The Heartbreak Cafe (19 page)

Jess
squirmed with mortification. ‘Thanks very much,’ she said, taking a
seat beside the others at the table, while Nina waited to take
their orders.

‘
So, how are things with you? Have you grown tired of us yet?’
Emer asked her, before filling Jess in on how Nina was just here
visiting her father for the summer.

‘
Oh, I’ve been keeping busy. As well as being here, I’ve also
been helping out Trish with the charity book.’

‘
The photography thing? When is that coming out?’

Jess was
amazed at how Deirdre and Emer had slotted so easily into small
town life. To think that once upon a time the group of them had
shared everything, and now here her friends were chatting away
about all these people Jess had never even heard of.

Nina
rolled her eyes indulgently. ‘With Trish, who knows? It’s slow
going at the moment, but she’s getting there. I think she’s
planning on knocking on doors soon, asking some of the older people
if they have any interesting stories from way back
when.’

‘
I haven’t seen her for a while,’ Emer commented. ‘That piece
she did for the paper about Ruth Seymour’s homecoming party was
really good though. Have you seen her around by the way? I thought
she was supposed to be in town for a while but I haven’t heard much
about her since that party. Which I missed anyway because I
couldn’t get a babysitter,’ she added glumly.

‘
Ruth Seymour, you mean the actress?’ Jess asked
surprised.

‘
Yes, didn’t I tell you she was from Lakeview? Well there you
have it, not such a backwater now is it?’ her friend said
triumphantly, and Jess blanched, horrified that this nice waitress
would think she was slagging off her hometown.

‘
I never said anything like that,’ she said quickly.

‘
Oh, I’m only teasing,’ Emer grinned, before adding. ‘Jess is a
real city girl. You know, has a stroke if she’d not close to all
her little shoe shops and cocktail bars.’

‘
I’d like to think there’s a little more to me than that,’ Jess
said testily before she could stop herself, and Emer and Deirdre
looked at her, surprised.

‘
Yes, well she’s very sweet and more down to earth than you’d
think,’ Nina said quickly, evidently sensing some tension. ‘Under a
lot of strain it seems, but very nice. I knew her when we were
younger and Trish and I have met up with her once or twice but for
the most part, I think she just wants to relax and spend time with
her parents. And who could blame her, after all that mania? Anyway,
what can I get you?’ She smiled at the children. ‘I’m sure you lot
would love a lollipop to start with, what do you think?’

Jess
looked at Nina for a moment. She seemed lovely; incredibly warm and
sincere.

‘
Do you have children yourself?’ she asked her.

‘
Oh no,’ she replied quickly, and Jess thought somewhat
uncomfortably, but at that moment, someone at another table
signalled for her attention. ‘Oops, give me a second, I’ll be right
back.’

‘
She seems really nice,’ Jess said, when Nina moved
away.

Emer
looked up from her menu. ‘She is and she’s a gem, really sweet. Now
her friend Trish, the one she was just talking about? Totally
different story, isn’t she Deirdre?’

‘
Bit of a wagon, yes,’ Deirdre agreed and Jess looked up
expectantly; it sounded like they were going to have a good
old-fashioned gossip, just like they used to, but then Emer changed
the subject again. ‘Oh by the way, I forgot to ask you, what age
was Dylan when he first started walking?’

‘
Thirteen months, why?’

‘
Well, I think Amy might be on her way to trumping that,’ she
said, smiling proudly.

This was
another thing Jess had noticed lately, this huge
passive-aggressivecompetitiveness between the two women as to their
babies’ developmental progress. There was a lot of talk about how,
at ten months, Amy already had seven new teeth, whereas Dylan only
had five at the same age etc. Did it really matter? Jess
wondered.

It was
one more thing that she failed to understand about all this, the
complete change of outlook. She allowed herself to zone out for a
moment, wondering if she would be like that if she had a baby.
Would she talk non-stop about teething, crawling and vaccinations,
and try to undermine other mums with her child’s progress, or end
up feeling insecure if hers was behind? And if it was all such a
big race when they were babies, what on earth would it be like when
they got older and there were academic and sporting achievements to
measure up to?

Despite
herself, Jess shuddered and gazed across the room at Nina making
her way with a tray full of pastries. She saw how the girl chatted
away to the other patrons of the café, and wished for a moment that
Nina would come this way and talk to them, because if she was being
honest, she was once again running out of things to say to the
other two.

She
decided that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad when she actually was
pregnant; then she wouldn’t have to pretend about all of this, and
could genuinely be excited about a real event, something that was
actually going to happen. She would have a due date and Emer and
Deirdre would have great fun making plans with her, she could
discuss all the different stages of pregnancy with them and it
would be real. As opposed to now shopping in baby stores with them
for something that was nothing more than an unfertilised egg. If
Jess was pregnant then she would be so much more into it
all.

Which
brought her right back to her original conundrum; how was she going
to get Brian to see her side of things, how was she going to
convince him she was truly ready to be a mother?

Unintentionally she sighed out loud and Emer looked at her.
‘Sorry, Jess, are we boring you again?’

‘
Oh no, no not at all, I was just thinking about the time,’ she
said quickly. ‘You see, I told Brian I would be back around
lunchtime; one of his colleagues has invited us to a garden party
this evening and I need to go back and get ready.’

‘
A garden party, you lucky thing,’ Deirdre smiled enviously.
‘It seems like ages since I’ve got all dressed for a night out on
the town with my husband.’

Emer
snorted. ‘All dressed up? I would take just a night out with my
husband!’

‘
What are you wearing Jess?’ Deirdre asked.

‘
Oh, I’ll just pick something out of my wardrobe.’ Jess didn’t
feel comfortable telling them that she’d bought a beautiful Tory
Birch ochre-coloured silk sheath especially for the
occasion.

‘
Well, I’m sure you’ll have lots to choose from,’ Emer said
shortly, and again she noticed a disapproving edge to her friend’s
tone, as if having a designer wardrobe was yet another example of
Jess’s trivial priorities.

When had
this happened? Jess wondered. When had the things in life she’d
enjoyed, things like nice clothes and staying in good hotels change
from being rewards of her hard work, to symbols of her
superficiality?

Eventually, she got up from the table and hugged both of her
friends goodbye. ‘Talk soon, and you guys should bring the kids up
to see to us sometime,’ she said, even though she knew there wasn’t
much of a chance of that happening.

‘
Will do. Good luck with everything,’ Deirdre said, ‘and who
knows, tonight could be the night.’

Jess
looked at her blankly. ‘Tonight?’

‘
That it happens of course,’ her friend laughed and Jess smiled
tightly.

‘
Oh yes, absolutely. Fingers crossed.’

Back in
Dublin, she pulled to a stop in front of the townhouse. She scanned
the street for Brian’s car but it looked like he wasn’t home from
his golf outing yet.

She went
inside the house and started up the stairs towards the
bedroom.

Opening
her wardrobe, she flicked through the various dresses she owned
until she found the one she was going to wear this
evening.

It really
was beautiful; and OK so it had cost an arm and a leg but she would
have it forever. Well, she would if she stayed a size ten forever
and if she did end up getting pregnant chances were that might not
happen.

Emer had
put on a lot of weight with Amy and had since lost most of it,
although she guessed the last thing on her friend’s mind these days
was worrying about fitting into designer labels. But perhaps that
was why she’d seemed so sniffy during their conversation earlier?
If so, Jess couldn’t truly understand why. If she had a little
angel like Amy, fancy labels and keeping up appearances would no
doubt fade into insignificance.

Hanging
the dress outside the wardrobe, she got undressed and padded
barefoot into the ensuite. A few minutes later, she got out of the
shower and wrapped a towel around her, listening for signs of her
husband’s arrival. Nope, still nothing – he must be running
late.

Jess sat
down in front of the vanity unit to start on her makeup. Opening
the drawer where she kept her everyday cosmetics, something
immediately jumped out at her; her birth control pills.

She
hadn’t yet taken it today, had she? She opened the little blue case
up and sure enough, the pill marked ‘Saturday’ was still in its
protective plastic. She popped it out and was about to put it in
her mouth when something made her pause.

She froze
and pulled her hand back, looking at the little tablet. If she was
so sure she wanted to get pregnant, why was she continuing to take
these pills? Because Brian’s not on board yet, the little voice
answered. Still, as she’d pointed out to him before, it could take
up to a year for her body to get back to normal, and ready for
conception.

Jess
studied her reflection in the mirror, realising that she couldn’t
wait that long. A whole year before they could even begin? No,
there was no point in waiting until Brian gave the go ahead; that
would delay things even further. As it was he was so easygoing he
would probably come round soon, so she might as well get the ball
rolling now.

Jess
dropped the case back into the drawer and hid it beneath a pile of
Lancôme creams and eye shadows.

Maybe,
just maybe the answer would present itself, and nature would work
it all out.

Ruth
paced back and forth in the bathroom of her parents’ house. She
thought that her heart was going to jump out of her chest it was
pounding so hard. Frankly, she wouldn’t be surprised if she had a
heart attack and died right there and then, the way her luck was
going lately. She couldn’t believe just how horrible everything was
at the moment. For someone who’d always believed she’d been born
under a lucky star and that fate that had directed her up to this
point, it certainly had been a long few weeks of bad luck. Or was
it bad karma?

She sat
down on the corner of the bed and placed her head in her hands. How
much longer damnit? She looked at her watch, amazed. Was it really
possible that only a minute had passed?

Ruth
groaned. The thing sat on top of the en-suite washbasin, beckoning
her, taunting her.

It was
now well over a month since that ill-fated encounter with Troy and
the day of reckoning had arrived. She knew she shouldn’t have been
so surprised when her period didn’t start last week like it was
supposed to, but she was. She was not only surprised; but
completely frantic that the morning after pill might not have
worked.

But by
day three of ‘the missed period’ she knew she could no longer put
off the inevitable. That morning, she’d fished out the pregnancy
test that Chloe had given her, read the directions and peed on the
stick. Which was why she was sitting here like an idiot, waiting
for some little piece of white plastic to decide her
fate.

She
checked her watch again; two minutes had passed.

Ruth
stood up and started to pace again. To say that her trip home had
so far not gone as planned was an understatement. Right from the
beginning, from that upsetting arrival at the airport to that
horrible TV interview, to hiding in a closet at her own goddamn
party! Then as if that wasn’t enough, there was that mortifying
confrontation with Charlie outside the café. At this stage, Ruth
didn’t know whether she just should pack up and head straight back
to Los Angeles.

Still
however mortifying being in Lakeview was, at least she wasn’t alone
here. Her parents had been wonderful and the locals (especially
Trish and Nina) had gone out of their way to be kind, well Nina had
at least, Ruth still wasn’t sure about Trish.

At
Trish’s pleading, she’d met with her for the interview for the
paper, and while the questions seemed innocuous enough, Ruth hadn’t
known what to expect from the finished article. Who knew what way
her words could be twisted? She’d been careful not to mention
anything about Troy or their ‘relationship’ and had tried her best
to come across as the ‘local girl done good’, speaking at length
about her Beverly Hills home and glamorous LA lifestyle.

It was
due to appear in the paper today but Ruth didn’t have the stomach
to go out and get it, especially if it turned out to be yet another
hatchet job. She tried her utmost to make it all sound
fairytale-like, conscious of the fact that Charlie Mellon would
undoubtedly read it.