The Jewish Dog (14 page)

CHAPTER 21

I
heeded the command of the Heavenly Dog and left the city
.
I wandered the suburbs and sent barks out every which way
.
Between barks
,
I would pause and listen
.
I waited to hear if other dogs were barking as well
,
searching
,
like me
,
for more of their kind
.
I could hear a distant echo of barks coming from the orchards that filled the valley
.
I walked toward the sounds
.
There was no need to teach me this valuable lesson
;
I knew very well that “alone” meant “dead.” In the company of other dogs
,
I would be able to hunt better
,
and I would be protected
.
We dogs are so worthless as individuals
,
yet so majestic as a pack.

In one of the peach orchards in the southern suburbs
,
I met a pack of stray dogs.

One of the dogs
,
a mixed mastiff who was almost the size of a wild boar
,
walked toward me slowly
,
his paces even
.
He stood near me
,
just a bite away
,
frozen like a statue and looking straight into my eyes
.
I looked back at him with reverence and awe
.
He raised his tail
,
exposing his privates to show how fearless and self-assured he was
.
Here's a fierce dog
,
I thought
.
Only a complete fool would disrespect him
.
He barked twice –
I am the leader
.
His ears were pointy
,
his fur dense
,
his jaws frightful
,
and his barks rumbling
.
I leaned on my side in a submissive pose
,
declaring that I accepted his leadership.

He seemed satisfied
.
He walked away from me and rubbed against a female pack member
,
whom I'd later name Josephine
.
The message was clear
:
I was welcome as a member of the pack
,
but I should not dare to sniff his favorite cocker spaniel
.
Josephine was his
,
and she was off limits to the rest of the pack
.
I accepted the terms and joined in.

Altogether
,
there were seven members
.
Five males and two females
.
Three of the males were black border terriers
.
Although practically indistinguishable visually
,
their personalities could not have been more different
.
One
,
athletic with curly black fur
,
was an avid hunter and calculating to the bone
.
The second
,
also athletic with curly black fur
,
had a reliable character and tended to remain silent
.
The third
,
athletic with curly black fur as well
,
was reckless and fearless.

I was suddenly struck by an odd feeling
:
I felt the need to treat the members of the pack as humans did
.
I had difficulty acclimating to their presence without giving them
,
or at least some of them
,
names
.
I gave the border terriers names according to their traits
:
“Calculating,” “Reliable,” and “Reckless.” It was clear from their habits that they had never lived with humans.

I named the leader of the pack Gonzales
,
and his mate Josephine
,
as I mentioned
.
Josephine didn't interest me
.
She had a fawning look and her bark was squeaky
.
I had my eye on the other female
,
whom I called Margo
.
I named her for one of the most beautiful puppies I had played with in my youth
.
Margo was a boxer with a firm backside
.
She was covered in short
,
tortoiseshell fur
.
She was my kind of bitch
.
We had only known each other for twenty seconds
,
and her head was already under my tail
.
My heartbeat quickened
.
Ach
,
blessed self-indulgence!

I watched her
,
bewitched
,
as she stretched
,
and the morning sun left gleaming lines on her fur
.
I am no great aesthete
,
but I swear
,
I've never seen anything finer than her in all of creation
.
Margo was a wanderer
,
and she had the same smell that Georg and his friends seemed to hate so much – the Gypsy scent
.
Just like her Gypsy family
,
Margo smelled of sweat and liquor
.
I suddenly felt sorry for all the times I had chased Gypsies
,
egged on by Georg and his friends.

Perhaps inspired by the mystical traditions of her previous owners
,
Margo enjoyed putting her snout to my leg and sniffing my paws at length
.
She examined them closely
,
as though she could find secrets in their lines.

On the very first day we met
,
she hinted with a rousing howl that I was welcome to jump her as I desired
.
It made me uncomfortable
.
Despite the ways of my kind
,
I had a modicum of shyness and modesty
.
I lowered my ears to show my embarrassment
.
Your intensive courting
,
I was saying
,
is not quite to my taste, little virgin Jewish dog that I am.

I eventually gathered my courage and approached her
.
I rubbed my snout against her neck
,
a delicate motion that
,
if translated into human tongue
,
would mean
Margo, my love, I would set my tail on fire for you!
But Margo wasn't satisfied with romantic gestures
.
She wasn't willing to forgo the throes of passion
.
She fluttered her pretty eyelashes and pulled me aside. . . 
.
Margo
,
oh Margo
,
you were as fresh as a spring day when you rose from a dip in the river
,
shaking the water out of your fur at one hundred revolutions per minute
.
How I loved running with you at dusk through the wheat fields
,
biting at your heels
,
and charging at you with the lust of youth.

When I walked with Margo one morning to dip in the river
,
I glanced at my reflection in the water
.
I barely recognized the face that looked back
.
I was no longer the puppy that Reizel had placed in front of a mirror to watch his reactions
,
nor was I the same complacent dog who had looked back from the mirror set in Georg's closet door
.
A strong
,
muscular dog was looking up at me now
.
There was something of my mother's might in the image
.
My body was molded and designed to fit its purpose
.
The months of wandering
,
the hunger
,
the cold
,
and the hunt had made me stronger than ever.

The seasons came and went
,
bringing with them heat and snow
.
One evening
,
I heard strange whistles coming from the sky
.
I looked up and saw a flock of huge birds flying above in an organized formation
.
Large blocks were released from the underbellies of these birds like oversized droppings
.
I heard explosions
,
and pillars of smoke rose from the nearest city.

That evening
,
the border terrier Calculating got a thorn stuck between his teeth
.
The infection spread through his mouth and he grew weak
.
We saved pieces of rabbit from the hunt for him
,
but eating merely caused him more agony
.
Each bite was followed by a yelp of pain
.
He lived on water for several more days until one morning
,
he got up and walked away from the pack
.
It was clear that we must leave him alone
.
He walked to and fro until he found shelter in the shade of a tree and collapsed
.
The fleas and ticks didn't wait until he met his maker
.
Having lost the ability to ward them off
,
they came swarming by the dozens
.
He gazed at the world with a glazed look as his last canine thoughts dimmed in his mind.

About a month after Calculating left the pack
,
we were joined by a thin
,
tall dog with huge ears
.
I named him Donkey Ears
.
He was a curious sort
,
excited by his mere existence
,
and he had a goofy smile permanently fixed to his face
.
Donkey Ears enjoyed following ladybugs and worms that crawled out of the bushes
,
but his chief obsession was chasing butterflies
.
Every time a butterfly flew over his head
,
he would leap and try to snatch it between his jaws
.
Being as clumsy and gangly as he was
,
he never succeeded in his mission
.
His incessant skipping pointed to his deep infantile state
,
and yet he was one of those creatures that it's hard to recall without smiling
.
I used to watch the butter­flies flit away from his empty jaws and wonder about the secret of their flight.

As time passed
,
I rose in the hierarchy of the pack
.
The courage and loyalty I displayed proved their worth
,
and I was promoted to Gonzales's deputy-friend-confidant
.
Everyone obeyed me
,
and a bark from me was as respected as a bark from Gonzales.

Only the king shepherd
,
whom I called Lucas
,
refused to recognize me as deputy to the pack leader
.
Lucas's muscles were as densely packed as an army duffle
;
he had a scar on his snout and a black patch surrounded his mouth like a beard
.
He would raise a nonchalant ear at the sound of my barks
,
and would always challenge me by urinating in the places that I had marked
.
I made it clear that his behavior was unacceptable
,
but he ignored my angry barks
.
Once I even saw him urinate on an old urine stain made by Gonzales
.
That dog simply had no boundaries
.
From my very first day in the pack
,
I noticed that Lucas's admiration of Gonzales as the alpha male was fake and ingratiating
.
He would always pretend that he revered Gonzales
,
but there was scorn hiding beyond his impressed gaze
,
and conspiracy lurking behind his sycophantic eyes.

One day
,
I noticed that Gonzales seemed distressed
.
I guessed that his relationship with Josephine was in crisis
.
I also noticed that she was acting quite coldly toward our leader
.
I suspected that Lucas had something to do with it
.
That sneaking king shepherd had secretly conspired with Josephine
.
I had seen Lucas mocking Gonzales behind his back
.
When Lucas was around Josephine
,
he openly showed his aspirations for the crown
,
and she never even batted an eyelash
!
In fact
,
she displayed a cheerfulness that simply encouraged him
.
Shameless bitch!