karen as he and I worked quietly on opposite sides of the shop over the last several hours. I was as impressed with his skill and technique as I was by his creativity and work ethic.

Last night we headed over to Safe Harbor and volunteered in the kitchen. Afterward, he had met with Bethany, Jessica, and Andre again about the fundraiser. It would take place in two weeks’ time and the event was already almost sold out. Apparently Tate’s mom had good connections with her liberal minded society ladies and Maurice had rounded up a few favors as well.

Tate and I didn’t speak any further about what in the hell we were doing—we were simply enjoying being together. Never had I felt so much satisfaction being with somebody that I considered just as much a lover as a friend. Still there was part of me that was afraid that Tate would find a reason to walk away. Things didn’t normally work out for me in the long run. The only constant person in my life thus far had been Annie if I was keeping track. Everybody else had already left or died.

“When I was dumping the paint in the sink, I had an idea about how to spruce this place up,” Tate said, sweeping his arm toward the front of the shop where he had suggested we get a new welcome mat and build some flower boxes so that the store reflected its quaint era. He got Annie pumped for the idea and they whispered constantly when Tate was around and planned future shopping trips together.

It was true that the store now seemed less dated just with him in it. Tate was like a shiny spot on a rusted pan that had seen better days.

“Yeah?” I asked, giving him a peck on the temple as I walked by him, surprising myself at how natural it felt to show him affection.

He liked when I did, I could tell. His eyes would soften and he would gaze up at me with a glazed looked in his eyes. I didn’t ask myself what it meant because I didn’t want to overthink anything. I was lucky enough that he wanted to spend time with me at all.

“I thought maybe we could start with a fresh coat of paint,” he said, trying hard to contain his excitement. “I got the idea when I was filtering a muted shade of yellow through the screen for one of my new designs.”

“Yellow?” I asked, scratching my head and looking around at the dull cream walls. They certainly needed something. “Let’s ask Annie what she thinks. Then we can get some color swatches.”

He looked down at his phone when it buzzed with a text. “It’s Tori.” His fingers were flying on the keys. “Let me tell her I’m here again.”

“What will Tori think of that?” I asked, curious about the people in his life. I had only met his roommate on a couple of occasions.

He sighed. “She thinks I’ll sabotage us sooner or later.”

My eyebrows shot up. “What does she mean by that?”

He shrugged. “Guess I’m pretty good at making excuses for why things can’t work out.”

“Because of what happened with—” I stopped short of saying his name.

“Probably. I don’t know,” he said, cleaning up his supplies. He was good at that, so I never worried that something would be out of place. “Maybe because of my dad too. I just have a hard time trusting people, I guess. And maybe myself too.”

I hated hearing that. “Does that mean you’re afraid to trust me?” I asked low in his ear. “I know we got off to a bad start, but I would never—“

“I trust you,” he mumbled, before turning to face me. “I’ve probably never trusted anyone more.”

We stared at each other after that heady declaration. One that sent my head and heart into a tailspin. “Tate, damn. That’s—”

My pulse thundered in my ears as I stepped closer to him, my thumb tracing across his chin. “I trust you too,” I murmured and then hauled him into a long and slow kiss.

“You’re not afraid of somebody coming in the shop?” he asked looking over my shoulder. He knew I’d never have any PDA going on in front of the windows, but we were in the back of the store at the moment.

“Should I be?” I replied pecking his mouth. Even I was surprised at how open I’d been lately. “Are you going to get me naked or something?”

We had spent the week giving each other hand and blowjobs and still I hadn’t gotten my fill of him.

Like right now, I knew I should stop but I didn’t want to. His hands gripped the globes of my ass and parted my cheeks, his fingers dipping in my crease. I stiffened a bit as my breath stuttered.

“Has anybody ever had their mouth here?”

I trembled against his touch. “No.”

He licked the shell of my ear, making a shiver race down my spine. “You’ll love it. And if you’re ever going to let somebody inside you, they’re going to want to play back here, with their fingers and mouth.”

“Fuck, you’re making me hard,” I said as he ground his cock into my hip.

“Or not. Some dudes don’t like it. So they focus on the other good stuff,” he said grabbing a fistful of my balls and squeezing.

Speaking the truth I was coming to terms with, I said, “I think I’d want it.” And pushed into his grip.
I’d want you inside me.

“Well, obviously. I am pretty fabulous,” he said in his Frieda Love voice, so I backed him against the wall, and gave Frieda something to do with her mouth.

A
fter closing
up Rosie’s Repair Shop, Sebastian and I walked back to his house with some takeout. I should’ve headed home but he suggested I record a new YouTube video tonight from his place. I loved the idea.

“Dark Eyes, huh?” he asked as he took a bite of his egg roll.

My fork stopped partway to my mouth. “You knew that?”

He winced. “Sort of. Will it be totally creepy of me to admit I’ve seen a couple of videos?”

Whoa, I had no clue. But damn, I liked the idea of Sebastian watching me.

“What did you think?” My pulse beat double time. His opinion definitely mattered to me. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, everything about that man mattered to me.

“When you talked about me, it was painful and sort of embarrassing,” he said, dabbing at his mouth with a napkin. “But I got why you did it. You were just being you, and your audience loves you. How could they not? You’re radiant.”

I practically purred from his compliment.

After we finished dinner, Sebastian sat back on the lazy boy chair he said had belonged to his dad. It was the only worn piece of furniture in his otherwise modern but sparse apartment. I liked that he was nostalgic about things and I wondered if that was the reason why he hadn’t done anything to spruce up Rosie’s Repair Shop.

Maybe it felt like a piece of his father that he could still hold on to. All he had left of his mother was memories—difficult ones if his tossing and turning at night was any indication. It made me want to wrap him up tight and never let him go. And that thought scared the shit out of me.

I adjusted the camera angle and made sure I had all of my supplies in front of me before I began recording. It was nerve-wracking to have Sebastian as my audience but also kind of fun.

“Hey everybody. Today we’re going to paint some nails,” I motioned to the bottles in front of me. “This is my favorite brand because it doesn’t flake but no matter what you use there are a couple of simple things you can do to make your color last longer.”

Sebastian watched me intently from his perch across the room, and it made me feel electric in front of the camera. “The most important thing is to make sure your nail bed is healthy.”

My hands were still a bit stained from the screen-print work I’d done in the back of the shop today. I held up my hands, which were scrubbed clean but suddenly I had an idea.

“So do you guys remember Dark Eyes?” When Sebastian’s eyebrows arched, I smiled like a Cheshire cat at the camera. “Well he’s here with me. And right now we’re…we’re dating.”

In my side view, I noticed how he leaned forward, more than likely stunned and pleased that I had said those words aloud. “And well, he’s amazing. And gorgeous. I wish you could see him but he’s very shy, doesn’t like to be the center of attention.”

The blush that spread across his cheeks was perfection.

“Instead I figure I could convince him to let me use his fingers,” I reached for the bottle I’d purchased this week. “For the new nail color I bought.”

He immediately began shaking his head like I knew he would.

“The only thing my viewing audience will see is your hands. Because they’re spectacular hands.”
I promise
, I mouthed to him.

After another long moment, he gave a wary nod.

He moved closer, glancing back at the camera to be sure he was still out of the frame. His button down shirtsleeves were rolled to his elbows, just how I liked them.

I reached for his hand and flattened it on the coffee table, encouraging him to spread his fingers as he got situated on the floor. Then I went into demonstration mode.

“See how soft and pretty these hands are?” I asked my subscribers. “Have I ever told you I have a thing for forearms? I mean check these out.”

Really?
He mouthed to me as I brushed my fingers over the bulging veins of his bronze skin, reveling in making him squirm.

After I opened the pink blossom lacquer, I began painting his nails while I spoke to my audience, trying my best not to make him even more uncomfortable. But I already knew my viewers were going to eat this episode up. Who could resist a glimpse of a mysterious man I claimed I was dating, especially since I had confided the story to them?

Sebastian, on the other hand, used the opportunity to watch me intently, his gaze idly roaming from my eyes and lips and down to his hands and even lower, making me so fucking hard. He knew exactly what he was doing as I finished with a topcoat to set the color. I could scarcely resist him when he had that look in his eyes. The one that made it perfectly clear he wanted me.

“One more thing before I sign off,” I said, and I noticed how husky my voice had grown. I cleared my throat and sat up straighter. “We’re having a fundraiser for Safe Harbor at Ruby Redd’s in a couple of weeks.”

I gave them the date, told them more about the organization and encouraged them to donate if they were looking for a worthy cause. I’d even set up an online wish list on a popular site so all donors had to do was click to purchase socks and other necessities that Andre had told me were needed and they were sent directly to Safe Harbor.

I stood up to shut off the recording. “You can’t move for another five minutes because your nails are drying.”

He stayed silent as I sat back down. “Are you mad at me?”

He shook his head and blinked rapidly staring down at his sparkly pink nails.

“Then why are you so quiet?” I asked wondering if anything I said had made him anxious or pissed.

“Just thinking,” he mumbled as he continued watching me.

I grew completely still, my stomach muscles constricting. “About what?”

He leaned forward, being mindful of where his hands were on the table. “About how much I adore you.”

My lips parted as a hard puff of air escaped. My heart had swollen to the size of a gigantic helium balloon as all the molecules between us thickened and crackled, restricting my airway.

I cleared my throat once. Then twice.

“That nail polish looks awesome on you,” I said, trying to deflect how he was making me feel. Like somebody had released a pile of confetti in my stomach.

He smiled languidly. “I like it.”

“Do you?” As I began packing away my supplies, my fingers still trembling, I was hit with the urge to try something new, since Sebastian was being so pliant. And wonderful. And so damn
breathtaking
.

I lifted a deep crimson tube of lipstick from the makeup tray and unscrewed the lid as I studied his face. Dark scruff grew on his chin matching the striking dusky shade of his eyes. “This color will suit you.”

Sebastian didn’t object, simply watched me with open and trusting eyes. I leaned forward with one hand cupping his chin, and gently swiped the rouge across his full bottom lip, my cock swelling painfully hard against my zipper.

After I was satisfied the color was evenly spread across his mouth, I gathered his face in my hands and moved closer, so that we were breathing the same air. “I adore you too.”

His gaze softened as a quiet moan escaped in his throat.

I kissed him tenderly while our eyes remained open and pinned to each other. It was sensual and emotional and my chest felt full to bursting.

“Can I move yet?” he asked in a breathless voice. “Because I am dying to touch you.”

“Not yet.” My fingers explored every plane and angle of his face, as I traced his cheeks and forehead, his ears and jaw and throat.

I kissed him softer, harder, deeper, longer. Our tongues mingled and the lipstick smeared against my bare lips and chin. We were covered in scarlet red, our hearts mixing and tangling together to form a richer shade.

W
hen Tate stood
up and reached for my hand, I went willingly. We still had lipstick smudged on our faces but my nails were dry and I wouldn’t have traded those intimate moments with him for the world. I knew right then and there that I was hopelessly in love with this man.

Swiftly removing our clothes, we made out on the bed like a couple of horny teenagers in a borrowed car rubbing up against each other.

Tate lifted up and flipped the other way, sinking down on his stomach so that he was eye level with my cock and his ass and balls were in close proximity to my chin.

Sixty-nines were not something new for me, but they had never been quite like this before. I was momentarily frozen not knowing what to savor first when I felt Tate lick a long line down my cock with the flat of his tongue. I groaned shamelessly and angled my head to lap at his balls, the one thing I noticed he loved most.

“Yeah, right there,” he ground out. “Oh fuck, feels good.”

I kept up the pressure of my lips and tongue while he deep throated me. I groaned around his balls as I pulled them into my mouth one at a time and relished them.

His fingers slid down my outer thighs to dig into my ass as he kissed open-mouthed along the top of my legs and hipbones. When his hands kneaded my cheeks, and licked a line along the seam of my groin and thigh, I moaned and squirmed.

“Bend your knees,” he said as I placed my feet flat on the mattress. His fingers trailed behind my thighs to the crease of my knees, making the hair on my legs lift and tingle. “That’s it, so sexy.”

I hummed in response, licking his shaft as I held it steady in my fist.

He parted my knees further, adjusting his weight and shifting downward, as he licked at my balls and then lower to my taint. My balls felt heavy and full as they rested in the crook of his neck. The tips of his fingers parted my cheeks open, and I could feel him studying my asshole.

“Tate.” The muscles in my legs stiffened and I made the motion to pull away because nobody had ever had such a close up view of my most intimate place.

“It’s okay,” he said, massaging my thighs and kissing the inside of my leg. “It’s really pretty.”

“Oh fuck.” Somehow his words entirely cranked me up and a tremor rushed up my spine to my hairline. My muscles slackened in response.

“Can I taste you?” he asked, his warm breath brushing like fingertips across my hole. “Please let me taste you.”

“Goddamn, Tate,” Electricity zinged through me at the sound of his voice. It was low and throaty as if he were completely turned on. “I don’t know….”

He pulled back and relaxed his hold. “It’s okay if you’re not ready…if you don’t want me to—”

“Well fuck, I think I actually might,” I said squirming as he blew his warm air across my balls. “Do it before I change my mind.”

He adjusted his shoulders between my thighs, which were spread open and quivering. When I felt the tip of his tongue trace my hole, I nearly shot off the bed.

“Damn, I knew you’d taste good,” he blurted, muffled against my thigh.

“Oh wow. I didn’t know, I can’t even…” I blubbered, my brain short-circuiting and giving in to pure sensation.

His tongue went to work again, circling and probing at my hole, while I panted and moaned and gripped the covers forcefully.

“I don’t want anybody else, Sebastian, and it’s freaking me out,” he said as if I could even focus on the amazing confession. And maybe that was the whole point. Baring his soul while he was licking me into submission and I couldn’t even see his fucking eyes.

“I don’t want anybody else, either,” I said, my fingers gripping his neglected cock. “Fuck, I can’t even concentrate when you’re down there.”

I felt him smile against my thigh, his forehead resting there momentarily, as if he had just declared something brave. My fingers moved down to brush through his hair and he twisted his head to gently plant a kiss on my forearm.

It was a tender moment in the middle of an overwhelmingly intimate act and instead of thinking too hard about it I doubled my efforts on his cock, trying to blow his mind as well.

When his mouth returned to my thighs, he kissed every square inch around my hole, leaving me a quivering mess. “Please,” I whimpered.

“Please what?” he asked and I squirmed beneath the erotic pressure of his lips against my sensitive skin.

“Don’t fuck with me,” I growled. “Please taste me again.”

“I thought you’d never ask,” he said in a singsong voice, and I heard the unspoken words. Paybacks were a bitch. “Lift your knees to your chest.”

I raised my legs toward my shoulders. Never had I felt this exposed and vulnerable to somebody before. It made me want to jerk away and at the same time get carried away in the moment.

As Tate kissed and licked at my hole, my entire body began vibrating as pinpricks of heat swept across my skin and consumed my flesh. I was panting openly at the sensation of allowing somebody this intimacy.

Tate had a substantial hold on my hips, so I couldn’t even sway them if I wanted to. It was if I was hostage to his tongue and everything it was doing to me. My breaths were messy, and I shuddered as he continued to jab and press inside.

“Goddamn,” he said. “I want to get my finger in you. Just bear with me. You’re going to love it.”

His thumbs spread me open, and he prodded his tongue past the circular muscle, moaning as if he loved every minute of pleasing me. I whimpered shamelessly, because holy fuck was it good. Having my lover’s tongue jab and worm its way inside my body left me bereft with the most incredible awareness of all the pleasure receptors in my brain sounding off at once.

My muscles felt weak, my breathing shallow. Hell, I couldn’t even recite the alphabet in that moment if I tried. The tip of his finger replaced his tongue, and at first it burned a bit, so I grunted and fidgeted.

But then the muscle gave way, and his finger was inside me. He began sliding his digit in and out until I became adjusted to the feel of it and then he did this little trick with his wrist and all at once the blood rushed straight to my groin. “Oh God. Oh fuck!”

“Welcome to your prostate.” Another few pumps and everything buzzed awake inside me. I babbled nonsensically as my head lolled side to side.

“Uuuuuuhhhh, Tate,” I mumbled as he finger fucked me and my hips rocked upward to force him deeper. “I need to come.”

“Damn you’re so sexy.” As he gingerly pulled his finger from my ass, I felt the loss immediately. He sat straight up and fisted his cock as if staving off his own orgasm. “I’d love for you to come inside me.”

My body went rigid at the very suggestion. He carefully flipped over to face me and I was able to lower my legs onto the bed, which helped get my erection under control. He leaned back so that my length nudged against the crack of his ass. I could almost imagine my cock pushing inside his tight heat, and my cheeks and neck reddened from the intimate thought.

He leaned down to kiss me and I grasped his face in my hands. “Do it.”

“Are you sure?” he asked wiggling his ass against me. His long cock curved against his abdomen, purple and trickling with pre-come.

“Please...I’m about to lose my fucking mind here.”

“Don’t move,” he said as he leaned over the side of the bed to the nightstand, where we had placed some condoms and lube earlier in the week
just in case
.

With nimble fingers, he rolled the condom down my length and then copiously applied lube before finally balancing on his knees and lining up his slicked hole.

He bent forward to graze my lips as he slowly lowered himself on top. My fingers gripped his thighs as the tip of my cock penetrated his tight muscle. He stilled as I whimpered, barely hanging on.

“Holy fuck, I’ve never felt anything so tight,” I ground out as I mashed my teeth together trying to hold on a little longer. Tate’s cock was long and beautiful, his chest flushed, and his mouth gleaming wet from biting his lip.

“I’m not going to last.” He grabbed his cock, fondling it in long and easy strokes, knowing exactly how he liked it. My hand wrapped around his and he bowed his back, urging me on, as I pumped him good and fast.

Tate began moving, lifting his ass and sliding back down, while his fist gripped his length. “Oh damn.”

My balls were tight and my spine was hot and prickling. “Fuck, Tate, I can’t—”

He threw his head back and came with a shout, his come spurting out in long ribbons across my stomach and chest and neck.

I clutched his muscular thighs feeling the urge to drive upward into his hot hole. I could feel his ass muscles constricting around my rigid cock and that’s when I lost my last measure of control. I grunted Tate’s name as I fired my entire load inside him, and a blaze of lights exploded in front of my eyes, temporarily blinding me.

My entire body was shuddering, my fingers gouging the pillowcase, as I desperately tried to harness my runaway breaths.

Tate sank down on top of me and I could feel his muscles trembling, his heart jackhammering, matching mine beat for beat. “Damn, that was—”

“Incredible,” I finished for him, as his mouth rested against my neck, his breaths puffing against my heated skin.

Several minutes later, when he could finally move, he disposed of the condom and cleaned us both up, using a hand towel from the bathroom.

“I can’t even...” I pulled him back into my arms. “Get over here.”

His chest heavy against mine, his softened cock nestled between my thighs felt perfect. Wonderful. Right.

“Thank you for giving me that,” I whispered into his temple.

When he sighed and settled against me, it was right on the edge of my tongue, but I pinned my lips in a neat, straight line.
I love you.