The Hardest Fall (Roadmap to Your Heart Book 3) (20 page)

A
fter the show
, the first thing we did when we got back to Sebastian’s apartment was jump in the shower, where Sebastian took a painstakingly long time bathing me from head to toe.

After all of my makeup and glitter washed down the drain, I returned the favor and then made him face the shower wall so I could tongue his ass until he was a whimpering mess.

We barely bothered to dry off before we made our way down the hall to his bed. Sebastian’s lips and hands were everywhere as he hemmed me against the wall and devoured my mouth. There was a raw desire in his gaze that I hadn’t seen before and that along with his sheer determination to be with me had my cock hard and leaking.

I wanted to make love to this man, swear my undying devotion to him for showing up at Ruby Redd’s tonight and putting himself out there in front of an audience.

“Sebastian.” Pausing at the doorway, his lips sucked greedily at my chin and mouth and tongue. I gasped for air and grabbed for his ass. “We can slow down. We don’t have to—”

“Please. I want this. I want to feel connected to you,” he panted into my neck. “I want to feel like…like I belong to you tonight.”

Holy fuck. Those words hit me in an overwhelming way. It was as if all the broken pieces inside of him needed to be soothed and mended and I desperately wanted to be the person to do that.

“I want you to belong to me
every
night,” I said as his eyes softened. “So let me take my time with you.”

I slowed way the hell down and gentled my lips. My fingers traced his shoulders and collarbone, and then down the center of his chest to his abdomen as he shivered at my touch. I brushed my mouth across his nipples, licking and sucking each one in kind. His fingers reached up to twist in my hair as he openly moaned and panted.

Licking a stripe across his throat, I moved up to his ear, biting the shell and murmuring how sexy he was. “Get on the bed.”

His eyes sparked to life. They became dark pools of liquid fire at my commanding voice. He knelt on the sheets, his nostrils flaring, his chest heaving, before lying all the way back, like some damn wet dream.

After I placed a condom and lube near the pillow, I sank down on top of him, our cocks rubbing together perfectly as he groaned, his hands digging into my waist.

I sucked on his lips, nibbled his ear and throat and shoulders, while his fingers roamed all over the landscape of my body from my hair to the knobs of my spine and settling on my ass.

When my fingers encircled both of our lengths, we were already leaking and mixing together. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” he gasped. “I’ve been…practicing, with my fingers.”

A blush stole across his cheeks and hot damn if that wasn’t the sexiest thing, imagining Sebastian playing with his own hole.

“Fuck, if you only knew what that does to me,” I said, reaching for the lube. “Show me. Stick your fingers in your ass for me.”

His face flushed hotter still as I waited with hungry anticipation. I sat back on my heels to give him room and squirted lube into both of our hands.

Sebastian lifted his knees toward the ceiling, exposing himself to me and I groaned in response. Fucking hell, he was hot as sin. He edged his hand over his straining cock, past his heavy balls, to his tight pink hole. As he kept his gaze on me and slid his finger partway inside, a shiver quaked through me. “Fuck, Sebastian.”

Unable to wait any longer, I traced his puckered entrance with my thumb and inched it alongside his digit. He gasped as his hole greedily sucked us in. “If only you could see how sexy you look right now with both of our fingers inside you.”

“Please,” he moaned and squirmed against my hand. I waited until his muscles relaxed before pushing my thumb all the way inside. Together we stretched him until he was begging for more. “I need to feel you, Tate.”

I rolled on the condom while he continued fucking himself with two fingers and the visual almost made me lose my load too early. After I slicked my cock and his hole with more lube, my forearms caged him against the pillow. “You’re sure?”

“Never been more sure,” he panted out and as his gaze tethered to mine, I felt such a profound spark of longing for this man. To be his constant. His everything.

“Need to be inside you.” My hands latched onto his thighs, lifting them higher as I lined up my cock with his hole. I surged forward until the tip penetrated his tight muscle.

I heard a sharp inhale as Sebastian’s head sank deeper into the pillow and his fingers clamped hard against the sheets.

“Fuck.” I stilled to allow him time to breathe and for me to use extra caution and restraint. “You okay?” I whispered, afraid to even move a muscle. His lip trembled as he nodded. As he gazed up at me with complete trust and awe, I vowed to make it enjoyable for him.

Grunting, I drove further inside his hot hole and the feeling was so indescribable it made my teeth clatter. “You’re so good, so tight.”

When I looked down and saw myself inside Sebastian’s body, my heart expanded inside my throat. Fully seated, I paused a moment to take in the sensation of being enveloped in Sebastian’s warmth. Of being closer to him than ever before. Of him allowing me the opportunity to connect on this level.

I sank down on my elbows to gaze into his dark eyes and kiss his sweet lips, which were swollen from Sebastian biting them. His cock lay thick and heavy between our bodies, and I refrained from pounding into him until he was ready.

“Sebastian?” I whispered, surging in shallow stabs, as a line of sweat formed along my brow and nape. “Baby, I want to make sure—”

“Please don’t stop.” His breath was releasing in soft wisps and his pupils were blown wide. “I’ve never felt anything like this.”

“For the record, neither have I.” I sighed and softly kissed his mouth, my tongue licking over his lips. “I love being inside you.”

He moaned and his fingernails scraped along my scalp, sending pinpricks of heat in sensual waves along the surface of my skin.

His knuckles slid across my jaw and when I looked down at him, he said, “Make me yours.” His breath brushed across all of my nerve endings, generating a trigger, which erupted into a pyrotechnics display inside my chest and groin.

I hemmed his arms above his head, threaded our fingers together, and devoured his lips and throat. When I began thrusting hard and deep and heard his guttural groans it only urged me on. I withdrew almost all the way out and then slammed back inside as he recited my name in one long verse, like a song.

“Fuck,” he gasped and then writhed beneath me, his jaw opening in harsh pants and his eyes completely blissed out. My groin kept digging into his ass with long strokes and I wanted so badly to spill myself inside him. To own him, mark him, make him mine.

A flush of color moved across his cheeks and down his chest. The sounds emitting from deep in his throat were driving me wild. My mouth opened in a silent chant as my eyes practically rolled into the back of my head.

“Feels amazing,” Sebastian said, gritting his teeth. “Oh yeah, right there.”

I continued jerking forward in long and fluid thrusts until he looked like he was going to lose his mind. My entire body was on fire; my balls were tight and as I pumped into him hot and solid, I knew I was going to break apart at any moment.

I reached between us to his cock, my thumb pressing over the slick head. The moment our mouths sealed together in a hot and hungry kiss, he was gone. “Oh God,” he blurted. His come shot out in long spurts over my hand and down to his stomach.

His ass was pulsing and gripping my cock like a tight glove and I kept thrusting and fucking him right through it. I watched a deep flush move across his chest, his neck and his cheeks. As his glazed eyes connected with mine in complete tenderness and wonder, my spine tingled, my balls drew up tight, and I lost it.

Crying out my release, hot surges of come emptied inside the condom. I collapsed to his chest, my breaths erratic, my shoulders quaking and I knew in that moment I had never felt anything purer. Truer. More real. “Holy shit.”

We lay tangled in a hot sticky mess, catching our breaths and floating back into our new reality. One that made me infinitely happy. He whispered that he loved me and I said it back. It felt fucking perfect.

“Round one was fantastic,” he said in a breathless smirk, as I withdrew from his body and rolled over. “My ass burns, but I’ll be ready for more.”

When I mumbled something about a queen only putting out once a night he laughed and licked a stripe across my nape.

“Well,” I said, adjusting myself on the pillow. “You better have ice cream if we’re going to pull an all-nighter.”

“I do,” he said as he rose from the bed to clean himself up. “A freezer filled with
strawberry
.”

When I threw the pillow at his back, it missed. But at least I got a view of that perfect ass and the smile over his shoulder that he seemed to reserve only for me.

A
pparently queens
can
go
a second round as long as they’re allowed to snooze until late morning. I quietly padded out of bed so sleeping beauty—also known as my boyfriend—could rest soundly for another hour.
Boyfriend.
Damn, I liked the sound of that.

After I got off the phone with my mom and then Tori—whose squeal could probably be heard from blocks away—I figured out how to work Sebastian’s fancy coffee machine on the kitchen counter.

Walking back into the bedroom with a steaming cup, I set the coffee down on the nightstand as Sebastian’s eyes drifted open.

“You sore?” I asked, running my fingers through his silky strands, which were endearingly messy from our spectacular night.

“Maybe a little.” He tugged me down for a sleepy kiss. “But I wouldn’t change a thing,” he whispered in my ear, which caused a shiver to race through me.

“Me neither,” I murmured, slipping back into the soft covers and his warm embrace. It felt amazing to share a bed with the guy that I loved. The man who accepted me for exactly who I was. “You have a day to recoup, so you don’t walk like a bow-legged cowboy in front of my mom.”

“Your mom?” he asked groggily.

“She invited you over for brunch with Tori and me tomorrow.”

“Seriously?” I heard the adorable smile in his voice. “I like Tanya a lot.”

“Well she already adores you and she’s happy that I finally pulled my head out of my ass,” I said, sighing dramatically. “Her exact words.”

“There’s some joke in there, but I’m too tired to be witty.”

“I really
am
rubbing off on you,” I said, wiggling my ass against his groin. He groaned and pulled me further into his chest.

“You know who else Mom was crazy about from the fundraiser?” I inquired, a little breathless from his hard cock resting against my ass. “Annie and Karen. She said to ask them, too.”

He stiffened momentarily. “Does your mom always randomly invite people over?”

“She likes to stay active and busy and yeah, she always has some sort of lunch or dinner thing going on,” I said around a yawn. “So you’ll come?”

I’d love to,” he said with a bit of awe in his voice. “I mean if this is too much, too soon for you—”

“Too much? Baby, it’s perfect.”

“I like when you call me that,” he said, kissing my temple.

I twisted in his arms so I could see his eyes. “I want all the important people in my life to meet all the important people in yours.”

His gaze softened. “I’ve never really had that before.”

My heart stuttered. “Neither have I. But I want it, with
you
.”

After Sebastian kissed me senseless, he threw back the covers. “I need to get to Rosie’s. Annie said she’d open for me today. I’ll ask her about the brunch.”

“Wait.” I grabbed for the sheets and drew them back over us. “Just five more minutes. A queen needs her rest.”

“I’ll give you
more
than five later,” he growled in my ear as he tangled our arms and legs back together.

A sigh escaped my lips because the idea of it was perfection. “Can’t wait.”

Content in his arms once again, an awesome idea occurred to me, so my fingers stretched for my cell on the nightstand. I found the photo section and swiped the screen to video mode.

When I raised the phone in the air and angled it toward the headboard, Sebastian groaned and slung his arm over his head. “What are you doing?”

“I promise only our faces are in the shot—maybe our shoulders too—and I won’t upload this without your permission.”

He drew his elbow away from his eyes. “What do you mean?”

I hit the record button without responding, hoping that throwing him straight into the fire would stop him from thinking too hard about it. “Hey everyone. I’m here with Dark Eyes. Remember, he’s really shy so we need to cut him some slack.”

I heard Sebastian inhale sharply when he realized what I was doing. But he didn’t try to move away or avoid being in the frame. He remained perfectly still and stared up at the camera.

“Maybe your audience should know my real name by now.” He threaded his fingers through his messy hair in an attempt to manage it. “I’m Sebastian.”

My pulse pounded in my ears. It was like his second wave of coming out. I angled my head and swiftly kissed his cheek in gratitude and pride.

“So we’re back together.” I cooed. “Sebastian did something amazing last night. He basically showed up at Ruby Redd’s, got up on stage, and
owned
it.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Sebastian interjected in the low sleepy voice that was sure to make my audience swoon.

“He professed his feelings for me publicly and the crowd went wild. I mean, how could they not?” I stole a quick glance in his direction. “Would you look at him?”

A gorgeous blush crawled across his cheeks as he cleared his throat. “I figured it was time to get some stuff straightened out so we could finally be together.”

He nuzzled his face into my neck and kissed the spot directly below my ear. It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I found that I could barely concentrate let alone speak. Before I flung back the covers and exposed us—so I could jump him again—it was probably best to wrap the segment up.

“So yeah,” I said, half croak, half sigh. “And I also apologized for being a complete twat.”

He hummed against the side of my throat, making my entire body heat up.

“We just wanted to fill you in on what’s shaking over here,” I said, attempting to focus on the video long enough to finish what I started. “This is Tate and Sebastian, signing off.”

Sebastian lifted his hand toward the camera in an adorably awkward wave.

“More soon.” I grinned. “For now, we’re going to ride off into the sunset together like in one of those cheestastic romantic comedies.”

“To what song?” Sebastian asked.

My eyebrows drew together. “Huh?”

“What song would be the backdrop for our happily-ever-after?”

I could feel my pulse pounding at my throat from his magical words. That he would even think long-term commitment with me, that he wanted this with me, was a feeling like none other.

“Some show tune of course,” I said, distractedly. “Maybe the one from West Side Story—
Tonight
.”

“Good one,” Sebastian said, as his fingers grazed my jawline. When our eyes met, he murmured, “I
love
you.”

He kissed the side of my mouth and I melted into the covers, my arm still attempting to hold the phone steady. But at that point it didn’t matter because this was just us and all I could focus on was
him
. “I love you too.”

As our lips fused and held, everything faded away. The phone, the room, and the sounds of the city outside our window.

Just a boy loving a boy and wanting everything with him.