The Jewish Dog (10 page)

Frank looked at Maximilian and nodded
.
Then he hid his face in his hands and let out a long breath
.
“She treats Zelig worse than you could imagine
.
Today she had him locked up in the pantry all day.”

“The monster!” Maximilian was shocked
.
“My word
,
she's simply a monster
!
You have to leave that woman.”

“Yes
,
and then spend the rest of my life broke. . . .”

“You're addicted to whining!” Maximilian didn't spare him
.
“A journalist who writes about Piet Harlan and Carl Orff won't have to beg for money
,
and you know plenty well that I'd never let you spend a night on the streets
.
But what can I say? It's your life.”

After a moment of silence
,
their eyes met
.
“Shall we go up for a cup of coffee?”

Frank made a face and shook his head
.
“She's home
,
as usual
,
watching the minister's dim-witted daughter.”

“Father Flaschbuch's?”

“Yes
.
Reading her the stories of Christ over and over
.
Even Zelig would get bored listening to those stories so many times.”

Maximilian patted my head and spoke directly to me
.
“Jesus
,
the protagonist of the New Testament
,
was one of you guys
.
Yes
,
as a young man
,
he was part of your Jewish pack
,
until he got sick of them and started his own pack
.
His new pack was extremely popular and new members began joining at a dizzying rate
.
And shall I tell you another fascinating tidbit
,
my furry little friend? Jesus was blessed with especially low density. . . .”

Frank gave him a quizzical look.

“It helped him walk across some ponds.”

Frank smiled affectionately at his friend and said
,
“Stop being an idiot.”

“If Greta is allowed
,
so am I,” Maximilian responded
.
“Jesus had amazing healing powers
.
He was a supervet
.
Every lame dog he met suddenly stopped limping
,
and every docked cocker spaniel he petted resprouted his tail
.
Blind dogs could see again
,
and anosmic dogs could smell again
.
And do you want to hear one more secret?” He looked at me and then at Frank
.
It had been so long since I had received such attention
,
and I barked happily
.
“Jesus was God's son
,
but to bring him into the world He didn't even have to have. . . .”

“Enough nonsense!” Frank scolded Maximilian
.
“I need to get back home and buy a bone for Zelig on the way
.
I should hurry
.
You know what Greta is like
.
She'll start getting suspicious. . . .”

CHAPTER 14

T
he first thought that went through my mind the moment my paws touched the rug in Frank and Greta's house was that I must escape
.
But after receiving three angry spanks from Greta
,
it was no longer a thought
.
It was an existential feeling that took hold of me.

It all began with the damned bone that Frank bought at the butcher.

“Here,” Greta said
,
holding the bone in front of my snout
.
“This is for you
.
Eat it and enjoy – just don't come near the carpets.”

I accepted the gift
,
and had she not moved her hand away in the blink of an eye
,
I would have thanked her with a lick
.
Excellent
!
We had now turned over a new leaf in our relationship
.
I chewed the bone thoroughly and with great care
,
milking every drop of juicy marrow
.
After a long hour of chewing
,
I grew tired and satisfied
,
and I decided to hide my bone in a safe location
.
I noticed a lump in the sofa and dug my teeth in
.
Before long
,
I had created a small hollow in the cushion for the bone
.
I knew it would be safe there
.
I didn't want to lose the bone as it represented a positive turn in my relationship with Greta.

When Greta came home
,
she began screaming like a madwoman at the sight of the living room.

“You idiot
!
Idiot!” she cried
.
She picked up a slipper and started hitting me
.
“Bad dog
!
Bad
!
Bad dog!”

I cried soundlessly
,
and a horrible feeling urging me to escape this dungeon filled my heart.

Weeks went by and the feeling wouldn't pass
.
In fact
,
it grew stronger every day
.
I must return to the Gottliebs
,
come what may
.
As I lay in my corner at night
,
I tried to find an explanation
.
Against whom had I sinned to deserve such a punishment? Did the Gottliebs take insult in my mischievous deeds? Did I bark too much?

I recalled my role in the cat hunt
.
The image of the limp corpse resurfaced in my mind
.
Indeed
,
I was being punished
.
I accepted my stay at Frank and Greta's as fair judgment
.
At night I was haunted by the kitten's accusing eyes
,
and I slept restlessly.

Though I accepted my fate
,
my remorse did not last long
.
Though I knew I deserved the punishment
,
I made a firm decision not to bear it
.
I would seize the first opportunity and make my escape
.
Two months later
,
I was granted the perfect opening
.
Because the damage I had caused to the sofa was irreparable
,
the Heinzes decided to purchase a new couch
.
The old one was taken down to the street and a group of porters carried up the new one
.
Greta and Frank hovered around the porters to ensure that the doorposts weren't damaged
.
I took advantage of the hustle and bustle, and snuck out
.
I managed to cross a mere two blocks when the sky went dark and rain came pouring down from the heavens
.
To my sensitive ears
,
the thunder sounded like the trumpets of the apocalypse
.
I ran frantically to the nearest shelter I could think of – Frank and Greta's house.

“Ah
,
here you are,” Frank said happily
.
“I was wondering where you'd disappeared to.”

“And I don't understand why you came back,” Greta muttered just loud enough for Frank to hear.

“Why are you so hostile?” Frank asked
.
“You know
,
Shoshana said. . . .”

“Who is Shoshana?”

“Frau Gottlieb
,
Kalman's wife
.
Shoshana said that he's a very bright dog
.
She said that he has an extraordinary grasp of things.”

“I don't think he can even grasp his own tail.”

Her cruel comeback was followed by a strike of lightning and clap of thunder
.
The noise was terrifying
.
As quickly as I could
,
before the lightning would turn me into a lump of coal
,
I took cover under the table
.
Greta saw how frightened I was and burst into laughter that dripped with scorn
.
She pointed at me and said
,
“Here's your genius dog
.
Look at him
,
hiding like a nincompoop
.
Look at your cowardly Jew dog
.
Look how he's shivering from a few claps of thunder.”

She liked the new nickname she dubbed me with – “Jew dog” – and wouldn't stop using it
.
It was always accompanied by degrading adjectives
:
“Come here
,
you filthy Jew dog.” “Tell the stupid Jew dog to stop barking,” “Look how that flea-ridden Jew dog you brought in can't stop scratching himself.”

The initial hostility I had felt toward Greta developed into complete abhorrence
.
My world became gray and bitter
.
I became depressed
,
my appetite diminished
,
and I lost weight
.
I couldn't remember the last time I had wagged my tail.

I was furious at myself for being such a coward
,
and swore that I would not squander my next opportunity for freedom.

CHAPTER 15

I
ntense doubts gnawed at me day and night
,
but I stayed strong
.
Although my attempt to escape had failed
,
I would not accept such a fate
.
I would not serve a life sentence with the submissive Frank and his witch of a wife
.
But what could I do?

How would I free myself from Greta's evil clutches? When would there be another chance to flee?

It was Greta
,
of all people
,
who opened the window of opportunity
.
She would often accuse her husband of bringing a dismal dog into the house
.
Not once did it cross her mind that she herself was the cause of my gloom
.
Frank apologized time and time again
,
embarrassed
.
“I really don't know what happened
.
At the Gottliebs he always seemed so joyful and vivacious
.
Maybe he's ill.”

I was taken to the vet for a full examination
.
His name was Marzel
,
and he gave off a Jewish scent that reminded me of home
.
Honey
,
horseradish
,
old books
,
and garlic
.
He had a private clinic adjacent to his home
.
The nostalgia induced by the Jewish aroma got my tail wagging energetically.

Doktor Marzel Cohen probed my inner organs
,
making sure they were all set in their proper place
.
He held my mouth open and looked inside
,
checked my pupils
,
examined my ears
,
and scrutinized the mercury thermometer that he inserted in my
tuches
.

“Your dog is perfectly healthy,” he ceremoniously announced
,
and undercharged Frank for the visit due to lack of findings.

“Well
,
how do you explain that he sits around the house all day
,
as still as a statue?”

“A dog needs company
,
Frank my friend
.
He needs time to run and play with other dogs
.
He needs children to throw sticks for him to fetch
.
Your kids have all grown up and moved away
,
and I presume a busy newspaper man such as yourself doesn't have the time to care for the cute little puppy.”

“All right,” Frank said
,
and thanked the vet for the exam
.
“I'll think of a way to try to give him some more of my time.”

“You have to
.
Otherwise the poor thing will die of grief.”

I had been listening closely to the vet
,
and I was moved by his precise diagnosis.

On our way home
,
we passed by a large grassy field
.
A schnauzer with a trowel-shaped snout barked at me from the other side of the road
.
Frank recognized the golden-haired lady holding the schnauzer's leash.

We crossed the street.

“Hello
,
Paula
.
What's new at the newspaper?

“Hello
,
Herr Frank
.
Not much is happening by us
.
Why don't we let the dogs run around on the grass for a while?”

Frank hesitated and Paula urged him to stay
.
“Just for a few minutes
.
It's good for them
.
Look how happy Leopold is to meet friends
.
He's not aggressive
.
There's really nothing to worry about.”

“No
,
that's not the issue. . . .”

Paula leaned toward me
.
“What's your name
,
cutie?”

Leopold stood on his hind legs and let out a string of jealous barks.

“His name is Zelig,” Frank answered for me
.
He glanced at his watch
.
“If I'm late for dinner
,
Greta won't let me hear the end of it.”

I wagged my tail and barked enthusiastically
.
It had been ages since I last met a nice dog to share a short game of tag with
.
Frank looked at me encouragingly
,
Doktor Marzel's advice echoing in his ears
.
“Oh
,
all right
.
But just for a few minutes.”

Round-faced Paula and Frank brought us closer to one another
.
We stood for a moment
,
Leopold and I
,
in the conventional mutual sniffing position
.
I got the impression that we could play together without fear of our game turning sour
.
On the one hand
,
he seemed calm and secure
,
while on the other hand
,
he seemed to lack the compulsion to control and dominate
.
The sight of my wagging tail and Leopold's cheerfully oscillating stump convinced our owners that they need not fear
,
and they released us from our leashes.

I crouched down
,
extended my front paws
,
and held them close to the grass
.
My tail went straight up into the air
,
declaring
if you chase me, I'll run like the wind
.
Leopold accepted my challenge
,
and I began evasive maneuvers
,
leaving a confused schnauzer on my trail
.
Out of the corner of my eye
,
I saw Frank engrossed in conversation with the young lady
,
his eyes off me
.
Now
!
This is my chance
!
I would be a neglected and lonely dog no more
.
I must find my way back to the Gottliebs
.
My heart was flooded with a wave of yearning for the feeling of Reizel's soft hands on my back
,
for games of catch with Joshua
,
for walks with Kalman
,
and for sausages sneaked to me under the table by Herschel.

If I didn't seize this opportunity
,
I would end up getting used to my new
,
foreign name
.
I wanted my real name back.

It is better to try and fail
,
I told myself
,
than to fail to try.

It was now or never
.
I leapt over the shrubs and turned toward one of the side alleys.

On the streets
,
they had started to light the street lamps
.
Darkness descended
.
Bloodthirsty teenagers appeared
,
faces half hidden in the dark
.
As I ran from shadow to shadow
,
I could see them beating
,
burning
,
and shattering windows
.
Scared
,
I found a hiding place in a dark alleyway
.
Dozens of boys gathered at the end of the street
,
piling books upon books
.
One sent a torch flying
,
and within moments
,
the pile rose into a ball of fire
.
The great light blinded me and I was struck by fear
.
Fire was the element I loathed most
,
and I was paralyzed by the thought of my fur being consumed by the flames.

Suddenly
,
I heard a familiar voice searching for me
.
“Zelig
,
Zelig . . 
.
Zelig. . . .” Frank called loudly
.
I was surprised that he had not given up
.
I had to decide quickly what to do
.
One end of the alley was blocked by the book-burning boys
.
Frank's shadow was nearing at the other end
.
This is it
,
I thought
.
I am as good as caught
.
I was already imagining Frank dragging me back to his home and wife.

But he still hadn't noticed me and there remained in my heart a sliver of hope
.
The sun had set
,
and Frank would almost certainly not persist in his search much longer
.
Still in my hiding place behind the dumpster
,
I brought all my extremities as close to my chest as caninely possible
,
compacting myself as best as I could.

Frank was coming closer
.
“Zelig
,
Zelig. . . .” He was just feet away
.
I kept close to the ground
,
silent as I could be
.
Frank turned this way and that
,
surveying the scene one final time.

“Treacherous
,
ungrateful Jew dog,” he said angrily
,
and headed home for dinner with his Greta.

I remained glued to the sidewalk behind the dumpster
,
wondering why I was chased by such misfortune
.
I thought once more of the hunt
,
the motionless kitten
,
Karl Gustav's triumphant barks
,
and worst of all
,
my unforgivable silence
.
At that moment
,
I took a vow
:
never again would I shed feline blood
.
Then I looked up at the horizon
,
at the roofs and the dark canvas of sky stretched between them
.
Was there someone up there to hear my vow?

Another doleful memory then arose
.
The image of my siblings
,
whom I would never see again
.
Woe is me
,
a house pet I had been
,
with the riches of my owners clutched between my paws
;
now they clutch nothing
.
I have no one to protect me
,
to feed me
,
to fill my water bowl
.
Where are Herschel's warm legs to press against on the cold
,
windy nights?

I rose slowly from my hiding place and walked onto the street
.
The scents that used to spark my curiosity now forewarned danger
.
Cars out to hit
,
police horses with hooves fit to kill
,
and worst of all – restless hoodlums
,
ready to throw any object in reach.

An arm came suddenly through the dark and grabbed at my throat
.
It caught my collar
,
and I heard Frank's voice growl at me
.
“Here you are
,
you elusive Jewish bastard
!
You thought you could escape
!
Ha!”

I tried to shrink away
,
preparing to receive the lashing an unruly dog deserves
.
But instead of a big
zetz
, I was surprised with a hug and a petting
.
Frank held my face between his hands
.
“All right,” he said
.
“The doctor was right
.
I wasn't giving you the attention you need
.
Not to absolve myself of blame
,
but it's Greta's fault
!
Ach
,
what do you know? You just want to chase sticks with your friends
.
You don't need to grovel to a rich father-in-law and work hard to support a hellcat
.
Just as you live by the grace of my hand
,
I live by the grace of hers and her family's
.
If it weren't for her father
,
I wouldn't have enough money to fill a dog's dish
.
Dammit
,
Zelig
,
my life is in the dumps
.
Thank God I found myself a cute little idiot like you.”